39. Veronica
Stephanie.
I heard that correctly, right? He was talking to my sister. He must have been because what other Stephanie does he know? Leo is still holding the phone to his ear even though she hung up on him. That annoying buzzing sound on the other end of the phone blares from the other end.
Clenching my teeth together, I don’t bother entering his office any more than I have. If I step back, I’ll be in the hall again, and then I could turn and leave him behind. But I don’t.
Leo finally rolls his chair back and slowly stands. Rounding the desk carefully, he steps in front of it but doesn’t inch any closer.
“How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to hear you say my sister”s name.” My arms fold over my chest.
His head moves up and down slowly in realization. Words fly wildly around his head like dozens of birds set free from their cages. In his eyes, I witness him deciding which bird to pick in order to form a sentence, but unfortunately, nothing comes from his mouth.
“Care to explain why you were speaking with my sister?”
His jaw ticks. “I set up a visitation.”
“You what?”
“You and I talked about it and?—”
“Yes, Leo, we talked about it. I never gave you a real answer!” Fumes pour out of my ears, and heat rolls over every inch of my skin.
I can take a step back, run from him, and release my anger. No, Veronica. You can’t do that. Remember what’s at stake.
“You can’t stand here and tell me you didn’t want the visitation!” He raises his voice in the slightest, making my body flinch, and my arms fall to my side. He rushes to me, tugging on my wrist to bring me into the room, and shuts the door. “You wanted to see your sister, yeah?”
I stare up into his eyes. “Yes.”
“Okay, then I went ahead and made the decision you would never make.” He huffs out a breath of irritation. “Should I have talked to you first before I did it? Yes, but?—”
“But I was locked away!” I cut him off again. “You could have brought it up when you came to see me!”
“It wasn’t on my mind then!” He shoots back. “Not until I set one up for Ruby.”
The memory of him coming down to see me plays in my head. Telling me that his mother is dying. It has been on replay since he left me in there. Closing my eyes, I inhale a long breath, trying to calm myself from self-destruction.
“What did she say?”
“Your sister? She agreed to see you in three Fridays.”
“May? As in next month?” When you put it in that type of timeline, it seems like forever until she will be here, but in reality... it’s sooner than I want. “She agreed to come visit?”
“Yes, but she asked me not to tell your parents.”
“Figures she doesn’t want them to find out she is coming all this way to see her insane sister.”
“Actually, she didn’t want me to call them because if they found out, I could lose my job.”
“What do you mean lose your job?” I inch closer to him. “Because of Stephanie visiting me?”
“She said they didn’t want anyone seeing you. That they wanted you to remain alone after what you did.” His voice is honest.
“They are something else, aren’t they?” I shake my head in disbelief.
“You don’t seem as mad as I thought you’d be,” he points out.
“Oh, I am mad, Leo. The fire in me is burning, begging to be released, but I just got out of solitary, and I’m trying to readjust like always. I also promised not to freak out at the drop of a hat.” I move toward him. “And although my senses are at an all-time high, my emotions are swirling like a tornado, but I’m staying calm. Trying to, at least.” He smiles at that, but there is sadness hidden behind it.
His mother is dying.I can’t take this time to reminisce on my time alone when his world is falling apart. I told him I’d be there for him, and for once, I can’t put myself first.
“How are you holding up? After the two weeks?”
“The first week was awful, as always. The second wasn’t as bad, seeing as I got to see you and a light had been turned on in my room.” He grins. “I’m assuming I have you to thank for that?”
“Didn’t think he would actually do it.”
“He did.” My fingers brush along the fabric of his dress shirt. “Enough about me. What can I do for you?”
His eyes dance across my face before landing on my lips. “What do you want to do for me?”
“I would like to distract you from all the shit going on in your head.”
“I think I would like that very much.” Seduction drips from his voice.
“Remember when you first came here, and I suggested you supervise me in the shower?” He hums in response, his heated green eyes finding mine. “Well, seeing as I need a decent shower, I’ll need someone to watch and make sure I use the razor the right way.”
My hands run along his chest, his body shuddering under my touch. When his hands meet my waist, it takes everything in me not to flinch.
When you have not been physically touched for two weeks, someone touching you is something you have to get used to when you get out. I swallow hard, waiting for him to respond.
