Chapter 9 #2
Now Alysse was thinking that Staci’s bold move meant that it was past time for her to step up and make some changes. She couldn’t just keep bumping along, because sooner or later she and Jay would have to talk about what they both wanted.
She knew she wanted more than what they had but she was afraid to admit it in case that would drive Jay away. By not admitting it, she wasn’t going to have what she really wanted anyway.
JAY WAS STILL UNEASY about working out of an office, but Lucien had paired him with Donovan O’Malley on a basic mission where they would be guarding a foreign dignitary. It was right up Jay’s alley, which was good because he found himself thinking about Alysse at the most inopportune times.
“What branch you with?” Donovan asked. He was about Jay’s age and from Seattle.
“Corps. You?” Jay asked as he studied the other man from behind his aviator shades.
The man was shorter than Jay and had more muscles.
He had a buzz cut and a tribal-armband tattoo down his left arm.
He wore jeans and a T-shirt and had done a good job of blending in with the crowd, even though Lucien had told Jay that Donovan didn’t have any special recon training.
“Army. I’m an infantryman, what about you?” he asked.
“Sniper,” Jay said. They had snipers in all the branches but he’d been trained by the best in the world, in Jay’s humble opinion.
“Have you been to Afghanistan?” Donovan asked. “I did two tours myself, but I got a bit tired of all that sand. I’m used to lots of lush greenery and rain.”
“I’ve been twice. I hear you on the sand. It gets in everything.”
“Yeah. That’s why I thought this job would be nice,” Donovan said, scratching the back of his head. “I was tired of dusting dirt off my cot before I went to bed.”
“Me, too,” Jay admitted, although he hadn’t slept any better the last four nights in Alysse’s comfortable sand-free bed. That had nothing to do with the mattress or the sheets and everything to do with Alysse. He’d been afraid to sleep in case he had another nightmare.
“So what do I need to do next?” Donovan asked. “I don’t want to screw this up. And I’ve never done anything like it before.”
“You won’t screw it up. You any good with a camera?” Jay asked, pulling a Nikon from his backpack and holding it out.
“I’m fair enough. What do you need shots of?” Donovan asked, taking the camera from Jay.
“The entire building and all the entrances. Do it close up from the sidewalk and then walk across the street and get some there. I’m going to check out the buildings nearby.”
Donovan nodded and started to walk away. “No problem. I’ll meet you back in thirty.”
“Sounds good,” Jay said, but the other man was already gone. Donovan was very good at taking orders—the kind of man who would be an asset to any team he was on.
Jay liked to get the lay of the land by walking it. He’d done it a thousand times before with a scout at his side.
He made notes and sketched a few things. They were in Santa Monica and close enough to the ocean that the breeze would make anyone targeting the guy Lucien was guarding difficult to shoot. It wasn’t an impossible shot, but most guys wouldn’t be able to hit their target with one bullet.
He sat where he’d sit if he were assigned to take out the target and made notes of the wind direction and the patterns as it changed. And, though he knew it was impossible, he could swear the ocean breeze carried the scent of Alysse on it.
Damn, he had no idea what he was going to do with that woman. He was no closer to figuring out his future than he had been when he’d ordered that special cupcake from her.
This job wasn’t the solution to the restlessness inside him and he was coming to realize that Alysse wasn’t either.
It was as if he’d lost a part of himself when he’d been alone in the hospital recovering.
He reached down and rubbed the top of his thigh where he’d had the injury.
It didn’t hurt but he continued to remember the sensation.
Maybe he’d been meant to die and being here now...that was the mistake. He’d seen men with a hell of a lot more to lose than him die over there and that had bothered him. Why had he been spared when no one would have mourned for him? When men who had wives and kids back home hadn’t made it out?
There were some questions that were too hard to answer and Jay pushed them aside as he always did. For whatever reason, he was glad he was here now and that he had a second chance with Alysse. Maybe that was why he’d been spared?
His phone vibrated and he saw that it was a text message from Alysse.
Do you have plans for dinner? How does a sunset cruise from Dana Point sound?
I’m still working and won’t have an idea when I’ll be finished for another thirty minutes.
Okay. Text me when you know.
He finished his recon and met back up with Donovan.
They’d driven up to L.A. separately so meeting Alysse wasn’t going to be an issue of transportation, but he was feeling as though they were doing Vegas all over again, not really being themselves.
A part of him enjoyed being with her, but he knew that wasn’t going to be enough for her.
And every day they were together he felt further and further away from her.
“Are the photos okay?” Donovan asked.
Jay took the camera from the other man and, using the small view window, scrolled through them. They were actually pretty good. There were one or two that showed some areas Jay thought might pose a problem.
“How was the visibility of this alcove?” Jay asked, pointing to an entryway on the side of the building that was covered.
“Not the best, but there is only one shadowy area and it’s not big enough to hide a man.”
“Are you sure?” Jay asked. The mission to protect the dignitary had been assigned to him, but the intel was going to be his. He wanted to give Lucien the best information he could. Make sure his friend didn’t get caught out by anything that Jay or Donovan overlooked.
“I’m sure. I watched it for about ten minutes and there was a lot of traffic in and out. No one just appeared. There’s a guard there, as well,” Donovan said.
“Good to know,” Jay said.
They finished chatting and then headed back to Oceanside and the Company B offices. Jay texted Alysse he was busier than he’d thought he’d be and that he’d get in touch when he was done.
She didn’t text back. That silence made him wonder if he’d done the wrong thing and finally put her off.
