44. Veronica
“I’m really close to throwing this puzzle across the room,” I threaten while struggling to find the matching blue piece.
Eliza chuckles across from me, not feeding into my frustration. We worked on it yesterday after Leo left, and she was surprised I had joined her. If this helps me avoid wanting to hurt someone, I might as well try it.
Well, seeing as I want to hurt someone right now with how aggravated I am with small cardboard shapes, maybe this isn’t the best.
“It will get easier, I promise,” Eliza reassures me.
“That’s what you said the first time I sat down with you.” I sigh but cut it short when I hear whispers come from behind me.
Whipping my head around, I see two patients sitting at another table watching Eliza and me. Narrowing my eyes at them, an evil glare is prominent in my stare, and they quickly look away.
“They are just curious as to why you’re sitting with me.” My attention gets pulled back to Eliza, and my eyes become softer.“You know, seeing as you don’t like people? The sight of you sitting with someone calls for gossip.”
“They can shove their gossip up their asses. We have been doing this puzzle for a long time, and it’s like we have made no progress,” I whine before peeking over at all the progress that Eliza has made. “Scratch that. I haven’t made progress.”
“You are doing fine for someone who’s never done puzzles.”
I narrow my eyes at her but hold back on the evilness I awarded those other patients. “Are you going to keep mentioning that I’m an amateur and you’re a seasoned pro?”
She smirks, her brown skin glowing with happiness. “I would never.”
That almost makes me grin until I hear my name being called. Twisting in my chair, Leo stands at the door. His eyes move between Eliza and me, then down to the puzzle we were putting together. That Eliza is putting together. The corner of his lip tugs upward before his gaze lands on me again.
“I need to see you in my office.”
I sense Eliza’s eyes on me; concern flares behind her gaze. “Did you do something bad?”
“Unless you’re speaking of this puzzle? No,” I tell her. “I’ve been spending most of my time with you this weekend. It’s probably for a session.”
Pushing the chair back, I approach Leo, who leads us toward his office. It’s already open for me to enter, and he follows behind me, shutting the door with a lock.
I make my way to the chair, but then, his hand wraps around my wrist, and he spins me into him. He doesn’t waste another second before his lips hit mine. His tongue invades my mouth, and a satisfied moan spills into me.
His steps push me backward, and his hands hold my face tightly until the backs of my legs meet his wooden desk. “Did you miss me or something?”
“It wasn’t the best weekend,” he answers against my mouth, dropping his hands to the bottom of my shirt.
My head pulls back abruptly, detaching his lips from mine when I frown. “So you didn’t miss me?”
The fabric of my shirt rolls between his fingers. Then, he lifts it over my head. “Of course, I missed you. You’re the first person I came to see since being back.”
“I’m also the only person who can provide you with a distraction,” I point out while he yanks his long sleeve over his head.
“Are you saying you’d rather me find someone else?” He quirks a brow at me.
My mind wanders back to the conversation I overheard between him and Scarlet. The harsh reminder that she wanted to be his distraction. If I tell him yes, would he turn this into a normal session and then find her to keep him company?
He wouldn’t. We both know this.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to be easy about this.
“Yes,” I taunt.
Leo cocks his head to the side. “You mean to tell me you wouldn’t care if I found someone else to touch like this?” His large hands cup my breast, massaging me gently before he pinches my nipple between his fingers. Gasping at the intense pain, he hovers his mouth over mine and softly whispers, “To kiss like this?”
Pressing his mouth to mine, my eyes flutter shut from the mixture of pleasures. The soft, gentle kiss and the rough, tight pinching of my nipples. It’s making my head dizzy. “You wouldn”t dare.”
“You’re right.” He kisses me once more. Leo steps back, hooking his thumbs into my sweats and dragging them down my body. Warm lips touching my stomach in the middle of the removal. “Why would I go find anyone else when I have you?” I suck in a harsh breath as he gently kisses my hip. “My little angel, damning me to an eternity of hell.”
A fire ignites inside of me from his words. He inches closer between my legs, where my skin burns with impatience as he drags the inevitable out.
My fingers dive into his dark hair, tugging on the strands in the direction I want his head to go. He chuckles under his breath but gives me what I need.
His mouth covers me, tongue sliding over my clit. My fingers squeeze tighter in his hair, a groan of pain vibrating off him and onto me. He picks my right leg up with a free hand, slinging it over his shoulder and then the other until I am seated halfway on the desk.
I’m panting, unable to find the air to fill my lungs. It is always unreal when his mouth is on me when his tongue is spelling out my name.
I buck my hips, grinding into his face as the need for an orgasm overtakes me. Do I want to end this right now? No, but I need him inside of me.