“You still think Edith will allow it?” His voice went deep, husky.
“Mhm.” Moving my hands up, I wrap them slightly around his neck. “I was planning on seeing her after I came to visit you.”
I don’t allow him to say another word before leaving his office, hoping he follows me. As I make my way to the lobby, where Edith probably is, I find it hard to ignore that itch inside of me, the one that wants to fly off the handles and hurt someone whenever I’m angry.
I’m furious that Leo went behind my back and invited my sister for a visit. Maybe I would have found the courage to decide for myself someday, but when would that have been?
Next week? Years from now?
Another thing that makes me angry is that, even though I’m mad at him, I don’t want to be mad at him. That’s never happened before with anyone.
I understand he is my doctor, trying to do what is right for me—what he thinks is best for me. I have to keep telling myself that so I don’t flip out on the next person who looks at me wrong.
The door opens easily, and I see Edith sitting behind her computer. Luckily, the two girls that usually live on those couches aren’t in here now.
Could you imagine if they overheard what I was about to ask? The way they would spread rumors to start shit? What might happen in those showers won’t be rumors, but they don’t need to know that.
“Hi, Edith.” I lean my shoulder against the open door frame, which does not have a door attached.
“Veronica,” she greets me. “How are you holding up?”
“Oh, you know what they say: after spending time in solitaire, you come back crazier.” I shrug. “I’m actually in need of a shower. Full works.”
Edith huffs out a breath of frustration. Not with me, but with the work piled up in front of her, stacks of papers looking like they might tumble over at any moment.
“Veronica, I sadly do not have the time to supervise your shower. I’m rushing to get all this information for Dr. Bennett’s meeting, which I must sit in on. Can you shave another day?”
“Unfortunately, I can’t.” I sigh dramatically. “If I have to walk around with my legs feeling like a cactus, I might lose it.”
Edith hangs her head low, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingertips. Letting out a long breath, she lifts her gaze to me, and then I watch her eyes dart behind me.
Turning to look over my shoulder, Leo stands there with his hands tucked into his pocket.
“Oh, Leo. I didn’t see you standing there,” Edith states.
“I only just got here,” he responds.
Had he? I heard his footsteps behind me as I walked, but I never saw him come into the lobby with me. “Perfect timing, Dr. Madden! I was telling Edith how I needed to shower. It needs to be supervised, and she is too busy.”
“What are you suggesting?” he questions. Oh, he is playing along so well.
Taking my eyes off him, I look back at Edith, who is rummaging through more paperwork. “Dr. Madden can supervise. Right, Edith?”
Her hands stop, turning to face me as she stares over her glasses. “I mean, he is qualified, seeing he is your doctor, but...”
“You wouldn’t mind?” I spin to stare at Leo. “I’ll try to be as quick as I can so you don’t have to stand out in the hall super bored.”
“If it will take some stress off Edith, then I don’t mind,” his response elicits a giddy smile from me. One that Edith can’t see.
“Fine.” Edith huffs, standing up with the stack of papers tucked into her chest. “Usually, we have to watch them shower to ensure they do nothing stupid.” She narrows her eyes at me. My hands fly up in defense, and then she focuses back on Leo. “Seeing that would be inappropriate. You must stand outside the bathroom. Keep your ears sharp.”
“Wrong choice of words there, Edith,” I joke.
Rolling her eyes, she walks around me and through the lobby door.
Spinning on my heels, I wink at Leo and push past him. “Piece of cake.”
I walk down the hall with Leo following behind me. We pass the bathrooms, and I hear the squeak of Leo’s shoes as he stops. “Where are you going?”
Stopping, I turn to him and say, “I need to get my brush, shampoo, and conditioner. Do you really think my curls look good because of the shit they provide us?” I lift the ends of my hair. “I had to beg Edith to order me products that will help me look like I hadn’t been electrocuted.”
The corner of his lips lifts, and he chuckles. “I’ll wait here while you grab your things.”
I give him a short nod and then leave the hall.
I made sure I was quick to grab my stuff in case he decided he had changed his mind, but when I rounded the corner, he was leaning against the wall and scrolling through his phone. He locks it and tucks it back into his pocket as I approach.
