Forty-Six
Aspen
The journey to the Cosa Nostra compound seems interminable. Every red light feels like an eternity, every mile marker a reminder of how much time I’ve wasted. Kitty sits beside me in the driver's seat, silent now after her revelations, giving me space to process everything she’s told me.
But I can’t process. Not yet. Right now, all I can think about is getting to Kaiden. I want to admonish her to hurry, but I know the chaotic New York traffic is beyond her control, and arguing about it will only steal her focus, so I bottle it all up with the rest of my anguish.
The guard at the gate clearly knows her and waves us through without question, for which I’m thankful.
I rushed out without any ID, so at least one thing is on my side.
My hands are so tightly fisted my fingers have gone numb, and after we park on the circular drive, I struggle to open the door latch.
Then Mika is there, opening it for me, and I almost tumble out in my rush.
He steadies me with a hand on my arm. “I’m glad you’re here,” Mika says, his usual composure cracked around the edges.
There’s genuine concern in his dark eyes, something I never expected to see from the Don’s son.
Not over the forcibly confined son of a debtor, anyway.
“The doctor... he’s doing what he can, but…
It’s like Kaiden’s lost the will to fight. ”
Kitty comes around the hood of the vehicle to join us, and Mika directs us around the side of the main building to a smaller structure I never bothered to consider the purpose of in all the times I visited this place as a kid.
“The medical facility is separate,” he explains as I blindly follow his lead. “More privacy. Faster access.”
My feet carry me toward the entrance on autopilot. My heart hammers against my ribs so hard it hurts. What if I’m too late? What if he’s already…
No. I refuse to think like that.
Kitty places her hand on my arm before we clear the door, and I just want to shake her off so I can get to him. “Aspen, you need to prepare yourself,” she murmurs while Mika waits patiently.
“He doesn’t look good. The infection has spread, and he’s been slipping in and out of consciousness. But even when he’s conscious, he’s not lucid.”
I nod once, sharp, not trusting my voice.
Inside, the medical facility is sterile and cold, all white walls and professionalism, despite being attached to a private residence. The acrid smell of antiseptic makes my stomach turn, and I know it’s because this is personal.
Mika leads us down a corridor, our footsteps echoing off the wooden floors. Each step feels weighted, like I’m walking toward something ominous. Something with an outcome that might break me.
We stop outside a door, and through the small window I see medical equipment, an IV stand, monitors beeping softly. And a bed.
My breath catches.
“He’s in there,” Mika says quietly. “The doctor stepped out a few minutes ago, but he’ll be back soon. You can go in.”
My hand reaches for the door handle, then freezes. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if my presence makes things worse? What if…
“Aspen.” Kitty’s voice cuts through my spiral. “He needs you. Whatever doubts you have, whatever fear - push through it. Because he’s already given up, and I really think you’re the only one who can bring him back.”
I force myself to turn the handle and push the door open.
The room is dim, the shades drawn, with only a side light on near the bed, casting everything in shadows. The beeping of monitors fills the space, steady but somehow ominous. And there, lying against the stark, pristine sheets, pale despite his tan, is Kaiden.
My heart clenches painfully at the sight of him.
He looks nothing like the formidable man who walked out of my house a week ago.
His skin is pallid, almost grey, with a sheen of sweat coating his forehead.
Dark circles bruise the skin beneath his closed eyes.
The IV line snakes into his arm, and monitors track vitals that I instinctively know aren’t good even before I look at the numbers.
The shoulder wound is bandaged, but I can see the edges of infection spreading beyond the white gauze - angry red lines tracking up his neck, a clear sign of sepsis advancing through his system.
“Oh god,” I breathe, my hand flying to my mouth.
I move to his bedside on legs that threaten to give out. Up close, it’s even worse. His breathing is shallow, labored. His lips are cracked and dry. The strong, capable hands that have held me so tenderly, lie motionless against the sheets.
This can’t be happening. Not when I just found him again. Not when Kai just got his father back.
Not when I never got to tell him the truth - that I love him. That I’ve always loved him. That every mistake I made in pushing him away was born from fear and pain, not the truth of what we are to each other.
“Kaiden.” My voice breaks as I reach for his hand. His skin is hot to the touch, burning with fever. I lace my fingers through his, squeezing gently. “I’m here. I’m so sorry. Please, please come back to me.”
Nothing. Not even a flicker of recognition.
