26. Chapter Twenty-Five #2
Chris and Zar looked at each other, then their eyes widened.
I let out a deep sigh. “You truly hadn’t thought about it?
” I asked, fearing this talk would soon turn into a heated argument.
Zar was in a coven, a coven he loved and had been in for centuries.
He lived in a mansion with all the other coven members, and Chris was the alpha of this whole town, his last name was even the town’s name. Keen.
“I um,” Zar began, still looking stunned. “I guess I just always assumed we would live with the coven.”
Chris seemed surprised by this. “And I always assumed we would stay here, with the pack.”
I looked to both sides, suddenly hating sitting in the middle.
I thought it might be a good thing to add my feelings on it, even if it wouldn’t change anything.
“And I don’t care what we do,” I said, gaining their full attention.
“As long as we’re somewhere we’re accepted and I feel at home, then I don’t mind if it's with the coven or here in the pack.”
“Do you feel at home here?” Chris asked hopefully, and I grimaced. I’d walked right into that one.
“Honestly?” I said, thinking now was not the time to mince my words, no matter how hard it was to see Chris disappointed.
“I feel that many aren’t happy with us here, and we can’t give you heirs, so the Keen-bloodline dies with you.
I have no idea how I’ll feel with the coven, seeing as I’ve never been there.
This doesn’t feel like home to me, but maybe it could someday. ”
Our alpha nodded at that, taking my words into account. He looked to Zar and then to the plush off-white carpet in front of the couch. “I think I’m going to step down as alpha.” His words hung in the air. The heaviness of his statement was forcing me to remember how to breathe.
“But you’re a werewolf,” I breathed, still not believing his words. I hadn’t known about the full moon werewolf form, but I knew about packs and how important they were to shifters, and werewolves were even worse. He would be giving a huge part of himself away to another.
Chris gave me a pained smile. “I never wanted to be alpha,” he admitted softly, looking back to the carpet.
“I was forced to take on the role because it was my birthright. I thought I would have more time before the whole pack depended on me. Sadly I didn't. I’ve hated every second of being alpha. The decisions I have to make, knowing my pack could be affected, the constant need to place my pack before anyone else.” He looked at Zar, then at me.
“No one comes before you, and I’ve already failed as an alpha for putting you two before them, but I have.
They could all die and I wouldn’t care as long as it meant you two were safe. ”
Zar moved closer, making the three of us all pressed together on the couch.
“If you’re certain, we’ll stand behind you on this, even with finding the new alpha, if you want.
My coven will welcome you both with open arms. Vampires aren’t big on emotions and all that mushy stuff, but the bonded humans are and they love it when new ones join the coven. ”
“You all live in one big mansion?” Chris asked, and I was dying to know the answer, too. I only knew Zar and his master lived in it.
Zar shook his head. “The top of the coven lives in the mansion. Which is around fifty with the bonded humans. The rest live in smaller mansions or houses close by, all within less than ten minutes from the main mansion.”
“Wow,” I said, thinking how weird it would be to live with so many vampires.
“We have our own wing,” Zar continued. “I’m one of the chosen four, so me and the other three all have our own wings which are a little bigger than this house.”
“Chosen?” Chris asked.
“The ones closest to the master. He’s chosen us himself. All coven masters have four chosen, it’s supposed to be a good luck number and now it's sort of law for all covens,” Zar explained.
“What would we do there?” I asked. “Like for everyday stuff. Would Chris and I work? And if so, with what and where? Are we expected to do something now that we’re in the coven?”
Zar leaned back against the couch again, looking confident as he listed off on his fingers, “Firstly, you can do whatever you please as a bonded. I however will still need to do the tasks Altaur asks of me. We can decide between the three of us if that includes all of us or just me. Second, the humans living there all have their own hobbies that they do to live happily. Their main job is to feed their vampire and be happy with them. So they can do what they please. One is a writer of historical books, having lived for that long himself. One is tending the garden and finds joy in that. Another is a painter and most of the mansion walls are filled with her art. They all contribute in some way, but we’re mostly like a big family in a sense.
We have our own private rooms we can go to for privacy and many shared rooms for when we want company. ”
“It actually sounds amazing,” Chris said.
I nodded in agreement. “I could start a hobby if I wanted to.”
“You could,” Zar smiled.
“I think I would like to learn how to fish,” I declared, already dreaming of a day where I could do what I actually wanted, but then I remembered.
The rogues. “Actually,” I said, stalling whatever reaction they’d had to me fishing.
“I’ll want to continue hunting for rogues.
It’s the one thing I can do to make sure others won’t lose family members like I did. ”
“If that’s what you want, then we’ll do that together,” Zar assured me.
“Your coven won’t be mad that I’m still hunting them?” I asked.
He shook his head. “We hunt them ourselves when they prove too difficult for human hunters. I see no issue with us doing this on our own. As long as Altaur is okay with it, of course.”
Chris was silent, and I hated that. Eventually, he asked, “You really want the book out, don’t you?”
I nodded, not even having to think about my answer. “My biggest wish is for rogues to disappear. I don’t care about more vampires, I doubt they’ll survive long anyway. I just want those bloodlusty demons to never return.”
“If rogues stopped being created,” Zar began, his gaze intense on mine. “Would you then learn to fish and just be happy? Would that be enough for you to feel like you were allowed to live?” Those words broke me, because of course that would be enough, but could it truly happen?
I nodded, my eyes filling with tears. “That is my greatest wish.”
Zar simply nodded, then stood from the couch. “I’ll call Altaur.”