14. The Rose
Chapter 14
The Rose
“ S taring at it isn’t going to change who made it.”
Isaac’s grin was more than a little smug as we walked along the forest path that led to the clearing we’d gather in for the pack run. I briefly wondered if he’d be as smug if I reached a foot out to trip him.
“Who said I was even thinking about who made it?” I asked, keeping my voice light but still staring at the labradorite-encrusted blade. “Maybe I’m just admiring the glint of silver in the pre-dusk glow and contemplating the meaning of life.”
“A decent evasion except I already know you consider the meaning of life to be enjoying its simple pleasures and protecting others from harm. You declared as much in the truth’s circle at my going away party.”
Sabotaged by a childish party game.
“Well, maybe I’m reevaluating.” I wasn’t. “I can’t be expected to always feel the way I felt at fifteen, now can I?”
“I won't make you talk about it today.” He threw his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me to his side. “But I know you’re thinking about him, and I just want you to know it’s okay that you are. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
I shrugged off his arm and said sternly, “I’m not thinking about him.”
Of course, I was thinking about him.
How could I be consumed by anything else after such a revelation? It went against everything I’d reminded myself to be true in the last three years. The unquestionable act of service by crafting my blade—my beautiful blade—was nothing short of infuriating.
I was not someone he would invest this much time, this much labor into pleasing. I was a nuisance, an obligation. I was a duty he upheld to please his parents and serve the Pack. I was unwanted.
I knew it was true. I’d heard it from his lips before he left, the words forever branded into the walls of my heart and mind, yet proof of the opposite lay perfectly balanced in my hand.
“It just doesn’t make sense,” I cursed under my breath. My hands gripped my hair, one still holding the dagger, and fell heavy at my side. I turned to my best friend and repeated, “It doesn’t make any sense, Isaac.”
“It makes perfect sense.” He stared straight ahead, but I could still see the twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
“How?” I returned the dagger to its sheath and said, “Explain it to me, because I can’t reconcile it with everything else I know for certain.”
He said nothing for a moment, only looked at the dimming sky through the treetops and shook his head slowly.
“I can’t explain what you won’t allow yourself to understand. You and Grayson will figure it out together in time.”
“I don’t even know what we’re figuring out,” I grumbled, kicking a stone in my path against the trunk of a nearby tree.
“I know.” He glanced down at my face and had the audacity to laugh. “Don’t pout, Briar.”
My mouth dropped open and I said, “I am not pouting! I would never pout.”
His eyes stared pointedly where my arms were folded across my chest. I quickly dropped them to my side and un-pursed my lips.
Maybe I was pouting just a little.
“It’s chilly out, I have to cross my arms for warmth,” I defended. Isaac’s laugh echoed through the trees.
“You’ve never been cold a day in your life, and you know it!”
“Nonsense,” I dismissed, “I’m quite sensitive to changes in temperature.”
“It’s summer.” He stared pointedly at my neck. “And you’re sweating.”
I gasped and wiped at the liquid starting to pool there, “Rude! Don’t you know better than to assume things? Maybe I’m not warm. Maybe I’m nervous or was poisoned!”
Isaac smiled and shook his head but played along.
“If you were poisoned would you want me to point out the symptoms so we can find the antidote?”
“No, I'd want you to let me die with my dignity intact and refrain from pointing out any bodily fluids that may appear.”
“Yes, your highness,” he swept in front of me and gave a deep bow, “Whatever you wish.” He lost his footing–potentially because of karma or potentially because I shoved him–and chuckled as he picked himself up from the forest floor.
“Speaking of highnesses,” I said lightly a moment later, “Would you care to clue me in as to how the Pack Prince can be misinformed on his own pack’s hierarchy?”
Isaac turned sheepish and winced.
“Seriously, Isaac,” I said, catching him by the elbow and turning him to face me, “How could he not have heard about the Pack Rites? Even if you, Ivy, or Lucas didn’t inform him directly–which I would find shocking in itself–the pack gossip had to have reached him. It wasn’t exactly minor news.”
