Chapter Sixteen
The past
Clayton
I have laid down the ice with Elsie’s limo body in my arms, embracing her presence for every last second I get to have with her.
I stared up at the sky with a blank stare as I felt the silent tears run down my cheeks, I never prayed in my life but all I could mutter was that I wish god would break all the ice in the lake and let me sink down with Elsie in my arms. She was the only reason I have lived, the only person that I had.
We laid for hours until the sun rose for a new day, no one came for our help, or saw us as I carried her and walked back to her parents house.
My legs felt weak as I limped the way back, not daring to look elsewhere than her face, carving every feature in my memories, so I can close my eyes every night and see her.
See my failure.
She called out for me to save her and I was too late, the cold shock to her body killed her, and I was the one who took her to the lake.
I filled all the snow around it in daisies, thinking it would make her happy and that it would be the perfect time to finally confess my feelings.
I spread her funeral flowers without realizing it.
Annette opened the front door and her smile crumbled into a sobbing mess when she fell to her knees and cradled Elsie’s body, her husband John looked in shock for a while then his face exploded in tears.
I never saw him cry, he always had a stoic expression on his face that only softens for his family.
Elsie loved him dearly, she didn’t know his real past. I blackmailed a police officer to let me into the station at night and I looked through all the citizens files until I found him.
His registered name is John Beaumont, he took his wife’s last name.
His real name is Koa Kozlov, he was sentenced in the Russian prison for years, but his crime wasn’t declared in the file.
I never told Elsie, I couldn’t bear to see her look at the man she considers safe as if he is a monster. She always talks about her parents as if they hang the sun everyday for her.
I have stood aside watching as her parents crumble from losing their precious daughter until her father let out his anger on me. He needed to blame someone for her death and I let him.
My face is a bruised mess, nose dislocated and lips swollen as he beat me to a bulb.
When I walked back home, I went straight up to my attic and lay on the mattress that doesn’t fit my body anymore.
I stare up at the wall for a while until a figure catches my attention in the corner of the attic, I sit up as I stare into the darkness. White glowing eyes stare back at me in the corner as strands of white hair curtain the face.
“You killed me, Clayton.” The figure hissed as I rub my eyes and look back again. It’s a shadow staring into my soul, one blink they’re now three, then five, then more and more as they surround me in the cramped attic.
A tear rolls down my cheek as I whisper back. “I’m so sorry, Elsie. I promise I won’t take you there again.”
The walls cave in as I struggle to breathe, the shadows start to disorient as their voices echo from every direction. I claw at the neckline of my sweater to breathe but the shadows wrap their hands around my throat l, choking me.
I struggle in their grip until I feel my body loosening and I fall into unconsciousness. Where I see Elsie falling into the lake, screaming for my name then the memory rewinds for what seems like the hundredth time.
My eyes flutter open as I find myself laying face down onto the floor. I look at the watch and find that I have been unconscious for two hours. Every part of my body aches as I lift myself up. I lean down to grab my glasses as I secure them over my crooked nose.
“You asshole, come down here!”
I rub my face as I hear my father calling out from downstairs.
When people age they mature but my parents reversed it.
I climb downstairs until I’m met face to face with my father, his lips snarling as he fists a couple of dollar bills and shoves them in my face.
I don’t bother pushing him away, my soul feels emptier than it ever was.
“What the fuck are we supposed to do with 5 dollars, huh? You haven’t got any money in a while.”
I stare at him blankly as his spit splutters on my cheek. My mother burns a cigar in her mouth as she watches the tv.
Breaking news, a 16 year old girl has fallen into the frozen lake which caused her body temperature to drop down dangerously and unfortunately resulted in her death. We deliver our deepest condolences to her family. Please stay safe everyone and rest in piece Elsie Beau—
My mother grabs the remote and changes the channel with an annoyed huff. “This damn news interrupted my show.” She turns her head slightly with her eyes still towards the tv. “Tyson, I have a client in an hour so shut your ass up for a bit.”
