43
Will went through the next few days on autopilot. He thought he had to convince Gabriel to stay away from him, but he’d already done what he needed to make sure that happened. And somehow, despite knowing he was doing what was necessary, it hurt. It hurt a lot. Will wanted to fight for them. He wanted Gabriel to fight for them. But they couldn’t, and now everything felt utterly hopeless.
It was over.
“What brings you to this side of the tracks?” James joked.
Will flicked his pen at him, not responding to the comment. It was English, and Will couldn’t handle another silent hour spent around Jack. So, he’d sat with Michael.
“What did you get for question three?” Michael got James’ attention. “Come on, you said you’d help me.”
“When did I ever say that?” James didn’t even look toward him.
“After training on Monday. You said, and I quote, ‘You can look at mine, don’t even worry about it.’” Michael scowled at him. “You do have it done, don’t you?”
James shrugged. “It’s your own fault for believing me.”
Michael sat back with a groan. “If I don’t hand this up, I’ll get detention.”
“Me too.” James glanced toward Will. “You have it done, right?”
Will was too busy staring off into space to pay him any attention. “Maybe.”
“Check.”
Bending down to his bag seemed like too much effort, so Will just kicked it under the table to James. “Have at it,” he muttered.
Will tried to picture what his life would be like now. With just his dad, the man who took Gabriel from him. And his sister, who visited every now and then, though already her trips home were growing shorter because she had a life in the city. A life that didn’t involve Will. And what else? Volleyball? Will would rather have Gabriel. How would he hold up at training now? How would he get better when the guy who made him want that was gone?
“You need to take better care of your things.” Michael raised an eyebrow at the ripped textbooks placed down on his table. The maths book in particular was in a sorry state. Will drew it toward him with a sigh. It had taken a few tumbles lately. The front cover was hanging on by a thread.
“And you even have little brochures, that’s cute,” James remarked. “What is an eating disorder…’” he trailed off.
Will stopped messing with his maths book and looked up. James, ashen-faced, was sliding the brochure back into the pages of Will’s copy. Will must have put it into his bag when packing this morning without noticing.
Michael froze.
The silence of the class was a roar against Will’s ears. Will knew it was bad when James looked guilty. James said something to Michael, an attempt at conversation, an attempt to brush over what he’d just announced to the whole class. But it didn’t work. It stayed dead silent.
Will stood up. His chair scraped across the floor. Everyone was looking, and he could feel their gazes hot on his face. By the end of class, the entire school would know.
“I’m sorry,” James whispered as he passed his desk.
“It’s fine.” Will didn’t bring any of his stuff. He just left the room. His keys were in his pocket. That’s all he needed.
“Wait.” Cassie’s voice followed him down the hall.
Will paused, and she barrelled into him with a hug. His arms hung limply by his side. “It’s okay.” She rushed out. “I’ll get Dune. You can—”
“Cassie.” Will caught her shoulders and pushed her back. “I’m going home. You don’t need to do anything.”
Cassie shook her head. “Dune can help.”
“He can’t.”
“He can. He can make you feel better,” Cassie insisted. “He’s good at that.”
Dune was good at that. But it was too late for anything to console Will. It wasn’t possible to save this day. He just wanted to be somewhere else. “I don’t think anything can make me feel better right now.” Will stepped away from her. “Go back to class.”
Cassie didn’t follow him down the hall.
Will knew he shouldn’t drive, but he did. He figured that even if he crashed, it wouldn’t make him feel any worse. Nobody else was in the car. Nobody else would get hurt.
*
Will stared at his driveway in disbelief. His mom’s car was there. Nobody had told him she was stopping by the house today, and Will was pretty damn certain she wasn’t allowed to be in the house anymore. There was another car too, a black Nissan Duke that he didn’t recognise. He almost pulled out of the driveway and left. But he didn’t. Because where would he go?
His steps were heavy going into the house. Leah was in the hallway as he came in. Worry filled her face, and her arms were crossed in agitation. “Why are you home early?”
Will shrugged. “Bad day.” He glanced past her into the kitchen. His mom was sitting at the kitchen table with her gaze pointedly fixed away from him. A woman he’d never seen before was seated at the table dressed in a suit. There were papers scattered across the table.
“It might be better if you headed off for another little while,” Leah said tersely, anxiously glancing over her shoulder.
“I’ll just go to my room,” he answered.
“No.” His dad leaned out of the kitchen. “Come in. We haven’t gotten to hear your input on any of this yet.” He looked at the unfamiliar woman. “You wanted to talk to Will, didn’t you?”
The woman nodded. “That would speed this up.”
Leah stepped aside.
Will looked once more at the papers, and then at the woman. “You’re the divorce lawyer?”
“Yes.” She stood up and offered him a warm smile alongside her hand. “Call me Phoebe.”
“Will.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Phoebe said as she sat back down.
Will glanced at his mom. She was staring fixedly in the opposite direction, not even looking at him. Maybe that was better.
“I hear you’ve got a bright future ahead of you,” Phoebe said with a friendly smile.
“He sure does.” Dad clapped him over the shoulder. “As long as he keeps his head on straight and focuses on what matters, he’ll get there.”
Will blinked. Leah took a seat next to Mom, and Dad moved to take the spot next to Phoebe. Will stood at the front of the table. He needed to focus on what matters? He’ll get there? Where was there ?
“As I was saying, I have his future in mind.” Dad directed his voice toward Phoebe before facing Will. His eyes hardened into a warning. “And I’m making sure he does as well, no matter what.”
Phoebe let out a nervous laugh. “I can see you take his future very seriously.”
“I won’t let anyone ruin it.”
Something in Will’s chest gave way. Something snapped deep inside him. Something that would stay broken. Anger engulfed his senses. “I don’t have a future.” Will’s voice came out level and calm, despite the rage eating him from the inside out.
Four startled faces turned toward him—even his mom had looked.
“Will—” His dad began.
“What kind of future do you think I’ll have when I can hardly eat three bites of food in a day?” Will asked. “Or maybe an entire meal, depending on who I got to spend time with.” He gave his dad a look. One he hoped would let him know who it was he was talking about.
Nobody said a word. Just like always, none of them said a damn word, even when he was finally admitting it in a way that couldn’t be denied.
“I hate you all,” Will said. “I hate you all for letting me be like this. For not noticing, or being too preoccupied with hating me to care, or—” his voice faltered as he turned to Leah. This was the only one it hurt to say. “Or noticing and not doing anything about it.” His hands shook as badly as his voice. “And I’ve been bad for years. I’ve needed help for years, and none of you did anything about it. So that’s why none of you get a say in my future, or my life, or anything I need to do to feel better.”
Will’s chest heaved.
Leah was crying silently, but the others just stared at him in shock. Slowly, the surprise drained from his mom’s face, and her lower lip trembled. She turned her face down and covered it as a shudder went through her whole body, followed by a sob.
Will clenched his jaw and turned away. He waited. With his hand on the doorframe, he waited. And none of them said anything. He went to his car, started the engine, and left the house. Through the front door he’d left wide open, he saw that none of them followed him. None of them tried to stop him.