Baylee #2
I’m the “happy accident,” as my parents like to call me.
I was very much not expected, coming much later than the rest of my siblings.
The thing with the dynamic between Daniel and I is that while we were close when I was little, the ten-year age gap between us eventually started to wear on me.
As I got older I felt more smothered than protected by him, which caused epic fights between us .
Tucker served as our Switzerland throughout the years.
He kept the peace between my brother and I when tensions got high.
He became my hero, and the person I ran to when I needed someone to lean on without judgment.
I learned pretty quickly that I could get away with a lot as the baby of the family.
Though Tucker was never one to coddle me, he would lend a hand whenever I needed it.
Luckily, I was a tough kid, learning to stick up for myself when necessary.
Being timid isn’t really a personality trait I understand.
My teachers always told my parents I wasn’t shy.
I was quick to speak up for myself if I felt like I wasn’t heard, which I’ve carried through into my adult life.
But right now, my voice is feeling numb as I process the fact that the one man I want is going on a date with someone other than me.
Tucker has grown into a brawny-looking man at six-foot-six, while I’m a petite woman at five-one.
His laid-back personality has women falling at his feet, while I’ve been told I remind people of a black cat with my bold personality.
I have an edge with my fashion sense, preferring to pair my dresses with a leather jacket and my favorite combat boots instead, of fancy heels.
I snap myself out of my thoughts and realize I can’t be here right now.
I start to move through the room and grab my belongings.
I’m not finding the usual comfort my childhood home blankets me in.
I need to get back to my apartment in Connecticut.
My roommates will probably pepper me with questions.
But after that, they’ll shower me with chocolate and a chick flick, while they help me drown my sorrows in a tub of ice cream.
They’re the only ones that know about my true feelings for Tucker.
They knew the moment he arrived to help us move into our place that I had something for him.
My eyes wouldn’t stop tracking his every move through the small space.
The second my brother and Tucker headed back home, they started questioning me .
I continue to grab items and throw them in my weekender, making sure I leave nothing behind. I wasn’t planning to stay long, but my bag was already unpacked last night. I hate having to sift through it, even for a few days, so I immediately pulled everything out when I arrived yesterday.
I refuse to wallow in this little pity party any longer though.
This ends now. The minute I leave this room, I’m leaving Tucker behind me in the process, along with everything I felt for him.
I can’t keep living in the past. I’m done waiting for him to notice me when I’m not even a blip on his radar.
I’m nothing to him and the reality of that is fucking depressing.
Had I walked out there and not heard about the date, I would’ve told him how I felt. What a fool I would’ve made of myself. Thank goodness I saved myself from that humiliation. I deserve better.
If I know anything about Tucker, it’s the fact he puts his friendship with Danny above everything.
Nowhere near as important as my brother in his eyes.
I know he won’t do anything with me in fear of losing a friendship with Danny.
Even if he did like me, I don’t know what I was thinking believing he would ever consider dating me.
Maybe he thought I was attractive this summer, but it was probably nothing more than that.
I’ve matured and he probably just noticed that little fact. I made it out to be more than it was.
I’m better than this. Fuck this shit. I can go find my happily ever after somewhere else. I can conquer the world on my own, thank you very much. And Tucker can watch me from the sidelines.
I hear the front door close while I’m putting the last of my toiletries in my bag.
I don’t let that distract me. I shoot a quick text to my roommates, asking if they have plans for tonight because I need them.
This causes a slew of text responses asking what happened, and I let them know I’ll need a girls’ night tonight to fill them in.
They send me a few heart emojis and “love u” texts.
I zip my bag and sit on my bed to put my shoes on when a faint knock raps on my door.
“Come in,” I say as I tie my sneakers.
“Where are you going?” Danny says as he pokes his head in, surprise etched on his features.
“I’m headed back. I have an assignment due that I forgot about,” I lie.
“Can’t you get it done here?” I know he can tell I’m full of shit.
“Nope. I need to get back because all the coursework for the class is back in my room. Sorry.” Danny has no idea my feelings for Tucker have been growing throughout the years. If he did, he'd lose his shit.
I move past my brother.
“Hey,” Danny grabs my free hand, “you good?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” I continue forward. “I’m just needing to get back. This paper is really stressing me out and I lost precious time I don’t have.” I shrug. My brother doesn’t deserve my attitude. I’m annoyed and I just want to get back to my place and forget about all this stupidity.
I finally look over at Danny and see him inspecting me a little longer, knowing he wants to push me, but decides against it. We’re ten years apart, but something about him right now makes him look younger.
“You know you’re the most important person to me, right Bay?” Danny pulls me into a hug. “I just want you to be happy.”
Something about his tone gives me pause. Where is this coming from?
He kisses the top of my head.
I hug him back tightly. Right now, I think my brother is the only person that might have my back. Maybe the next guy I meet will be the one, and a better pick than Tucker Malloy.