8 Harold
The past few weeks at school have been utter bliss. Although there’s a pit in my stomach whenever we have to snap ourselves out of a lingering stare, or play off the excitement of occasional under-table touches, I can’t help but feel like it’s all worth it: the ripples up the back of my neck when he whispers my name, the wobble of my knees whenever he secretly runs his hand down my back…It all gives me more than the hiding takes away.
‘Is this in focus? I can’t tell,’ Robyn asks Finn.
He stops rocking the developing tray on the middle workbench and turns to look at Robyn’s work.
‘I’d say so.’
‘Are you sure it’s okay for me to be in here?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, of course! Miss Owen doesn’t care. Geri’s in here every Tuesday during her free period,’ Robyn says.
I settle a bit more into my makeshift seat on the spare workbench off to the side. My feet dangle as my heels gently tap the wooden frame. I discreetly eyeball the impressions of Finn’s ribs in his fitted t-shirt, and occasionally catch his smile whenever Robyn’s turned around. I probably should be doing some actual work, but when the boy you fancy invites you into the darkroom to hang out, you go!
‘Oh, screw this! I need my glasses,’ Robyn says, flicking her pen at the developer-camera thingy. ‘I’ll be back in a bit. I’ve gotta go down to my locker. Do you guys want anything from the canteen while I’m going that way?’
‘I’m alright. Thanks Rob,’ Finn replies.
‘Maybe something from the vending machine? Those chewy fruit things, if they have them?’ I ask with a pleading grin.
‘As it’s you,’ she replies.
‘Thank yooooouuuuu!’
She knocks loudly on the light-lock door, waits a beat, then steps into the dark void. The dripping of the sink becomes more present before the clunk of the external door opens and closes to let Robyn back into the classroom. Now it’s just me and Finn, the realisation that we’re alone in a very sensually lit room hits me. My heart starts jumping up and down like it’s on a pogo stick. He shakes off a print and places it on the drying rack. I study his hands as they’re rinsed under the tap and patted dry with white paper towels. He looks behind himself at the door and then smiles at me. I smile back. He slowly makes his way over.
‘How’s your coursework go—’
I’m cut short. His cold, damp hands push my cheeks together and my lips are welded shut by his. My eyelids didn’t even have time to close, so my eyes are almost popping out of my skull. Breathing stopped. Heart stopped. Legs quivering. He’s literally right between my thighs…Uh oh. This is hot. Really hot. It’s happening. Oh God, it’s happening. I’m suddenly aware of how tight my jeans are around my waist. He backs away and looks between my left and right eye.
‘I’ve wanted to do that all week,’ he says, dropping his hands to hold my thighs. ‘Was it okay? To kiss you, I mean.’
I nod, still in shock.
He slides his bottom lip along his teeth. ‘I know it’s risky to do it in school, but I just couldn’t wait any longer,’ he adds.
‘Do it again.’
He raises an eyebrow.
‘Do it again…please,’ I plead.
He leans into me and my arms wrap around his neck. His tongue catches mine in the first re-entry. We’re both interlocked in a rhythm of kiss, breath, kiss, breath, smile, kiss, kiss again.
What’s this? I lose his lips. But find his nose somewhere near my neck. Oh! That’s nice. Sweet baby Jesus, that’s nice. His tongue pushes pointedly into my neck muscles, running up and down, up and down. Now the rhythm is push, push, kiss, NIBBLE?! That’s new…kiss, push.
‘Finn,’ I let out.
He backs away.
‘Is this okay?’ he asks.
I nod and pull him back to my lips. Time escapes us. I’ve made peace with my tight-jean scenario as an acceptable byproduct of this euphoria. His left hand runs up my thigh and it’s about two inches from my dignity (or lack thereof). I panic.
I sit up slightly and exit the snog. His hair is all over the place and his eyes dazed. My lips crease into a cheeky smile at his sexy and dishevelled appearance. He uses this as a cue to swoop his head to one side and softly peck me on the cheek. His lips feel cold against my radiating face. He looks down at my lap.
Oh shit. I think he felt it.
My lungs quickly expand and my stomach tenses. Fight or flight is about to kick in. He locks eyes with me. My mouth fumbles about whether to say something. My tongue is bone dry.
‘I… uh…’ I try.
A booming knock cuts through the silence. The creaking of the outside door echoes through the light lock.
Finn winks at me and quickly corrects his hair. I have to tense my lower back to stop myself from passing out backwards. He turns back to the sink, while I pick up a book from my side and open it in my lap.
‘Here you go!’ Robyn says, announcing herself into the room and chucking a packet of fruit chews across the room at me.
