24. Chapter Twenty-Four
He really just disappeared.
I thought maybe he would attempt to come see me again while I was still in the hospital, but now I’m walking on crutches back out into the fresh air with Savanna next to me and Easton still hasn’t made another appearance.
He’s been MIA since he decided to tell me he loved me, then broke me in a way I didn’t think was possible right after a car accident. I shake my head, then slowly follow Savanna over the crosswalk to her car.
My head is still aching, but not nearly as bad as it was when I first woke up. I’ve got to deal with crutches for a few more weeks, which sucks, but anything is better than being stuck in a hospital bed.
Savanna helps me into the passenger seat before grabbing my crutches and throwing them onto her back seat. When she puts her seatbelt on, I can’t help but wish Easton was the one in the driver’s seat, just so I could give him a piece of my mind. He didn’t even bother sticking around for me to come to terms with what he said and tell him how I felt.
“Let’s get you home,” Savanna says with a small smile.
I only blink at her before turning my attention out the window. It’s been a few days and Savanna knows how hurt I am over everything, so she’s been walking on eggshells around me which is infuriating. Knowing my best friend, I’m sure she has plenty that she’d like to say, but she’s too scared to actually say it.
She probably doesn’t want me to freak out since I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. The one good thing that came out of being stuck in the hospital was when Bethany showed up to pay me a visit. She sobbed for a good twenty minutes while I held her on the bed, then she started telling me about what she’s been up to since I’ve been in the hospital.
It didn’t take long for the hole in my heart to fill back up as she talked animatedly about everything. As I listened, I wondered why I ever decided it was a good idea to leave in the first place. I’d thought that I had gotten away with not talking about it, but after a few minutes of Bethany sitting next to me silently, she finally looked up at me and asked why I left without telling her.
How am I supposed to tell a girl who I’ve come to view as my own child, that I couldn’t stand being around her father without feeling like my heart was cracking? That thinking about living a life in this town and watching the two of them together, knowing I’d never be beside them, was excruciating?
I only told her that it was what I needed to do, then let her know that I’m not going anywhere again. If this accident helped me with anything, it was to show me that leaving was not what I needed to be doing. Maple Creek is where I’m meant to be. I’ll learn to live with seeing Easton and Bethany around and power through the hurt I’m certain I’ll feel.
“Autumn.”
Savanna’s voice cuts into my thoughts and I look over at her, finding her worried gaze on me. “Yeah?”
She brushes a piece of her hair back and sighs. “We’re here.”
When I look back out the window, her large house sits in front of us and I blow out a rough breath. I never should’ve let my lease go; at least then I’d be able to go to a house that is actually mine rather than taking up residence in Savanna’s again. Without a word, I push the passenger door open and reach for my crutches in the back.
Savanna’s quickly in front of me, her hand held out to help me, but I merely glance at it before lifting myself out of the car. “I can get out myself,” I rasp out much more harshly than intended and I squeeze my eyes shut.
This is what Savanna has been dealing with since Easton never showed back up. My attitude just won’t stop and since she’s the one who’s been taking care of me, she’s been getting the brunt of my frustration. She frowns, but nods and heads up the front steps to get the door open for me while I silently follow.
It’s quiet inside and I suck in a relieved breath. If Dawson started babying me, I might scream, so the idea of him being at work right now is a godsend. Savanna kicks her shoes off, then hurries into the living room where she starts fluffing pillows like I’m a damn child and I roll my eyes at her. “I’m not a child, Sav.”
She darts her gaze to mine and chuckles, her cheeks turning an odd shade of pink. “Right, sorry.” I thought she would let everything go, but she throws a pillow onto the couch and shakes her head. “Will you talk to me?”
“Not right now,” I grumble while making my way into the living room. “I’m really tired.”
She frowns, then narrows her eyes at me. “Well, tough, you slept just before we left the hospital and you aren’t using that excuse anymore.” She pats the cushion next to her and I gingerly sit down, careful not to knock my cast on the coffee table in front of us. “Just talk to me, Autumn.”
I’ve refrained from talking about anything since she started sitting in the hospital with me. She only left when visiting hours ended before showing back up the next morning. I guess I should’ve known I wouldn’t be able to get away with it for much longer. “If I talk, will you leave me alone?”
