Chapter 9
I was knee-deep in mid-year reports, lost in thought about holiday break, when Mark strolled into my classroom with Tyler in his arms.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, completely surprised but secretly thrilled.
“Someone missed you,” he replied with that grin that had a way of disarming me.
I glanced up at him, catching the twinkle in his eyes. For a moment, I was tempted to ask which one he meant.
Mark lowered the squirming toddler to the floor, and Tyler quickly took off. I jumped up from my chair just in time to scoop him into my arms, hugging him close to my chest like I hadn’t seen him in days.
“Hello, sweetheart,” I murmured, and Tyler giggled, squeezing me back with all the love a little body could hold.
“We went to visit my parents this morning,” Mark said, his gaze lingering on my navy blue suit like memorizing it. “Since we were in the area, and you told me this was your lunch hour, I thought we’d surprise you and drop by.”
I sat down, settling Tyler on my lap and pulling off his little hat. “You missed your mommy?” I cooed as Tyler bounced on my lap and banged his tiny hand on the desk, his energy contagious.
“How about going out to lunch with us?” Mark suggested, his tone casual but his eyes hinting at something more.
“Sounds tempting,” I grinned, reaching for an ink pen Tyler was about to pop into his mouth.
I pressed my lips to Tyler’s head, feeling a warmth spread through me. Spending a few minutes with them felt more than just appealing—it felt right. I glanced at Mark’s rugged build in those blue jeans, green long-sleeved t-shirt, and bomber jacket, noticing how he seemed to fill the room, his presence wrapping around me like a cozy blanket.
“Come on,” he encouraged, flashing that sexy smile that always made my heart skip a beat.
The three of us together—it felt too much like a family. I hesitated, unsure if I was ready for what that could mean. Mark, noticing my silence, arched a brow.
“Scared to be alone with me, Essence?” he teased, his voice dipping low. “It’s just lunch.”
I straightened up, defenses kicking in like clockwork. “Lead the way, Captain.”
I told myself this was just about spending time with Tyler, nothing more. I returned the hat to Tyler’s head, stood up, lowered him to the floor, and happily dashed across the room.
Mark grinned, clearly enjoying this. “Don’t act tough on my account.”
I rolled my eyes and moved to the closet to grab my coat. “Give it up, Mark.”
He didn’t respond, but the look in his eyes said it all— Not a chance . He wasn’t giving up.
He followed me and Tyler out into the hallway, and I could feel his gaze drop to my backside. I bit back a smile, heat rising to my cheeks, but before anything more could happen, a group of co-workers stepped out from inside the teacher’s lounge and swooped in to see Tyler.
I noticed the speculative sparkle in their eyes as they gave Mark the slow once-over. I sighed inwardly, knowing they’d ask questions about the gorgeous man beside me.
A few glanced between Mark and Tyler, their eyes flickering with curiosity. Mark kept quiet while I proudly showed off my son; I was grateful for that. After telling another teacher on my team that I would grab a bite to eat while my class was in PE, I urged Mark to follow me to the door.
As we neared the exit, Linda, the older woman sitting at the reception desk, stopped us, cooing at Tyler. “I just have to say, you have a gorgeous family.”
“Thank you, Linda,” I replied with pride as Tyler bounced in my arms.
“He has his father’s eyes. You and your husband should be proud,” she said.
I opened my mouth to correct her, but Mark stepped in, smooth as ever.
“We are very proud. Thank you,” he said as if claiming the title.
He ushered me out the door and to his vehicle, the weight of what just happened settling over me. Mark climbed in and drove off after Tyler was fastened in his car seat. Beside him, I was quiet, my mind replaying the scene in the hallway.
“Does what that woman said bother you?” Mark asked, breaking the silence, his tone softer than before.
I shrugged, trying to play it off. “No, it’s a logical assumption. Tyler does look like you.”
“Hair and eyes, maybe, but he reminds me of you.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. “You think so?”
“He’s also good-looking, stubborn, and unaware of what’s happening right before his eyes.”
I turned to stare out my window, a swirl of emotions tugging at me. “I’m aware. I’m just content with my life the way it is. I have a beautiful son and have already begun building a life for us.”
“Won’t you even consider building a life with me?” Mark asked, his voice dipping into something more serious, more vulnerable.
I grinned, turning to look at him, trying to keep it light though my heart was racing. “Mark, you’re beginning to sound like a broken record.”
His fingers gripped the steering wheel, and I could see the frustration building in his eyes. “I have been trying to play it your way for the last few days, but damn! I never thought I’d have to beg a woman to be with me.”
“You don’t have to marry me to be Tyler’s father. This past week has proven that marriage isn’t necessary.”
