1. Tucker #2
A blush paints her cheeks as she continues to scroll, and I honestly don’t need to know what she’s thinking. She can’t find this person’s account fast enough. The moment she stops scrolling, she turns the screen over to me.
“This guy. Have you seen him before?” she asks.
The image of a guy takes up the screen. Of course he’s not wearing a shirt and he’s got tattoos on his chest. He’s got the quintessential defined physique, and he’s jumping rope, doing some crazy maneuvers that look pretty impressive. With my body type, I’d be on my ass in no time.
“Nope, never seen him before. Let me see his handle.” I take her phone and notice his account name is @huntsamillion. “ Nope, never heard of him.” I hand her phone back to her.
“I love his reels. He’s always doing crazy stunts.
He was in the military. Now he’s back to civilian life.
Some of his stuff has weight workouts, some has this jump rope stuff, and then he does runs in different cities he’s in.
It’s pretty cool. But I’ve noticed he posts in Boston a lot lately.
Makes me think he’s here permanently now.
” She keeps looking down at her phone, completely lost in his page.
“Yeah, I bet you follow him for the workouts, Abs,” I say, laughing to myself.
“Fuck you.” She laughs, still not looking up.
“Why are you mentioning this guy, exactly?” I ask, lost to why she brought him up.
“Maybe he could be your friend.” She finally looks up at me.
“Yes, this random guy in a city of over six hundred thousand people, I’ll find him and we’ll become friends. Maybe we can braid each other’s hair and stuff. Maybe he could join us to watch Love is Blind, or come to smutty book club.”
“Oh my gosh, imagine.” She looks at me, hope evident in her eyes.
“I was fucking kidding,” I say. “Oh wait, maybe you can stare at him when I bring him around even though you’re with my buddy Clay.
I bet it’ll work out well for you.” I roll my eyes again.
“You can introduce your daughter to him while you’re at it.
” I point to Ella, who’s starting to squirm and she moves her little fist to her mouth, likely hungry.
“Okay, point taken,” she answers sarcastically. “Now hand me my daughter. It’s close to her feeding.” She makes grabby hands for me to hand the baby over.
“Okay, okay.” I kiss Ella’s cheek and give her to her mother.
Abby takes her daughter and sniffs before bringing her onto her shoulder. Is that a thing ?
“Malloy, back to Baylee,” she starts and I moan, dropping my head to the back of the couch. I run my hands down my face.
“I thought we were done with the Baylee talk,” I complain.
“You have to listen to me. I’m your favorite,” she says.
“Not true. Ella is my favorite,” I say as I reach out and grab the baby’s little toes.
“Fine, second favorite. Baylee might be with this guy now, but you know she wanted to be with you. You ruined that by accepting that date with me. And you only accepted that because you were trying to save your friendship with Rios, which she doesn’t know.
And that didn’t really salvage anything.
Rios is still a dick. That friendship is holding on by a thread.
And do you really think being miserable is worth it?
Do you really think she’s happier without you? ”
I go back to looking up at the ceiling as she talks. I think avoiding her gaze is best, the moment she looks into my eyes, she’ll know what I’m thinking. My reprieve is short-lived, because as soon as she looks into my eyes, she grasps my chin to ensure we are eye level.
“That’s what I thought. You can’t just leave things with her unfinished. Aren’t you just a bit curious? Don’t you want to see if this thing with her could lead to something real?” Abby’s standing over me with Ella snuggled into her neck, although the baby’s starting to get restless.
“When did you become this hopeless romantic? Weren’t you the one pushing Clay away for so long?”
“Yeah, and you were the one making me open my eyes to the fact that I was wrong to do that to him. Don’t let her go, because you’ll regret it.
She won’t have a Malloy by her side taking her on fake dates.
She’ll have someone taking her on real dates, swooping her off her feet and then life will pass you by. ”
I can’t let my mind wander to thoughts of Baylee falling in love with someone that lights her world the way Clay does for Abby.
Right now, when I see her current boyfriend, all I see is misery reflected in her photos on social media.
She doesn’t seem happy. There’s no light in her eyes.
The Baylee I’ve grown to love is nowhere to be found.
That’s the thing Rios doesn’t seem to recognize about his sister. Maybe his vision is clouded because he’s too focused on keeping me away from her. He wants me away from his youngest sister so badly that he doesn’t see what’s right in front of him.
She doesn’t seem happy; she’s not even dressing like herself anymore. She’s slowly peeling away the layers of who she was to conform into this new version of herself. She’s trying to fit into a mold for someone else.
Baylee had this style about her that I loved. She wore clothes that radiated confidence, it was even palpable through the screen. Now all I see is someone closing herself off in the pictures staring back at me.
Her images were full of life before; they showed someone young, confident and charismatic.
Her smile felt alive, now it looks forced and cold.
Her clothes are uptight and feel as though she’s hiding her skin from the world.
She used to wear dresses and leather jackets with her combat boots, a style that felt uniquely hers.
Now she wears modest outfits reminiscent of a fifties homemaker.
It’s uncharacteristic to the Baylee I know.
Even thinking about it now causes my blood to boil. I push myself off the couch to stand. I think a trip to the gym will fix the anxiety that’s creeping up my spine.
“Listen, I appreciate you wanting what’s best for me, but right now, what I need is to focus on my mom.
These lunch dates and book club are all I can take on.
It’s fine, really. I’m happy with my life the way it is.
And what I have with Baylee is what it is.
We’re in completely different stages of life.
She’s just starting her life and focused on school; while I’m already in my career.
She still has a ways to go to become a physical therapist. I don’t need to get in the middle of all that.
I would only be a distraction to her,” I say as I grab my keys from the coffee table.
“That sounds like an excuse, Malloy. And it sounds like something Rios would say to keep you away from his sister.”
She isn’t wrong, it’s exactly what he said that day when he asked me to take Abby on a date.
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter because nothing is going on. I appreciate you, Abby. You know I love you and this little girl.” I kiss Ella on the head. “I’ll see you later?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’ll try to swing by the station one of these days. I know Clay loves when I swing by with her.”
“Yeah, right. River’s the one that goes crazy for her.” I chuckle as I make my way to the front door. Uncle River will do anything to get Ella to call him “Dada” first, even if she’s barely two months old.
“I know, right? It’s actually pretty cute to see the two of them compete for her love. I don’t mind it.” Abby smiles at her daughter, playing with her dark hair.
I hug my friend one last time, kissing her cheek, then head through the door to the elevator.
As I make my way home, I pull my phone out and scroll through social media.
I still follow Baylee, and a few recent photos pop up on my feed.
The ones with her friends are a little more carefree, but they’re few and far between these days.
I can tell something is wrong, but I can’t pinpoint what the actual problem is.
I close my phone and realize she was never mine, so why am I preoccupying my time worrying about her now?