Chapter 26 #2
He held his wrist out to me like an offering. I glanced up at his face to see his brow slightly furrowed as he studied me. “You’re worried about me.”
It wasn’t a question, but at the same time, it was. I took his wrist, my eyes narrowing into a glare as I pressed my fingers against his artery. “Quit lookin’ so surprised that I care about what happens to you,” I parroted back the words he’d said to me in Nemo’s spare room.
He huffed a laugh, a smirk curling across his lips as he repeated my words back to me, “I will when you quit glarin’ at me.”
I tried to keep glaring, but my smile ruined it. His heart rate was elevated but not dangerously so.
“Am I gonna live?” he deadpanned.
“Unfortunately.” I released his wrist, warmth creeping into my chest at his chuckle.
“You feelin’ ready to go back?” he asked. “I wanted to show you somethin’ before we left.”
As we neared the clinic, I stared in confusion at the chaos outside.
My whole crew was there chatting with Wolf’s crew.
Griz and Sam were holding rakes and standing beside giant piles of dead brush by the empty patch next to the clinic.
Wolf and Raven were taking measurements, and Kai wrote down the numbers they shouted.
“What is happening?” I asked, glancing up at Mac.
“Well, I know Trey was planning on fixing up the garden for you this spring, and it just so happened Nemo found some polycarbonate sheets Madame had dumped in one of the storage rooms. So, I thought I’d look into building a little greenhouse to go with the garden.
We got some more polycarbonate on our last trip and—uh, you okay? ”
I’d stopped halfway up the hill, biting my cheek hard as I willed my expression to stay steady. “You’re buildin’ me a greenhouse?” I managed to ask.
“If you want one.” He frowned, his eyes suddenly uncertain.
I remembered him sitting next to my bed in Nemo’s spare room and reading a book about greenhouses; I wanted to ask him if he’d decided to build one before or after that moment, but I wasn’t brave enough.
“I’d love a greenhouse,” I choked out.
“Why are you blocking me?” he asked in a low voice, stepping sideways like he was shielding me from the others.
I blinked. I wasn’t trying to block him, just trying to keep from bursting into tears. “I’m blocking you?”
He nodded, and I tried to relax my grip on myself. Immediately, tears started sliding down my face, and I huffed in frustration. His eyes widened.
“Why are you crying?” His voice grew more worried.
“I’m not,” I tried to protest, tears sliding down my face.
His eyebrows raised, but one corner of his mouth lifted.
“I’m not… I’m not sad ,” I fumbled to explain. “I don’t know why I’m cryin’.”
Emotion filled his eyes. “Happy tears?”
“Is that a thing?” I swiped at my face, desperately trying to stop.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Yeah, it’s a thing.”
“What’d Mac do now?” Sam asked with a grin, appearing beside Mac.
He was already in his tactical gear and looked happier than I’d seen him in a long time.
“He’s buildin’ me a greenhouse,” I said, still trying to wrap my head around it.
“You mean we’re building you a greenhouse,” Sam scowled, crossing his arms. “I refuse to let Mac get all the credit.”
I let out a watery laugh, and Sam threw his arm around my shoulders, pulling me up the hill.
“C’mon, I’ll show you what we’re planning.”
They left a couple hours later. I made Sam promise to be careful so many times that by the end, he shouted, “Okay, Mom!” After the gate closed behind them, I didn’t move, trying to convince myself I wasn’t on the edge of panicking.
“Ember?’
I glanced up to see Nemo. He offered me a smile that I attempted to return.
“We’ve been working on turning the Pit into a nice space for folks to hang out, and it’s finally finished. So I was thinkin’ we could have the first bonfire tonight after supper. I hope you’ll consider joining us.”
“Oh, um, I’ll think about it,” I responded, and he smiled and moved on to tell the others.
“A party, huh?” Lee appeared at my side and draped his arm around my shoulders.
“I guess,” I said, slightly distantly.
“What, you don’t like parties?” he teased.
“I’ve never been to one.”
“Well, it’s settled; you’re comin’ tonight.”
I raised my eyebrows and finally focused on him. He was grinning widely.
“I should probably stay at the clinic.”
“Why? So you can sit in there and worry about Sam?”
I crossed my arms and glared at him.
“C’mon, Freckles, it’ll be fun,” he coaxed.
“What’ll be fun?” Wolf inserted himself, his eyes narrowing on Lee’s arm around my shoulder.
“The bonfire tonight!” Lee didn’t seem bothered by Wolf’s glare in the slightest. “Help me convince Freckles to go and not sit at home and sulk.”