I jettison myself to try to catch them, in turn launching the book of my tripod set-up. The clatter of the cover smacking the tiles embarrasses me further, as I hunch into a ball to try to pick it up without revealing anything untoward.
Robyn chuckles at me, whilst Finn folds in his lips.
‘Gays don’t catch!’ I exclaim.
‘I’m not sure that’s entirely true,’ Finn says through his eyebrows.
‘Shush you.’ I smirk. ‘Thanks Rob.’
‘You’re welcome.’ Robyn turns back to her work.
The hardest part about all of this is trying to hide it from the girls. Robyn’s thankfully too preoccupied with coursework and Noel to notice anything, but I’m not so sure about Geri. Every now and then, I think about just telling her everything. However, for Finn’s sake, I’ve dug my heels in. I’ve got to stick to my guns and hope she has enough doubts not to say anything.
***
‘Are you and Noel doing anything for Valentine’s Day?’ Becky asks Robyn over the lunch table chatter.
‘He hasn’t asked me to do anything. Should he have asked me by now?’
‘I mean, it’s today,’ Becky says.
Geri and I watch Robyn deflate in her canteen chair.
Finn gains my attention, pointing with his eyes into his lap to silently instruct me to check my phone.
Thu, Feb 14 - 13:20 PM
Finn: You free Saturday?
In reading his message, my cheeks swell. I glance up to catch him watching me intently. His pupils cut through the hairs of his eyebrows to negotiate me into an immediate reply.
Thu, Feb 14 - 13:20 PM
Me: I am…
Finn: Can I take you out?
Me: For Valentine’s?
Finn: Duh! X
I fold my lips between my teeth to try to contain the simmering excitement. I lock eyes with him and gently nod before a smile escapes my control.
He slides his phone back into his pocket and, in doing so, stretches his leg out under the table. His knee glides in near to mine.
A familiar static taps the material of my trousers. I smile just enough for him to see. He looks down, as if to invite me in next to him through the table. My heartbeat is unbearable. Surrounded by our friends, I hope this position is discrete enough if we’re caught. But perhaps the possibility of being caught is what makes this all so exciting. Naughty even. I pivot my knee and move it up to his. My kneecap finds his thigh. Our legs settle into one another.
‘I assume you two lovebirds have got something planned, then?’ Robyn asks.
My heart stops at somehow thinking Robyn has x-ray vision and she could see our legs dry humping under the table.
‘I think we’re just going to have a quiet night in,’ Becky replies.
Phew! She’s just got normal vision.
Robyn receives Becky’s reply, nods wide-eyed and purses her lips.
‘What’re you up to this weekend Cam?’ Becky asks.
‘Oh, I’m busy.’
‘Doing what?’ Geri interjects.
‘Some family stuff.’
‘What kind of family stuff?’ Geri’s eyes narrow.
‘George has a…a sports thing in London. I said I’d go.’
‘Right…’ Geri hesitates. ‘What’re you up to Finn?’ she asks, spinning her head.
‘Me?’
‘Yes…What’re you doing this weekend?’
‘Oh, nothing,’ Finn replies as his leg starts to bounce next to mine.
‘Oh Great! You can join Robyn and I on Saturday for a movie night then?’
‘No!’ I spontaneously exclaim over the table, causing everyone to fling their heads around to me. ‘I just—Didn’t you say you were going to puppy training?’ I stare at Finn without blinking, hoping he can mind-read.
‘Yes! Puppy training! I completely forgot.’
‘Puppy training?’ Geri repeats with a slightly raised brow. ‘Yep! Sammy’s going to learn how to play dead and everything!’ Finn announces.
‘Cute,’ Robyn accepts, likely believing every word.
Geri looks at me with her ‘you’re up to something’ look. I pretend I don’t see it, sit up straight and cough.
‘What’s the name of that sushi place you guys went to last year?’ I ask Jack and Becky, quickly changing the subject.
The bell rings and the table separates into two directions—Jack and Becky towards music and the four of us towards chemistry. Robyn and Geri start planning their movie night, whilst Finn and I track a few steps behind them down the corridor.
‘Puppy training?!’ Finn whispers as we walk.
‘What was I supposed to say?’
‘I don’t know. But I’m a terrible liar, and I’m ninety-nine per cent sure that Geri knew I was—’
Finn stops as we both catch Geri turning around to look at us whispering. We both lean out of our hushed conversation and throw her an unconvincing smile and a flustered wave each. She rolls her eyes and returns to her conversation with Robyn.
He leans back in. ‘What do you want to do then? On Saturday?’
‘I thought you were doing puppy training?’ I jest.
He pushes his chin forward and flares his nostrils. I smirk in reply.
