38. Leo
“How have you been doing?” I ask Ruby.
We sit in the common room, where we have sessions. She fumbles with the deck of cards she was playing with before I arrived.
“Fine,” she answers. “This place could be worse.”
“That is something we can agree on,” I mutter the words, not realizing that they weren’t in my head. When I meet her gaze, she looks at me with confusion. “When I first came here, I expected this place to be like the asylums you see in the movies. White walls, white floors; bright, blinding lights.”
“Thank God it isn’t like that.” She chuckles. “Do you know all the headaches that would cause?”
I can’t help but smile. “A lot. Aside from the facility, how are you doing with the other patients?”
“You mean Veronica?”
“She is a patient, isn’t she?” I quirk an eyebrow. “And she was the only one that has been giving you an issue that I’m aware of, but we can talk about the other patients if you’d like.”
Ruby sets the deck of cards down, splitting them into a pile of three. “Veronica hasn’t messed with me again since she tried to kill me. Other patients have been kind. Well, as kind as a bunch of women in an insane asylum can be.”
“No one has been giving you a hard time?”
“Nope. I’ve made friends here.” She smiles as she splits the three piles of cards and adds another two to the lineup.
“I am glad to hear that.” I watch her fingers spread each card in the individual decks in a line. “Have you considered having any visitors?”
Her fingers stop, and then she circles the tip of her pointer around the Ace of Hearts. “I was thinking of asking if my mom could come up, but I doubt she would want to see me.”
“Were the two of you close?”
“Yes.”
“How did she feel about you coming here?”
Ruby slides the cards together to bring them back to one full deck. “She was sad, but I think she was scared more than anything. Not for me, but of me. She didn’t think I could kill someone.”
“You’re her daughter,” I point out. “No parent thinks their children are capable of doing something like that.”
“Do you have kids?” The question comes out of left field.
“Uh, no. I don’t,” I respond. “I have a nephew, though. He is six. Being around him, watching him grow up, and how carefree he is... it is hard to believe that he could one day do the same thing that you have done. That any of the other patients have done.”
“We were all innocent once,” Ruby states. “Do you think the way someone was brought up could influence how they turn out? Turn them into a killer or make them go crazy?”
“I definitely think it plays a role, but it depends on the person,” I state. “Someone could grow up in a nice, loving family and still turn to the bad parts that life offers. Killing, alcohol, drugs. That could be reversed, though, too. A person could grow up in the shittiest environment where their parents didn’t love them, didn’t care for them, and that child could turn their life around. To be anything other than their parents. They could make a beautiful life for themselves.”
“My parents loved me.”
“You say that in the past tense.”
“I’m not sure they love me anymore. Not after I killed that man.” Her eyes drop to the cards, the shuffling turning slow.
“You don’t know that unless you talk to them.” A sad smile forms on my mouth before I suggest, “I could talk to Dr. Bennett about setting up a visitation if you’d like.”
Ruby’s eyes find mine, a dim light shining in them. “Yeah, okay. I think I’d like that.”
“Okay. I’ll talk with him today and then let you know when the visitation will be.” I set the pen down on my notepad. Packing my stuff up, I stand from the table and say, “Next time, we can play a card game while we talk.”
Ruby’s smile turns brighter. “I’d like that, too.”
I leave the room and go straight to Dr. Bennetts” office. I might as well speak with him about Ruby’s visitation now so we can set it up. The walk to his office feels longer than usual, and the patients” eyes are still on me as I wander the halls. You’d think they’d be used to seeing me by now.
You’d think I’d be used to it by now.
As I approach his office door, it is wide open, but I haven’t entered yet. I stand in the doorway, knuckles tapping the doorframe to get his attention. His eyes leave the computer, and he grins and gestures for me to come in when he sees me.
“Dr. Madden! How was your time away?”
“It could have been better, sir.” His head tilts, the question in his eyes, but I already have the answer before he can ask it. “I found out that my mother has cancer, and she doesn’t have much time left.”
“Oh, I am so sorry, Leo.” He sinks back in his chair, pity flashing in his eyes. “If you need any time off, just let me know, and we will work something out.”
“Thank you, Henry. I appreciate it.” I nod curtly, wanting my mother”s conversation to be done with. It’s been almost a week since I returned, and the pain of the news has dwelled but still simmers beneath the surface.
“What can I do for you?” I’m unsure if he is asking what he can do about the situation with my mother or the reason I came to visit him. I choose the latter.
“I wanted to set up a visitation for Ruby. She would like her mother to come see her.”
“Very well. I will call her family and ask if they would like to come. If so, I will ensure you know when they will arrive.” He leans forward, probably finding the contact info for Ruby’s family.
“Great.” I tap my foot on the ground, and in silence, I remember asking Veronica if she would like a visit with her sister.
She never gave me an actual answer; knowing her, she won’t. She didn’t even write the letter to her sister because she was too afraid of what Stephanie would say.
She needs a little nudge, and before I can even think, the words fly out of my mouth, “I’d like to set up a visitation for Veronica as well.”
Dr. Bennetts”s fingers immediately pause on the keyboard, and then he looks at me over his glasses. “Veronica hasn’t had a visitor since she has been here. Never expressed the want to have a visitation with anyone.”
