42. Cassian
Cassian
Viv lets out a tiny whimper as I press my forehead against hers.
I don’t care that the rain is drenching us or that my fingers have grown icy.
I don’t care that somewhere in the city, her fiancé thinks he can cheat on the most incredible woman in the world and still get to marry her.
I don’t care that being this close to her is literally sucking the life out of me, that I’ll replay this moment in my head a thousand times, wondering if I could’ve done something differently, something that would’ve changed things.
I don’t care about any of that. I only care that right now I’m holding the woman I love.
She pulls away, and it hurts, but I deserve it, because I pushed her away first. “We should go inside,” she says, moving for the back door.
I turn and watch her go. Right before she grabs the handle, I call out, “Tell me why you’re with him when you could have your pick of men.”
She stops, hand extended, then spins around to face me. “Despite what you may think, Landon’s actually a good guy.”
Scoffing, I shake my head. “Don’t pretend you actually believe that shit.”
A flash of lightning tears apart the sky and illuminates her face for a second, revealing eyes as hard as steel. “I don’t need to convince you, because it has nothing to do with you, Cass.”
Bullshit, it has nothing to do with me. If it concerns her, it concerns me.
I close the distance between us, because I can’t stand to be this far apart from her. “I heard you crying in the stables.”
Blinking rapidly, she crosses her arms. “You were spying on me?”
“Do you know how hard it was not to beat the living shit out of that guy?” I ask, leaning in close so she can see the anger in my eyes. If I could stand to be away from her, I’d head to the city right now and cut the bastard into a thousand pieces.
“I wasn’t crying because of what he did.”
“Why then?”
Her jaw quivers. “Because I hate my life right now.”
She could’ve stabbed a knife into my heart, and it would’ve hurt less than those words. “Then get rid of the douchebag.”
“I should’ve known you wouldn’t understand.” She shakes her head and turns back to the house.
“Just because I don’t understand doesn’t mean you have to leave.”
“Oh, so you’re done being an asshole?” She keeps her body angled toward me, and I know she doesn’t want to leave me anymore than I want her to go.
“Vivvy—”
“Don’t ‘Vivvy’ me, Cass.” She looks away, biting her lip. “Landon hates when you call me that, by the way.”
I let out a loud laugh that echoes across the terrace. “Good. He better get used to hearing it a whole lot more.”
She pins me with a warning look. “Why do you want to antagonize him so badly?”
“Because I’m hoping that when he sees how difficult your friends are, he’ll take off.”
“My friends aren’t difficult. You are.”
“Fine. Me, then.”
“What makes you think I won’t make you leave instead?”
I search her face for a hint that she’s serious. Lowering my voice, I say, “You can’t make me leave any more than I can tear myself away.”
She turns her head, avoiding me, but I put a finger under her chin and tilt it back so I can drown in those beautiful green eyes again.
“Stop it,” she whispers.
“I can’t, Vivvy.”
Her lashes sweep against her cheeks, making tears spill over.
I wipe them away with my thumbs. “Don’t cry, baby. God, you’re ripping out my soul.”
She sniffs and backs away from me. My hands fall empty at my sides. “You should go,” she says.
“Tell me why you’re with him, and I will.”
“No.”
“You’re twenty-two, Viv. You’ve got your entire life ahead of you. Why get married so young to a guy you don’t love?”
“I told you. You wouldn’t—”
“Understand, I know. But I’m trying to, Vivvy. I want to understand.”
She shakes her head. “Just let it go, Cass.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?” she yells. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“Because it’s driving me mad. I toss and turn all night long, wondering if he’ll be good to you, if he treats you right, if you’re happy.
Then I find out the bastard cheated on you, and you don’t even care!
So I’m going to keep asking, because I won’t survive if there’s a chance he’s hurting you.
He’s either got one hell of a secret on you, or there’s something else going on here that you’re not telling me. ”
“He can protect me!” Her words ring out across the moor, echoing back from the cliff face far in the distance.
I stumble backward and clutch the middle of my chest. “What?” I rasp. It’s the only thing I can get out. My mind is too busy reeling, trying to figure out how the hell Landon Davenport is protecting my girl and—more importantly—what she needs protecting from.
Tears stream down Viv’s face, and I want to beat the shit out of myself for making her cry. “He can protect me,” she repeats in a whisper.
I finally regain control of myself and move closer, clasping my fingers around her wrists as she wipes her face. “Baby,” I say, the word coming out wet and soggy. “What do you need protection from?”
She keeps her hands over her eyes, and I have to pry them off before she’ll look at me.
“You can tell me.” I hope to god she decides to trust me, because there’s no way I’m leaving her like this.
“My father.” Her voice comes out so small. She tucks her shoulders close to her ears, as if she wants to fold in on herself.
“Your dad?” I furrow my brow, scrambling back over my past interactions with the man.
He’s terrifying, sure, but I’ve never seen him lay a hand on anyone—definitely not his wife or kids.
More often, he acts as if they don’t exist, until he needs them for something.
If he has so much as touched Vivienne, so help me god, he won’t live to see tomorrow.
“Why do you need to be protected from your dad?”
“It’s ridiculous,” Viv says, wrapping her arms around her middle.
“He just has so much power, you know? And when he wants you to do something . . .” She doesn’t finish that thought, but she doesn’t need to.
I’m all too aware of how far Lord Wilson’s power reaches.
She gives a tiny shrug. “I don’t know how to say no to him. ”
“And by marrying Landon, you can get out from under his thumb.”
Her eyes meet mine of their own accord this time. “Yeah.”
“It’s not ridiculous, Vivvy,” I say, pulling her close and delighting in the feel of her body against mine.
“It makes sense.” I rest my chin on her head and stare out over the darkening heath.
I’m relieved it’s not something worse, but if she’s making this big of a life decision because of her dad, maybe it’s more dangerous than I think.
“I should be stronger.” Viv clutches my soaked sweatshirt as if it’s a lifeline. “Anyone else would stand up to him, not marry a virtual stranger.”
“That’s not true. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
“I thought if I came here, he’d leave me alone.
I thought maybe seeing me was what was triggering him, but he calls me almost every day to see how Rhya’s schooling, and I just can’t take it anymore.
” She buries her face against my chest, and I stroke her hair with my palm.
Her bastard of a father can go to hell and take Landon Davenport with him.
“You need to stand up to him, Vivvy,” I murmur. “It’s the only way.”
Her laugh borders on hysterical. “You of all people should know exactly what he’s capable of.”
As if I need reminding of what he made us all agree to. “I do, but I also know you can’t live the rest of your life in fear of him.”
She sniffs loudly. “Easy for you to say.”
“Trust me, Viv. There’s nothing about this that’s easy for me.”