“You aren’t going to listen to Edith’s rules, are you?” I ask while I walk backward through the wide bathroom door. It is a big opening with a wall stationed right when you walk in. You can either go left or right to enter the bathroom. “You don’t have to stand out in the hall. I mean, I am supposed to be giving you a distraction.”
He swallows hard, glancing down the hall. “Veronica, I’m not sure this is a good idea.”
Shit.He is getting in his head and changing his mind.
“It’s just, anyone could walk in and… ” He licks his lips. How I wish my tongue were brushing up against them. “I already risked us being caught in your bedroom. We need to be careful, remember?”
“Right,” I agree, even though I’m growing frustrated. “What do you suggest we do then?”
He stares at me, and I watch as the idea sparks in his head. “Follow me.”
He walks away, assuming I’m going to follow. I do, but I’m confused. Wondering where the hell we are going when the showers are behind us.
We make our way through the halls in silence, and the number of patients huddled on the walls is scarce. There must be another event happening tonight that most of them got sucked into.
Leo stops before the door leading us to the employees’ rooms and looks at me. “We need to be quick.”
“Quick with what?” It comes out as a whisper.
He peers through the large rectangular window in the center of the door and then types in a code, causing a clicking sound. Pushing the door open, he takes my hand, and then we rush to his room.
My heart is racing from excitement, knowing exactly what he is planning. Opening the already unlocked door, he shoves me inside before he enters and locks the door after closing it.
My eyes wander around the room, having only seen it for a moment before when he left his voice recorder here.
It’s the same as then, but messier. The bed is unmade, and clothes are strewn across the floor. Without a word, Leo glides past me and into his bathroom, where he starts the shower.
“Thought you said patients weren’t allowed back here,” I taunt as I enter the bathroom.
“I made the expectation once, didn’t I?” He grins, backing away from the beautiful shower.
The tiles are glossy emerald green, the door is made of glass, and the showerhead is massive. This will be a much better shower than I would get in the communal ones. “And you’re okay with breaking that rule?”
“Seeing as I broke many rules, I guess one more can’t hurt.” He shrugs, peeling his shirt above his head. “Plus, this way, I can join you.”
My eyes freeze on the tile, a smirk pulling at my lips. Raising my hand, I run it through the water pouring from the circular head. It’s hot. “Did I say you could join me?”
When I return my attention to him, he is already undoing the buttons on his pants. “How else do you plan on distracting me?”
“I have my ways.” I set the bottles of shampoo and conditioner down on the white-tiled floor in the shower, removing my shirt and then hooking my thumbs into the band of my pants. “You can’t join me until I give you permission.”
He grounds his teeth together, eyes full of fire. “We have talked about this, Vee. I’m the one in charge.”
Stepping out of my pants, I allow his eyes to wander over my body before I say, “And right now, I’m the one in charge of the distraction.” His hand still pauses on the button, and I look at him through my lashes. “You’ll do what I tell you to do.”
“Veronica...” He warns me with a groan, but I shush him by placing a finger on his lip.
“One day of letting someone else take charge won’t kill you.”
We hold each other’s heated stares for a second longer, and then I back away and step into the shower. I moan from the warmth, goosebumps littering my skin as the water cascades over my body.
Placing myself under the showerhead, I dig my fingers through my curls, separating the strands to ensure every inch of my hair gets wet.
“The water in our showers isn’t this hot,” I state while I continue to massage my head. One eye slips open, seeing Leo resting against the counter, pants still on. His dark green eyes watch as the water rolls across my skin. Those wonderful eyes almost match these tiles. Elegant and mesmerizing. “It’s never this hot. Unless you go early in the morning, but who wants to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to shower?”
“My shower is always hot,” he informs me, but not in a dickish way.
He wasn’t being mean about it at all. In fact... “Are you saying that I can use your shower whenever I want?”
“As long as I join you every time you use it.” He sets the rule. I smile to myself, leaning over to grab the shampoo. “I want to do it.”
I squeeze the contents into my hand. “Do what?”
“Wash your hair.”
My eyes leave the shampoo in my hand and fly to his face. He wants to wash my hair? No man has ever even thought of wanting to do that. “Maybe next time if you’re a good boy.”
He groans as his knuckles whiten from his grip on the counter.