As if he were reading my mind, his head drops lower, the warmth of his tongue circling around my entrance until he is thrusting inside. He bobs his head, moving in and out of me while I continue to move my hips.
“Let go, Vee,” he demands. “You’re clenching around my tongue already. I’ve been missing your taste, so come on. Give me what I’ve been deprived of while I was gone.”
I come undone at his words. He dives back in, getting every drop out of me. He doesn’t stop, and neither does the euphoria. I’m screaming behind my hand as the pleasure continuously rolls throughout my body.
I shutter, goosebumps forming on my skin as he sucks my clit harshly between his teeth, sending me into a spiral again.
Have I been deprived, too?
We haven’t been able to be together as much as we have the past few weeks, and when we were, it didn’t last too long.
He finally relents. My vision, once blurred, has come back to see that he has worked his pants off. They are sitting just below his knees, cock in his hand, stroking it roughly as he lines it up and drives into me without warning.
Leo’s hand meets my mouth, muting the cry that comes out. He watches my reaction intently, the tears pooling in my eyes as he forces himself deeper. My palms hurt from how hard they were resting on the desk, pushing down on the wood as if I’m afraid I’ll collapse without the support.
Leo removes his hand but only lies it on my neck, where he wraps his fingers around it firmly. The tips pressing into my skin are hard, but I can still breathe. He shoves me down forcefully until my back hits the desk”s surface; pain radiates throughout my back.
I gasp softly, the sounds not passing my lips in order to remain quiet. I keep my eyes on him while he fucks me with such punishment. It makes me wonder if I did do something wrong.
Then, in the middle of the bliss, it dawns on me that he just had a weekend with his family. His dying mother. He had a shitty weekend. He is getting his stress out on me.
Bringing my hands to wrap both around his wrist, I press his hand down my neck. “Harder.”
He stares at me with wild eyes before nodding once. The grip on my neck hardens. My airway is slightly closing, but I can still breathe.
“Harder, Leo,” I beg. He searches my eyes, unsure if he should listen because he didn’t want me to pass out. My lips part, and I whisper, “I trust you.”
He hums in a greedy response. Fingers digging harder into my neck to where I can’t breathe. I try not to focus on the lack of oxygen. Instead, I focus on him sliding in and out of me.
On the sounds of my slick arousal dripping between my legs.
On the sharp breaths, he was taking while his hips rapidly jolt forward.
My vision goes blurry with tears. The corners of my eyes fade, and the build-up in my stomach is prominent even with everything else going on.
A couple more thrusts, and Leo releases my neck. I gasp for air at the same time my orgasm rips through me.
Stars.
That’s what lines my dark vision as my body trembles furiously beneath him.
His face isn’t in my view. Even if I concentrate hard enough, I won’t be able to see him past the stars lining my vision.
They are beautiful, and for a moment, I wonder if I’m dying.
Sex has never been this... euphoric. It’s never sent me to a state of blindness.
I’m dying. That’s the only logical reason, but if I’m dying, why am I seeing the stars that shine in Heaven?
“Vee?” An angelic voice calls out for me. Hands lightly touch my cheek. “Vee, you’re okay. Just breathe.”
Breathe.
The word brings my attention to the lungs in my chest. I heave in a deep breath, the oxygen I’ve been chasing finally finding its home. When the air fills my chest, my eyes clear again. Slowly, Leo comes into focus, and his expression is full of worry as I calm my labored breathing.
“What the hell just happened?” I ask once he becomes clear again.
“I think you went into a subspace?” It comes out more than a question than a statement. “I’ve only had one other girl go there while having sex. With me cutting off your air supply, holding it until you were about to pass out, then allowing you air again, I think that and the pleasure was too much.”
I laugh at the idiotic belief that I thought I croaked. “And here I thought I died.”
He laughs with me and kisses my sweaty forehead. “I can assure you, you’re not dead.”
“That”s good to know.” He helps me sit up and then grabs a couple of tissues to clean me up. “I was worried there for a second.”
“Because you thought you died?”
“No, because I saw stars.” My eyes widen in horror. “I was scared I somehow made it into Heaven.”
Leo dissolves into a fit of laughter as he tosses the tissues in the trash. Gathering my discarded clothes, he dresses me. “If you end up in Heaven, there is something wrong with the universe.”
I smile down at him as he places my foot into my sweats. “I’m glad someone would agree.”
Shaking his head, he tells me to stand so he can pull my pants up all the way. His jeans have already been put back on, but they are unbuttoned. I eye him carefully as he readjusts the band of my pants.
The gentleness in his touch after being rough with me is calming.
