Mafo
___________
Yesterday, after my confrontation with Special, I dashed to the restroom and found that my period had started. I had intense cramps last night, but today has been better. I’d rather not bump into Special and rehash yesterday’s drama, explaining it away as hormonal. Honestly, I didn’t mean half of what I said.
Today, I chose to stay in my room, avoiding any encounter with him.
I’ve been tuning in to the movements downstairs.
Midday, Mama Gee returned and checked in on me. I downplayed it, mentioning I was dealing with menstrual cramps. She comforted me, assuring me that the pepper soup she’d send over would help.
It did. As always.
I’ve spent the entire day holed up in my room, binging on the fifth season of a K-Drama, chatting with Evans on the phone—not saying much but just enjoying the sound of how his day is progressing—and scrolling through social media.
Aunty S?epe? popped in a while back, guiding me to where she left my flask of eba and letting me know she didn’t stash all the soup in the fridge. We briefly discuss her day before she settled into a movie, prepping for sleep.
Bored, I decide to go downstairs.
My delay doesn’t pay off because I find him and G-Ben sitting on the couch, watching a football match on TV. Choosing to be indifferent as I make my way to the kitchen, I tightly mutter, “Hey guys, what’s up?”
For some reason best known to my eyes, they land on Special, and I can see he is wickedly grinning, all evidence of yesterday gone. “Oh, just watching the game. You know, something more exciting than your love life.”
Huh? I roll my eyes, darting my gaze to G-Ben who is laughing.
G-Ben playful nudges Special on the shoulder. “Come on, man. Lay off her. You know she’s got a lot on her plate.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Special teases, fixing curious eyes on me. “Busy with her imaginary relationship drama.”
“Oga, my relationship is not imaginary.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. G-Ben, did you know she was in a relationship?”
He negligently replies. “Yeah… Evans.” G-Ben glances at me. “Evans right?”
“Yes. Evans.”
Special raises a surprised eyebrow. “Big girl!”
“Oh, come on, Special. Lay off her.” G-Ben grins, rubbing his beard. “You know she has a right to explore her options.”
“Yeah. She does.”
Seconds later, I get a text message from Special.
New Message from Special
We both know who you really have eyes for.
I dart a quick gaze to G-Ben, he is focused on the TV screen, while Special is acting like nothing is happening. What has gotten into him? If I didn’t know better, I would say he is tipsy or something. But G-Ben wouldn’t allow that in our parent’s house and I can’t smell booze.
Our gaze meets and he smirks.
New Message from Special
I guess the person you were waiting for didn’t come to their senses on time.
What if they’re realizing what they’re missing?
Special is on a roll tonight, making witty remarks and teasing me. I try to hide my smile trying to form from his trouble seeking guise. He’s breaking through the wall I spent almost 24 hours erecting. Oh… I’m so easy. All it’s taking is one cheesy line after the other. I respond; Dream on.
He scoffs, tossing his hands in the air at the game G-Ben is playing with someone online.
New Message from Special
In my dreams, you’re constantly chasing after me
begging me to be with you.
You wish!I snicker gently.
Me:
Only in your dreams.
I walk to the kitchen, fix my plate, and return to the living room.
Sitting on the closest chair, I end up sharing the three-seater with Special. Legs crossed in lotus position, I diligently focus on my meal and phone, stealing quick glances at the screen when the guys make noise.
My phone rings but suddenly stops. I try calling back, but my attempt gets declined and a, I’ll call you right back, message accompanies it. I smile into my phone, licking soup off my fingers.
“So, Fifi,” Special starts and I glance up, “how many times have you spoken to Evans today? I bet it’s like a hundred calls and a thousand messages.”
Can you stop sounding jealous already?“Oh, please. It’s not that much. Just a few calls and a handful of messages.” Do whatever you want with that information.
“Hmm,” he folds his arms, “a few calls and a handful of messages, huh? Sounds serious.”
