14. Gwen
CHAPTER 14
GWEN
I find the key to Silas’s house under the pot of flowers on the front porch, right where he said it would be. I immediately add it to my ring so I won’t lose it. He promised me Dove wouldn’t bite me when I show up by myself. I hope he’s right. I don’t want to add a dog attack to my list.
Here goes nothing…
Turning the key in the lock, I ease the door open and find Dove standing there, wagging her tail. “Hey, Dove. I’m Gwen. How are you, pretty girl?” I lean over and rub the sides of her face while she breathes her stinky breath in my face. “Sheesh.” I wave my hand in front of her. “Your daddy needs to give you some breath mints.” I find her leash on a hook just as Silas explained. “Want to go for a walk, pretty girl?” Her tail wags vigorously with excitement as I fasten the hook onto her collar and then grab a waste bag. “Let’s get you outside.”
I tuck my keyring in my pocket and close the door behind me. We move down the porch steps and make our way along the driveway to the sidewalk. Silas said to take her around the block, but I’m going to make sure I give her a nice long walk. It’s the least I can do in exchange for his help.
Dove is fantastic about being on a leash. She doesn’t pull at all, which is good because she’s a decent sized dog and could probably take me for a ride if she wanted to.
“I bet you miss your daddy when he’s at work. I hope this walk makes your day pass faster. Maybe we can help each other. You seem like a great listener, and I could use someone to talk to. It’s not that I don’t have people to confide in. It’s just difficult to share some of the stuff that’s been going on with me. But telling you is a win-win. You have to listen and you can’t tell anyone else. No wonder why so many people have dogs.”
Dove stops to pee, and I look around the quiet street. There’s a mix of old and new homes with neatly kept yards. It’s not at all how I imagined Silas’s neighborhood looking. I pictured him living in a downtown condo in the thick of the city. He’s still young and he’s single. A lot of guys in his situation would want to be near the nightlife.
“Your daddy is a great man. Did you know he rescued me from a dangerous situation? He keeps surprising me with just how kind he really is. Maybe he’ll single handedly restore my faith in the male species.”
We keep going until my shirt is soaked with perspiration and then we turn and start the trek back.
“So, Dove, I think I have a crush on your daddy. No, I do have a crush on him. How do you feel about that? Am I silly for thinking I have a chance with him?” Dove turns her head, looking at me with her soulful eyes. I release a sigh. “I know he’s twelve years older than me. He probably thinks I’m too young for him. Actually, he probably doesn’t think of me at all. I’m only a student to him.” I kick a stone with the toe of my sneaker and it rolls down the sidewalk in front of me.
“How do I get him to notice me as a woman and not the damsel in distress he first met?”
We return to the house before I get any answers out of my new friend. I make sure Dove has plenty of water like Silas instructed. He also mentioned giving her a treat, so I grab one and pass it to her. Then I pull another from the jar and hold out my hand. She gently takes the peanut butter bone from my palm, and I tell her, “You get an extra one for being such a great listener.” With a final pat on her soft head, I leave, locking the door behind me.
“Five more, let’s go.” Silas pushes me to do five more swings with the kettlebell. “You got this.”
Four-three-two-and… one. I count the reps down in my head. I finish and drop the ten-pound kettlebell onto the mat between my legs.
“Excellent. Now quickly pick up the medicine ball and give me twenty slams.” He claps to get me moving. “Right away.” He rushes me and doesn’t allow for more time than I need just to catch my breath.
The hard rubber medicine ball weighs twelve pounds, and by the time I’ve raised it up over my head with both hands and driven it down into the floor four times, I’m ready to quit.
“Keep pushing!” Silas shouts his encouragement. “Six more to go.” And he never seems to lose count either.
“Damn.” I throw the medicine ball into the mat for my last repetition and leave it there. “That was exhausting.” I bend over and place my hands on my knees, taking in large gulps of air.
“One minute rest and then start again.”