“To tell someone something they have to be willing to hear it,” he said with a grimace, “I don’t know what happened between you two, and I’m not asking you to tell me, but whatever it was changed things. The first time Gray came home you became a ghost. He could barely find you when he went looking, and the second time you weren’t even at the compound.”
Except he hadn’t looked for me.
“And then later on,” Isaac continued, “You didn’t want to hear anything about him, and he didn’t want to hear anything about you. Goddess knows you both bit my head off enough times when I tried. If I had to guess, his parents sent him the minimum amount of information about you which is probably just your change in rank without all the nitty gritty details of the Rite.”
I grunted noncommittally. Even if no one had told him the circumstances, he should’ve taken enough interest in his own pack to ask questions instead of making his own assumptions. I refused to believe his refusal to speak of me stemmed from anything other than annoyance–or maybe a bruised ego. I gave him what he’d always wanted: I freed him of his obligation to me. Isaac would understand if I confided in him, but what good would come of it? None, so I kept it to myself. Let him believe the best of his Alpha.
We walked without speaking for a while longer, the only sounds between us the distant rush of water and an occasional rustle of leaves from whatever creatures made their homes amidst the forest floor.
“I received an interesting letter from my father today,” Isaac said, breaking the silence as we walked. “He asked me to pass along a message to you.”
“Did he?” I asked. “I suppose I’ll choose not to be offended that he didn’t write to me himself. What did he say?”
“He wanted me to tell you the deer drowned,” he said, studying my reaction as he spoke. “There was water in its lungs when Helena examined it. Does that mean something to you?”
There had been no water near the carcass, save the small pool—hardly even a puddle, really—I’d been able to find. That wasn’t nearly enough for a rat to drown in, let alone a full-sized doe. Not for the first time, I questioned if I made the right choice hiding it from Fenrir. Would any good come from me telling him other than to raise unnecessary alarm? Was it selfish to keep that detail to myself?
No. I’d made the right choice.
The border hadn’t been breached and they knew there was a threat. That’s what mattered. My paranoid suspicions would only lead to more questions—questions I couldn’t afford to answer.
“We found a deer at the border before we left,” I said without lying, “We weren’t certain, but we thought it triggered the enchantment.”
Two parallel lines appeared between Isaac’s brows.
“If it drowned, how could it have triggered the enchantment?”
I shrugged.
“It had a nasty gash on its leg. Whatever predator found it was probably dragging it and got spooked by the border.” Except there’d been no drag marks–no paw prints–and its neck had been snapped.
“That’s pretty odd though, isn’t it?” he asked, “Why wouldn’t an animal take it back to its den, plus the wildlife would know the territory well enough to avoid the border, right?”
“I’m not sure.” Not a lie. “I’m sure they’re looking into everything just to be safe.”
He didn’t seem to be convinced so I forced a chuckle and added, “Besides, why would someone leave a rotting corpse at the border? If it’d been a trap they would’ve ambushed us, but no one else was there.”
Suspect he would’ve argued further when a honeyed voice called from above, “Rotting corpses, huh? Sounds interesting. Are you covering up murders now in the Othniel Pack? That’d be quite a tidbit of information to spread amongst the realm.”
Isaac’s eyebrows hit his hairline when we spotted Kenna standing on a branch leaning against the trunk of a tree to our right. Pressure built in my chest, and I pushed down the flare of heat rushing to the surface at the shock.
I hadn’t heard her. I always heard everyone, so how had she gotten so close without attracting my notice? More importantly, how long had she been following us?
“If you’ve been lurking in the trees for more than a few seconds, Kenna, you know very well we’re talking about an animal.” Isaac eyed her from his place beside me and asked, “How long have you been tailing us?”
“Tailing makes it sound like I was spying on you,” she said with a click of her tongue, “We’re going to the same place. I simply chose a higher path than you.”
“So the tree tops are both your bed and preferred method of travel?” I asked once the last kindling of heat disappeared from my veins.