“We’re serious…” I drawl, rolling my eyes. G-Ben seems zoned out. I wonder if it’s just the game on his mind.
“Sure, sure.” Special twitches his lips to the side. “Getting to know each other… and planning your wedding, I suppose?”
I playfully kick him. “You joke too much. It’s not like that at all.”
“You know, Special,” G-Ben starts, startling me, “you should be happy for her. Evans seems like a great guy.”
Oh… so he was tuned in after all.
Special smirks. “Yeah, I know. I’m just messing with her.”
I hiss, raising my nose in the air. “Joker.”
“Alright, alright,” G-Ben, pleads. “It’s enough with you too, I want to focus on this game.”
“It’s not me oh. It’s—” My phone rings again, cutting me off. It’s the previous caller. “I’m going to take this outside.”
The guys nod, with Special sneaking in a, “Greet him for me oh.”
Briskly dumping my plate in the sink, I step out into the balmy night air.
“Linda! How are you?”
Linda’s enthusiasm matches mine. “Life’s great! What about you?”
“I’m hanging by a thread here. You know how it is with this job-hunting thing.”
“Ugh, tell me about it. It’s such a struggle. But hey, did you hear about Ekene?”
Huh? Ekene? We’ve drifted since graduation. She doesn’t call. I don’t call. Last I saw of her was on Instagram when she posted a picture from a wedding she attended. “Ekene? What about her?”
Linda chuckle-screams-gasps. I don’t know which, but the sound is weird in my ears. “She got accepted into a graduate program in Germany! Can you believe it?”
I can’t! “Wow, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for her. Germany? That’s a big move.”
Excited, Linda continues, “I know, right? She’s always wanted to study abroad…”
I had no clue.
“…and now she’s making it happen. I can’t wait to hear all about her adventures over there.”
A pang of envy threatens to mar my excitement, but I squash it. “Yeah, it must be so exciting for her. Doesn’t she have to learn German?”
Linda makes a clicking sound. “Yes girl! She’s enrolled in a language school now sha. Pending… pending the time she has to apply for a visa.”
“She’ll get it. I’m sure of that one.” A sigh escapes me, as I cross my arm over my tummy. Linda is my G, so I know whatever I say is golden. “You know, I wish I can study abroad too.”
“You never know, Fifi.” Her voice is warm and encouraging. “Maybe someday you will.”
Silence follows her words and I reflect on how Evans has been trotting the world, one country at a time. Maybe we’ll be that power couple traveling together.
“But for now…” Linda’s voice breaks through my reverie. “Let’s focus on finding you a job you love.”
I sigh. “You’re right. I just feel like I’m stuck here, you know? Everyone is moving on and doing great things, and I’m still trying to figure out my next step.”
“What should I say?” Linda scoffs.
“I didn’t mean it that—”
“I get it, Fifi. But we’ll get there. See, you are talented and hardworking, very soon the right opportunity will come your way and all this—these times will be a story of ‘remember when’. Baby girl, mafo.”
“Awwn… Thanks, Linda. I needed to hear that. It’s just frustrating sometimes, you know?”
“I know, but don’t worry. Things will fall into place. And in the meantime, we can live vicariously through Ekene’s adventures in Germany. I will pressure her to always post online, or we can create a WhatsApp group solely for that.”
“Linda, you ehn.” I chuckle, laughing at her antics. “I can’t wait to hear all about it—Oh, and speaking of adventures, guess who’s in Lagos?”
“Who?” Linda’s laughter turns all business as curiosity gnaws at her. “Spill the tea, girl.”
Chuckling, I spill. “Special! He’s visiting Lagos for several things and he’s also spending a few days with us.”
“Special? In your house? How did that happen?”
So full of questions. Whew. My cheeks are growing hot as I confess. “Well, he and G-Ben are still rolling now. And he thought since he had business here, he’d visit.”
“Ooh, Fifi! Is there more to this story than you’re letting on?” she teases.
“More? No, no, it’s nothing like that. He came to do some stuffs.”