‘Well, you mentioned London. Do you maybe want to look around the cliché tourist spots? Maybe get lunch?’ he asks.
‘I’d love that.’ I smile mere inches from his lips. I look up at his dimples creasing and have to back myself away before I allow myself to succumb to his effortless charm any further.
***
‘Now arriving at London Paddington. This train terminates here. All change.’ The monotone announcement says.
As people begin re-wrapping themselves for the cold and gather their belongings from the overhead luggage rack, Finn is staring out the window, watching the platform slowly stop next to us. As the final tug of the train cars rock us to a standstill, he spins around excitedly.
‘We’re here!’ he sings in a comedic operatic style, oblivious to the standing passengers who have all turned to chuckle at his announcement.
‘Where to then?’ I ask, stepping off onto the platform.
He doesn’t reply. I walk a couple of paces away from the train to avoid blocking the door. I look on either side of me before I realise he’s not there. I look back at the open train doors.
‘May I help you with that?’ Finn offers down to an elderly woman struggling with a rather large suitcase.
‘Oh, thank you. That would be lovely,’ the woman replies, looking up at him with a fragile smile. I feel my heart twisting in place. Pulling on every other organ in my chest to almost bring me to my knees at just how giddy this interaction makes me. Watching how he expertly lifts the case off its wheels and into the air. His jacket does a terrible job of hiding his biceps as they bulge in his sleeves, tightening the fabric and tightening my heartstrings even more so.
He gracefully plants the case down on the platform, quickly enough to then offer his hand back to the lady. A carrier bag dangles in the crease of her arm, as she takes Finn’s hand and slowly lowers herself to the ground. Finn grows ten inches taller as she shrinks to his side.
‘Oh, you are a good boy. Thank you so much,’ the lady says, patting his chest in appreciation.
‘My pleasure. Have a good day!’ he replies, shining his pearly whites down to her and pulling the suitcase in to meet her side. He looks up to see me unashamedly staring.
‘As if I needed more reason—’ I start, grinning at his chivalry.
‘More reason to what?’
‘Nothing. Can’t have you thinking I like you or anything,’ I say sarcastically.
Finn blushes. ‘Stop it you. Come on, I don’t want it to get booked up.’ He places his fingertips on my elbow and moves me along.
We take the tube to South Kensington, and he weirdly seems to know where he’s going.
‘Can you please tell me now?!’I plead as we emerge into the crisp daylight.
‘Nope. Now close your eyes.’
‘Seriously?’ I plead.
‘Seriously.’
I close my eyes and try to stop myself from laughing at this ridiculousness. Finn’s hands take hold of my shoulders and tug on my upper body to move me several steps forward. I peek downward through my eyelids slightly, so as not to lose my footing.
‘No peeking!’ Finn shouts as I close my eyes again.
Finn moves one hand from my shoulder to now cover my eyes. His cold fingers catch me off guard, but I continue to let him lead me up a set of steps. Never before has a man gone out of his way to surprise me with something…Nor risked killing me by nearly tripping me up a flight of stairs.
‘Ta-dah!’ Finn announces, pulling his hands away from my face.
‘I can open my eyes now?’
‘Yes!’
There, before me, towering in all its architectural extravagance, is the Natural History Museum. On the front grounds, a rather spectacular ice rink is set up in the museum’s shadow. Skaters weave in and out of one another around a withered Christmas tree that should have been taken down weeks ago.
‘Are we going ice skating?!’ I ask with glee bubbling in my stomach.
‘We’re going ice skating!’ he screams excitedly.
I forget where we are and almost jump into his arms to kiss him. I’m so excited to spend a whole day in his company that I’d give anything to get closer to him. I pull him in by his collar, his smile gives me the green light to kiss him. However, a rather stern-looking man is quick to evaporate my almost-affection. His glare over Finn’s shoulder is somewhat uncalled for. You’d think I’d loudly offered to give Finn a blow job or something. I back out of the near-kiss and settle for a squeeze.
‘Come on,’ I say, taking his biceps in my hand.
We descend the weaving path and step into a large pop-up foyer. We have to serpentine through countless couples, tour groups and families, all scurrying about their London adventure and joining the line for tickets.
‘I’ll be back in a sec,’ Finn says.
He leaves me standing next to a giant polar bear figure with a red woolly hat on its head, mittens on its paws and holding a sign that reads Tickets This Way.
‘Come here often?’ I jokingly ask the bear.
He stares blankly over my head.
‘If you were real, you’d be laughing.’
A few minutes later, Finn returns looking sheepish.
‘Everything okay?’ I ask.
