1. Tucker
Tucker
PRESENT DAY—SUMMER
“You know we could just run off together and be happy forever,” I tell Abby as I hold her daughter Gabriella, who we usually call Ella, in my arms. We had to stop calling her Gabby after Abby kept thinking we were talking to her instead of the baby.
She’s tucked in her blanket and looks even smaller because of my size compared to her tiny body.
“Right because we’re so in love?” Abby responds sarcastically from the kitchen as she speeds through grabbing her lunch. Apparently, she doesn’t get much time to herself to eat an uninterrupted meal so she’s taking advantage of this time while I hold her precious daughter.
“I love you as a friend though. Isn’t that enough?” I throw back with a wink that usually has most girls melting into my arms. With Abby, though, it just conjures a laugh. She’s one of my closest friends, that just so happens to be my fellow firefighter’s ex-wife.
She just gave birth to their daughter at the beginning of summer, and they rekindled their love recently. However, they haven’t made it official and remarried, although I do know that will soon change. He confided in me that he has a little plan up his sleeve .
“I love you too, Tucker. Am I in love with you, though? Nope.”
“Harsh!” I exclaim.
She laughs and continues, “Also, I think Clay might be a little pissed to see me pick you over him, seeing as you just got on his good side.” She sits beside me, tucking her feet under herself as she takes a bite of her salad.
“Is that a Caesar salad?” I look at her horrified. She got food poisoning from a restaurant Caesar salad during her pregnancy a few months back and I’d be surprised to see her eating it this soon.
She points the fork in my direction and mumbles, “Don’t fucking utter those words in this house, Malloy. This is an iceberg lettuce salad with ranch dressing. Don’t get it confused with that devil salad!”
I put my free hand up in hopes of taking her anger down a notch. Touchy subject, apparently. Sheesh.
“So, how’s Baylee?” Abby asks, returning her attention to her salad as she preps another bite on her fork.
I sort of regret ever telling her about Baylee because she doesn’t let up. She’s been a hopeless romantic ever since she started back up with Clay. Probably long before that judging by her taste in reality TV love dramas.
I shrug my shoulders. “I have no clue. I know she still has that boyfriend of hers according to Rios, but that’s it. I haven’t seen her.”
It’s the truth. I haven’t spoken to her since that day I accepted my fake date with Abby back in the fall. The fake date that I only took to appease Rios and confirm that I had no feelings for his sister. Seems it worked in Clay and Abby’s favor and resulted in little Ella here.
The same day I accepted the date Baylee ran off back to school to Connecticut.
Probably for the best though. She texted me a few times here and there, but I kept my distance because I didn’t need to complicate my life further.
Once I found out about my mom’s cancer diagnosis, I focused on her care or picking up shifts at the firehouse.
I transferred from Dover to a closer firehouse in Boston to help Mom, which coincidentally ended up being the same firehouse as Rios, and Abby’s boyfriend, Clay. Clay’s identical twin brother River is also at the same station.
The mess from the date with Abby caused a huge disagreement between Rios and Clay, in turn the tension doubled between both brothers and Rios.
I’m trying to keep the peace, but it’s been hard, as Rios is still having a hard time believing I had nothing going on with his sister months ago.
I miss my fucking friend. It’s slowly starting to improve, but it still feels strained.
Luckily, I have Abby and in turn I’ve gained Kennedy, River’s fiancée, as a friend. They’ve been a huge support system as I’ve navigated my mom’s illness. My brother Eric lives in Ohio, practicing law with his fiancée and I want to see him get his law practice up and running.
We were raised by a single mom, and it was always hard for her figuring out life with two rambunctious boys.
As my older brother, he did so much to help me get my life moving forward.
It’s the least I can do to take the lead helping our mom with her illness while he follows his dream.
We speak constantly and he’d drop everything to be here if I were to ask him to come back to Boston.
“Earth to Malloy.” She snaps her fingers. Ella flinches, then settles.
“Don’t bother my girl, Abby!” I look over at the baby and shush her so she doesn’t fully wake up.
“ My girl will sleep through a train passing through. Don’t worry. Plus, I know she loves sleeping in your arms.” Abby takes another bite of food. “Malloy, don’t avoid my question. Why haven’t you spoken to Baylee? I told you to respond to her texts months ago!” Abby whisper-yells .
“Just because you told me to do something doesn’t mean I listened.” I roll my eyes.
