Chapter 31
Billie
As the end of the semester draws closer, I’m swamped with all things school and final projects, most of them tied to my job at the diner.
The thing is, it doesn’t feel like work most of the time.
It’s so much fun to be at the restaurant, working with Nita, learning the ropes, and finishing my schoolwork at the same time.
My only regret is not having much time with Rome.
There’s a game tonight, though, and it’s a big one. They’re up three games to two in a seven-game series, so if they win, they move on to the second round. I’m excited to be sitting with the other wives and girlfriends, even though I can’t talk about my relationship with Rome.
I’d almost convinced myself to talk to Bodi about it but these games are too important to put the guys at odds.
And for the first time since he got to L.A.
, Rome seems to be settling in. From what I’ve read, the general consensus is that he’s playing his best hockey in a couple of years, seems focused, and has been hanging out with Marty, Canyon, and a few of the others.
He and Bodi not so much but I think that’s more about the age difference than anything else.
The younger guys party hard sometimes and Rome isn’t about that life anymore, so it makes sense that he’s more comfortable with the older, more settled guys on the team.
I think the girls suspect something, though. Athena knows everything, but she’s here with her mom tonight, so I’ve been careful to keep the conversation completely related to school, work, and hockey.
“Will you keep living with Bodi when the season is over?” Saylor asks between periods.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “There’s so much up in the air. We don’t know if Rome will get an extension on his contract and I certainly don’t want to put him out, though I think he’ll want to move even if he stays in L.A.”
I catch a weird look Mrs. Castellano and Athena share, with Athena giving a firm shake of her head, but I try to ignore them.
“I thought you and Rome were a couple?” Ally asks in confusion.
I nearly groan when Saylor says, “Wait—you’re not?”
“Oh. Um, no,” I say quickly. “We’re friends and roommates right now, but that’s all.” Fuck, I hate lying like this.
“Oh. Okay.” Stevie looks confused, and I send her a pleading look because I feel like she knows something I don’t know she knows.
“You guys know my brother would lose his mind if I started dating one of his teammates,” I say, hoping that’s a big enough hint to make them drop it.
“But you’re a grown-up,” Ally says. “Why would?—”
“Grown-up stuff is complicated,” Saylor interrupts, quickly silencing her.
“But Uncle Canyon says the men on this team are some of the best men he’s ever known,” she presses. “Why doesn’t Bodi like them?”
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” I say since this topic obviously isn’t going away.
“Our parents were killed when we were fifteen and eighteen so Bodi sort of finished raising me. He stepped up to the plate so I wouldn’t have to go into foster care and I think sometimes he forgets that I’m grown up now.
That’s all. He loves his teammates, but you also have to remember that Bodi’s only been here a year.
He doesn’t know everyone that well yet. It takes time to forge those kinds of relationships. ”
Luckily, this gives them the perfect opportunity to talk about how important tonight’s game is and what everyone is doing to make life at home as easy as possible for the guys. I feel a little guilty because I’m not doing anything for Bodi and Rome, but it’s also different for me.
Since Bodi can’t know we’re a couple, it’s not like I can run a bath for Rome when he gets home or something like that.
They already have a cleaning service, they split the tasks of dropping off and picking up dry cleaning, and they even ride to the airport together when they travel.
They’re a pretty well-oiled machine when it comes to the basics, so there’s not much I can add to the equation.
It'll be different when Rome and I officially become a couple.
So I listen attentively, trying to wrap my head around the things these ladies do for the hockey players in their lives. And it’s a lot. I won’t have time to do all that if I’m working sixty hours a week for Nita.
Suddenly I need a little air, and I excuse myself to the restroom.
Instead, I wander around the concourse, buy a glass of wine, and sip it as I lean against a wall.
“Hey. Whatcha doin’?” Athena comes over to me with a curious smile.
“Having some wine. Chillin’ out for a minute.”
She cocks her head. “Did the conversation about being a hockey wife scare you?”
“A little. Just because I’m so caught up in my own thing… I don’t know how I’d do those things for Rome.”