“And…”
“We’re just friends now, you know that.” It’s not my place to tell her he’s here for his US Visa interview.
“Uh-huh, just friends.” I can envision her smirking, mocking me.
“Bad belle.”
“Ei! Me?” She inhales deeply and I hear a clapping sound. “Maybe he can help take your mind off job hunting for a bit.”
Hehehe. “What do you think he has been doing? We’ve been going out, catching up.” Chuckling harder, I add, “I’ve not checked my email in like forever just because I want to be happy. Sometimes, I’m just like, if Evans were here, would this be happening? Other times I’m like, Special is so much fun, you know?”
“Ah. Fifi?”
Oops. I walked right into that one.
“I hope—”
“Everything is fine,” I say, forcing a smile and busying my fingers. “Evans knows he is here. We’re cool.”
“Hmm,” she scoffs. “Now I’m wondering if your interaction with him will affect your relationship with Evans.”
Have a little faith in me nau. “What do you mean? It’s not like I specifically told Special to come stay in our—”
“I know.” Linda’s voice is so soft and understanding its painful to listen to. “But you have to admit, him being around you will shake things a bit. And it’s understandable, given your history with him. But you’re in a relationship with Evans now, and I worry that your feelings for Special might cloud your judgment.”
“What judgement?”
She sighs loudly, as though preparing herself to explain a point to a toddler for the umpteenth time. “Fifi, you called me last week questioning your choice of Evans.”
“I did.”
“You said and I quote, “Evans is great and all, but he’s hardly ever here.”
“That’s because I have seen him only a handful of times since we graduated.”
“Really? I didn’t realize it was that bad. I introduced you two because I thought you’d hit it off.”
“Yeah… we have a good rapport.”
“Fifi, you mentioned he was not being physically present.”
Shrugging, I admit, “Well, I mean, he’s always so busy with his startup and all his speaking engagements.”
“And have you talked to him about it?”
“I have.” I say, tensing up. “In the past.”
“Why not now?”
I click my tongue. “I told you; I don’t want to come across as needy or clingy.”
“And now, we have Special in the picture.”
I sigh. “I guess you have a point. It’s just… hard, you know?” Although I care deeply for Evans, I can’t ignore the lingering thoughts and emotions I have for Special. “Special was my first love, and there’s still a part of me that wonders ‘what if’.”
“I get it, Fifi. It’s natural to have those thoughts. But you need to be honest with yourself about how it’s affecting your relationship with Evans. If you’re constantly comparing the two or longing for what you could have with Special, it’s not fair to Evans and to you.”
Linda’s warning sinks in, adding extra layers to the weight of the guilt stemming from my unresolved feelings for Special. Nodding, I press my lips together. “You’re right. I don’t want to hurt him or sabotage our relationship because of my unresolved feelings for Special.”
“Fifi, I know it’s not easy, but you have to figure out what you truly want. If you still have feelings for Special that you can’t shake, it might be best to take some time to sort through them.”
“I’m not trying to hurt anyone. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially not Evans.” I sigh, releasing my tensed muscles. The internal conflict within me intensifies, and I know I must confront it head-on before it causes serious complications in my relationship with Evans. “I’ve thought about taking time off to think my feelings through.”
“Talk to me, Fii.”
I know I need time to figure where I stand, but… “Won’t I look childish by withdrawing myself and taking out time to think?”
“Hmm mh. It’s the most mature approach, Fifi.”
I smile. “Hmm, thank you.”
“Don’t mention. Just remember, I’m here for you no matter what you decide. And if you need to talk or vent, I’m just a phone call away.”
“Thanks, Linda. I appreciate your honesty and support. I’ll do my best to figure things out and make the right decision for everyone involved.”
“Correct babe. Abeg, don’t let Special bamboozle you with his puppy eyes and jovial words,” she teases.
“But I can’t lie,” I chuckle, “it’s been good having him around, that’s for sure.”