Chapter 29 Lane
I glance at my phone, checking the clock for the hundredth time.
I’m waiting for Adam to swing by, and I’m already regretting saying yes to us taking just the one car.
I could have been on the road already, instead of pacing around my apartment waiting for my ride.
My eyes keep drifting back to the corner where her stuff used to be—I still can’t believe the disappearing act Lois pulled.
It’s been two weeks since she left. When I woke up and noticed her bags were gone, it just made me even madder at her. She came crashing into my life, turned it all upside down, and then just vanished overnight. Who does that?
My phone beeps—Adam. I grab my jacket and stop in my tracks when I realize the spare key is still right where Lois left it. I take a deep breath in, and hit the stairs.
Adam needs me to help him out, and I’ve been distant with my friends the past few weeks: today I’m going to make sure I don’t project my negative energy onto him.
I haven’t told the guys what happened with Lois, but they definitely know something’s up.
I bet they all heard she’s staying at Becca’s.
I know that’s where she is, because the moment I realized she was gone, I did the only thing I could think of—I called Carter.
When he asked me what had happened, I hung up on him.
I recognize the sound of Adam’s engine running, and stride down the sidewalk, slipping in beside him and leaning the passenger seat back a little so I can stretch out.
“Good to see you, man!” He pulls out into the street. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much.”
“Thanks for helping me out. Don and Lewis have so many practices and games right now, it’s a lot.”
I don’t know how those two have the energy, and I’m pretty jealous they have something so all-consuming to keep themselves distracted.
I brush my hair back. “This is like their Super Bowl.”
“Facts.”
“So—what’s first on the list?”
“Let’s swing by the mall and grab the decorations.”
“What did Lewis pick for this year’s theme?”
“It’s my turn to choose, thank fuck. He tried to bully me into a Mad Max vibe, so I’m leaning more toward glittery unicorn feels.”
I snicker. “I’m team Mad Max.”
“Not happening.”
It feels good to laugh. We pull up outside the mall and climb out, strolling through the parking lot in comfortable silence, him whistling nonchalantly, sneaking me the occasional look.
“What?”
“Nothing. You look like you’re running on empty, that’s all.”
Makes sense. My sleep has gone to shit, ever since—
“Lois!”
I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Adam shrieking. How did he know what I was thinking? I glance at him. He’s waving a hand, staring straight ahead. Slowly, I turn to follow his gaze, nearly tripping over my own feet.
“What the fuck is this?” I mutter.
We’re so close, I could swear I just saw Lois mouth the exact same thing, and I’m wondering whether this is the weirdest coincidence ever when Adam sets me straight with a single sentence.
“Ready to get your confetti on?”
Something in his tone makes me realize he planned this whole situation.
What is he doing?
I wish I could drag my eyes away from her—but I can’t.
After the initial shock, a whole wave of confusing, conflicting feelings comes crashing over me.
I take in her curves, my eyes drifting up to her face.
She’s staring at Adam, a horrified expression on her face—she didn’t know I would be here, either.
She turns to look at me, and when our eyes meet, I suppress a shiver.
“Hey.”
I nod in reply. Her voice is polite. Flat. Worlds away from how she sounded with me before. It should suit me just fine—so why am I so triggered?
Adam loops his arm through hers and leads her into the store as I follow, watching Lois whisper in his ear. Those two clicked from the get-go, and seeing them so close and friendly is setting my teeth on edge.
Inside the store, I clutch the cart to keep my hands busy.
“What do you think, Lane?”
I look up. Adam is waving two different pinatas at me.
“A fucking pinata?” I snort. “How old are you guys—five?”
He sighs. “Lois?”
“The green one.”
“Lewis hates green,” I snap.
Lois glares at me. “Guess he’ll do a great job of smashing it up, then.” She says it like she’s imagining caving in my skull with a baseball bat.
“Green it is!” Adam beams.
“Remind me again—why I am here?”
“My thoughts exactly,” Lois mutters, before dipping off to the right.
I sigh. “Gonna be a long fucking day.”
I don’t know whether I’m imagining things, but it’s like my friend is enjoying stretching the shopping expedition out as long as possible.
The atmosphere is icy, but he doesn’t seem to care.
I can’t stop rolling my eyes, and it’s the same for Lois: when we spot each other doing it, we exchange a quick smile, a split second of softness that evaporates as soon as Lois catches herself and shuts it down again.