All I want is some time by myself, to sit here and stew in my misery alone like I wish I could’ve done in the hospital.
She shrugs. “Sure. I’ve got to get some work done before Dawson gets home anyway. Apparently he’s been missing me so much that he planned a date night for us tonight.”
That’s a relief. I’ll have the whole place to myself later. “What do you want to know?”
I’m not even sure what I can tell Savanna that I haven’t already. She knows how I feel about her brother. She knew before I went to work for him, so is there really anything else that I can tell her?
“Just, talk to me about how you’re feeling.”
“Is that really necessary?”
She scowls at me. “When you’re taking all that hurt out on me? Yes, it’s very necessary. You’re lucky you already banged yourself up, or I’d do it to you myself.”
I can’t exactly blame her for that. “Fine. I’m frustrated and hurt, Sav. Easton confessed his love for me, then decided that love wasn’t enough before even giving us a real chance.”
“Trust me, I’ve given him a piece of my own mind over that every day. I wish he’d let that fear go and listen to his heart.”
I shrug.
Savanna chews on the inside of her cheek before she takes a deep breath and looks at me. “Are you planning on leaving once you’re all healed up?”
“No.” As much as it will hurt to be here, I know now that this is where I’m meant to be. Surrounded by people who love and care for me but who also don’t know how to mind their own damn business. “I’m here to stay, I promise.”
She smiles at that and wraps her arms around me gently, not wanting to hurt me anymore than I already am. “I hated the idea of you being gone.”
“Honestly?” I say with a smile of my own. “Me too.”
“So why did you go?”
“The idea of seeing him around hurts too much, but I don’t want that to drive me away from the one place I feel most at home.” Those are not the words I had ever expected to hear myself say, but I can’t deny how right they feel. I’ve clung to the idea of leaving for so long that I didn’t stop to think about how wrong it was. “Do you think Bethany will forgive me?”
Savanna scoffs. “That girl has already forgotten about it and is planning another girls’ night for the three of us while you get better. I think you’re good.”
“And Easton?”
It isn’t lost on me that maybe the reason Easton won’t give us a chance is because I left the way I did. I had no intention of saying anything to him and only planned on speaking to Bethany once I was far enough away, which obviously hurt him more than I thought it would. That doesn’t make what he did okay, but it doesn’t mean I can’t understand a little bit of where he’s coming from.
“I think he’ll be okay,” Savanna says. “I can’t believe he did that to you.”
I place my hand over hers and give it a gentle squeeze, then shrug my shoulders. “He has his reasons, even if they don’t make sense to any of us.”
The more I think about it, the more I wonder if I’m the reason he won’t take the big leap. What if he’s worried I’ll keep trying to leave town? It’s not like my leaving was something that I kept to myself; he knew before I even went to work for him that I had plans on leaving. Maybe he wants more stability for him and Bethany which would make sense. It also doesn’t help that I got into a car accident, which is what took Bethany’s mother away from her, and if I hadn’t chosen to leave, the accident never would’ve happened.
Is that what he’s been thinking?
“I think I want to fight for him, Sav. Show him that I’m here to stay and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want to do? I can’t promise that he’s going to open his arms to you, Autumn, not with that fear still taking hold of him.”
“What kind of person would I be if I claimed to love him and watched him fall without showing him I’ll stick by his side through it all?”
I never should’ve walked away from him. He’s going through a lot and if I love him as much as I claim, I would be by his side encouraging him. It’s what I should’ve done from the beginning and exactly what I’m going to do now. He can kick me off his front porch all he wants, but I’ll sit outside his house until he finally lets me inside.
Savanna hugs me tighter against her and smiles. “Well, when you put it that way.” A spark lights in her eyes and she nudges me with her shoulder. “We could be sisters, you know?”
“Babe, we are sisters.”
“True, but this could be much more permanent.”
With that, I lean forward and grab the remote while leaning back against the couch. Savanna lifts up and gives me another quick hug before walking away to get her work done, leaving me alone to think about how I intend to win Easton over.
Life is too short to let love pass you by, so I’m going to do everything I can to show Easton that I’m here to stay. The only thing I have to hope is that he’ll kick that fear to the curb and give us a chance.