Kenna stepped off the branch and landed lightly on her feet in front of us. She added a dramatic flick of her hair that had me grinning. The backdrop of the forest made the light green of her eyes even more striking than usual.
“They certainly serve more than one purpose.” She grinned, and added, “Besides, travelers are less likely to look up than they are to look around.”
“I take it you’ve been above us the entire journey,” I stated rather than asked. She looked much too satisfied to have only just happened upon us.
“I don’t know what would lead you to such an assumption,” she said lightly. We began walking again. “But if you decide you want to get rid of that dagger because it was a gift from a certain surly wolf, I’ll happily take it off your hands.”
Her smile reminded me of a feral kitten, which, in many ways, she was.
“I’m not giving you the dagger Kenna.”
“Fine.” She drew out the word and sighed, taking a few steps in silence before turning her attention to Isaac. “Why do I feel like we’ve been in the same Pack for two years and have barely spoken? If I didn’t know better I’d think you were avoiding me.”
I stifled the giggle on my lips as Isaac stammered over his reply, assuring her that wasn’t the case at all while eyeing her warily. The last few minutes of our journey were spent with Kenna playfully teasing—or possibly threatening—him about their lack of interaction.
She smiled the entire conversation and I felt my lips rise when I remembered Isaac’s comment when I first arrived. It seems he still found it unnerving to see her smile.
“I think we’re going to be good friends, Isaac Cadell.” She leaned her head against his shoulder as we entered the clearing and his body physically jolted, ruining the self-control I’d managed to maintain. I couldn’t help it, my laughter echoed throughout the field.
Which meant when we entered the clearing, every single eye turned to look at us.
Several of them looked surprised to see the three of us together, others looked nervous, but there was only one reaction I cared about—loath as I was to admit it—and he was smiling.
Grayson beckoned me over with a toss of his head, but I kept my feet planted. I looked at him expectantly, ready for his glare to return at my refusal, but his smile only grew. He said something to his Beta, Pax, and patted him on the arm before jogging in our direction.
“Is he coming over to us?” I asked Isaac under my breath.
“I wouldn’t say he’s coming over to us, but he’s definitely coming over to you. He hasn’t taken his eyes off you since we arrived.”
I didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking. I could hear it in his voice. As if the wolf managing to focus on me for an entire two minutes was something to be smug about.
“Maybe he has a secret twin,” I pondered out loud as Grayson drew nearer, “It’d explain the mood swings.”
“Maybe he just figured out what he thought he had wouldn’t always be there waiting for him. Some people don’t realize what’s important until it’s taken away from them.”
“Not likely.” I gave it another moment’s thought. “He’s probably just worried I’ll tell his parents. Ivy would have him on stable duty for a month for his behavior this week, and Lucas would make him run the training course from dusk ‘til dawn.”
Maybe he hadn’t even made the blade. Maybe it was just a ploy to make me warm up to him after he–again–failed to have my back in the hallway with the selkies.
My two companions looked at me with varying expressions. Kenna stared at me the way I often stared at Naomi, and Isaac’s gaze held an indulgent amount of pity as if he felt sorry for me.
I opened my mouth to ask them what their problem was, but Grayson arrived before the words could leave my lips. The joy I’d glimpsed across the field hadn’t left his eyes but his smile was less prominent. It’d turned into something like a smug grin. I’d preferred it if he glared.
“Good evening, Luna.” I narrowed my eyes but it only seemed to amuse him. What game was he playing? “Would you like to join me at the front of the Pack? Now that you’re here I think we’re ready to begin.”
I looked at Kenna instead of answering, unsure what to expect. I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to challenge me for the right to lead the run leading up to the Pack Rite, but I preferred not to fight with her before it was unavoidable. The more turmoil we sowed in the Pack now, the more problems that would sprout later.
“The faster you go with him the sooner my lion can stretch her legs, maybe catch a rabbit or two.” She said the last part a bit louder and smiled when a nearby female grew visibly pale.