“How is your mom?” I ask cautiously. He only ever told me she was dying. Cancer, I presumed, but he never went into detail about her or how he was feeling about all of it. He would sulk and be professional during our sessions and nonprofessional during our other times.
“She uh...” He clears his throat with a cough. “She’s not doing well. She’s lost a lot of weight and is always tired.”
“I’m so sorry, Leo.” I hold his face in my hands, my thumb slowly brushing along his skin.
“Chloe thinks we will lose her sooner than we thought.”
“Your sister?” He’s mentioned his sister before but never by name.
“Yeah.” He leans into my touch, eyes closed at the comfort and warmth. “She has been at the house since we found out and... you know what?” Leo leaves the comfort of my hands. “We don’t have to talk about this.”
“We can if you need to.” I sooth. His eyes find mine with a panicked expression. “Let me guess. You’re not used to talking about your feelings, only listening to others?”
He shrugs. “I never have time to discuss what’s going on with me. Not when I have patients to worry about and a family, even before my mom’s diagnosis.”
“I want to hear about your problems.”
“Are you sure?” he asks uncertainly. “We don’t have to waste time talking about me.”
“Leo,” I offer a warm smile, “I have all the time in the world to waste.”
We spent the rest of the time talking about his family in his office. We were sitting on the floor, his back resting against the window bench while mine was against him.
His sister Chloe is three years younger than him. She works in an office building and hates her job. She has a six-year-old son named Carter, currently in a dinosaur phase?
He even told me that Carter drew him a dinosaur to get tattooed, but it looked like a mix of a dinosaur and a dog. That made me laugh.
He mentioned his sister”s ex, Carter”s father, Jeremy, who is a deadbeat and never wants to spend time with his son. Leo didn”t linger on that topic much because he was getting frustrated by this man”s behaviors.
Then he slipped into telling me about his dad, who owns a car garage and could probably retire if he really wanted to, but the man loves work too much.
Myles came up briefly when Leo told me his best friend was like a second son to his parents. Myles” parents weren’t the best, but Leo’s family took him in as one of their own. He came to all the holidays, casual dinners, and, most of the time, to hang out.
He went on and on about his family, saving the best for last.
His mother.
Jennifer used to be a florist at a shop in their little town. She loved gardening so much that she would donate flower seeds and gardening tools to multiple charities—one of which was for troubled kids—in the off-season.
She’d also help at the public library and lead story times with the children. She was a giver. His mother wanted to do everything in her power to make people happy and to help those who were unfortunate enough to fall into the lives they did.
Leo”s speech about his mother was full of love. Even when his voice cracked, and he started crying, you could hear the light in his voice. I squeezed his hand, which he’d been holding the entire time, reassuring him it was okay and that I was still there.
He continued telling me how he felt his world crumble at the news of his mother, how he didn’t know how the world would go on without her.
A literal angel gaining her wings to be sent back to Heaven.
After he told me stories about his family, we sat silently for a while. Not because I didn’t have words to say but because it felt right. Us sitting together, Leo holding my hand tightly in his, it felt that we belonged to each other.
I twist in his lap, staring at his sad eyes before kissing his lips. “She sounds like an amazing woman. Your whole family sounds great,” I say, biting back the jealousy roaming my body.
“She is, and they are.”
I wipe away a tear with the pad of my thumb and kiss his nose. “You’ll all have each other when the time comes. You’ll get through it together.”
“And I’ll have you.” With my hand still holding his face, he turns to kiss the palm. “You said I’d have you too.”
My heart pounds against my chest. “You’ll have me.”
He smirks against my hand. What a blissful moment—a vulnerable time I’m finding myself wanting more of. Closing my eyes, I push that thought to the back of my mind until a knock sounds at the door.
Breaking the spell.
I stand up in a hurry and go to my respective seat. Leo stands, wiping his eyes. “Shit. Can you tell I’ve been crying?”
“Kind of, but it’s not bad.”
He heads for the door. Dr. Bennett stands on the other side, smiling. “Dr. Madden, how are you doing?”
“I’ve been better.”
Dr. Bennett peeks around Leo. “Hello, Ms. Rollins.”
“Hey, Henry.” I wave.The man in charge eyes me with suspicion, wondering why I sound so nice.
Then Leo speaks, “Our session was about to end if you need to see me.”
“Oh, it’s nothing important,” he dismisses the suggestion. I”m sure he came here to talk about me and get updates on how I’m doing.
Pushing myself up from the chair and heading for the door, I say, “I’ll leave so you can speak about me privately.”
Without letting them answer, I squeeze past Dr. Bennett and leave them to it.