34. Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Four
Hugo
A nd my time’s almost up.
For a fraction of a second, I thought Axel meant he was dying or something like that.
He held up his phone. “Ed and Pauletta have me on a tight leash until after tomorrow night’s performance. Well, maybe even longer than that—we’ll see what’s negotiated. They don’t want a repeat of last year when I almost missed the rehearsal.”
I eyed him.
“They want me to stay out of trouble.”
“And I’m trouble?”
Slowly, he advanced toward me. “You’re the best kind of trouble.” He grasped the front of my T-shirt and yanked me toward him.
I went willingly.
Our mouths crashed together.
His grip loosened, then he ran his hands up my chest. Farther still to my cheeks—all the while eliciting little shocks of electricity arcing through me. He scraped his fingers through my beard, then reached behind my neck to snag the hair at the back of my neck. He tugged.
I thrust my aching cock against him. Seeking friction. Seeking satisfaction. Seeking more than I had the right to ask for—yet doing it anyway.
His grip tightened.
Remembering how much he’d liked this before, I replicated his actions. I gently grasped some of his hair and tugged—careful to not mess with his gorgeous dreads.
In turn, he thrust his hard cock against mine.
A soft whistle had us pulling apart.
“Guys, there’s event security hovering ten feet away, get a… Axel? Axel Townsend? Oh hey, I’m Griffin. I’m looking forward to your show tomorrow night. Big fan.”
I didn’t know this middle-aged guy—and wasn’t thrilled about the interruption—but I had been about to offer to blow Axel again. Behind the food truck no less. Or better, I would’ve dragged him back to my tent.
Axel’s phone buzzed. “Oh, shit.” He glanced at me.
I read his expression as rueful, regretful, and a little lusty.
He turned back to Griffin. “You’re performing Sunday, right? We’re sticking around to see all the shows. Can’t wait to see you, and Chaser Lost, of course.”
The guy grinned. “Thanks. Well, uh, sorry to interrupt. I just figured y’all wouldn’t want to have security find you…”
“We’d have kept our pants on,” Axel assured him. “Well, probably.”
They laughed.
Heat crept into my cheeks. Wait, fuck, is that Griffin Marsh?
Griffin waved and sauntered off.
I let out a breath.
Axel’s phone buzzed yet again.
“That seems excessive.”
“Well, I kind of haven’t responded.” He tapped away for about thirty seconds. “That’s bought me time.”
“Does having them on you all the time feel restrictive?”
“Oh, I usually have plenty of latitude. Just…like I said, last year I almost missed rehearsal because I ran into you. They’re…concerned.”
“Because they know I’m here.”
“And that I’m still hung up on you.” He eyed me. “Yeah. Okay…one more for the road.”
This time, he took me in an embrace, wrapped his arms around me, and pressed a kiss to my cheeks. The touching embrace felt more intimate than anything we’d ever done.
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes. “This feels like goodbye.” I barely recognized my hoarse whisper.
“This is hello again .” He released me gently and took a step back. “You’ll be the ruination of me.” Lasciviously, he looked me up and down. “But what a way to go. Stick with me, Hugo. Trust me. This is not an ending. We’ll talk soon.” With that, he slipped between the trucks and was gone.
My phone buzzed.
Curious, I pulled it out of my back pocket.
— You get laid yet? —
Fucking Renee.
I sent back a flurry of nonsensical emojis—very careful to leave out eggplants and peaches—and followed my nose and growling stomach to find a late-night snack.
Less than twenty-four hours later, I stood near the front of the crowd, having sought out this spot early. Although the sun was long gone, the press of bodies kept me plenty warm. Flightless had just given an electric performance, and the crowd buzzed.
The Kiwi band had been truly remarkable, and the fiddle music had gone over great with the crowd. And the last song? When Jared had kissed Owen’s hand? My mind had been a little blown. The open show of affection. The love clearly returned.
As the band had sung, the sun had slowly started to set. It hung with a particular red glow that was just stunning. I remembered my final morning here last year—that awful, horrible, terrible morning. And the stunning pinks and purples of the dawn. Might we get something like that tonight for sunset? Pink-hued clouds to round out what was turning out to be a pretty fucking amazing day.
Grindstone’s roadies, along with a couple of people I’d pegged as stage crew, swapped out equipment.
My stomach clenched. Yes, I was going to see Axel perform again. I’d attended the performance at the PNE in early September. Would’ve been weird for the music teacher of the school for whom the money was being raised not to been there. Axel and I kept a significant distance that night. Like at no time could a photographer have gotten us both in the same picture. Pauletta had ensured that, and Merkerson, although annoyed, had gone along with her demands.
He wanted publicity.
She wanted sanity.
Thank God, she won.
The stage sat empty for a moment before the band took their positions.
