42
After speaking to Dune, Will started to think about what he’d do if the worst-case scenario happened. If Gabriel was reported, they’d need to deny it. Given that Gabriel was friends with Leah, that could be used to explain his presence at the house. The only evidence actually linking them together were those texts. Gabriel was a lot smarter than Will, so he’d probably thought all of this out already, but just in case he was flustered, Will knew he had to remind him.
Will was a bundle of nerves when he got to after-school study. He was terrified that he’d walk into the classroom and there would be a replacement tutor waiting there instead of Gabriel. The relief he felt when he saw Gabriel standing by the board made his knees weak. He went to his desk with Cassie, and by the time he got there, Gabriel had turned and noticed his presence.
Their eyes met.
Gabriel looked worried. His gaze darted over every inch of Will’s body before the creases relaxed between his brows. Will wondered if he looked as terrified as he felt.
“Will?” Cassie prompted.
Gabriel and Will both turned away from each other as if their gazes were two repulsive forces. Will gripped the edge of his desk tightly. He couldn’t stare at Gabriel like that in class. If people noticed, that was just another piece of evidence that could be held against them.
“Hi.” Will greeted her. His voice came out scratchy.
“You’re white as a sheet,” Cassie said, concerned. “Do you want me to bring you to the nurse’s station?”
“No, thanks.” Will shook his head. “I’m not sick. I didn’t get much sleep last night is all.”
Cassie looked unconvinced. “Maybe you could take a nap?”
“I’m okay.”
Will needed to be here. He needed to talk to Gabriel. Even if it was only dropping him a note, so they didn’t talk in front of anyone, that would be enough.
The door opened halfway through the lesson and the principal walked in. Will tensed. The air in his lungs froze as the man’s eyes scanned the room until they landed on Will in the back. “Will,” the principal said with his gaze fixed on him. “Come with me please.”
Will stared at him. Fear clogged his airways, cutting off what he needed to breathe. He didn’t dare look at Gabriel.
Cassie nudged his shoulder. “Are you okay?” she whispered.
Everyone in the class turned to look at him.
“Will?” the principal repeated.
“Coming.” Will got out. His hands shook as he packed his books away. It sounded like some pages tore when he dropped them into his bag, but he didn’t care. He felt Gabriel watching him as he went by, and the desire to look back at him was only held down by the terror of being seen looking.
The principal closed the door and walked down the hall. Will followed with a few paces between them. They were heading in the direction of his office.
“What’s going on?” Will asked.
The principal paused to look behind him, and he cracked a smile. “Relax Will, nobody is mad at you.”
“Mad at me?”
“You’ve got enough going on," the principal said. “From what your father told me, that team has you under a strict training routine. No wonder you don’t have enough time for all your classes.”
His dad had called the principal. The principal was trying to have a conversation. Will was slow to pick up on the little cues, but he got there in the end. “I’m dropping maths?”
“Not entirely.” The principal tilted his head. “You still have to take foundation-level maths. You were aware of that when you signed the forms, weren’t you?”
What forms? This had to be his dad’s doing. His dad’s way of keeping him apart from Gabriel. Dropping to foundation-level maths meant there was no tutoring after school. Will had no idea what would happen if he threw a wrench in the plans, so he nodded. “I was. Just double checking, sir.”
*
After parting ways, Will lingered in the hall until it was empty, and then he doubled back to the study room. He waited until everyone was gone and the hallways were deserted before dashing into the room, quick, so that nobody would see him. Gabriel jumped and looked up from his desk.
Will closed the door. Gabriel crossed the distance between them in long strides. “Are you okay?” he asked urgently, his eyes scanning Will’s face.
That was the first thing he asked? “I’m fine.” Will breathed out. “I stayed outside the living room all night, but he didn’t call or text anyone. And I think if he told anyone we’d know by now.”
Gabriel looked grim. “The principal showed me the transfer form from class. When he walked in, I thought…”
“Me too,” Will nodded. “Dad must have done it. He didn’t say anything to me about it.”
Gabriel rubbed his mouth. He was pale, and against his dark hair, the contrast was startling.
“You need to delete my number,” Will said. “And all the messages between us.”
Gabriel moved across the room to sit against the edge of his desk. “I already have.”
The admission stung Will’s chest. Which was ridiculous because he’d literally just told Gabriel he needed to do that exact thing. How could he even worry about himself right now? “Me too. And Dune said he’ll cover for us. I’ll tell him all the times we’ve been together that someone might know about, and he’ll say I was with him.”
Gabriel moved his hands to grip the desk, and annoyance flashed in his eyes. “Dune—” He cut himself off by clenching his jaw. “To think, I can still get jealous even now.”
Will almost smiled.
“That’s good,” Gabriel said. “You should do that.”
Will went quiet as students passed by outside the door. He moved further into the room. There wasn’t anything else they could do to cover themselves. Not that Will could figure out. All that was left was…
“I tried to call you.” Gabriel’s head was bent down toward the ground. “I waited ‘til it was the middle of the night, and when you didn’t answer, I worried… I worried that something bad might have happened.”