I continue to wash my hair, lathering the shampoo deep into my scalp before rinsing and doing it all over again. After the second rinse, I realize he had been watching me intently, as if he were taking notes on how I wash my hair for the time he may do it himself.
Applying conditioner to my ends, I see a razor sitting in the little cubby on the wall. I pick it up and show it to Leo, asking without words if I can use it.
He tells me yes with a nod.
I’m careful when I shave, not wanting to cut myself because, believe it or not, that shit hurts. I hum to myself, a song I’m not sure I even know, might be making it up as I go. I sense Leo’s heated gaze on me the whole time, watching the stroke of the razor. He is most likely hoping I don’t do anything stupid.
Now, why would I do that?There are too many important things I need to see through.
Like distracting the beautiful man supervising my shower.
After rinsing the razor off, I set it back in its spot. Noticing his body wash sitting on the little ledge, I wanted so badly to use it, but if I did, I’d smell like him.
The idea has my body heating more at the thought of his scent on me. Too bad it can’t happen. It would draw too much attention. Instead, I grab my shampoo again and squeeze a decent amount in the palm of my hand.
This will have to do.
I take my time washing myself, occasionally glancing at Leo to gauge his reaction. His jaw is tense as he watches how my hands roam over my body.
He said he wanted to wash my hair, but I’m sure he will also do the honors of washing my entire body the next time I”m in here.
After rinsing off, I shift my body to face Leo, my back meeting the cool tile wall. I place my hands over my stomach before running them upwards.
They slide over my breasts easily, thanks to the water, and I gently squeeze each of them while I watch his eyes dilate. His chest rises and falls uncontrollably as I pinch my nipple between my fingers.
A soft moan leaves me while I continue to pinch and tug at the sensitive spot. My other hand travels down, gliding over my stomach again until my finger touches my clit. I hiss at the sensation of both my fingers working their magic. I want so badly to shut my eyes, to relish in the bliss, but I stare at Leo’s impatient expression.
He isn’t sure where to look. The hand on my breast? The fingers circling my clit? Or is it my face, the way my jaw is slack as it all feels too good? Yes, I want him to be the one touching me, but if I do this, if I’m the one in charge, then I’m prolonging him slipping back into his dark thoughts.
“Leo.” His name slips from my mouth in a whimper, making the impatient man push off the counter to come to the opening of the shower. I stop the movements of my hand, shaking my head. He halts, emitting an annoyed breath as his large hands grip the glass surrounding the shower.
“You’re testing my patience, little angel,” he warns with a heavy tone. I can’t help but bite my lips to stop the smile from spreading across my face.
“Am I?” My finger drifts lower between my legs, and I’m pushing it inside of me. In and out. Slow and steady while he watches.
His eyes fall on how my finger disappears inside of me. I leave it in, curling the digit to hit that sweet spot, but I come up short. It’s not long enough. When I raise my eyes to Leo standing a couple of feet away, he flashes me a knowing smirk.
“Doesn’t feel the same as when I do it.” He lets out a quiet laugh. “How are you going to make yourself come when you can’t even reach the spot that drives you crazy?”
“I’ll find a way.” I won’t, and I know it. I attempt to dip my finger deeper but still can’t reach the spot he touches so sweetly.
“You need me, Vee,” he declares, full certainty in his voice. “You want to hit that sweet orgasm? Those pretty fingers of yours aren’t going to do the trick.” One of his feet steps into the shower, followed by the other. I narrow my eyes at warning him not to come closer, but he doesn’t listen. He stands in front of me, eyes roaming over my wet body while his tongue darts out and coasts across his lips.
Slowly, his hand lifts and wraps around my throat, bringing my head off the wall, my mouth ghosting over his. “Your pride won’t let you win this. Admit that you need me.”
I swallow, finding it difficult to fully do so with the pressure of his hand on me. “No.”
A sigh leaves him; his fingers dig into my skin harshly. “Admit that you need me. That you’ll always need me.”
I’m shaking my head in his hand. My lips part from the pressure applied to my throat. It hurts, and even though I like it, it distracts me from realizing his other hand is cupping mine between my thighs. He uses his hand to withdraw mine, only to thrust it back it.
