16. Gwen
CHAPTER 16
GWEN
A relieved sigh sputters from my lips when I pull in the driveway. Thank you, God. Silas isn’t home. I hear Dove whining as I turn the key in the lock. When I open the door, she rubs her head against my bare leg.
“Hey, sweetie. How’s my pretty girl doing? Are you ready to go for a walk with me?” I start to reach for the leash, but it’s not in its usual spot on the hook. “Great,” I grumble. “Now I have to find it.” I stalk toward the kitchen, hoping it’s there. If not, I don’t know where else to search. The leash is neatly bundled on the granite island next to a plate with a blueberry muffin. There’s a note with my name at the top.
Gwen,
I’m sorry for yesterday and the mess I made of everything. It wasn’t my intent to upset you or hurt you in any way. My actions were selfish. I care about you, and I hope you can forgive me.
All my best,
Silas
P.S. I’m betting you didn’t eat breakfast yet. This homemade blueberry muffin is high in protein. Eat it now, before walking Dove. And while you’re at it, grab a water from the fridge too
Smiling, I fold the paper, and tuck it inside my back pocket. “Pfft. Bossy jerk.”
Breaking off a piece from the top of the muffin, I pop it into my mouth and chew. I don’t have high hopes for how it will taste, with it being high in protein, but it’s actually pretty good. A little dry but still tasty.
I grab a water bottle from the fridge as instructed and take a deep pull. I stand at the island until I’ve finished eating the entire thing while Dove sits nearby, patiently waiting.
I toss the paper plate in the trash and bring the water with me as I head toward the door. When I step onto the porch, I gasp when I find a man sitting there. My heart leaps to my throat.
“Sorry.” He holds his hands up. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Gavin.”
I recognize his name and feel the panic in my chest loosen and then deflate like someone squeezing the air out of a balloon.
“Jesus. You scared the crap out of me.”
“I guess you need to be more aware of your surroundings.”
“In my defense, I wasn’t expecting someone to be sitting here.”
“You know, that’s not really a credible defense.” His lips curve as if to lessen the insult.
“Silas mentioned that you and Caleb live here.”
“He’s mentioned you also.” He smirks.
“Don’t tell me what he said. I don’t want to know. My coordination is less than stellar, so I can only imagine.”
“He hasn’t mentioned anything about your coordination.”
“That’s because I don’t have any,” I say, laughing.
“You can’t be that bad.”
“Silas has been very patient with me.”
He barks out a laugh. “Are we talking about the same man?”
“What? He’s been amazingly patient with me.”
“I’ve never seen that side of him when he’s training me or anyone else.”
“I’m not trying to be a competitive fighter, so maybe that’s why he’s going easier on me.”
“Or it could be that you’re pretty.”
“Oh… thank you. I’m not sure he sees me that way.”
“Yes he does. He doesn’t make a habit of kissing random women.”
My mouth opens in a perfect circle. “He told you about that?” I stomp across the porch and drop into one of the chairs, bringing Dove along to lie on the porch floor at my feet.
“Yes, but he was reluctant to do so. I could tell he was upset, and I pried the explanation out of him. The poor dude was so out of sorts, he ran five miles last night.”
My eyebrows fly upward. “He did?”
“Yep. He’s pretty conflicted about his feelings for you. He thinks he’s too old and that you’ve been through enough without adding to it.”
“Do you know what happened to me?”
“No. I only know Silas stopped you from being mugged.”
That makes sense since I haven’t really shared the full story with Silas yet.
“While I appreciate how considerate he is, I’m an adult. I don’t need him making decisions on my behalf, no matter how noble his motives might be.”
“He’s been through a lot the past few years. He’s trying to do right by you.”
“I get that, but it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”
“No, you don’t. Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Maybe.”
He laughs. “How do you feel about Silas?”