“All of it?”
“All of it.” He smirks at me. “Three more rounds.” He hands me a bottle of water. “Take small sips.”
I do as he instructs, even when I think it’s beyond my capability.
And even when I think he might be trying to kill me.
My minute-long rest passes in what feels like less than thirty seconds and then I find myself back on the floor, doing ten push ups. After this it’ll be ten body weight squats, followed by ten sit-ups. And then it’s back to the kettlebell and medicine ball. It’s like an endless cycle of torture.
“Keep at it,” Silas encourages as he notices me slowing down. “You’re doing great.”
Fifteen minutes later I’m lying flat on the mat, covered in sweat and gasping for breath like a fish out of water.
“That was fantastic.” He praises my effort.
“I’ll have to take your word for it. I’m pretty sure I died during the third cycle.”
“We call them rounds, just like in a fight,” he clarifies.
“And how is this keeping me safe?”
“We’re strengthening your core.”
“I enjoyed the kicking and punching we did during the last lesson more.”
“Did you?”
“I did, especially the elbow and knee striking on the pads. That was fun.” Not all of my sessions have been so torturous.
“Come to think of it, you did have a smile on your face the whole time.”
“So how does all of this core strength stuff help me with self-defense?”
“Strength is important for everyone.” Silas sits down on the mat next to me and smirks. “Especially the weaker sex.” He laughs and playfully pokes his heel into my hip.
“What?” I pop up from my prone position. “I’ll show you the weaker sex.” I’m not sure what comes over me, but I drop down on top of him and try to wrestle him to the ground.
Silas immediately wraps his legs around me, flips me onto my back, and pins me to the floor.
“You were saying?” His face is mere inches away from mine. I feel his breath quickening. With our torsos pressed together, and him straddling my hips, he quickly becomes aware of our close proximity. His dark eyes lower to my mouth as I slowly drag my tongue across my bottom lip. I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. Just when I’m expecting he’ll roll away from me, he leans down, slanting his mouth over mine.
Oh my God!
For a moment I’m so stunned, I hesitate and don’t respond. But instinct takes over and my tongue finds his. There’s an explosion of butterflies in my stomach as his mouth eagerly devours mine. Yet, he gently frames my face between his hands as if I’m made of glass.
Suddenly, he rolls off me and bounds to his feet. He holds out a hand and pulls me up to mine. And then he paces back and forth in front of me. And when he finally stops in front of me, I know I’m not going to like what he has to say.
“Gwen, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what came over me. It was wrong… so wrong.”
I turn and walk away without uttering a word. I grab my backpack and race out the door. My face is burning hot as I hurry down the sidewalk to where my SUV is parked. I can’t tell if it’s from embarrassment, anger, or the tears trailing down my cheeks. Maybe it’s a combination of all three.
I get behind the wheel and pull away before I notice Silas in my rearview mirror. Standing on the sidewalk with a hand thrust in the top of his hair, he looks as conflicted as I feel.
Good . At least I’m not the only one .
The drive to my house passes in a blur. When I pull into my driveway, I’m relieved I made it safely. Neither my dad’s or Maeve’s vehicle is here, which is for the best. As soon as they took one look at my face, they’d ask me what’s wrong, and I’d turn into a blubbering mess.
Once I’m inside, I head upstairs to my bathroom. Turning on the shower, I remove my clothes and climb under the stream of water. The hot spray mingles with the tears on my face. Leaning my forearms on the glass wall, I press my head to them and sob uncontrollably. Now that I’ve opened the floodgates, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop. I’m not only crying over Silas’s reaction to our kiss; I’m purging all the pent-up emotion from the past few weeks. All the fear and disappointment I’ve endured. The sadness I experience everytime I look in the mirror. It’s painful yet cathartic, and when I’m finally done, I’m spent. Exhausted, I slide down the wall and sit on the wet tiles. I stay there long after the water turns cold.