“You should come, Em,” Wolf said, his eyes earnest. “We’re all gonna go.”
I wavered. I didn’t want to sit at the clinic by myself, but I also didn’t have any of my crew to be a social buffer.
“You know Apple will lose her mind,” Lee added, and I couldn’t argue with that.
It was a busy day at the clinic. An illness was going around the little kids and the older folks, keeping me working constantly.
I had to admit it was helpful to have Sable organize people, check vitals, and handle any minor issues.
He didn’t speak to me unless necessary, but he was polite and calm when he did. I tried to ignore the guilt.
I wished Kai was giving me the silent treatment, but unfortunately, he expressed his anger over my treatment of Sable by constantly making little needling comments that set my teeth on edge.
“Oh so you do know how to say ‘thank you,’” he said after I thanked Leda for bringing me some fresh herbs.
“You’re good at lying, can't you at least pretend to be nice?” he asked after I responded curtly to a tearful mother’s heartfelt thanks.
The day passed quickly, though, and soon the supper bell rang.
I reluctantly joined Wolf’s crew, heading to the canteen.
Lee immediately threw his arm around me again, and I’d never admit it, but it strangely helped ease my nerves.
Apple came flying down the path when she saw us and, as Lee predicted, lost her mind when I told her I was going to the bonfire.
She had to run back and tell all the kids, who shrieked and ran around like wild things until Leda finally corralled them into a line again.
I took my regular seat at our table and then realized if everyone did the same, I’d be the only person on the table’s far side.
I hesitated, but Lee immediately sat beside me, and Wolf sat on my other side.
Scar sat across from me in Wolf’s usual spot, and Sable, Kai, and Tuck took their usual seats.
Apple wedged between me and Lee, and I was grateful because she happily filled any silences.
I nibbled at my food. The absence of my entire crew hit me hard.
Three nights alone with Wolf and his crew felt like an insurmountable obstacle.
“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” Wolf asked when we stood to head to the Pit.
My stomach churned, but I nodded, and we both fell back a little from the rest of his crew.
“I wanted to apologize,” he said in a low voice, and I glanced at him in surprise. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did to you not knowing what was goin’ on in the world. It wasn’t your fault, and I’m sorry if I made you…feel shitty.”
“It’s okay,” I said automatically.
“It’s not okay,” he corrected, but he didn’t sound mad.
I didn’t answer, unsure of what to say to that.
“I also wanted to apologize for all the shit I said when you first told me you’d been with the Reapers. I was out of line. I said some really fuckin’ awful things to you, and I’m so sorry, Emmy.”
I kept my gaze on the path ahead as we walked, my fists clenched tightly at my sides.
“Mom would?—"
“No!” I finally looked at him, the word bursting out of me in panic. “Don’t. It’s fine. I forgive you.”
“Em—"
“Please, Wolf. I can’t—” I swallowed hard. “Can we not talk about this right now?”
He was quiet for so long that I glanced at him. He was frowning at me, but he looked sad.
“Alright,” he said in a low voice. “But later, okay?”
I nodded, relieved, and wrapped my arms around myself. If this was indicative of how these three nights were going to go, I was fucked.
My stomach tied itself in a knot as we approached the pine trees surrounding the Pit.
I hadn’t been here since the night I jumped in the Pit with Brimstone, and it was affecting me more than I’d expected.
When we stepped through the trees, I came to an abrupt halt.
The Pit was gone entirely…filled in and leveled out.
In the middle of the area was a bonfire.
Nemo and Smith and several other people were standing around it, admiring their work.
The area around the fire pit had many log benches for seating and lanterns hung on poles.
It looked lovely and peaceful—as if the brutal murders that occurred here were nothing more than a bad dream.
My fingernails bit into the palms of my hands as I stared at the fire pit, remembering the horrible crack when Brimstone snapped that man’s neck like a twig, Sky’s freezing fingers clutching my shirt, the terror she exuded, the realization that I was dying as Brimstone’s hands squeezed my throat?—
“You makin’ escape plans, or are you actually stickin’ around for once?” Kai asked as he passed, and I forced my feet to move.
No one else seemed bothered, but I scanned the group for Sky and wasn’t surprised when I didn’t see her. I wondered if anyone else here had ever seen one of the sentencings. From what I gathered, most decent people said their goodbyes to those sentenced beforehand and didn’t attend the event.
I sat on one of the logs beside Wolf and rubbed my arms. Nemo and a few others had pulled out some musical instruments and played them quietly from a corner. Apple bounced between us and the other kids as they played hide and seek.