“Did you just roll your eyes at me?!” she exclaims.
“Abby, she has a boyfriend. Plus, I’ve been busy.” I bring my focus back to Ella, hoping I can end this conversation before it goes any further.
“ Oh please , Malloy. Don’t act like you’ve been too busy to think about Baylee.
You’re going on these lame dates with random women while you’re thinking about her .
It’s written all over your face.” She stabs her lettuce and stuffs it in her mouth as if Baylee is her best friend and I’m betraying something between them.
“Can you stop talking about Baylee? It’s not like we had something going on between us. I didn’t break her heart or anything,” I say while repositioning Ella onto my shoulder, rubbing her back as she squirms and settles into the crook of my neck.
The silence is unsettling, until I look over to see Abby’s fork mid-air and her mouth agape, while her eyes look murderous.
“What?” I can’t help but ask.
“You’re lucky you’re pretty, because your brain really doesn’t work sometimes. If you weren’t holding my daughter, I would seriously stab you in the eye with this fork.”
“I think we need to talk to Clay about your anger issues.”
She brings her forefinger and thumb to that space between her eyes and inhales a breath, closing her eyes. “I swear Malloy, I need you to listen to me and listen well. She likes you. Just because she’s dating someone else means nothing.”
“I think it means something,” I retort.
“Stop being an ass and pay attention!” Her frustration is quite fun to pull from her so I hold in the laugh, but a smile still frees itself, which causes Abby to pinch my bicep.
“Abby, I swear the last time you did that, I had a bruise. Stop doing that!” I try to swat at her, but don’t want to move too much because of the baby.
“Malloy, you’re almost as bad as River, pretending he didn’t like Kennedy all those years! I don’t know why I even try.” She tosses her fork into her bowl.
“I’m not asking you to do anything.”
“You’re miserable. Don’t you see that?”
“I am not miserable. What are you talking about? I’m fine.” I chuckle. I’m one of the happiest people; Abby’s delusional.
“That’s what you think. You’re just showing up for everyone, playing a part, but you’re not living life to the fullest. I should know, because that’s what I was doing.
I did exactly what you’re doing now. Then I finally had someone pull me out of the hole I was living in, and guess what?
I saw the life I could live. So, I’m going to be the person to push you to your limits. I’ll be your Marissa!” She beams at me.
“You’re no Marissa, sweetheart.” I laugh.
“Hey, that’s not nice.” She fake pouts.
Marissa is Abby’s best friend who lives in Southern California.
She’s one of the reasons I went on that crazy fake date with Abby months ago.
Marissa’s outgoing, speaks her mind, and has no problem grabbing life by the nuts.
She takes what she wants from whatever situation is in front of her.
Abby might be trying to give me the kick in the ass that Marissa gave her last year, but it’s not hitting like she wants it to.
She’s one of my closest friends, but she’s not Marissa.
“I appreciate you wanting to be my cheerleader in life. I think I’m fine and I’m not in some depressive state. I’m doing okay with you. Plus, Kennedy hooked me up with a gym to workout at near my house, so there’s that.”
Since my mom’s diagnosis, I’ve needed an outlet.
Rios and Clay used to be running buddies, but with their relationship still strained after the whole fake-date debacle, I’ve tried to hang out more at the gym with Clay.
I’m not much of a runner though, so Clay has been finding a new crew to run with at the station, while I’ve been trying to find some new people to lift weights with.
River spots with me at the gym sometimes, but it doesn’t always work with our schedules.
Kennedy has hookups with her baseball franchise, so she was able to get me a great deal with a gym near my place with all the bells and whistles for me to lift weights.
There’s no way I would’ve been able to afford such a spot, but she gets an amazing discount, and she had an in for me, so I took her up on it.
It will come in handy when the weather is dicey here in Boston come winter.
Until then, I’ll alternate between enjoying being outside and some indoor workouts at the new place.
“Speaking of workouts, have you seen the jump rope guy on social media? Oh my gosh, I think he recently moved to Boston. I watch his stuff when I’m breastfeeding Ella in the middle of the night,” Abby says as she grabs her phone and starts scrolling.
“Does Clay know you’re watching guys on the internet while feeding his daughter?” I make a face.
“Clay satisfies me just fine. Don’t you worry,” she says with a Cheshire cat grin across her face.
“Gross, I don’t need that visual.” I gag.