I sink into the chair beside his bed, still clutching his hand like it’s the only thing keeping me tethered. Tears stream down my face unchecked now. I don’t even bother wiping them away.
The others melt away, but I barely notice. Even if they were here to witness my pain, my shame, I wouldn’t care. Nothing matters but this man.
My protector. My husband. Father of my son. The man I can’t live without.
Surely it can’t be too late?
“Kitty told me everything,” I whisper, leaning closer. My throat constricts, making it hard to speak. “God, Kaiden, I’m so sorry. Sorry I didn’t understand. Sorry I let my insecurities blind me.”
His chest rises and falls in that shallow, labored rhythm. The monitors beep their steady cadence, each sound a reminder of how fragile this moment is.
“Kai misses you,” I continue, my voice cracking. “He drew you a picture. He’s so proud of it. He wants to give it to you himself.”
I brush my thumb across Kaiden’s knuckles, feeling the heat radiating from his skin. The fever is consuming him from the inside out, and I’m powerless to stop it.
“Don’t you dare leave me, Kaiden Brooks.” My voice breaks as tears continue to stream down my face. I want to be strong, but instead I’m just terrified that the last words he remembers are me telling him I didn’t care; to stay away.
Still nothing. His chest continues its shallow rise and fall, but there’s no indication he can hear me at all.
I lean forward, pressing my forehead against our joined hands. “I love you,” I whisper. “I’ve always loved you, even when I was too scared to admit it. Even when I pushed you away. Even when I convinced myself I hated you for leaving.”
The words pour out of me now, everything I should have said before. Please God, I pray. Don’t let it be too late.
The truth crashes over me like a tsunami. I’ve been such a fool. So consumed by my own insecurities and past hurts that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. Kaiden never abandoned us - he was shot protecting someone, and like an idiot, I imagined the worst, despite everything he told me.
“I’m here now,” I say, my voice stronger despite the tears. “And I’m not leaving. Do you hear me? I’m not going anywhere.”
I study his face, searching for any sign that my words are reaching him through whatever darkness has claimed him. His skin is so hot it’s frightening, and the red streaks creeping up from the bandaged wound look worse than they did just moments ago.
The door opens behind me and I hear footsteps, but I don’t turn around. Can’t take my eyes off Kaiden.
“Miss. Bianchi.” It’s the doctor’s voice, professional but tinged with something that sounds like defeat. “I need to check his vitals and change the dressing.”
“Mrs. Brooks,” I correct him. He frowns but I continue not letting him question my claim. Do what you have to,” I say without looking back. “But I’m his wife, and I’m staying right here.”
There’s a pause, then I hear him moving around the room, gathering supplies. I don’t move from my spot, even as he works around me. My grip on Kaiden’s hand remains firm, my thumb continuing to trace small circles over his knuckles.
The doctor peels back the bandage carefully, and I force myself to look. The wound is angry and inflamed, the surrounding tissue swollen and discolored. My stomach churns, but I don’t look away. I need to see what I did to him. What my words, my accusations, my walking away cost him.
“The antibiotics aren’t working,” the doctor mutters. “We’ve tried three different types. His body’s fighting the medicine as hard as it’s fighting the infection.”
The doctor glances at me, something flickering in his eyes. “It’s not exactly a medical diagnosis, but you need to give him a reason, Mrs. Brooks. Because medically speaking, we’re running out of options.”
With that parting lecture, he leaves again, and his words settle over me like a shroud.
Running out of options. Such vague language for the fact that my husband is dying.
“Kaiden.” I lean in closer, bringing my lips near his ear. “You need to wake up. Our son needs his father. I need my husband.”
My voice cracks on the last word, and I press my lips against his fevered skin. It’s wrong. Everything about this is wrong.
“I was stupid,” I continue, the words tumbling out faster now. “I let fear control me. I let the past dictate my future. But you’ve always fought for us, Kaiden. You’ve always put me first, even when it meant sacrificing yourself. Now it’s my turn to fight for you.”
I squeeze his hand harder, willing him to feel it. To know I’m here. A tear drops onto our joined hands, and I watch it slide down his skin.
“I don’t need protection from anyone anymore, Kaiden. I just need you. All of you. The darkness and the light. The broken pieces and the whole ones.”
I lean back, letting go of his hand while I wipe the wetness from my cheeks. I scrub at my face and blink the tears from my eyes, trying to pull myself together. I’m no good to Kaiden like this.
With a final sniffle, I puff out a steadying breath and concentrate on my husband again.