“He took my phone.” Will examined Gabriel’s features. His long dark lashes, his strong jawline, his full lips, the bottom one bearing a little scar. He wondered if he’d get the chance to look at him again like this.
“I always thought your dad would be less of a problem than anyone else,” Gabriel said. “He’s so absent, and I thought for some reason that even if he knew…that maybe he wouldn’t care. But I guess he cares about you in his own way.”
Will blinked a few times before could process what Gabriel said. “He cares about me?” he repeated, incredulous.
Gabriel winced. “Look at it from his point of view. Any parent would have reacted that way to seeing a tutor kissing their kid.”
Will clenched his jaw. “He doesn’t care that you’re my tutor. He just cares that I might lose my volleyball contract. If he actually cared about me, he’d, oh I don’t know, act like an actual dad occasionally?”
“Will,” Gabriel said, taking his hand. There was something apologetic about the way he looked at Will.
Will clenched his fists to get a hold of himself. Losing his temper at Gabriel would help nobody. And he didn’t want to use this time being angry at him either. He let out the breath he’d been holding and noticed Gabriel relax as he did. “I don’t think he’ll report you,” Will admitted. “Because he doesn’t want anyone to know I was with you.”
Gabriel’s expression grew hard. His hold tightened, and he tugged Will forward.
Will wanted nothing more than to give in and fold into Gabriel’s arms. But they were at school. The door was unlocked. “If something happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” He pulled his hand from Gabriel’s and stepped back.
“We can—” Gabriel followed him.
“No, we can’t,” Will interrupted. His chest stung when Gabriel flinched. He wished that Gabriel would take the lead here. He wished Gabriel would say what needed to be said, instead of forcing Will to do it. “Even when I’m eighteen, he’ll always know. He’ll always be able to turn around and get you into trouble.”
Gabriel’s expression darkened. “We’ll be careful.”
“If anything happened to you…” Will trailed off. Even imagining it hurt. “I can’t, Gabriel. I wouldn’t be able to move past that.”
Gabriel’s shoulders heaved as if he’d been running. There was an edge of despair in his eyes that slowly hardened before he looked away from Will. He fixed his gaze on the board of maths sums. “What about this weekend?”
“This weekend?” Will echoed.
“Your meeting in Dublin.”
Will stared at the hard outline of Gabriel’s profile and the tension in his jaw. He hated this, Will understood. He hated it as much as Will did. Will knew he couldn’t be around Gabriel anymore, but he could make it easier for him.
“I’m still going to go,” Will shared. “I’m still going to go and talk to whoever Nicolas brings in, and I’m going to get better.”
Gabriel continued to glare at the maths sums.
“And I’ll have someone pick me up, so I don’t have to drive after,” Will continued. “And in a few months, I’ll move out of the house. I’ll be in Dublin, and I’ll be fine.”
Gabriel silently held out his hand.
Will had to close his eyes to ignore the beckoning gesture. “I’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about me at all.”
He heard fabric rustling together and light footsteps as Gabriel approached. Soft as a whisper, Gabriel placed his palms against Will’s cheeks. His thumbs brushed under his eyes, as if wiping away the tears that hadn’t yet begun to fall. Will wouldn’t let them fall. Not in front of Gabriel.
“I don’t want this,” Gabriel murmured.
“Me either.” Will slowly reached up to take hold of Gabriel’s wrists. “But we don’t have a choice.”
Gabriel resisted his touch. “I don’t believe you.” A pang went through Will’s chest. “And I don’t know how to walk away. I told you that I would be there for you. How do you expect me to just walk away after everything?” Gabriel moved Will backward until he could feel his back hitting the door. He kept his eyes sealed shut, too afraid to see the look in Gabriel’s eyes.
“I don’t know,” Will’s voice trembled. “But we have to. We both have to.”
Will needed Gabriel to do the same. He needed Gabriel to put distance between them as well. Because Will wasn’t strong, and if Gabriel kept pushing, he’d give in. And what if he gave in and something bad happened?
“Open your eyes,” Gabriel told him.
“No.”
“Open them.”
“No.”
Gabriel let out a harsh breath against his lips. “Will.” He softened his voice. “If this is it, if this is really the end, please let me see your eyes.”
Will sniffled and pushed Gabriel back a step. Only when there was distance between them did he glance up. His breath caught in his throat.
It wasn’t resistance he saw in Gabriel’s expression, or fire. He spoke as if he were objecting to them separating, but that wasn’t what Will saw in his expression. It was hurt. Dull and pained, but accepting.
And then the tears did start.
It was over. They both knew it.
Gabriel didn’t try to touch him. His gaze moved over Will, studying every part as if committing how he looked to memory. “I’m quitting,” Gabriel said.
“What?”
Footsteps echoed outside in the halls.
Will had to leave that second, or else people would see him coming from Gabriel’s room, alone. He turned on his heels, pulled open the door, and left, rushing to the nearest bathroom.
Will forced down the tears that threatened to take over, and he left the school building.