44
The only place Will wanted to go was scarcely two minutes away by car. But the distance didn’t matter, because he couldn’t go there. Not if it could endanger Gabriel. He just drove.
Will didn’t pay attention to where he was going, and when he finally stopped, he was parking next to Dune’s car at his house.
Will didn’t even knock. The door was yanked open and Dune came out, engulfing Will in a tight hug. “I went by your house,” he murmured to Will. “You weren’t there.”
“I was just driving around for a bit.” Will relaxed into Dune’s arms, who took in a sudden, sharp breath. “Are you okay?”
Will frowned.
“Fine,” Dune said, but it was pained. “Come inside.”
Will caught his wrist, his gaze trailing down to the back of Dune’s hands. His knuckles were discoloured. Dune snatched his hand back, stuffing it into his pocket, but Will had already seen. “What happened?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Dune,” Will reached for his hand again. “What happened?”
“I’d like to know that as well.” The voice belonged to Mr Coyne. He was waiting in the hallway with his arms crossed.
Dune immediately looked at the ground. “It was nothing, Dad.”
“That’s not what the principal told me,” Mr Coyne said in a stern voice.
Dune fought someone at school? Will racked his brain for only a moment, and he came to the answer. “You didn’t,” he said softly. The look Dune gave said he had. “James didn’t do it on purpose.”
“You know what that fight was about?” Mr Coyne turned his attention to Will. It wasn’t an accusatory look, though it was far from warm and inviting.
Will understood why Dune had lowered his head, because he wanted to do the same. Instead, he nodded.
Mr Coyne shot an annoyed look between the two of them. “Dune, you can’t fly off the handle because someone has a go at your boyfriend.”
Dune clenched his fists. “James deserved it.” He snapped back.
Mr Coyne straightened up. “Will, I’d like it if you could excuse us.”
“Yes, sir.” Will backed away.
Dune’s hand shot out, grabbing Will’s wrist. “He’s not leaving.”
“Dune—”
“He’s not leaving,” Dune insisted stubbornly. “And if you make him go, I’m going with him.”
Will stood there, frozen. He didn’t want Dune to fight with his dad because of him. But Will didn’t want to be alone. And if Dune was willing to stay with him, Will didn’t want to tell him he’d leave.
Mr Coyne shook his head. “We’re talking about this later.” He went down the hall without another word.
Dune relaxed.
“Dune…”
“Come on.” Dune slipped his grip from Will’s wrist to his hand and led him upstairs. They went to the couch, and Dune finally let Will examine his hands.
“You didn’t need to do that.” Will winced at the bruising. “James can be an asshole, but this time it wasn’t on purpose.”
“On purpose or not," Dune’s voice hardened, “he brought that on himself.”
Will only had to glance at the rigidness of Dune’s features to know that he wouldn’t convince him. He sighed and turned his gaze to the blank TV. “How did you find out?”
“Cassie barged into my class and called me out,” Dune explained. “I tried to find you, but I found James first. You weren’t at your house, and I swung by O’Connor’s, but your car wasn’t there either. I wanted to keep looking for you, but I thought you might come here.”
“I didn’t know where else to go,” Will said.
Dune put his arm over Will’s shoulders and pulled him in close. “It’s going to be okay,” he reassured him. “I’ll make sure nobody gives you any trouble.”
Will closed his eyes. “Nobody’s going to give me trouble.” That wasn’t what the problem was. It was the fact that everyone would know about him. They’d know he wasn’t okay. They’d know there was something wrong with him. “How am I meant to go back, after that?”
“I’ll be there,” Dune answered. “I’ll have your back. And the team is there for you. And Cassie.”
Will squeezed his eyes tighter and leaned into Dune. He rubbed his back, reassuring Will over and over that it would be okay. Will wondered how he’d never realised how Dune felt before. How he never saw that Dune cared about him.
“How long have you known about me?” Will asked.
Dune hesitated before he started speaking. “I never knew for sure. I noticed how careful you were about what you would eat, but I used to just think it was because you only liked healthy food. Sometimes you’d look so tired that I’d wonder if you were sick.”
“Starving does that to you,” Will said softly.
“I didn’t know what to do,” Dune admitted. “I wanted to be there for you, but I was afraid that bringing it up would only push you away. I’m sorry. I should have done more.”
“It’s okay.” Will shook his head. “It wasn’t up to you to do something about it. That’s on me.”
“It’s not on you either,” Dune argued. “And I’m glad that you’re getting help, or at least looking into it. I’m not sure what that brochure means, but it’s a good thing. I want you to know that I’m here if you need me. Just ask.”
