Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Karen
Very tenderly, I dabbed my eyes with a tissue for the umpteenth time since I’d been here, they were so sore now.
Pregnancy hormones and a broken heart didn’t mix.
But just like Mom said she would, she made me tea and sat with me, then held me tight, just like she used to when I was young.
I missed her so much. It’s weird how you turn back into that little girl again when you’re upset.
She listened to me as I explained everything.
How we met, the instant attraction I felt to him, even his problems and how I stood by him.
All the time I was talking, she nodded and comforted me, told me everything would work out for the best, I just had to wait and see.
And that if we loved one another, then it would sort itself out.
Then came the news about the baby. She wasn’t ready for that bombshell. Shocked didn’t really cut it.
With the TV remote clenched tightly in my fingers, I searched through cable and flicked through the movie channels.
I hadn’t shifted my lazy ass from here all day, I got up out of my old bed and got on the couch, then stayed there, wrapped in a bright pink fleece blanket.
Not that it was cold outside, far from it, but I needed comfort.
I’d only eaten because mom made me, and she’d brought that to me.
As I focused on the telly, the peace surrounded me. In fact, I’d forgotten just how quiet it was here. Beverly Hills is hectic compared to Santa Monica. Or was that just the madness that was my life right now?
My thoughts faded as mom came into the room and perched herself on the edge of the seat. “Maybe you should get up and have a shower. You can’t lie here all day, baby.” She moved my hair from my eyes and stroked my head, just like mom’s do.
“Why not?” I mumbled feebly as I flicked back through the same channels. I switched it from the movie channels and put some music on instead, then tucked it beneath my cushion.
“Because it’s not healthy.” She added. I didn’t care.
Whether it was healthy or not, I didn’t have it in me to move, or shower, or even eat.
I wanted to stay here and dwell in my own sadness.
A familiar tune had me glancing away from my mother and to the telly.
Hard habit to Break by Chicago played away, it brought even more tears to my eyes.
It said everything I was feeling. Mom used to play a lot of sixties, seventies and eighties music when we were growing up, hearing this made me feel nostalgic.
“I don’t think this will help,” she nodded at the sad love song on the telly. I shrugged and left it on.
The front door opened and closed again with a slight bang, I looked to my mom with wide eyes, “Your brother is here now.” She said with a tight smile.
“Did you tell him?” I asked, my voice high as I pulled myself up slightly to lean on my elbow.
“I may have mentioned something.”
“Mom.” I whined, and just as I was about to say don’t mention Gav, he walked in the room before I could get the words out.
“Sis. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming down?”
I shrugged and painted a smile on my face, “Spur of the moment.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek, his arm hooked around me and hugged me. “It’s good to see you, anyway.”
“You too.” I answered quietly.
“Why don’t I make coffee?” Mom said standing, “You can catch up with your brother.” She pointed her gaze at me, I knew what she was trying to get at, she wanted me to tell him what was going on. Dan released me and moved to the other end of the couch, lifted my feet and sat down.
“So, what’s with the spontaneity?”
“I was always coming back soon, I just didn’t know when,” I shrugged again like everything was fine, “I didn’t have much on, so I thought I’d come down.”
He studied my face, “Are you okay?” His gaze roamed over me, I sucked in a breath and nodded. “No, you’re not. I used to see that look when we were younger. What jackass has upset you?”
“Just leave it, Dan.” Tears were pricking at my eyes again, I couldn’t cry, not now. I repeated that mantra to myself over and over. But the more he stared at me, it was harder to hold them off. My chin wobbled and my nostrils flared as the first tear started to fall.
“You need to tell me who’s ass I need to kick.” I sniffed back my tears; I didn’t want to cry anymore. Damn, I’m such a baby, but I couldn’t stop. I swiped the back of my hand over my eyes again and inhaled.
“It’s okay. I promise.” Just then mom walked in with three cups on a tray.
“Here we go.” She passed me mine, and then passed Dan’s to him.
As I held my tea in my hands, the aroma of Dan’s coffee hit my senses.
Usually, I loved the smell of coffee, but today it turned my stomach, and I knew I was going to be sick.
I carefully shoved my cup towards my mom and shot off the couch.
I raced up the stairs with my hand over my mouth.
Bursting through the bathroom door, I dropped to the tiles, and threw myself over the toilet bowl, the contents my stomach emptied and once I was certain I was finished, I wiped my mouth with some toilet tissue, I threw it into the water and flushed it away.
I dragged myself up and got back onto my feet, my legs shook slightly as I bent slightly to wash my mouth out.
My hands clutched the edge of the sink as I pulled myself together, then once the feeling to throw up some more had passed, I ventured back downstairs.
“So,” Dan said firmly, “what was all that about?”
I sighed as I got back on the couch, “Just a stomach flu.”
“Why are you lying to me. I’m not stupid, Kaz.”
“Dan, please,” I sighed softly, “I’m asking you to not ask questions, and when I’m feeling more like myself, I’ll fill you in.
” He held his arm out for me, giving in for now and I snuggled into him, pressing my cheek to his chest and draped my arm over his stomach.
It had been a long time since he’d done this.
My big brother had quite often acted like a father figure, but sometimes he had to back off and he knew that. I’d tell him when I was ready.
I wasn’t sure how long we sat like that, but I knew it had been a while.
I was about to move from him when I heard the door knocking.
I prayed to all that was holy it wasn’t a visitor that would need to come in, because the state of my puffy eyes would put anyone off.
I could hear voices, but I couldn’t hear who Mom was talking to.
So, I ignored her, and whoever had her talking on the doorstep, and lifted my head from Dan’s chest. “I’m here when you’re ready, sis.
” He kissed the top of my head. My brother always knew how to comfort me.
I smiled across at my brother, “Thanks, Dan.”
“Always.” I heard the door close again. Thank goodness for that. My body slumped back the other way and my head fell back onto my cushions and settled my gaze back on the telly.
I heard the light footsteps and knew Mom was coming back.
“Who was that?” I mumbled not lifting my head again.
I didn't want to look at anything but the telly, it was the only thing that got my attention, and that was only because I didn’t have to concentrate.
I hadn’t even turned my phone on today. What was the use.
“It’s me.” My eyes widened. It couldn’t be. “K?” It was. Only Gav that called me that. What the fuck was he doing here?