Chapter 47
“I’m not going to lie, it sucks,” Layla tells me over coffee.
I had just gotten off work when she came into the restaurant earlier, and we got to talking.
I told her what’s been going on with my family, and she invited me for coffee.
If anyone can relate, it’s her—she lost both of her parents, who she was very close to, a few years back in a car accident.
“But it sounds to me like you’re being pretty positive about it.
Hold onto that. Try to focus on the time you do have together. ”
“Definitely. It’s just going to be hard because they’ll be traveling a lot.”
She nods thoughtfully. “How is Jessica taking it?”
“Very well, actually. I really wasn’t sure how it was going to go over.”
“That’s great. And hey, if you ever need help with pickups or watching her or anything, we’d be happy to help. Jackson has a little crush, I think.”
“Thank you.” I give her an appreciative smile. “I’m sure she’d love that. I know we’ve been a little busy lately and haven’t seen a lot of you guys.”
She waves her hand at me. “It’s ok. But speaking of…how is Jameson doing with all of it? Supportive? You guys have been spending a lot of time together, right?” She grins at me now, a twinkle in her eye.
“We have. But, uh…I haven’t told him about all this yet.” He’s been sending me concerned texts over the past couple of days, and I’ve been short with him. I just don’t know what to say…that I’m falling apart? That I can’t handle things on my own?
Her brows crease. “Why not?”
I shrug. “I don’t know?” I look at her as if she might provide the answer to my absurdity.
“You like him, right?”
“Yes. Of course. Yes.”
“Well, from what you’ve told me, it seems like you guys are getting pretty serious…taking care of him when he was sick…”
“Yeah…it felt that way. Feels that way,” I correct myself. “If he’s not mad at me for flaking on him like this.”
“I doubt it. It’s only been a couple of days. And once you tell him,” she emphasizes the word like it’s an order, “he’ll completely understand. I know it. But you need to do it. If you want it to last, you can’t keep big secrets.”
“You’re right.” I take a sip of my coffee. My non-fall coffee. It’s gingerbread flavored, and honestly, it’s kind of refreshing. I was getting burnt out on pumpkin everything.
“So, have you seen Ethan’s videos blowing up online? I knew he could play guitar, but I didn’t know he could sing like that.”
“I did not see that. I guess I’ve been a little preoccupied.” Ethan was the other groomsman from the wedding. He grew up here and went to school with Dex and Liam, and I’ve met him a few times over the years when he’s in town visiting. Nice guy.
“I thought he was a veterinarian, not a musician?” I ask.
“Musicians in his free time, I guess. Plus, did you know veterinarians statistically have, like, a way higher rate of depression and suicide than other professions? So maybe this will be good for him.”
“Yeah, maybe. I didn’t know that.”
“Kylie is really going to regret not pursuing him at the wedding now,” she says with a laugh.
**
I’m going to text Jameson tonight. I am.
But before I do, I decide to make a phone call I’ve been dreading.
My dad already gave me full permission to call her and fill her in—not that she needs to know what’s going on with him—but I’d rather tell her than have her hear it from someone else and call me up, blaming me for not telling her and making it about herself, as usual.
“Carly?” She answers, sounding surprised. I wonder why. “Well, it’s been long enough.” Her tone drips with accusation. I could point out that the phone works both ways, but she’d just get defensive, and I don’t want to listen to that right now.
“Yeah. How are…things?” I try to act casual, but it ends up awkward and disjointed.
“Oh, fabulous. I just got back from a trip with my boyfriend. It was wonderful. So warm and sunny.”
Sounds terrible.
She goes into more details about the trip, and I wait for an opening to change the subject. It’s hard.
“That’s great for you guys,” I finally cut in after a pause on her end. Still no questions about her granddaughter or any of us. “Listen. I was actually calling to talk to you about something.”
“Oh. Well, what is it?”
“It’s about Dad.”
“Oh gosh, what did that oaf get himself up to now? Did that girlfriend of his finally leave him? I don’t blame her. He’s so boring.”
“No, Ella did not leave him. They’re great.”
“I’m sure.”
“He has cancer and he’s starting treatment soon. They caught it early and have high hopes for a full recovery. I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else and then be mad at us for not telling you, so I’m telling you now.”
“Oh. Well, I wish him the best.” Maybe it’s the part of me that’s completely jaded when it comes to her, but it feels like there’s no sympathy in her voice. It’s robotic.
“Yep. Anyway, that’s all.”
“Really? So, you didn’t call to see how I’m doing or anything? You just wanted to drop that news on me and hang up? Like that’s not going to upset me?”
“Well, to be honest, you’re not really close to him, I was just letting you know as a courtesy. We’re still processing this ourselves. I have a ten-year-old who thinks the world of him and is pretty scared, so I’m sorry if you’re feeling upset. I’m glad you have your boyfriend to lean on.”
“I have to go,” she says, short and snappy.
“Okay, bye.” I barely get it out before she hands up.
“World’s most caring mother, everybody,” I mutter to myself. I should be more worked up, but I don’t waste my energy on her anymore. I quit wasting my energy on people who wouldn’t give me a second thought long ago.