Will straightened up, putting enough distance between them so that he could see Dune. “What did I do to deserve a friend like you?” he asked.
Dune smiled, but there was an edge of unhappiness in the gesture.
Will knew why. Because Dune’s feelings for him weren’t ones of friendship. He thought about Gabriel’s offer to pick up Will from training on Saturday and knew, if he asked, Dune would do it as well. Dune would be there for him and listen to him where his family wouldn’t. And even when Gabriel left, Dune would still be here. And even though it wasn’t Dune that made Will want to get better, why couldn’t it be him that helped him get there?
“Will?” Dune said in confusion.
Will cupped his smooth cheek and kissed him. Dune’s breath caught, then shuddered out as Will climbed onto his lap. Dune mumbled something against Will’s lips, but he couldn’t understand him.
Will just kissed, and Dune kissed him back, his hands slipping up Will’s sides onto his shoulders. Dune took a firm hold of him and pushed back. “Will, stop it.” He breathed out roughly.
“Stop?” Will asked. “I thought you wanted to kiss me?”
“I do.” Dune stared up at him with his lower lip between his teeth. “I do, Will. But I don’t want you like this.”
Will stared at Dune in despair. “Like what?”
“Crying, Will,” Dune said, upset. “I don’t want you to kiss me if it makes you cry.”
Will sniffled and glanced away. “I just need a second.”
“No,” Dune said. “You’re in love with Gabriel. That won’t change in a second.”
Dune helped him slip off his lap, and Will sat back with his head bowed down. Tears spilled out down his cheeks. The dam had finally broken. “I can’t do this alone,” Will choked out. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”
“You aren’t alone.” Dune placed his hand on his back. “I’m not here with the condition that you return my feelings. I’m here because I care.”
“It’s not fair to you.”
“I care about you,” Dune insisted. “And it’s okay that you don’t feel the same.”
“I do care about you.”
“I know,” Dune said. “But we both know that’s not what I mean.”
Will stared at the ground as he tried to calm himself, but now that his instability had been let loose, he couldn’t regain control. Dune stayed quiet until Will’s strangled gasps became the actual inhalation of air.
“You know," Dune began, “you could still talk to him.”
“I can’t.”
“Put his name down as someone on the soccer team,” Dune continued. “Put a lock on your phone. Nobody would have to know.”
Will squeezed his eyes closed. “He’s quitting. He’s moving on.”
“He’s not moving on, ” Dune said. “He was looking for you at school.”
Will glanced at Dune. “What do you mean?”
“At after-school maths,” Dune said. “And he didn’t look like a guy who was moving on.”
Will’s throat tightened again. “He heard what happened?”
“He must have.”
Will wondered how worried that must have made him.
“Given the circumstances, he couldn’t exactly go over to your house,” Dune pointed out.
Will didn’t say anything.
Dune sighed. “Why am I even sticking up for him?”
“Yeah,” Will agreed. “Why are you?”
He wasn’t expecting an answer. Dune was quiet for long enough that Will thought he wouldn’t speak. “You seem happy with him.”
Will tilted his head to examine Dune. He was staring straight ahead at the blank TV with a faraway expression. “And you’ve never pursued anyone before him. If he’s someone you can be brave around, doesn’t that mean he’s good for you?”
When Dune looked at Will, there was a bitter edge to his gaze.
“I didn’t know how you felt,” Will whispered.
“You didn’t need to know how he felt to want him,” Dune said back. “Or to go after him.”
Will couldn’t say anything. Gabriel had captivated Will from the moment they’d met, and Will was always able to be the person he wanted to be around him. And he loved him. And he wanted them to be together. And Dune knew that. He knew that Will didn’t return his feelings, and he never would.
“You make me feel good as well,” Will said quietly.
“But I’ve never been the one you liked.” Dune shrugged. He diverted his gaze, obviously trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. “Even before Gabriel, it was Jack. Even when I was next to you. Even when we were intimate.”
“Dune.” Will reached for him, his heart breaking all over again.
“It’s okay.” Dune avoided him by standing up and stepping away from the couch. “I’ve known for a long time that you didn’t feel the same. But, do me a favour.” He offered Will a shaky smile. “Don’t try to kiss me. I don’t think I have it in me to refuse you more than once. I’m going to get us drinks.”
Will watched Dune leave the room and saw the tremble in his hands. He’d left to compose himself. And Will knew that he’d back in five minutes to comfort Will for as long as he needed to. Tears welled in his eyes again. Who would comfort Dune?