“No, I know, but...” I attempt to find the words to tell him now that the suggestion has left my mouth. “It’s Veronica. She is outspoken, but even if this is something she wanted, she would never tell us. As her doctor, I think it will be good for her to connect with someone closer to her again.” I swallow hard. “You and I know she hasn’t been the friendliest to those around her in this place.”
A breathy laugh leaves him. “Yes, and I’m sure Edith mentioned that I’ve about had it with Veronica’s behavioral choices.”
“I’m aware. Edith explained everything to me, and I promise to keep Veronica in line so those measures do not have to be taken,” I boldly state. “She needs closure from the situation that happened before she came here. She’s too strong-willed to admit it to anyone, but she is afraid her sister will never look at her the same. I’m thinking... hoping that if her sister were to visit her, there would be a chance for forgiveness between them.”
“And if her sister visits and it doesn’t end well?”
“Then I will take full responsibility for the sinking ship and deal with Veronica’s backlash alone,” I tell him.
If Stephanie comes, and this all blows up in my face, Veronica will be furious. She will want to take out her anger on someone. I’ll have to make sure that someone is me.
“I’m guessing that, as Veronica has been in solitaire for the past two weeks, she has no clue that you are suggesting this to me,” Dr. Bennett asks.
“She does not know.”
“She’s going to be pissed.”
“I know, and like I said, I’ll handle it,” I reassure him. “She’s making progress whether you see it or not. This will be good for her.”
It has to be.
“Okay. I’ll call out to her sister?—”
“Can I be the one to do it?” I cut him off.
He studies me for a moment but then eventually nods. “You want full responsibility for the chaos that is about to happen? By all means, Dr. Madden, go right ahead.”
“Thank you, sir.”
I reach for the corded phone positioned in the top right-hand corner of my desk but hesitate as my fingers brush over the phone itself. My heart has been racing since I stepped foot in this office.
Veronica will be mad at me for doing this, but it needs to happen. I have to push her to see her sister, or else she never will, and then she wouldn’t know if her sister forgives her.
Does she deserve forgiveness? That isn’t up to me to decide.
It’s up to Stephanie.
Exhaling out a long breath, I pick up the phone. The dial tone sounds in my ear as I punch in the keys to her phone number.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Each one is more prolonged than the last. As if it were dragging this out.
“Hello?” The voice on the other end surprises me for two reasons; I wasn’t sure she would answer and because she sounds like Veronica.
“Hi, is this Stephanie Rollins?” My voice remains strong and professional even though I shake inside.
“Yes. Who is this?”
“This is Dr. Madden from Black Lake Asylum.” I swallow the nerves down my throat.
She remains silent, her heavy breathing sounding through the earpiece. “What do you want?”
“I’m calling on behalf of Veronica. She?—”
“Is she alright?” If I weren’t mistaken, her tone sounded concerned, which is a good sign.
“She is doing fine, considering,” I reassure her. “I am calling because I would like to set up a visitation between you and Veronica.”
“Why?” She snaps that concern away.
“Well, she hasn’t had any visitors since she has been here and I believe it would be good for her.”
Silence for another beat until Stephanie speaks. “Why would I come visit the person who killed my boyfriend?”
The person.
Stephanie doesn’t even acknowledge Veronica as her sister.
“Because she is your sister.” There is a bite in my voice.
“My sister who murdered my boyfriend.” She bites back furiously. “What, does she want to see me to rub it in my face? To remind me of the horror of that night?”
“No.” My head shakes, even though she can’t see it. “She doesn’t even know I’m calling. Veronica wants to see you but won’t make the move to start the visit. And before you say it, she doesn’t want to see you make you relive that night over again. She wants forgiveness.”
“What about what I want?” The sadness in her voice is prominent.
“I can’t change the past, Stephanie. Neither can your sister.” My fingers rub my forehead. “I’m not asking you to come here, forgive her, and move on from the past. That I know won’t happen, but I think that seeing each other after all this time could at least settle something between the two of you.”
She sniffs, which I’m sure means she is crying. “Do my parents know you are calling me?”
“No.”
“Don’t call them. If they knew you were trying to get someone to come see my sister, then they would have you fired.” Her words hit hard. I almost forgot how much power Veronica’s family has. “They believe she should live out the rest of her life alone in that place. Although, I’m sure she has made some friends in there.”
“She hasn’t. Veronica keeps to herself. There is only one other patient that she has shown a slight interest in being friends with, and I use the word friend loosely. It is also newer. With that being said, what your parents wished for her is true.”
I hear her intake a sharp breath. “Do you promise not to tell them about this?”
“I promise.” There is no reason for me to call their parents. This isn’t an altercation at school. They are both adults.
“One visit.” She caves. “We will see how this one goes before I agree more.”
“And I agree with you.” Relief floods my system. “What day and time works best for you?”
“Uh...” She pauses, paper flipping back and forth on her end. “I can come in three Fridays from now. My schedule is clear that day.”
I open the calendar on my computer, find the blank square for the Friday she mentioned, and type in her name.
“Thank you for doing this, Stephanie.”
A movement at the door catches my attention. When my focus peels away from the computer screen, Veronica stands barely in the office. Her wide eyes narrow on me, and that pissed off expression takes over her face.
How long has she been standing there?
“I’m doing this for myself. No one else.” With that, she hangs up.
I keep my phone to my ear, hearing the roar of the static on the other end.The nerves that went away wash back up to the surface as I panic internally about how I will explain this to her.
“Veronica,” I say her name cautiously as I set the phone back on the receiver.