Chapter 17
CROSSES THE LINE
The week had flown by with Arden dancing on clouds. Or so it felt that way.
That kiss in the parking lot... perfection.
She’d been dreaming of it since she and Blaze first got their flirt on. But getting to experience it, yeah, that was something else!
She had seen little of him earlier this week at work, as he’d been off after his night rotation and hadn’t picked up any extra shifts. She supposed that made sense that he’d have to catch up on sleep and the rest of the things going on in his life.
His brother was getting married on Sunday too, so she knew he was off for the weekend. One thing they’d talked about.
They visited twice when he came down to chat while Gracie was sleeping. The two of them sitting on the patio, shielded from any eyes in the neighborhood, quietly conversing about their lives and days.
More dates, only subdued.
But there was kissing when he left. That was not so subdued.
Her body was telling her everything she’d been missing for years.
Her heart in a tight race with it.
She never thought she’d find those feelings again with a man, but was happy to prove so many wrong, that she wasn’t cold. She wasn’t distant.
She wasn’t broken!
Something she’d felt for way too long.
“Mom, can we go out to dinner tonight?” Gracie asked when she stopped to get her at daycare.
“You know what? That sounds like a lot of fun.”
“Let’s go now,” Gracie said. “If we go home first, you’ll change your mind.”
She wanted to argue that, but it had happened before.
“Okay. It’s Friday, let’s go now.”
“Yes,” Gracie said, jumping in place.
She grabbed her daughter’s backpack, said bye to the workers and drove to the restaurant that her daughter picked.
Just a chain where they could get in and out fast and it wasn’t that busy since it wasn’t five yet.
They were pulling into her driveway a little before six and walking up the front stairs when she noticed a gift bag on the porch.
“Let me get it,” she said. If it was from Blaze she wanted to double-check it wasn’t something her daughter shouldn’t see.
Then she told herself that was silly. Blaze was at work before her this morning and he wasn’t out yet. She’d seen him earlier when she had to go to the ER for a patient. They exchanged a few smiles, stole a moment for some words, then went on their way.
He wasn’t the type to leave her a gift without giving her a heads up. And not one with a Barbie design on it.
Which meant it had to be for Gracie.
“What’s in it, Mom?”
“Let me see,” she said. They went into the living room. She glanced down and saw the two Barbies in the boxes with a card and lifted it.
“Pull it out,” Gracie said, reaching for the bag before she could say no. It dropped on the floor in her daughter’s attempt to sneak, the two dolls sliding out.
There was no taking it back now.
She opened the card. Can’t wait to meet you. Here are two dolls to play with. Tina.
Son of a bitch.
How dare they do this?! How dare they put her daughter into something she’d told Billy was off limits?
Here she’d been trying to help him. Maybe even protect him when she saw he was trying and now this!
Her daughter was trying to get the boxes opened and it wasn’t like she could pull them back now.
“Let me help you,” she said.
“Who are they from?”
She was hoping her daughter wouldn’t ask that, but it was ridiculous to think otherwise.
She did something she told herself she wouldn’t do. She lied. “Your father. He wanted to surprise you.”
What else could she say? It would come up at the visit next weekend, she was sure. She knew damn well it would because she planned on letting them know. After she gave Billy a piece of her mind.
“Can I call and thank him?”
“I’m going to talk to him first,” she said. She opened the other doll and handed it over. “Why don’t you go play and I’m going to go outside and talk to your father?”
Away from prying ears.
She slipped her shoes off her feet. What she really wanted to do was change her clothes on top of it, but this couldn’t wait.
It rang twice before he answered. “You’re not supposed to call me.”
“Yeah and your girlfriend shouldn’t be sending Gracie gifts.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You don’t know?”
“Know what?”
“I came home just now and there was a Barbie gift bag on the front porch. You know Gracie loves Barbie. I picked it up quickly to see what was in it, but she saw the dolls. I opened the card and it’s from Tina.”
“No way. She wouldn’t do that.”
“Billy, she signed her name. Said she couldn’t wait to meet her and play with the dolls. Do you think I’m making this shit up?” There was silence on the other end. “Are you there?”
“Let me see the card.”
She opened the glass doors, checked in to see Gracie with the dolls and play talking, snapped a picture of the card and sent it. “Is that her handwriting?”
“I think so,” Billy said. “It’s not like I see it all the time, but that might be how she writes.”
Arden let out a breath. “This crosses the line. You know how it looks, don’t you?”
“She wants to meet Gracie, I told you that.”