He pushed it to the back of his mind as he entered the conference room and sat down at the table with the rest of the team.
Lucien was at the head of the table with Donovan and Jay next to him on the left.
Across from them were two men whom Jay didn’t know but he quickly learned they were both assigned to guard the dignitary.
The client was a foreign minister from Egypt who’d managed to escape the country before being arrested and was applying for diplomatic immunity.
After they reported on what they’d found in Santa Monica, Jay and Donovan both were done for the day and left the conference room.
But Jay felt restless. He wanted to stay and offer his services as eyes in the sky.
He knew that those two guards would do their job, but he felt that he could benefit the mission.
The only problem with that was that he didn’t work for them. Today had been challenging and the kind of work he liked to do, but yesterday he’d sat in a control room and monitored security cameras, which had been a total bore.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw that Alysse had texted him back that she was staying for dinner and if he decided to show up he could join her.
ALYSSE HAD ALWAYS STRUGGLED with being alone in public.
Partly it was because she’d always felt so self-conscious that being alone made her feel exposed.
But after Jay had left and she’d spent all those nights alone having to rebuild her confidence, something had changed.
Her mom often said that it was as if part of Alysse stopped caring what other people thought.
And Alysse didn’t know if that was true, but she had finally stopped building her life around the romantic fantasy that had always existed in her head.
She was having a drink at one of the many bars in the marina area and sitting outside where she had a nice view of the Pacific.
Staci had unexpectedly met up with one of her former boyfriends and gone with him when they’d finished the cupcake giveaway, and, instead of heading back to the bakery and her home, Alysse had decided to stay here.
She had a lot to think about, what with Staci wanting to go off and do her own thing. And Jay.
He’d been so accommodating a part of her had just expected him to say yes when she’d asked him to meet her, but then she guessed it was important to remember that he was busy away from her.
She took another sip of her wine and leaned back in the chair. The marina was busy with foot traffic—couples and families taking a stroll. In the distance she heard the sound of a reggae band playing. The marina committee had a full schedule of events that were going until late tonight.
She stretched and turned to signal her waiter and was surprised to see Jay approaching. He wore his habitual jeans and a T-shirt with a thick leather bomber jacket over it.
He pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”
“I didn’t think you were coming,” she said at last, realizing that she hadn’t gotten over her expectation that he would leave her.
“I wasn’t sure I would either,” he said. “The traffic from L.A. was nuts. I don’t know how people drive here all the time.”
“This job is demanding?” she asked. “You haven’t said much.”
He hadn’t shared a lot of his life with her. In fact, if it wasn’t something she pulled out of him, he never volunteered information about himself. She suspected he was just used to playing his cards close to his chest.
“Today I went and did recon for a job they’re doing tomorrow. Guarding a dignitary at a dinner. I was checking out possible places where a shooter could set up in case...well, the guy’s a target so there is no in case.”
She heard some excitement in his voice as he talked about it. He ordered a beer from the waiter and then stretched his long legs out and looked over at her.
“Do you think you will take the job?” she asked. “It definitely sounds like your kind of thing.”
“Today was. But other jobs they have aren’t as interesting,” he said, taking a swallow of his beer. “I don’t know yet.”
He wasn’t going to make a decision that quickly and even if he did it would have no impact on her. Had things between them changed at all in the week they’d spent together?
She knew they had an electric sexual chemistry and she had to admit he’d let her use him for all the sex she wanted.
But the truth was the more that she was with him, the more she wanted him.
He wasn’t curing her so she could move on.
She was falling for him and that loner persona of his, even though she was trying not to.
“Would you like it if I took that job?”
“I don’t think that’s up to me,” she said. “I don’t want you to hold it against me if I say yes and you hate it.”
“That’s fair enough. Have you thought about us in the long term?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No. Have you?”
He didn’t say anything, just took a long draw on his beer and she honestly had no idea what that meant. It occurred to her that while she’d been busy trying to cure herself of Jay, he’d been doing his best to protect himself, too. Maybe they just weren’t meant to be together.
“What are you thinking?” he asked her.
“Nothing,” she said. No way was she spilling her guts to him. He couldn’t even talk to her about the simplest of things. Wouldn’t give her an answer about anything connected with the two of them.
He shook his head. “You look sad.”
“I’m not. I’m concerned about the bakery,” she said. “That’s probably what you’re seeing.”
“Why concerned? I thought everything was going well there,” he said.
“It is. But Staci told me today that she wants to take a more backseat role in the day-to-day running of the store. It’s going to be a big change,” Alysse said.
“You can do it. What will be the biggest obstacle?” he asked.
She had been toying with that. “I think finding another baker. Most of the really good ones already have permanent jobs and it’s so personal in the kitchen I need to find someone who suits my style.”
“If it was me, I’d make a list,” he said. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a pen and a small notebook.
“Jot down the qualities you are looking for and then you can draft an ad or ask around to see if someone who matches them is available,” he said.
She smiled at him because for the first time today she didn’t feel alone.
She hadn’t anticipated that Jay would be able to give her this.
She needed to feel as though she had a partner when she had these kinds of decisions to make.
And frankly, given the way their relationship had been going, she hadn’t had a clue that he’d step up to the plate this time.
She couldn’t help staring at him and seeing some changes that made her care just a little bit more for him. Jay was the kind of man she could count on in a crisis and that shouldn’t have surprised her because of his experience in the Corps.
For the first time she thought about Jay as someone who lived life on the edge, as someone who protected those he cared for. Yet she wasn’t entirely sure he was going to be able to watch over her for any longer than his leave.