A whimper escapes me, but I immediately swallow it down. “I don’t need your help, and if in case you forgot, you aren’t the one in charge.”
A devious smirk forms on his face, and my hand continuously moves in and out of me as he dips his head lower. The tip of his nose meets mine, and the space between our lips is so thin. I need him to close that space.
“My little angel, that’s where you are mistaken.”
Fully removing my hand, he lets it fall to my side, and then his fingers replace the spot where mine once was. I let my eyes flutter closed as he roughly pushed his middle finger inside of me, hitting that spot that I was missing immediately.
“I’ve been in charge this entire time, letting you pretend to be in charge. I was allowing you to have that high for only a moment before I stepped out from the shadows.”
“Leo!” My hands meet his shoulders to steady me despite not going anywhere. The sound of my arousal is loud over the stream of water from how roughly he is shoving his two fingers in.
“Tell me I’m always in charge.” He nips at my lower lip. “Even when you feel like it’s you who is calling the shots.”
I dig my nails into his skin, making him hiss at the pain, and he bites my bottom lip. Hard. The taste of copper consumes my mouth, and I dart my shocked eyes to his. “You bit me.”
“You liked it,” he informs me. He isn’t wrong. I did like it. A lot. “Come on, Vee. Be a good little girl, and tell me what I want to hear.” His forehead drops to mine, and he closes his eyes. “Even if you don’t mean it.”
How can he go from being so demanding to this vulnerable in seconds? Switching emotions like flipping over a playing card. Like slipping off a mask.
“You’re always in charge.” The words are quiet, but I know he heard them because of the way his breath trembles. Raising my hands, I brush my thumb across his cheek while I cup his head. “I’ll always need you, Leo. Not only to make me feel like this but to keep me sane.”
His eyes rip open, wrenching himself away from me. His captivating greens dance over my features in the way he does when he is trying to find a lie in my words or as if he is memorizing the way I look. The emptiness between my legs makes me realize he completely removed himself from me.
Shit. I ruined this somehow.
Shrinking into the wall, I stare at him while his hands fumble below us. My eyes follow the sound, and I watch him finally undo the button on his pants.
He doesn’t even pull them down before his hands meet the back of my thighs, hoisting me until my legs are wrapping around him.
One arm stays on my thigh as he holds me up while the other shoves his pants down. They don’t pass his knees, and he is shoving his cock inside of me.
I gasp at the sudden intrusion, and he mutes the sound with his lips. Crashing his mouth against mine, he swallows my sounds as he drives into me with punishing thrusts.
The kiss is messy as we tangle our tongues together. Gliding over one another in a dance that we both know all too well. His body presses me harder against the tile. So hard that I fear the tile itself might crack.
“Fuck, Vee,” he curses under his breath once he detaches his mouth from me. “You feel unreal.”
This whole thing feels unreal. If I close my eyes, I can imagine that this is normal.That he and I met at a club one night or he approached me at a coffee shop.
I pretend I was so normal that he became infatuated with me. We went on dates, and he did kind things for me. He bought me flowers because he wanted to. He held my hand in public, kissed me at the end of our dates—all the things girls want with a man. I’ve never been that type of girl, so why am I even thinking like this?
That this was a normal occurrence of us being together. It wasn’t, and when I open my eyes, making the fairytale disappear, he is still my doctor, and I am his patient.
My arms drape over his shoulders, hands clasping around his neck as he drives into me like he’s on a mission. He is, I guess. A mission to escape the demons in his own mind.
I roll my head to the side, and he takes it as an invitation to lick a long stripe of my neck before he sucks lightly at my skin. He stops shortly after, making sure not to leave any marks on me. I hate it. I want him to mark me.
He breathes hard against my neck. Panting out harsh breaths as his hips continuously buck forward. Heat blooms in my stomach, drifting down to where we connect.
“I never want this to end.” The muffled words coast along my skin. “You feel so much like Heaven, Vee, and I never want to be brought back down to Earth. I want to stay in this bliss forever.”
Good.
“Me too, Leo,” I agree as the heat turns into fire, bursting into flames and making me go over the edge.
I curl my fingers behind his neck, digging my nails deep into his skin. The pain pushes him over right after me.
He’s falling with me.
Straight from the Heavens above to the fiery pits of Hell below.