“I like him. A lot.” There’s no reason for me to lie or downplay the truth. Besides, the worst thing that can come of it would be Gavin telling him. And it’s not like he doesn’t already know. I kissed him back after all.
He smiles. “What are you going to do about your feelings for him?”
I shrug. “What can I do? I can’t force him to give us a chance if he doesn’t wish to.”
“True, but you also don’t have to give up on him. He’ll come around. He just needs time to get out of his own way.”
“I’m not planning to avoid him, but I’m not about to throw myself at him either. I’m working through a lot of my own shit, and that’s taking precedence over everything else.”
“I wish you luck, no matter what happens. You seem like a great girl.”
“Thanks, Gavin. You’re not so bad yourself.” I rise from the chair. “Come on, Dove. You’ve been so patient, I’ll give you an extra treat when we get back.”
“Make sure you tell Silas we spoke,” he says.
“Why would I do that?”
“To piss him off.” He winks.
“I have a feeling you’ll take care of telling him before I can.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
I walk Dove around the block, and since I’m assuming she ran for five miles with Silas last night, we take our time. When we make it back to the house, Gavin is no longer sitting there. I’m a little disappointed. I liked talking with him, and it didn’t hurt that he was giving me details about Silas. But all the information in the world won’t change anything if Silas doesn’t want to pursue anything between us.
When I arrive back home, I find my mom’s and Demi’s cars in the driveway in addition to my Dad’s and Maeve’s. What the fuck is going on here?
A text comes through on my phone.
Demi: I’m sorry you’re getting ambushed. I just stopped by unannounced, hoping you’d be here, and everyone’s here! Prepare yourself, girl. This might be a mini intervention.
Fuck me. I need my own place.
Do your breathing exercises before you come in.
I shut my SUV off and do exactly that. When I’ve sufficiently calmed myself, I head up the driveway. As soon as I open the door, I hear their voices and feel myself growing increasingly aggravated. So much for calming down.
It feels like I have to force my feet to move me forward, and when I enter the living room, all conversation comes to an abrupt halt.
That wasn’t awkward at all.
Crossing my arms, I raise my chin a notch and peer at each one of them. My mom and Dean are on the couch with Gayle between them. Maeve and my dad are on the love seat with T.J. between them, and Demi is sitting in a chair.
Gayle jumps from the couch, running over to hug me. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” she says.
Next up, Dean comes over for his quick hug. “How are you doing?” he asks.
“I’m well, thanks. How about you?”
He smiles. “No complaints.”
My mom wanders over when Dean and Gayle return to the couch. “Hello, daughter.” Her tone is sharper than usual.
“Hi, Mom,” I say, stepping in for a hug.
“We figured if we wanted to see you, we’d better come here,” she says. I know I’m not imagining that being a subtle dig.
“It’s nice to see you. I’ve been planning to come by but I’ve been busy.”
“Apparently,” she tosses out as she returns to her seat on the couch. Another dig.
I move over to sit on the arm of Demi’s chair and then glance between my parents. My dad still hasn’t said anything. “Well, this is unexpected,” I say.
“We just want to make sure you’re doing well,” Dean offers in explanation.
I stretch my arms out at my sides. “As you can see, I’m fine.”
“Are you really, though?” my mom asks.
“Yes, I am. I’m doing well.”
She looks me over. “I asked your father what’s been keeping you so busy and he didn’t know.”
“That’s because he treats me like an adult who’s been on her own all year at school.”
“We know how that turned out,” she fires back.
Demi and I simultaneously gasp.
“Claire,” my dad says in warning.
She rubs her forehead. “I’m sorry, Gwen. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Demi snaps at her. “Your daughter has been dealing with things none of us can even imagine, and she’s handling it better than anyone else could. I don’t think ambushing and insulting her is the best way to handle your anger at not seeing her enough. Maybe you need to think about why you haven’t and stop being selfish. Come on, Gwennie. Let’s get out of here.”
