Chapter Twenty
The sun was dipping below the horizon. The tables were already half-cleared with a few empty plates and half-eaten slices of pie left behind. The new ranch hands were chatting in cheerful voices with some of the townspeople.
Hank puffed his pipe next to Josie as she leaned against the porch post. “It’s been a good day, darlin’,” he said. “We sure appreciate you letting us celebrate with you.”
She smiled, gazing at Samuel just a few feet below as he crawled around on the grass at the foot of the porch steps.
“I never expected anyone to do anything like this for him,” she said gladly.
“This was the most generous thing you could’ve done for us.
I couldn’t be happier to see him so happy today, with everyone laughing and having a good time and playing with him. ”
The scent of horses, dust, and pie still lingered in the air, but Hank’s pipe smoke was slowly overcoming her. It reminded her of Pa’s pipe, so long ago.
Quietly, she sank down to sit on the step. For the first time in a long time, she felt at peace.
As dangerous as it was. She hated to admit it, but this place—this ranch, these people, this life—was starting to feel like home.
Home…
The realization was overwhelming. She hadn’t had a home in so long, hadn’t felt safe since…
But now? Now she felt like she somehow belonged. Like Samuel belonged.
She glanced across the yard, where Cash stood talking with his brothers. His arms were crossed over his chest, his expression softer than his usual brooding look, or his face of pure indifference.
He had done this for her. For Samuel. And he didn’t have to.
That meant something.
“You did well today,” Clara said, pulling Josie from her stupor as she sat down on the step next to her. She smoothed out her skirt and nodded toward Samuel. “He looks happy.”
Josie let out a breathy laugh. “He is. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile this much.”
Clara tilted her head. “And you? Are you happy?”
Josie hesitated for a moment. Am I?
Truth was, she should have been terrified. Grayson Remington and Randall Pierce were both out there, and they could close in at any time. She wondered how much more time they’d give the Montgomery boys to make a decision about the ranch.
But it seemed to her that there wasn’t much contemplation going on.
The boys appeared to have every intention of keeping on with business as usual until Remington came back.
She should have been waiting for it all to turn sour…
but for some reason, sitting here now, she couldn’t bring herself to feel that fear.
“I think so,” she admitted. “It’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time, I suppose…”
Clara smiled. “Good.” She gazed out at the yard, and a soft pink flush appeared on her cheeks.
Josie blinked in surprise, following her gaze—and saw Luke collecting the rest of the plates from the table.
She turned back to Clara and saw Clara’s fingers twist in her lap, saw how her eyes lingered on Luke a little longer than necessary.
Josie laughed in surprise. “You—you’re sweet on Luke, aren’t you?”
Clara’s cheeks flushed almost instantly. “I am not!”
Josie raised an eyebrow, and Clara took a deep breath, shaking her head. “He’s… nice, alright? But it’s not like that.”
Josie grinned devilishly. “You sure?”
Clara opened her mouth to speak, but immediately closed it, a look of pure embarrassment crossing her face. She quickly nudged Josie with her elbow. “Don’t turn this on me. What about you and Cash? Husband and wife?”
Josie’s smile faltered. She didn’t know what to say. She felt Clara studying her face.
“You care about him,” Clara said. It wasn’t a question—it was an observation.
“I…” Josie swallowed, shifting uncomfortably under Clara’s prodding eyes. “He’s a good man.”
“That’s not what I said.”
Josie exhaled slowly, her gaze drifting back toward Cash. He was standing a few feet away now, hands on his hips, watching the sun dip lower.
He could be uncomfortably brusque. He was short-tempered and rude. He was moody. Rough around the edges, in every definition of the word. And yet… there was more than that to him.
Josie’s stomach tightened. Did she care about him?
Yes.
But what did that mean?
“He… confuses me,” she confessed.
Clara nodded as if she knew exactly what that meant. “Men do that.”
“Do they?” Josie asked doubtfully. “I’d never met good ones—besides my pa—before now.” She sighed deeply and rested her chin on her closed fists. “I just don’t know what the future looks like.”
A million questions swirled in her mind. Could she stay? Would she have to go?
Clara placed a gentle hand on her knee, as if able to read her mind. “Maybe you don’t have to know yet.”
Maybe. But that didn’t make it any less terrifying.
The ranch grew quieter as night began to settle over the yard. One by one, their guests began to bid farewell, waving, sent off with smiles and laughter from the ranch hands and the brothers. Luke and Hank finished clearing the tables, and Beau disappeared inside.
“Well, I should be heading back,” Clara finally said as the last sliver of sun sank beneath the distant tree line. She got to her feet, and Josie followed as they walked over to the boys together.
Clara smiled at them, and Josie saw her gaze linger on Luke a little longer than the others.
“D-do you need someone to accompany you?” he piped up nervously, shifting his feet. Josie’s eyes shot to his face. She could tell even in the semi-darkness that he was flushing.
Oh! He was sweet on Clara, too, by the looks of it.
Clara shook her head. “Mr. and Mrs. Green have agreed to ride alongside me.”
