Chapter 9
Ilied about having another meeting in this part of the city and left the property, walking straight toward one of my favorite bars in the West Loop. It’s early for a drink, but I need one. What the fuck just happened?
I could have pushed him away. I should have done that, but he is tall, dark, and severely handsome. His energy pulled me in. Fuck, I just made out with a prospective client. What’s wrong with me?
My phone buzzes in my purse, and I pull it out to see it’s Adam.
“Fuuuckkk!” I scream aloud, not caring about the bystanders on the street. “Hey,” I answer with as much enthusiasm as possible versus the dread I feel.
“How was the meeting?” he asks, enthused.
He’s taking the role of business mentor very seriously since I unblocked his number, knowing that this role in my life is one I accept from him.
I never should have slept with him again after seeing him at his office.
It’s just so hard to say no when he is being the guy I want him to be.
And that other time. He came to my apartment with flowers and everything on Valentine’s Day. I huff, pushing it out of my thoughts.
“Gideon told me to send some additional ideas and pricing.”
“Great. Did he tell you he doesn’t have an ego?”
“Basically.”
“He does. He’s super precious about this platform and vision, but you’re used to it.”
Our familiar banter reminds me that I need to stop sleeping with him. He’s been serious about healing himself, continuing therapy for the last four months. Adam has even stopped working on Fridays and started to give Greg more responsibility.
But I can’t do it. I can’t fucking do it. I can’t take him back. I don’t owe him the details.
“You’re not working too hard, are you?” he asks.
“No. I’m on my way to Birdie.”
“Isn’t it a little early for a bar with no windows?” he asks playfully.
“Never,” I automatically flirt and could smack myself.
Do I love Adam? Yes. We have been through a lot over the last ten months. From fuck buddies, to a couple toying with engagement and babies, to this post-breakup limbo. But today? I don’t know what I want.
I’ll be twenty-seven in six months, and he is about to turn forty-five. We work, but we don’t. He’s showing me he can be the right guy, but I’m not ready to be a wife. I need time to live, to grow.
“Want me to join you?” he asks.
“I know you’re already on your way.”
Adam’s possessiveness is also part of the reason why I haven’t fully ended things. I don’t want to have a powerful man as an enemy. But Gideon … could complicate things.