The crowd went nuts. Hoots, hollers, cheers, and shouts percolated up around me. People were so excited for this act. That enthusiasm nearly took my breath away because I remembered the two gangly teenagers who’d shown up in my grade-nine music class.
“Hello Rocktoberfest!” Axel’s voice rang out.
“Hey Canadian!” Some voice from behind me shouted back.
Axel grinned. “See, our reputation precedes us. You remember from last year. Since all Canadians know each other, we should meet up later.”
“I love you!” A woman’s piercing scream carried clear across the audience, and everyone laughed.
“Ah, a genuine fan.” He grinned. “I’m sorry to tell you that everyone on this stage is taken.”
Boos rang out through the crowd.
Axel held up his hands as if to stem the tide of criticism. “But you can always keep us in your fantasies.”
Big Mac strummed a chord on his bass, and the band broke into a raucous new song I hadn’t heard before.
Murmurs broke out across the crowd as they realized the song wasn’t a familiar one.
Once Axel started singing, though, we were all captured under his spell. His voice held a melodic quality that I’d rarely heard. He enunciated each word clearly, and yet also hit the notes with strength. The words registered with me. Fantasizing about someone. Worrying about whether they would live up to that image. Meeting them and discovering they did.
Then his previous words hit me. Everyone on this stage is taken.
I knew Axel. No way would he have kissed me like that last night and then trotted off to someone else’s bed. So was he just delivering a line or did he mean he was mine and I was his?
The end of the song brought more loud hoots and shouts from the crowd as well as thunderous applause.
This time, Ed stepped up to the mic. “Now, Black Rock, we need you to be kind.”
“We love you too!” Another disembodied voice.
“My fiancé will be happy to hear that.” He turned toward offstage. “Thornton, baby, you want to come on stage?” After a brief pause, he turned to the audience appearing dejected. “He’s shy.”
The audience roared with laughter.
Ed stepped closer to the mic. “So, recently some treasures from Axel’s past came to light.”
“That he’s gay?” A woman’s voice rang out. Her tone was enthusiastic rather than unkind.
“Bi,” Axel quickly corrected. “I’m an equal-opportunity guy…even if I am spoken for.” He scanned the crowd and his gaze settled on me.
Or at least it felt that way to me. Surely with the tens of thousands of fans, he couldn’t possibly have spotted me. That only happened in the movies.
“Axel’s past can be a dangerous thing.” Ed grinned. “But this surprise shows his sweet side.”
Several aw and sweet carried through the crowd.
“Axel’s high school music teacher kept all of his compositions from back then.”
My heart seized. I hadn’t seen this coming.
“Anyway, with the help of some professionals—”
Meg beat her drum, Songbird hit a key, and Big Mac strummed a chord.
“—and others…” Ed pointed to himself. And scanned the crowd.
Me. He meant me. And the orchestrations I’d written. Wow.
“We’re debuting one of the songs tonight and in order to do it properly, we’ve invited a young woman from our old high school to sing for you tonight. Her name is Marley, and we promised you’d be kind to her.”
The audience erupted into cheers as Marley stepped onto the stage with a mic in her hand.
She glanced at Ed who gestured she should wave.
This was all for show. She’d been performing for years. Hell, I knew her—she likely wasn’t even nervous.
Obligingly, she waved.
The audience waved back.
When the noise died down, Meg started a beat.
Then Songbird added her keyboard.
Finally, Big Mac and Ed added guitar.
My heart caught in my throat. I’d played this song over and over again during the past ten years. Adding and taking things away…trying to make it perfect.
The version the band played now wasn’t quite what I’d envisioned. Truly, their performance of the material was better than anything I could’ve imagined.
Marley sang the first line.
The crowd lost their collective shit.
Her voice carried clear across the chaos.
The audience, judging by the comments around me, realized this young woman had genuine talent. That she wasn’t just window dressing or nostalgia for a song. She was the real deal.
My mind flashed to her father who was backstage. The pride he must’ve been feeling for her daughter threatened to bring me to my knees. This. This was why I taught. This was why I showed up every day. This was why I was okay with not having kids of my own.
The song ended with Axel, Big Mac, and Ed bowing toward Marley as she held the last note.
When she finally cut the sound, the place shook with the applause
Even she appeared momentarily startled at the noise.
My ears rang—and probably would for days.
And I didn’t give a shit.
She waved, bowed, and booted it off the stage.
The conversations around me were all about this dynamo and how cool was it that she’d come to Black Rock and…a bunch of other stuff. I tried to grasp onto the threads of the conversations, but Ed strummed a chord and the band was off with “We Need to do Better”. Soon, Big Mac was performing his amazing guitar solo. They followed that with “Day’s Pay for Day’s Labor”. Another crowd pleaser and back to their rock roots.
When the reverb ended on that song, Axel grinned. “We have a new song for you tonight.”