She smiles. “He’s a grown-ass man who can take care of himself. You’re an adult with your own life and career. Yes, you have to be there for each other. I can’t imagine saying you have to work on the night of game seven of the Stanley Cup finals when your husband is playing…”
“Oh, of course. I just mean day-to-day life. Listening to everything they do… it’s daunting.”
“Most of them either don’t work, don’t have children, or have flexible schedules.”
“I don’t even know if I want kids,” I say. “It’s nowhere on my radar.”
“Have you and Rome talked about that?”
“Not in any detail. We’re focused on the now, you know? Getting to know each other and trying to get through the season without upsetting the Bodi apple cart.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“No. I’m just overwhelmed. And the secrecy doesn’t help. I’m scared because…” I hesitate but Athena and Nita are truly the only people I can talk to right now.
“Because?”
“Because I love both of them. Bodi is annoying but he’s my brother, the person I trust the most in the world. No matter how mad he is or how badly I fuck up, he’ll be there for me.”
“And you don’t know Rome well enough to trust him yet.”
“It’s not even that. It’s just different. No matter what happens, Bodi will always be my brother. Rome could move to his cabin in New York tomorrow and forget all about me.”
“If you’re worried about that, you need to talk to him.”
“Not during the playoffs.”
“I love my brother dearly, but historically, he hasn’t been an easy man to love.
I don’t blame him for his divorces but he wasn’t innocent either.
And one thing I know he was guilty of was lack of communication.
Don’t make that mistake. Make sure you talk.
Especially the difficult conversations, because if you can’t open up to him now, how are you going to navigate the bad times that happen in life?
That’s what this whole thing with your brother is, and no one knowing where they’re going to be in a few months…
it’s a lot. Don’t let life overwhelm your feelings for each other.
And that’s all I’m going to say about that. ”
She’s right, and I’m still thinking about it afterward when we head down to the family lounge to help them celebrate winning the first round. The couples all greet each other warmly, hugging and kissing, and someone is serving champagne.
“Great game,” I tell Bodi, hugging him.
He grins. “It was. I’m so fuckin’ pumped. We have tomorrow off, so a bunch of us are going out.” He pauses. “Do you want to come?”
“Uh, no. I have class tomorrow, and then work. But thanks for inviting me!”
That’s sort of a lie since there is a class tomorrow, but I don’t have to be there. It’s basically free time to consult with our professor about our final project, and I don’t need any help. In fact, for that class, my project is essentially done.
Bodi forgets all about me the moment Blake shows up and everyone starts making plans to go out.
I’m just waiting for Rome. If Bodi is going out tonight, that means we’ll have a little time alone.
Unless he’s going out too?
I have to stop being so timid. That’s never been my personality and I’m not going to start now because I’m falling in love with a closed-off, somewhat broody hockey player. If he gets mad that I miss him and want to spend time together, then maybe he’s not the man I think he is.
“Hey.” I walk up to him as soon as he comes into the room.
“Hey, beautiful.” His voice is low and there’s pleasure in his eyes.
“You looked incredible out there,” I say. “When you flattened that guy in the third period, it was fucking gorgeous.”
“I enjoy doing that when I can get away with it.”
We chuckle.
“Listen.” I look around to make sure no one is close to us. “Bodi’s going out tonight, which means we have at least an hour or two to be alone. Are you going too?”
He hesitates. “I need to at least go have a beer. I’m finally getting invited to go with them—it’s important to show them that I’m one of them.”
“Will it be just a beer?” I counter quietly. “Because I miss you. And I need some attention too. I know it’s the playoffs but when I was running around between school and work, I still made time for you while you weren’t playing.”
“Is something wrong?” he asks automatically.
“No. I just…need you.” I search his face. “Need you to touch me. Hold me. Remind me of our bond, because all this sneaking around is draining.”
“Baby, I’m sorry.” There’s a flicker of guilt in his eyes. “And yes, I promise. One beer. An hour, tops. Then I’ll be home.”
“Okay.”
I turn and walk away like it’s no big deal because I know people are watching.
And it sucks.