“Rabbit shifter?” I leaned into Isaac and asked.
“Rabbit shifter.”
“That’s rough.” He nodded in agreement. I returned my attention to the blonde lion still wearing her eerie smile—I bet she’d perfected it in a mirror at some point in her life to set others ill at ease.
“I’m a little surprised, Kenna. I thought you’d fight me for the Luna role.” I paused and realized, “You didn’t ask for my place at the table tonight either. What? Are you ready to relinquish the title to me after all?”
Goosebumps rose on not just Isaac’s but Grayson’s skin as well. She cackled and reached over to shove my shoulder with a surprising amount of force. Maybe the Rite would be a bit more interesting than I’d thought. Of course, no matter how strong she was, I knew I was stronger.
“Of course not. Goddess, you’re the whole package, aren’t you? Strength, beauty, and humor all wrapped up in one person.” She wiped a stray tear from her eye as she caught her breath. “I have no problem stepping aside and letting you have this time while you still have some claim to it. I’ll lead the next one.”
“And the Luna suite?” I asked, knowing full well she hadn’t packed a single possession.
“That’s for the benefit of us both,” She assured me. “Think of how much manual labor I’m saving us in the long run.”
I shouldn’t find her certainty that she’d win our challenge amusing, but I did. Even Isaac had a hint of humor in his eyes, though possibly at her expense knowing full well which of us would be left the victor once we entered the circle. If anything, I enjoyed her confidence and lack of animosity. It meant it wasn’t personal and gave me hope that the pack could still stand as one after the leadership change.
I was enjoying the newfound lightness beginning to spread over me until I looked at Grayson. My joy was replaced with a pang of sadness.
His eyes were fixed on the forest beyond us. His clouded expression was a needed reminder of what he still thought of as my impending demise. The warmth he’d emitted when he’d met my eyes in the clearing was slowly disappearing from view.
Don’t. Just stay with me even if it’s only for a little longer. Believe in me.
“Looks like the other twin just joined us,” I told Isaac under my breath. Grayson snapped out of whatever internal monologue he’d fallen prey to and refocused on us.
“The twins have been here for a while now.”
“They’re not who I was referring to.” I forced a smile to my face and gestured to the front of the clearing. “Shall we?”
He nodded his assent and started moving forward. I took a step to join him when Isaac gently grabbed my elbow and said, “Give him time. When you win the Rite he’ll have nothing to doubt, and he’ll get over his hangups.”
I watched as Grayson’s back straightened, his next step taking a second longer than his previous, but he didn’t turn. I chose my next words for him.
“If it takes until then for him to believe in me after all this time, it’ll be too late. What good is a partner who has no faith in the other person?”
I hated him a little when he walked away from me.
I hated myself more for letting him.
I dropped down on the grassy bank beside the lake and leaned back on my elbows to take in the stars. Thousands were swirling overhead, and I soaked in the peace that seemed to emanate from their glow.
My first pack run was by all accounts, a success. There’d been a few grumblings from the odd person or two about how I could lead the run with Grayson if I couldn’t even shift, but they’d been silenced. Surprisingly, it was Grayson’s growl that had sounded in the air, not mine or Isaac’s. I’d barely paid them any mind knowing their doubts would be put to rest soon enough.
Shifters were fast in their animal form. I was faster.
Whether it was a goddess-given gift to compensate for my stolen shift or it was a demon-driven perk of the elemental blood running through my veins, I could move faster on two legs than Grayson and the others could run on four.
Grayson and I had recited the words spoken to open every pack run. They rang of unity, companionship, and trust in one another, and they were more than just words. It felt like the incantation sent sparks of magic radiating through the entire pack, leaving us with feelings of warmth and comfort. I couldn’t think of a time when a pack felt closer together except maybe a mating ceremony.
First Grayson, then others shifted and we’d taken off. I ran with Isaac’s leopard for a while and even played with a few others in the pack I hadn’t gotten to know yet. It was short lived. They’d quickly scattered when Kenna’s lion came to pounce beside me. Eventually she’d left me to chase a small black and white rabbit, and I’d made my escape.
