Chapter 33 #2
“I want to feel you choke me,” I said, the confession spilling out before I could stop it, shame spreading throughout my body fervently.
He didn’t recoil or hesitate. He didn’t sluff me off or shame me. Instead, he wrapped his arms around my back, drawing me in closer, grounding me. His fingers gently swept through my hair until his thumbs pressed reassuring circles into my shoulder blades.
“Fuck, Lennon,” he groaned. “You’re so perfect.”
Our lips collided.
The kiss desperately shattered through whatever restraint I’d been pretending to hold onto. Hunger pulsed through me. Just to be with Asher was lust-filled like I’d never experienced. I wanted him—needed him.
With Asher, there was a safety I had never known. He gifted me a sense of security I had wanted all my life.
He was safe. But not the safeness of settling. No. He was so much more. The kind you found once in a lifetime. The kind of safe you spent your entire life searching for. The kind of man who protected women. The kind of man who protected his people.
He was that.
A man who shielded what was his.
And somehow, he had chosen me.
“Fermati.”
Asher pulled back, his brows creased as he attempted to understand.
I couldn’t quite meet his eyes when I whispered, “My safe word.”
His hands reached for mine, intertwining our fingers and guiding them to his mouth. His lips brushed soft kisses over my knuckles. His eyes closed briefly, the gesture intimate between us.
An unspoken promise.
A flutter twirled inside my stomach, my core aching for him.
I stood and pulled him with me, leading him down the path toward the opening where the spring-fed water spread wide open.
A devious smile curved along my mouth. An old fantasy—dark and submerged—only reaching the surface, coaxed out by the way he handled me.
Carefully. Patiently. Like I was something worth preserving.
I walked faster, heart racing, heat rising inside me that wanted him now. I didn’t want to ration myself. I wanted to be free. I wanted to devour it. To devour him.
My desires had been chained down for so long—everything taken from me without permission.
But this?
This was different.
Asher wanted me, but only ever on my terms.
It made me want him all the more.
It made me want to offer him more.
When we reached the water’s edge, I stopped, breathless at the view stretching out before us.
“It’s so beautiful,” I whispered.
“Yes,” he said roughly, “you fucking are.”
Before I could roll my eyes, he swept me up into his arms. My legs wrapped around him like this was where I’d always belonged.
I was meant to be held by him. Meant to be taken care of by him.
He made me feel good in a way that felt like a gift I didn’t deserve—yet somehow, the only one I wanted as the end drew nearer.
The end was approaching. I couldn’t ask for a better gift than to face it with him.
His mouth claimed mine again, one hand cradling the back of my neck, pulling me closer as our kiss deepened—dancing together in a breathless rhythm.
“I need you, Lennon,” he murmured against my lips.
I nodded, panting. “I need you, Asher. Now. Until my last day.”
The finality of that statement seemed to land between us.
He pulled back just enough to show something more fragile beneath the surface, eyes hooded and heavy. He kissed me again—more carefully this time.
He carried me toward the shoreline, lowering us carefully until his feet slipped into the water. The cold crept upward as he sank, and when it reached my ass, I shrieked at the shock of it.
He laughed, the sound warm and playful, and rolled us gently so I lay half in the water and half on the sand. It was cold, the chill sharp against my skin.
He knew.
He knew I loved the contrast. The sting of it grounded me. Not too much. Never too much. It wasn’t who I was.
I needed the chill to make me feel safe.
As the waves shifted the water’s edge up onto the sand and drew back again, the rhythm threaded itself between us.
Asher lay over me, his weight warm against the chill of the lake. When our lips disconnected, he lingered above me, studying my face like he was committing it to memory. Like I was fleeting and could vanish at any given moment.
His fingers brushed a strand of hair from my cheek and tucked it gently behind my ear. His hand traced down the line of my neck, slow, reverent. There was something in his gaze—like he was lost in the beauty of the moment, lost in me.
I lifted my arms above my head, a quiet invitation to remove my top.
His answering smile was slow and dangerous. His movements stayed careful and attentive, as though I were both fragile and sacred all at once. He reached for the hem of my shirt and peeled it upward, taking care not to catch it against my face.
The cold air struck my bare breasts and hardened my nipples against the frigid waters. However, I didn’t feel exposed.
I felt sexy.
I felt liberated.
Desired.
His palm settled at my sternum and slid upward, lingering between my breasts until he fitted his palm gently around my neck.
He was careful to test the waters with his hand around my throat, not with pressure, but with a question in the touch.
Our eyes locked.
I nodded.
Between my legs, I felt him grow harder against me. His erection was stoking the heat already pooling low in my belly. I reached down between us, my hand slipping beneath the waistband of his sweats. I then wrapped my fingers around his thick member. He needed me now, just as much as I needed him.
Asher shoved his pants down his legs, as I did the same. There was no need for the prolonged buildup today—we were already there, already aching.
He lined himself up with my entrance, rubbing his tip between my slick folds before easing inside of me.
My wet lips parted with such ease, the tight space filling with only him.