“It is if he’s my child,” Mark shot back, his tone laced with conviction.
I glanced at him, wondering why he couldn’t leave well enough alone. We had been getting along so well the last few days, and, as usual, he had to push just a little too far. I twisted in my seat to check on Tyler, who was happily chewing on a cracker and making a mess in Mark’s SUV. “I really don’t think Tyler minds.”
Mark had a stony expression on his face when we pulled up at the drive-thru window at Popeyes. When someone came over the intercom asking for his order, he looked at me. “You still like spicy wings, dirty rice, and biscuits with honey?”
I turned my gaze to him in amazement. “How did you remember?”
His lips pursed, his voice lowering as he said, “I told you before that there isn’t much about you that I’ve forgotten.”
Except for me , I thought, watching him place our orders, the weight of his words settling over me, leaving me with more questions than answers.
He pulled up to the cashier and remained quiet as we waited for our food, the silence between us thick, filled with things neither of us was ready to say.
* * *
“I’m not used to a woman turning me down,” I admitted, handing the cashier a twenty-dollar bill. “Rejection is not something I deal with every day.” My voice sounded tight, and I knew it wasn’t just frustration. Underneath it all, it was my ego that took the hit.
Sitting beside me, Essence replied softly, “I almost got married once for the wrong reason.”
Her words caught me off guard, and I turned to her. “You’ve been engaged? When?”
She kept her eyes forward, her voice steady. “He was a guy I was dating before I met you.”
I reached for the bag the cashier handed me and passed it to her. We’d never talked about our past relationships before. I hadn’t asked, and she hadn’t offered—just like I’d never brought up Carmen. “What happened?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.
Essence removed a couple of loose fries from the bag and handed them to Tyler in the backseat. “I was in love, and he wasn’t.”
I pulled away from the drive-thru window and parked at the back of the lot. Once the car was in Park, I turned to face her. “How long were you engaged?”
She let out a small, regretful sigh. “Long enough for my father to announce the prenuptial during one of his sermons.”
“Ouch,” I muttered, imagining the embarrassment. “What was his deal?”
“His wife had died of cancer, leaving him to raise two toddlers. He didn’t want love—just a mother for his sons.”
“That man was a fool,” I said, unable to hold back my reaction.
“No… marrying for the wrong reason is foolish,” she countered, her tone sharp enough to cut.
I felt my temper rise but kept it in check. Was she comparing me to that dude? Was that why she thought marrying me would be a mistake?
“How’d you find out the truth?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
Essence met my gaze, her eyes searching mine like she was trying to figure out if I’d still be around if it wasn’t for Tyler. I knew that was part of her hesitation—part of why she couldn’t see herself marrying me. “I found him in bed with another woman,” she said flatly.
“Bastard,” I muttered, feeling angry on her behalf.
She shrugged, trying to play it off. “He didn’t love me. He was only marrying me for his kids.”
I could hear the hurt she was trying to hide, but it was there, lingering in her voice.
“So, I moved on with my life… and then met you.”
I tossed her a look, leaning in a little closer. “I’m not him.”
Her eyes flared with emotion. “But you want to marry me for the same reason, right?”
“Tyler is a good reason.”
“No, it isn’t,” she shot back. “Clark didn’t love me, so of course he cheated. I’m just glad it happened before we got married. You don’t love me either, so what’s to say it won’t happen again?”
“I’m not him,” I said firmly.
Essence stared at me, her gaze distant, lost in thought. Maybe she was thinking about how things ended between us two years ago. I couldn’t blame her if she was.
After a moment, she took a bite of her fried chicken. “I love their wings,” she said, a smile finally breaking through her serious demeanor.
Hearing happy noises from the back seat, she glanced over her shoulder. “I think somebody is enjoying his fries,” she said with a small laugh, and we shared a brief smile before she looked away.
“How’s it feel, being a father?” she asked, shifting the conversation.
“Scary. Wonderful. Proud,” I replied honestly, a small smile tugging at my lips.
“How so?”
“It’s terrifying to know I’m responsible for someone else’s happiness,” I admitted. “As an army captain, I’m responsible for my troops, but this is different.”
Essence nodded, understanding in her eyes.
“Essence, I want to take you both with me when I leave.”
She was quiet for a few seconds before asking, “Do you know where you’re going?”
“I’m waiting on orders for Ft. Meade.”
She let out a sigh of relief and smiled. “Maryland? That’s not far. You’ll still be close by.”
“But not close enough. I want you to consider coming with me.”
She shook her head, sadness in her eyes. “You don’t love me, Mark. That’s the key here. So, don’t tell me that marriage will make everything magically work out because it won’t.”