Luke nodded, shoulders clearly slumping. Josie could see disappointment all over his face. If he didn’t want Clara to know how he felt, he probably shouldn’t wear his emotions on his shoulder like that. Out in the open.
Not that Clara was any better. She was blushing like a young girl, giddy and hopeful, as she added, “Maybe… some other time?”
I could see them work well together. Suppressing a smile, Josie yawned and glanced over her shoulder. Samuel had fallen asleep on the grass.
It was time they all got some rest.
***
Josie tucked Samuel into his crib, watching him for a moment. He looked so peaceful, curled up on himself, his little curls framing his face.
I wish you could see this, Amelia.
The distant clunk of the front door closing brought her out of her reverie.
It was Cash, she knew. He’d be going out the porch at this hour, as usual—with a pipe, no doubt.
She smiled at Samuel one last time before slipping out into the hallway and to the front door.
She came out onto the porch and saw sure enough that Cash was already sitting there, a drink in one hand and a pipe in the other, silent and still, his eyes fixed on his fields. All she could hear was the gentle rocking of his chair and his steady breathing.
But when she walked over to him, he didn’t look at her. He didn’t move. He just continued staring off into the sky.
“Cash?” she asked, hesitantly at first, and his head turned to the side. “Mind if I join you?”
He nodded once.
Something about him looked… heavy.
Josie settled hesitantly into the chair next to him. He cleared his throat and for a moment, they sat in silence. There was a breeze. Soft. A nice change of pace from the heat of the day.
Then he grumbled low in his throat and rolled his glass in his hand. “Figured you’d be in bed by now.”
Josie shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”
He nodded, taking another sip. His expression was stoic, but there was something about it that said he understood the feeling. “Long day,” he mused.
She folded her hands in her lap. “A good day, though.”
He didn’t respond right away.
Maybe I should… say something else. “Thank you, by the way,” she added.
He hummed in acknowledgement, but said nothing, and her heart sank a little.
Earlier that day, he’d seemed lighter, more talkative. Not so stoic anymore. But now, it seemed like something was on his mind. He was back to his usual reserved expression.
“You alright?” Josie asked tentatively.
He exhaled through his nose and shook his head. “Just… thinkin’.”
“About what?”
He didn’t say anything at first, and she thought he might not answer at all, but then he looked at her. “This ain’t what I planned,” he admitted, his voice almost gravelly. “None of this. The marriage. The baby. You.”
Immediately, a defensive twinge went through Josie. She was about to pull away and rise to her feet, but then he continued.
“But I don’t regret it.”
He said it quickly, decisively, as though he could already tell what she was thinking.
Her lips parted in surprise. She had no words… but her grip loosened a little on the arms of her chair.
Cash turned back to look out into the sky. “I spent a long time tellin’ myself I didn’t want this. That I wasn’t made for that kind of life… after Jane. But then you showed up.” He let out a dry laugh. “And now I ain’t so sure anymore.”
Something suddenly shifted inside her. Something deep. Something warm. Something that spread through her entire being.
She didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to put into words what she was feeling in her chest.
But she had a sneaking suspicion she knew exactly what was happening.
And that realization was like a slap in the face. Hard, sudden. She had to force herself to look away.
When did I start caring for Cash Montgomery?
He confused her. Upset her. Yet despite his best efforts to hide his weaknesses, she had seen time and time again his kindness. His true kindness. He was the kind of man people looked to for guidance. A leader. A protector. A man with integrity, as Pa used to say.
A flood of emotions rushed through her, cutting her breath short. How could someone work her up so much? Everything with him was so strong, so unavoidable.
Abruptly, she sprang to her feet with a deep breath for air.
Cash followed suit, stepping closer with a worried expression. “Did I say something wrong?” He sounded almost panicked.
Josie shook her head, tears already brimming in her eyes. “No…” she choked out.
He didn’t say anything, just looked at her with those deep blue eyes. For the first time in her entire life, she felt… seen.
That look in his eyes—that look was a lot of things, and none of them were indifferent. She almost couldn’t bear to gaze back at him… and yet somehow, she did.
They stood there, looking at one another, their breaths mingling in the nighttime. Instinctively, Josie reached out, hesitating only a second before taking his hand in hers. His fingers twitched, wrapping around hers, calloused palm enveloping her hand completely.
Her heart raced even faster.
And then… he leaned close to her. So close she could feel his breath on her forehead.
Her eyes went wide, and she stared up at his face. Is he going to…?
Heat settled in the pit of her stomach as his eyes flashed down to her mouth. And then he leaned even closer.
I… want him to.
Her eyes closed and she stood up on her tiptoes, her body almost completely numb. She could feel his breath on her face—
A sharp cry cut through the air.
Samuel.
Josie jerked back, heart hammering in her chest, startled and confused, drawing her hand away.
Cash pulled back too. He cleared his throat, looking away quickly before rubbing his neck. “Sounds like you’re needed.”
She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry as the desert. “Yeah.” She pivoted sharply and began to head back inside, not risking a single glance at him.
She couldn’t. Her lips were on fire, still tingling.
If Samuel hadn’t woken, would we have…?