More cheers. More laughter. More shouts.
“This is “In Another Life”.”
Ah, so not one of his teenage angsty songs. Good to know.
I was just a boy when I first met
you everything was a blur
caught in the noise in need of rescue
wishing to be heard
you held out your hands of course I took them
thinking is this meant to be
if only you knew how much I needed you
or what you meant to me
A rock lodged firmly in my throat. Someone on the outside might not know, but I didn’t have a single doubt he was singing this for me.
For us.
Audience members held up lighters and cell phones. This torch song obviously was touching more than just my own heart.
I know you meant, what you said
it’s not the time
but in another world or a different life
you are mine
is there something I'm not understanding
about how this all works
if love is a story some are happy
and others left to hurt
Jesus. He was killing me. I longed to run onstage and give him a hug. Tell him I wish I’d known then what I knew now. I might not have been able to soothe his pain, but I could’ve given him a safe space to vocalize it.
Except I would’ve been the last person he would’ve wanted to speak to. I’d lied by omission to him for four years.
you're stuck in my head like a melody
or some kind of catchy tune
alone in my bed I'm humming memories
that always rhyme with you
Frozen in time, you're a raindrop on my soul
our stories entwined I don’t want to let go
of this destiny made out of none but flesh and bone
tell me you are mine and I’ll finally feel at home
I know you meant, what you said
it’s not the time
but in another world or a different life
you are mine
Ed, who’d played acoustic guitar while Axel sang, held the last note.
For just a moment, the audience held their breath.
Then the noise grew deafening. Without an iota of a doubt, the audience clearly loved this new song.
Tears stung my eyes.
In another world, or a different life…you are mine .
Did that mean he didn’t consider me his? Or that I couldn’t claim him as my own? Or was he speaking about past pain? Here?
“Now we’re going to rock this place!” Ed nudged Axel, who appeared as stunned, with his wide eyes, as I was.
His gaze scanned the audience and lasered in on me. Tens of thousands of people and he somehow found me?
That felt fanciful.
Yet he pressed his fingers to his lips, pointed them my way, winked, and then grabbed his mic again. “Yes, we’re going to rock your world.”
A woman nudged me. “You’re the teacher.”
I winced.
Out of the blue, she gave me a huge hug.
Uncertain what to do, I eventually relaxed into the embrace. I wasn’t keen on strangers accosting me—and I certainly never did it to other people—but she got it. Not just who I was in Axel’s life…but that my life had just profoundly changed. Ninety-nine percent of the audience missed that exchange.
But I hadn’t.
“No, my bad.” An accented voice hit me as someone bumped into me.
I turned to find— “Owen? Of Flightless?”
He looked surprised I’d called him by name, and then grinned. “Sorry, still getting used to be being recognized. Yeah. We’ve snuck down here because we’re huge fans of Grindstone.”
Jared, who clung to his hand, also grinned. The dark-haired man was damn handsome. “What better way to enjoy the show?”
“You guys…” I sought the right words. “Your kind of talent…” I tried to keep my voice low so I wouldn’t attract attention to them. They were about Axel’s age and were beaming.
Owen cocked his head. “Hugo, right? You were Axel’s teacher?”
Heat raced to my cheeks as I nodded. “We weren’t involved—”
He waved his hand. “We read the stories. So you’re Canadian?”
I managed a smile. I’d likely never stop being defensive about whether or not Axel and I had been involved back when he was a teenager. “Yes. Very Canadian.”
“And you also taught Marley? Wow.” Owen had a clear avid curiosity.
I grinned. “Yeah, Marley’s my student.”
“We heard her as we were coming down. She’s seriously talented.”
“She is.”
“Do you think she’ll be playing with them regularly?” Jared asked.
A question I’d only asked myself a dozen times. “I honestly don’t know. If the song went over well with the crowd tonight, I do know they might put it on the next studio album.”
“We already own all their albums.” Owen nudged Jared. “But we’re going to have to buy their next one when it comes out.” They exchanged a look.
I couldn’t help thinking that they were getting lucky tonight. Or something. That kiss might’ve just…no, the chemistry and affection between the two was unmistakable. “The band will appreciate the sale.”
“We’re hoping we might run into them at some point this week. We’ve only been able to exchange a few words..”
Despite not having any idea of how the interaction had gone, I could confidently say, “I’m sure they’d love that. They’re…really down to earth.”
“And Axel’s in love.” Owen’s smile didn’t diminish. “If that new song was any indication.”
Heat flooded my cheeks and, fortunately, I was saved from having to answer because the song ended and the audience cheers drowned out anything I might’ve said.
We didn’t resume our conversation, but I was fine with that. The two men appeared completely enthralled with each other.
Yeah, that’s what love feels like.
I should know.
Yeah, I really did.
And I didn’t know if my life would ever be the same again after tonight—whatever the evening held.