“It can if you give it a chance.”
“I am giving you a chance—a chance to build a relationship with your son. I’m not marrying you just so Tyler can change his last name. We can hire an attorney to do that.”
“It’s more than just a name,” I said, frustration creeping into my voice.
Essence was protecting herself, guarding her heart. She’d been hurt once and didn’t trust her feelings enough to take that leap again. And maybe she was right—maybe I didn’t love her. But what I felt for her wasn’t just lust or a memory of the good times we’d had. Even without Tyler in the picture, I would’ve found her again. I wasn’t sure where we stood, but I knew I wasn’t ready to walk away.
“Essence?” I called softly.
She turned and looked at me, her unshed tears hitting me like a punch to the gut.
“Baby, talk to me,” I whispered, reaching out to cup her face gently.
She shook her head. “Mark, please don’t ask me again. I know it would be better for Tyler, but you and I would have to live with that decision—and so would he.”
“Listen to me, Essence,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. But I’m not Clark. I'll mean it if I vow to love, honor, and cherish.” I pressed a finger over her lips. “Shhh. Don’t say any more. I don’t have to like how you feel, but I can accept it.” For now , I added silently. I wasn’t giving up, but I could almost see the thoughts swirling in her eyes—the hesitation, the nervousness.
“Just consider me a full-time father until New Year’s Day,” I said, smiling.
Her expression softened, and she finally found her voice. “Friends then,” she agreed, but the word felt hollow. It wasn’t what either of us really wanted, but it was what we were left with.
I whistled under my breath, trying to lighten the mood. “Well, I’ll be damned; it’s snowing.”
She glanced out the window and smiled. “Yeah, it is.”
“It’s gonna be a white Christmas,” I said, returning her smile.
“Yes, it appears that way.” She glanced at her watch and sighed. “I guess I need to get back.”
I started the car, pulled out of the parking lot, and drove toward the school. Ten minutes later, we pulled up in front of the building.
Essence turned to check on Tyler, who had dozed off with a French fry hanging from his lips.
I turned too, and when I did, her face was right there—just inches from mine. If I moved even a little, our lips would meet. Her rapid breathing and the way her lips were slightly parted told me she was just as caught off guard as I was. Her warm breath brushed over my nose, and my body reacted so quickly that I almost lost control.
“Thank you so much for him,” I finally managed to say, my voice low and soft.
The way her eyes sparkled when she smiled made me tingle all over. “You took part in it, too,” she said.
“Yeah, but I didn’t carry him for nine months. I didn’t go through the pain of bringing him into this world to love him.”
She looked down for a moment, then back up at me, and I couldn’t help myself. I leaned in a little, gently brushing a strand of hair off her face.
“You’re welcome,” she said softly. I could tell she was thinking. “I’ll have to show you the video my sister had taken of Tyler’s birth.”
“I would like that.”
But we were out of time, so she turned away and opened the car door. I was out of the car in an instant, offering my hand. When her fingers slid into mine, I tugged her closer.
“See you this evening,” she whispered.
My gaze swept over her features, taking in every detail. “We’ll be there.”
Just then, a blast of cold wind hit us. Essence tipped her face into it, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. I just stood there, staring at her, completely mesmerized. Her high cheeks were rosy from the cold, her hair tousled by the wind. Her beauty was overwhelming, bringing my senses to life in a way I hadn’t felt in years.
I swore to myself I wouldn’t do it and I would back off, but I couldn’t resist. Just one kiss, that’s all I needed. Essence took my breath away every second, and I needed to feel and taste her. Before I could talk myself out of it, I leaned in and brushed my lips over hers. Instead of pushing me away, she closed the door and grabbed my jacket. It’s all right , I told myself. It’s just a kiss, nothing more. But the moment her lips responded, a shiver of desire raced through me, leaving my limbs trembling with excitement. I deepened the kiss, my tongue teasing her mouth until she gave a tiny, involuntary gasp. When her lips parted, I didn’t hold back. I kissed her harder, my tongue exploring, teasing, tasting. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer, feeling the warmth and softness of her body against mine. The throaty moans escaping me made it harder to think straight. I wasn’t interested in reason. The loneliness of the past two years faded away, and all that mattered was right here, right now.
Her fingers stroked over my face, then slipped behind my head as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I wanted to absorb her, to pull her into me completely. Instinctively, she pressed herself against me, reveling in the heat of my body against hers. Finally, I pulled back only because I knew she needed to return to her classroom. Essence looked confused, just like I felt. Her voice was shaky when she said, “See you later.” With that, she turned and quickly walked back into the school.