Before today, I was still so pissed at her.
But I’ve spent the past two weeks without her, and I suddenly feel tired and guilty in equal measures.
“Cups.”
Adam points to somewhere behind me, and I stretch out a hand without looking, my fingers closing around something soft and warm.
I glance down. I’ve caught Lois’s hand by mistake, and as she tries to shake loose, I can’t help but tighten my grip.
She blinks a few times, breathing hard. I watch as she frowns, defiance glinting in her eyes, before she drifts over to a stack of cups, my hand still in hers as she reaches out to grab them.
She yanks harder. “Let go.”
“You first,” I shoot back.
“He asked me to grab them.”
“Nope, he asked me.”
Neither of us is willing to back down. I’m stronger than her, and though it wouldn’t take much for me to overpower her, I don’t want to let go.
“Guys, I need two hundred of ’em. You can both grab a few.” Adam glances back and forth between us, smiling.
Lois breaks free from me with a sudden jerk, scurrying away with her stash.
At the checkout, my fingers brush hers with every item I lift out of the cart. What are you doing, Lane? Just an hour ago, I was raging. Now I can’t even remember why I was ever mad in the first place—the same old roller-coaster ride I’ve been on since we met.
“We need to pick up some booze,” Adam says, swinging open his trunk. “We’ll get the rest the day before, once we know exactly how many people are coming.”
“Lewis always invites people at the last minute,” I remind him, holding out a bag.
“Absolute disgrace, dude,” Lois mutters.
I bite back a laugh. It’s like she’s always been part of our family, and the realization cuts me to the core—things wouldn’t be the same without her.
Shit, I hadn’t realized just how much I’ve missed her.
Don’t forget what she did, though. She made herself at home, taking space that was never hers to take, finding my chinks, cracking them open.
I slam the trunk shut, slip into the passenger seat, and fasten my belt while Adam swings open the door. I listen as Lois clears her throat.
“Sorry, Adam, but I need to head out. I’m meeting up with someone…”
Who?
“And since Lane is here”—she leaves the sentence dangling in the air—“you guys don’t really need me.”
Why do I want so badly to tell her she’s wrong?
“Your call. Can you come help decorate on the twenty-eighth, though?”
She shifts from foot to foot. “Yeah, sure. I said I would.”
“And you’ll be there for the party?”
I can make out the warmth in Adam’s voice but not her reply, and while I should just keep focusing on my feet, I can’t help but look up and watch her walk away down the parking lot, wishing so hard she would glance back one last time. Turn around, Lois.
When she vanishes behind a pickup, I let out a sigh.
I stare at Adam as he reverses out. “You proud of yourself?”
“Are you?”
“Did she say anything?” I know I shouldn’t ask, but I can’t help it.
“No, you know what she’s like—Lois never spills her guts. You’re the only one who really knows what’s going on in that head of hers.”
There are a million things Adam could’ve said, but this—this right here is the hardest to hear.
“You should talk to her.” He glances at me, concerned.
“It’s kind of complicated, man. She did something, and I’m really pissed about it…”
At least, I think I am. The weird thing is that now I’ve seen her again, I don’t feel so sure. I’m still mad—but I’m not so sure it’s her I’m mad at.
We stock up on booze, and Adam drives me home, leaving me alone with my thoughts in my empty apartment. I spend the next ten minutes staring at my couch, playing back all the times Lois made me feel glad I wasn’t alone.
I drag out a stool, settle down behind the kitchen island, and turn on my laptop, pulling up a new document and letting my fingers loose on my keyboard.
I need to get these past few months down on paper, starting with the morning Lois fell asleep on my couch.
Maybe seeing it all written down in black and white will give me some perspective. Or maybe not.
I SIT ON THE FLOOR against the front door, drafting the lines, deleting them, reworking and rewriting over and over.
I’ve been on this new screenplay for a week, and while I started out strong, I’ve been stuck on the same scene for days now—the part where Lois stepped into Mike’s room and everything went wrong.
The screen strain is making my eyes burn. I can’t even bring myself to read back over what I just wrote. It feels like none of it makes sense—like I’m missing something just beyond my reach.
I want to just stand up and throw my laptop out the window, but every time I’m about to give up, something pushes me on.
Suddenly, three loud bangs come pounding above my head. I push the laptop to the side, and open the door to find Carter standing there, frowning at me.
“You going to level with me, or what?”