Chapter 5 #4
I breathed slowly, shallowly, until we reached my floor.
I resisted the impulse to run when the elevator doors opened, then stepped out with all the elegance I possessed, one step after another. Heithor was right behind me. A crushing presence, like a large, bulky shadow, trying to swallow me.
I wanted to turn around, ask what the fuck he thought he was doing.
I wasn’t inviting him in.
Heithor stopped, and I kept going, stopping six steps later. I stuck the key into my door, fighting the desire to turn my head to see what he was doing… in my periphery, I caught him opening the door to Mr. Porcari’s.
My indifference collapsed.
I took two steps in his direction, full of suspicion.
“Why are you going into Mr. Porcari’s apartment?”
Thor unlocked the door under my incredulous stare, paused, and looked at me from the side.
“My apartment.”
“What?”
“I live here.”
“No. Mr. Porcari…”
“Sold me the apartment,” he said calmly.
“Since when?”
His eyebrow rose, mocking.
“Does it matter?”
My forehead wrinkled so hard it would be marked for days.
I searched my mind. The last time I’d seen Mr. Porcari had been more than three weeks ago, when we got into the elevator together and he praised the restoration of our area.
I knew him well enough to know his family wanted him to go live on a little farm near Sicily, but he refused.
Mr. Omero loved living here. He was a city man.
I could clearly remember him saying he would die in this building.
And now—I looked at Heithor—he wasn’t here.
“What did you do?”
“What do you mean?”
“He loved the apartment,” I pointed out, not hiding the accusation.
“Maybe he didn’t love it enough.”
“Why did you do this? In all of Milan, why did you buy here, Heithor?” I asked with a hint of anger, lifting my chin, my hands closed into fists at my sides.
Heithor gave me a long, expressive look.
“Because this is where the reasons I live are, Ella.”
Not reason, but reasons.
A spark of foolish joy wanted to light its way up to my chest, and I fought to smother it with my anger. While I was doing that, Heithor became indifferent.
“If you need anything, call me.”
I gave him a cold look, disbelief registering on my face.
Heithor shrugged with an unreal innocence that made me want to rip out his hair.
“Neighbors do that, don’t they?”
UNBELIEVABLE!
Was he really going to act as if he hadn’t been a bastard to me? As if we were old lovers reuniting after some time apart?
Before anything else was said, the elevator beeped and the doors opened, revealing Giulia and my baby. Heithor turned around and fixed his gaze on them. Giulia looked at me questioningly as he rushed forward to take Lucca. I fought the need to jump in front of them.
“It’s fine, Giulia. This is Heithor,” I reassured her, in bad faith.
Heithor took Lucca into his arms, smiling widely, his eyes crinkling.
“Hey, son. It’s papà.” Lucca laughed, receiving his father’s kiss. “How you’ve grown, boy! Yes, you’re a little man… Daddy missed you to death.”
Lucca didn’t find him strange. The little traitor was even making the cute unintelligible noises and showing his almost bare gums.
I didn’t know if that pleased me or not.
Heithor looked at Giulia.
“Heithor Castellammare. Giulia Neri. She’s Lucca’s nanny.”
“It’s a pleasure, Mr. Castellammare.”
“Call me Heithor,” he said in a flirtatious tone.
Was she blushing?
“Of course, Heithor.”
“You can go, Giulia,” I said to her. “And I’m sorry for the delay.”
“No, it’s fine, Ella. I adore this boy. No problem.” She looked back at Heithor, smiling. “It was a pleasure, Heithor. Your son is beautiful.”
What the hell?
Heithor gave me an intense look.
“He takes after his mother.”
“Oh, yes! They’re both beautiful. Lucca is a lucky little guy.”
Giulia left and came back with her bag.
“See you tomorrow, Ella. Heithor.”
“See you,” we both answered.
I watched her enter the elevator, and before the doors closed, she made a gesture with her hand and moved her lips in an exaggerated, Wow!
How bold!
I stared at Heithor talking to Lucca.
“I need to go inside,” I grumbled, cranky.
“All right.”
He wasn’t moving to hand Lucca to me.
“What?”
“What do you think you’re doing, Heithor?”
“Lucca is my son too, Ella. I went months without seeing him. Let me stay with him for a moment, please. Then I’ll bring him to you. I’m right here and I’m not leaving.”
I gave him a long look… he held it, making explicit in our silent battle the threatening promise in his presumptuous words…
“All right,” I said, looking away, upset.
“Come in too. I can order something for us.”
I kissed my boy, then turned my back on them.
I tried to relax, but it was impossible.
My mind wouldn’t leave Heithor and Lucca in the other apartment.
He wasn’t going to run with our son. Truthfully, I wished my concern were limited to that, but I would be fooling myself.
I hadn’t looked at him with appreciation, and despite my bravest efforts, my brain had stored his image, how good he looked with one day’s beard, his strong expression, his dark gaze—a thunderstorm of raw intensity directed at me, willing to shake my soul.
Muscle and virility mocking me. He still made me react in his presence…
What the hell was I thinking?
I cut off any thought heading in that direction and walked to the kitchen.
I heard Lucca’s hungry cry before I got there, and then the doorbell rang.
I breathed deeply, running a hand through the mess of my hair, and opened the door.
Lucca threw himself toward me with a pout, his little eyes red and shining with tears.
“Everything was fine until he started crying.”
“It’s time for him to nurse,” I said, hiding my nervousness.
I put my hand on the knob, ready to close the door.
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
“Okay, okay… Can we have dinner tomorrow?”
I shifted Lucca to my other arm, his cry now sweetly whiny in my ear.
“I don’t have anyone to leave Lucca with, Heithor.”
“We don’t need to go out, Antonella. It can be at your apartment or mine.”
“I’ll call you,” I said, distracted, to get rid of him.
“Make time this week.”
“Forcing a situation isn’t smart.”
Heithor gave a tense smile, flattening his hand on the wall, and bent toward the doorframe. “We have to talk, Ella. I’m trying to give you your time, and I’m a patient man, but I won’t let you drag this situation out for the rest of our lives.”