14. Hannah
14
Hannah
“No, no, no. Stop moving around like a jumping monkey.”
Hannah winced as Sabum reprimanded Jason again. The taekwondo instructor’s voice was soft, but Hannah knew from experience that enduring Sabum’s disappointment was humiliating enough without his words. Her parents had started her in taekwondo when she was eight, and she was still going strong twenty years later.
Since Jason’s lesson was private, she could only sit behind the one-sided glass window and watch. The first few lessons had been easy enough because Jason hadn’t had to touch anyone. His arms were stronger than she had imagined, and despite his lack of training, he’d caught on quickly. His kicks weren’t as high as hers, but in just a few lessons, he had shown he had the muscle and concentration to do well. If only he did better with partner work.
As soon as he was asked to touch, kick, or grab another person, Jason lost concentration and was incapable of doing it.
Sabum had recommended he come in every day after work until he adjusted. A few days ago, Jason had moved home since his repairs had been completed, and she only saw him at work. She missed him. Having a view to his lessons from behind a one-way mirror seemed like cheating, but Sabum told her it was essential to his growing independent of her.
So, there she was, watching as he squirmed away whenever Sabum reached for him. No matter what he was asked to do, he was incapable of doing it, and she could see his confidence slipping.
Sabum punched, something he had wanted Jason to block, but Jason flinched away. Sabum dropped his head to his hands and shook his head. Then he sighed and tried again. He reached for Jason’s arms to show him how to block, but Jason jerked away in time as Sabum said, “I’m not sure you can—”
“I can do it,” Jason said, his voice determined.
“Fine. Don’t move,” Sabum commanded. “I’m coming at you, and I want you to block.”
“Yes, sir.” No matter how frustrated Jason got, he was a model student, never getting frustrated and never giving up. It was admirable at his age. Most adults would’ve quit already, but she knew he had the mental capacity for it.
In his white training suit—a dobok —he was especially handsome. She leaned forward and sighed. Even when he was struggling, she loved watching him.
They went at it for another few minutes, and again and again, he refused to touch the instructor. At least his dodging skills were on par.
“I think it’s time we stop,” Sabum said suddenly.
Hannah stood up, leaning into the window to catch every word.
Jason looked up at the big clock on the wall. “But we still have twenty minutes left. ”
Sabum nodded. “Yes, but we’re not making progress like this, and you need a break. Let’s try again tomorrow.”
Jason dropped his head and nodded as the instructor left him alone on the gym floor. He looked up at the window to where Hannah was. Even though he couldn’t see her, she could imagine the flood of embarrassment and frustration he felt.
Hannah bit back her disappointment and forced a smile on her face as she waited for him outside the locker room.
She pulled out the raspberry macarons she’d made the night before and mentally prepared what she would say.
But when he came out with such a dejected look on his face and sniffed when he saw the bag in her hands, she knew he needed more. She took his gym bag from his hands and dropped everything on a nearby chair.
“What are you—”
“I think you need one of these.” She opened her arms and gestured with her fingers for him to come. They hadn’t hugged since those few minutes outside at their spot, but she knew he needed it. And she needed to comfort him, to hold him, to let him know that no matter what became of his lessons, she wasn’t going anywhere. He was too deep in her heart for her to walk away now.
A small smile started on his lips, and her heart leapt as he took her invitation. She thought their first embrace had been the best feeling of her life. Sensations zinged through her, warming her all over. It turned out, a hug she knew he needed was so much more. She rested her head against his shoulder and breathed in his sweet scent. He held her tenderly at first and then his arms tightened around her as she closed her eyes and melted against him.
She was falling fast for this man, and she’d only hugged him. She could only imagine what a kiss would do.
“Can we do this after every practice?” he murmured into her hair, tickling her ears. She giggled and slowly, carefully rested her cheek against his chest.
His body was warm, as warm as hers, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt how she felt about him. She smiled and backed out of his embrace, making him frown. His arms were still out.
“More?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Not right now, but I promise a hug after a really good lesson.”
“It better be a long one,” he muttered as he grabbed his bag and led the way outside.
“You’re cute,” she said, laughing.
He stopped and reached his hand back to find hers. “Fine, then... hands.”
She sighed. “All right.” She slipped her hand in his, and in seconds, he had interlocked his fingers with hers. Tingles, zings, heat—it was all there. “People will think we’re dating if we do this.”
He laughed. “They would have every right to think that. We do look like we’re dating.”
Sure, he could joke about it, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to open that bag of worms and risk losing him forever. After a few seconds, she gently pulled her hand away and produced her bag of cookies. “I made these.”
He shook his head. “I don’t deserve those. You saw me. I dodged him every time.”
“You let me decide that.” She placed the bag of cookies in his hand.
“Thank you,” he grunted. “Let’s go walk Ginger and Snaps. On the way, you can tell me how you’re doing at maintaining your house.”
She frowned. Other than a few random clean spots, her house was mostly back to how it had been before he’d stayed with her. “I don’t want to. ”
He chuckled and took her hand again.
Sabum came out of his office and looked down at their joined hands. “What is—why are you—are you two together?”
Jason hadn’t said anything about a relationship—not to her specifically. Not wanting to speak for him, she glanced at him, but he wasn’t even looking her way.
Suddenly, he pulled his hand away and shook his head. “Hannah’s just helping me get used to touching others.” His cheeks reddened. “You know, holding hands and... hugs. It’s all practice.”
Practice? Disappointment stabbed her in the gut, and she tucked her hands back into her pockets. Did he really only see her as practice? One minute she was sure he liked her and wanted to try a relationship and the next she wasn’t so sure.
“You know, this might just be—” Sabum started
—but Hannah was done listening. She needed some air.
She was probably overthinking things, just as she always did, but she knew one thing—she needed some space. If he had no real feelings for her, she was bound to get hurt.
“I should get going,” she said, slipping past both of them, making sure she didn’t bump into Jason.
“But the dogs . . .”
“It’s okay. I can do it alone. You’ve had a rough day already.”