I knew I should still be with the others building bonds, making memories, and all that, but I needed a break from pretending the weight pressing down on my shoulders didn’t exist. This was the perfect spot for forgetting.
The lake was completely still, not a single ripple to be seen. Its mirrored surface let the stars surround me from above and below. Streaks of light green and blue cut through the night sky and revealed a few clouds that had been hidden in the darkness.
What worries could remain here other than the inevitability of leaving it? There were no pack politics, no challenges, no threats, and—other than me—no demons. I laid fully back against the plush grass and let my eyes fall closed.
This was peace.
I don’t know how long I’d been lying there before I heard the soft pad of paws coming from behind me. I didn’t bother to open my eyes or look up. The pomegranate and leather scent had reached me before he’d taken his first step out of the tree line.
“Don’t think just because I have a soft spot for you I’m going to forget your other half betrayed me.” I said, sinking further into the grass and sighing.
Grayson’s wolf nuzzled the arm lying against my side until I lifted it. I felt more than heard him circle the spot a few times before lying beside me with his head on my stomach. I lowered my arm and stroked the soft fur covering his spine. It wasn’t the wolf’s fault the man showed poor judgment.
“He can’t be very happy with you for pulling him away from the pack tonight.”
The wolf huffed in answer.
“I take it you don’t care, then,” I said with a smile. “Just make sure you take accountability for your own choices. Let’s not give him one more thing he can blame on me.”
Then his whine reverberated against my torso. “Stop it,” I said, “That tickles.”
He whined again and I opened my eyes to see two green orbs looking back at me. I sighed and moved to scratch his head.
“What?” I asked. “Are you feeling ignored?”
This time the high-pitched sound made me smile as I trailed a finger down the bridge of his nose and back.
“You have my undivided attention,” I promised.
He clamored to his feet until he stood over me with his face in mine to lick my cheek.
“Don’t get your slobber on me, you know I hate that,” I wiped at my face laughing. He moved to do it again, but I shoved him off of me and sat up.
The wolf pounced around, tail wagging in excitement. He crouched down and then leaped into a pounce that sent us rolling through the grass along the lake’s edge.
“I win!” I had him on his back, shoulders pinned and neck bared. He showed no sign of caring with his head flung to one side and his tongue hanging to one side of his mouth. I rolled off of him, still smiling.
“I wish we were always like this,” I admitted. At that moment, I didn’t care that Grayson would understand my words alongside his wolf. Let him listen. Let him know that I knew the truth. Maybe then we could both stop pretending. “We used to be so close, but none of it was real, was it?”
The wolf pawed at my arm and huffed.
“Not you, buddy.” I turned onto my side and scratched behind his ear. “I know you and I are bonded for life.” He gave a happy yip and moved to snuggle in closer, but he froze halfway with a growl.
I’d heard the footsteps in the distance but hadn’t been concerned enough to check who was walking by. From what I could tell they weren’t headed in our direction, only passing through on whatever journey they were taking.
I flipped onto my stomach to see Eris, Fabian, and Asher a few meters beyond the tree line. Grayson’s wolf was tense beside me and still growling.
I pushed him over.
“Don’t be rude,” I chastised. “They haven’t done anything to you, and I like Eris a lot more than most of the people I’ve met at this school so far.”
The moon fox waved at me as she passed, but didn’t approach. Probably wise given the beast beside me had stopped growling but still looked ready to attack at the slightest hint of a threat. I returned her wave and dropped back to the ground, using my hands as a pillow.
“They’re gone,” I told him. “You can relax from the non-existent threat now.”
The wolf harrumphed and stood to watch another few moments before lying alongside me again, this time nuzzling his head against mine, burrowing it into the crook of my neck. The soft mewling sound that left him as he settled in had a different note to it than before, but I understood its meaning all the same.
“I know,” I acknowledged, leaning into him, “I missed you too.”