“I know. But it’s pressure. And it’s wrong. You didn’t even know she did it. What do you know about this woman? And how did she find out where I lived unless you told her?”
“I don’t think I did. I had it written down though, so I’m sure she saw it. I told you she wants to move in. She’s here all the time.”
“And you don’t find any of this odd? You didn’t answer me—what do you know about her? Where did you meet?”
“Oh, now you want to know those things,” Billy said sarcastically.
“Don’t push my buttons,” she snarled. “This is serious. This is our daughter we are talking about. If you profess to care so much and want to rebuild that relationship.”
“Don’t you dare tell me I don’t love and care for my daughter!” Billy shouted. “Do you think I’d be going through all this shit if I didn’t?”
“Yelling at me,” she said through clenched teeth, “isn’t proving that you’ve changed all that much.”
“Come on, Arden. Give me a break. Like you don’t do it to me. Like you haven’t lost your shit and yelled at me. You’re not as perfect as you think you are.”
“I never said I was perfect.”
“Could have fooled me. It seems like no matter what I do it’s not good enough for you. I get clean. I’m following the rules.”
“That you broke weeks ago when you showed up here. And why did you do that? Because this woman who just sent a gift to our daughter that you didn’t even know about is now pushing up the agenda. Have you thought of any of that?”
“I’ll deal with my relationship the way I want.”
“You do that, but just know that it’s not helping matters with your relationship with Gracie.
You have to get me to sign off on things and this stunt isn’t working.
I had to lie and tell her the dolls are from you.
” She was pacing now. “I was considering meeting Tina. Just to show that I was trying too and now this. No.” She was shaking her head.
“This was out of line. There was no place for this. Not right now. Unless you’re not telling her the truth. Is that what is going on?”
“I’m not hiding shit from her or anyone else. There is nothing to tell Tina other than facts. She knows she can’t meet Gracie yet, but I told her we talked about it again. I told her you wanted to meet her first. Maybe I said it was more of a likelihood than it was.”
“You think?” she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm that only Billy could bring out of her. She turned her head when the glass door pushed open. “Mommy’s on the phone, Gracie.”
“Is that Dad? Can I thank him for the dolls?”
“Did you hear that?” she asked Billy.
“Yes. Put her on.”
“Keep it short and simple,” she said, handing the phone over but squatting down so that she could hear the conversation on both ends.
“Thank you, Dad. I love them. I asked Mom if I could thank you and she said she’d call.”
“You’re welcome, Gracie. I hope you enjoy them.”
“I will.”
“Say bye to your father.”
“Bye, Dad,” Gracie said and handed the phone back to her.
She stepped back onto the patio and shut the door behind her, sealing the quiet between them. “You know I have to report this.”
“Come on, Arden. It was a simple gift. Should Tina have done it? No. I’m not happy about it either. When she gets here, I’ll find out what she was thinking. I’m sure we’ll end up fighting. Which you’ll just love.”
“No,” she said sharply. “I won’t love it.
And that you think I would is exactly why our marriage never stood a chance.
” She sat in the patio chair so she stopped pacing.
“You figure out your life, Billy. But when it comes to Gracie, I can’t step back.
I downplayed you showing up here. I even let it go on Saturday when you came early and wanted to talk. You never give me credit for that.”
Silence. The kind he always hid behind when he knew she was right.
“I appreciate it,” Billy finally said, his voice tight and forced through gritted teeth. She could almost see it in front of her having witnessed it so much in their marriage.
It was there again. The backpedal. The strain.
When Billy was wrong, he’d do anything to smooth the edges. Words that sounded like apologies but never were, gestures that looked like love but only covered the cracks.
She’d fallen for them once.
She never would again.
“I don’t think you do, but that’s on you. We are done here. I will tell Julie when I see her again. That gives you time to get your shit together.”
Arden ended the call, staring at her reflection in the glass of the patio door.
Her jaw was set, her shoulders stiff, but the exhaustion in her eyes gave her away.
She hated he could still drain her like this.
One call and she was right back to defending herself, standing up for Gracie, and holding the line with bleeding fingers and frayed nerves like always.
The phone felt heavy in her hand. She set it down and leaned her palms against the cool plastic of her outdoor table, forcing herself to breathe. One deep breath. Then another.
She’d document the call and report it like she always did. Keep the records straight. Protect her daughter, protect herself, protect the life she’d rebuilt one stone at a time.
But as she went back inside and shut the blinds on the front window leading to the porch, a flicker of unease slid through her chest. She couldn’t name it yet, only that it felt like the air had shifted. Like someone had just decided to test how strong she really was.