My father argues with her as the ringing in my ears explodes and I stare at the side of my mother’s face. She skipped Elsie’s death news as if it’s nothing, she didn’t bother to listen to the rest of Elsie’s name. They keep arguing over drugs and sex as my vision turns red.
My mother screams as I grab the glass ash tray and throw it onto the tv. The screen shatters as a variation of colors glitch onto the screen.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“You sick fuck! What have you done?!”
I don’t look at them as I grab the tv and launch it at them, they both yelp as they dodge it.
Before my father utters a word, I attack him.
We both tumble over the couch as I wrap my arms around his neck and shove him underneath me onto the ground.
My head turns to the side as he punches me.
I grab a shard of glass on the floor and shove it down into his cheek, he screams and wraps his hand frantically around my neck trying to choke me.
I spit down blood onto his face in disgust as I punch him rapidly. My mother holds my shoulders from behind me as she tries to pull me off him. I growl as I elbow her in the jaw and she cries out in pain.
I land a punch on his jaw, crackling it as I stand up and stride towards the kitchen counter, a knife calls out to me as I grab it and turn towards them.
My father tries to get up as I kick his face and he spits out blood onto the floor.
I grab the collar of his shirt, tilting his head up as his eyes meet mine.
“You are the sick fuck. You made me suffer everyday to live like a normal kid. You left me by a trash can in the middle of nowhere cause you’re not a man who can deal with the consequences of his actions.
You haven’t tried to get a job once, you complain and complain, yet you’re the miserable one.
You let your wife sell her body to get you money, and threatened me when I was a boy to sell me for pedophils.
You see, Tyson, I’m not the little boy that used to shake in fear from you.
I’m now the man who will carve out your filthy soul and cleanse this world off your kind.
” I lower the knife and settle it underneath her jaw, brushing his gulping adam’s apple.
“I can see the hatred in your eyes every day, boy.”
“Good, I want it to be the last thing you see, and I hope you carry the guilt as it weighs you down in your grave.”
I slash the knife, slitting his throat as he hangs limply like a puppet as I hold his hair.
Blood gushing out of his neck and mouth, spilling all over his clothes as I watch every single drop, my lips curling up with each passing second.
My body shivers in euphoria as I let him go and he falls onto a buddle of blood.
My mother's shaky sob catches my attention as I turn towards her slowly.
She scrambles back onto the floor until her back hits the wall.
“No, please. I would do anything.”
My grab tightens over the knife handle as blood drips down. I chuckle twistedly as I stand before her then lean down slightly, she backs away as much as possible, holding her palms up to me as a wall between us as her body shakes in fear.
I tilt my head. “Hmm, I know you would do anything to get what you want.” I swirl the knife before her teary eyes.
“I think of sparing you, but you know what I remember?” I stab the wall beside her abruptly as she shrieks, blood drips down her ear as I nicked it.
I inch closer to her face with a smile. “I remember how much I begged your dear husband to spare me and you didn’t bother to glance at me.
You let him torment my existence and all you thought about was how to get your drugs. ”
She shakes her head as her lips tremble. “No, no, I didn’t mean to.”
She shuts up as I glide the knife over her lips.
“I hate liars.” I slash her mouth open as her eyes widen then shove the knife into her mouth.
Blood spills out of her onto my face as I give her a toothy grin.
Her body falls limp to the side as I walk around the living room, adjusting my blood smeared glasses.
I whistle a tune as I grab the vodka bottle and other alcohols and spill their contents onto both their bodies.
My bloody footprints decorate the floors as I stand in the front foor way and look over my work.
The lighter cold against my grip as I open it and watch the flame sparking to life.
“Enjoy the taste of hell.”
I scoff and throw the lighter onto the ground as the flames spread over the house and onto their bodies, eating away my misery as I close the door and stand in the front yard watching all my memories turn to ashes. A weight lifts off my chest as I take a deep breath. I’m finally free of my burden.
I put my hands in my pockets and walk away into the foggy night with my bloody clothes and nothing to own.