My mouth fell open as the stretch at the fullness of him, and a soft groan escaped before I could stop it.
He rocked in and out of me, each measured thrust controlled, like he was lifting me to heaven as my body spiralled out of control.
Hovering over me, his gaze never disconnected with mine.
The tension between us thickened. I nodded, wordless, giving him permission for what we both wanted. Asher wasn’t the type to take this kind of thing lightly—he needed to ensure I felt safe. Something about that made me want him even more.
His hand braced itself in the sand beside my head while the other slid up to my body once more. He lingered between my breasts, lost in thought as he admired my creamy skin. Methodically, his palm climbed further up my chest until it settled around my throat.
I gulped saliva down, surprised by how much it turned me on. His soft breaths ghosted over my skin as he continued to rock into me, unhurried and controlled.
When his grip tightened around my throat, I tipped my head back, exposing more to him, ensuring he understood this is what I wanted. I felt intoxicated the way his cock became even more engorged at each squeeze of his fingers.
“Is that o—” he began, still checking.
I cut him off with a sharp slap across the face.
It startled him. Something dark and hungry flared in his eyes.
His thrusts became rougher, more demanding.
I caught his wrist and choked out, “You going to take that from me, Asher?”
An intense glaze washed over his pupils, the desire burning through him. He wanted to be challenged. His grip intensified, and a devious smirk curved in the creases in response.
My air supply was becoming fragile—limited. The broken cries that came out of my mouth were tampered with. This was turning him on. The way he drove his cock into me, filling me completely to the hilt was almost unbearable.
He shifted his weight, bracing himself higher over me, extending his arm so the pressure and grip around my throat tightened.
Fuck.
I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head as I sensed my orgasm crest. My legs went slack as I neared the pulsing, everything about to tense inside of me.
Before I could even understand what was happening, Asher pulled his dick out of me, immediately making the space feel empty. He grabbed me by the back of the neck, hoisting me up and spinning my head around so that I instinctively got on all fours.
He wasted no time before he curved himself against my back, biting down on my earlobe while he wrapped his arm around my neck. He entered me once again, filling my dripping core to the brink.
The sensation was overwhelming, and a guttural cry exited me as he thrust into my weakened pussy. I was soaked, not only from the water around us, but from the wetness he created in me. Asher turned me on, and I couldn’t help myself.
He pumped his cock into me relentlessly while I struggled to breathe. My nerve endings were in overdrive as I realized I couldn’t breathe. I tapped his arm.
Immediately, he loosened his hold. Without hesitation. No question. All while he continued to rock inside me.
“More,” I cried out to him.
He pushed my face down, changing our angle so that my ass was up high for him while he gripped my hips, bouncing in and out of me with such perfect force. The tide was washing in, and within seconds, it flooded my face, forcing me to hold my breath again.
“That’s right, my sexy fucking girl. Take this cock,” he groaned out through gritted teeth.
The water washed away, freeing me to breathe air momentarily. The next wave surged forward, splashing over my face again until it stole my breath. Asher grabbed my head and held it down in the water.
“Hold your breath, little siren,” he whispered. I did as I was told while he thrust hard into me again. The shock of it had every nerve ending stand at its peak.
The water washed away, providing me instant air.
“You want to come for me, don’t you?” Asher asked, knowing I was right there for him.
I nodded, face smearing against the sand.
“At the next tide, I want you to come for me,” he commanded me.
I nod. It was an answer to the unasked questions. This was okay.
This was what I wanted. And it truly fucking was. I had not felt this invigorated with sex before, and I never want it to end. It shattered whatever restraint I had left.
“Fuck yes, Asher. Please!” I screamed.
He held my face down, body tensed, as the tide crashed up, blocking my air. He continued to fuck me relentlessly. I couldn’t help it. I was choking on water while my pussy convulsed through an orgasm.
I was so lost in my own euphoria that when the feeling kept riding through me, I noticed that Asher was coming for me, too.
His control finally splintered as he groaned my name against my skin. I spat out water and screamed in pleasure with no regard.
When our orgasms finally came crashing down, Asher pulled me upright, leaning back on his haunches while he was still inside of me. His movements softened. Slowed.
The intensity of my high still rolled through me. It then faded into something warm. Protective. Primal. He slowed his thrusts as his arms wrapped around my front.
His lips brushed against the side of my neck while his hand smoothed over my damp hair. A tear slipped free before I could even realize it had formed. His thumb caressed my cheek, catching it from falling further.
“I’m here, Lennon,” he whispered, exuding a soft presence here with me.
Slowly, he withdrew from me and turned me into his chest. I wrapped myself around him without thinking, clinging onto him for dear life.
“No one’s ever made me feel that safe,” I murmured against his chest, hoping he understood the meaning of my words. “Thank you.”
He nodded, hoisting me up into his arms without a word and carrying me back to the campsite for the rest of the night to check off our bucket list item.
My mind flitted over an idea—a ridiculous idea—but an intrusive thought nonetheless.
A scary thought. Maybe one I’d never considered before.
Was this still about the bucket list?
Or had something changed?