I send a quick glance my mom’s way, and she looks stunned. Demi stands and I slide from the arm of the chair to my feet. We hook arms and leave the house together.
“What do you want to do?” she asks, unlocking her car with the remote.
“Let’s get out of here and we can figure it out as we drive,” I suggest, lowering into the passenger seat. I’m trying not to seethe over my mom’s selfish behavior.
When Demi backs from the driveway and pulls away, I feel myself relax. “Thank you for speaking up for me. I don’t know what my mom’s thinking.”
“I’m sure she’s worried about you, and she’s obviously not handling it well. But don’t think about her right now. It’ll ruin your mood.”
“Too late. My mood was ruined the second I saw all the cars in the driveway. What happened before I got there?”
“Not much. Your mom and dad made nice and Maeve kept sending me sympathetic glances. Don’t be mad at her or your dad, I could tell they didn’t know she and Dean were going to show up.”
“I’m not upset with them. They’ve been great about letting me have space to heal while still checking in with me in case I need them.”
“Anyway, I’m glad we’re together because I haven’t given you an update on what happened with Silas last night.”
“You had sex!” she shouts excitedly.
“I hate to disappoint you, but no, we didn’t. We kissed, though.”
“That seems so meh, after I got my hopes up so high,” she says.
“There was nothing meh about it, trust me.”
“What happened afterward?”
“He told me he was sorry and said it shouldn’t have happened.”
“That asshole!”
“Yeah, I ran out of the gym and took off. He texted me last night, apologizing again. I told him it was already forgotten.”
She snorts. “Liar.”
“Of course I lied. What else could I do, beg him to change his mind?”
“Fuck that,” she says.
“So this morning when I went over to walk Dove, I found a note he left me and a blueberry muffin that he made. It was kind of sweet.”
“Aww. So now how are you feeling? Do you want to kick him in the nuts? Or maybe just one nut?”
“Hmm, I guess I’ll let him keep them for the time being. So, when I went outside to walk Dove, Gavin, one of the guys he trains who’s also his tenant, was sitting on the porch. He told me Silas was so out of sorts last night that he ran five miles.”
“Damn. That’s a lot of running. I bet he has great stamina in bed.”
I laugh. “Only you would think of that.”
“Only you wouldn’t,” she retorts.
“Gavin mentioned Silas is trying to do right by me. And he asked me how I feel about him.”
Her gaze flicks to me and then back to the road ahead. “Did you tell him?”
“Yeah.”
“When do you have your next training session with Silas?”
“Tomorrow.”
“You’ll have to let me know what happens.”
“Don’t worry, I will.”
“What do you say we go to the beach?” Demi asks.
“Ooh, I like that idea. I haven’t had my feet in the ocean for entirely too long.”
Twenty minutes later the two of us are laughing as we splash through the frothy water along the shoreline. Demi had a ball cap in her car and now it’s tugged down nice and low on my head to shield my face from the sun.
“God, I needed this and didn’t even realize,” I say.
“Right? There’s nothing better than getting your feet in the sand. We need to do this more.”
“Why didn’t I choose a college near the beach?”
“It’s not too late to switch schools,” she says.
“Yeah, I’ve been giving it some serious thought. I don’t know if I can handle going back to North Carolina.”
“You don’t need to put yourself in a situation where there are constant reminders everywhere you look. That’s no way to live.”
“I agree. But I don’t want to approach my dad with this until I figure out an alternate plan. Staying in South Carolina doesn’t mean I want to live at home, though, and he may try to convince me I should.”
“I don’t know. Your dad and Maeve might want the house to themselves again. T.J. is too young to know when they want to fuck, but you’re not.”
“I refuse to think about what they do when they’re alone.”
“I can’t help but think about it. And be so freaking jealous.” She winks. “God, I really need to find a fuck buddy soon.”
Oh, how I envy Demi’s self-confidence. She knows what she wants and she goes after it.
If only I could be more like her.