‘I’m so sorry. They’re fully booked for the rest of the day.’ He slumps his head into me with a thud against my collarbone.
‘It’s okay! It’s fine,’ I say, taking his arms in my hands and propping him back up.
‘No, it’s not. I had this whole thing planned out. I should’ve just booked it online. I’m so sorry.’
I pause for a moment and study his expression. He’s defeated. Completely so. I want to kiss him.
But no Cam…In public, remember?
I settle for rubbing his back in a hug. It’s not close enough, but I guess it’ll do for now. Finally being out of Seaton and able to be affectionate with him is met by the reality of actually doing so. Why is this so complicated? I want to kiss him so badly. But I don’t think I could take another glare. I’m angry. Or is it confidence? Whatever it is, I’ve got an idea.
‘Hang on,’ I say, turning him into where I was stood.
‘Where are you going?’
‘You wanted to go ice skating? We’re going to go ice skating. Wait here,’ I affirm, pointing to his feet next to the polar bear’s paws. I watch him look up at the polar bear leaning over him. His childlike intrigue in the bear makes me gently giggle, as I head over to the line for tickets.
Approaching the front of the line, I look between the two attendants working inside the half-windowed booth: a middle-aged man who looks like he hasn’t smiled since 2003, and a woman who’s probably only a couple of years older than I am. Based on her smile, she’s the one I’m hoping to get. She has long, mousey brown hair, freckles that run over her nose and inviting green eyes framed by thick turtle shell glasses.
‘Next!’ the grumpy attendant calls to the lady next in line.
I count the people in front of me and work out that I’m likely to get the younger woman. I watch her interactions; her smile and gentle tone affirm she is definitely my best shot. As the line moves forward step by step, my phone buzzes in my pocket—a text from Robyn that starts with the word ‘Noel.’
‘I’ll deal with that later,’ I whisper to myself, sliding it back into my pocket.
‘Next!’
Oh, bollocks. It’s the grumpy man.
‘Uh, sorry, I just need a second to decide.’ I act out my best ‘after you’ to the man behind me and pretend to scan the price board.
‘Next please!’ the woman calls.
I slide myself over to her, cutting off the next person in line who tried to make a quick move.
‘Hello,’ she says with a tired but happy demeanour.
‘Hello, how are you?’ I ask.
Her face perks up slightly.
‘I’m good. Thank you for asking. How can I help?’
‘Okay. You see that boy over there? The one by the polar bear?’I gesture towards Finn, who’s now taking a selfie with the towering figure.
‘I do.’
‘Well, we’re sort of on a date. And this is my first date…at least, my first proper date. With a boy. And, he had this whole day planned out where we’d come to London and go ice skating and stuff.’
‘Okay…’ she says in a tone that makes me think I should get to my point.
‘Whilst I understand you’re fully booked, is there any way, any way at all, that we could maybe wait around for a cancellation or something?’ I finish and then wait with bated breath, forming my best set of puppy-dog eyes.
She looks over to Finn again, back to me, then looks down at her desk and pauses. She screws her lips to one side as if she’s working out an equation.
I glance at her wrist and notice a rainbow pride bracelet in amongst a few tattered music festival wristbands.
‘Give me one second,’ she says, holding up a finger and spinning herself off her chair. She walks further into the back of the ticket booth and through a door.
A few minutes go by and I look over to Finn. He throws an inquisitive thumbs-up. To which I shrug my shoulders in reply.
‘Here you go,’ she says, catching my attention and holding out two tickets for me. ‘Have fun on your date.’ She smiles.
My eyes widen and my jaw drops.
‘Are you serious?’
She nods with closed eyes and a grin.
‘No way! Thank you!’ I reply, gently taking the tickets in my hand and fumbling for my wallet. I start sliding out my debit card.
‘No need,’ she says, gesturing for me to stop. ‘These are on the house.’
‘What? No, no, I can pay! I don’t want you to get in trouble.’
‘I won’t get in trouble. Please, take the tickets and go and have fun,’ she replies all too coolly.
‘Are you sure?’ I plead finally, poking my card towards the window once more.
‘Positive! Now go. He’s cute, and he’s stood there by himself.’
‘Thank you so much. Thank you! Wh—What was your name?’
‘Emily.’
‘Thank you Emily.’ I throw her the biggest smile ever and almost well up at her kindness.
I gather myself from gratitude and turn it towards cockiness as I strut over to Finn.
‘Fancy going ice skating?’ I say, flashing up the tickets and parting them like a magic trick.
‘What?! How?!’ he exclaims with his mouth hanging open.
‘Don’t know. Just got lucky I guess.’
‘Let me give you the money for them,’ Finn says, taking out his wallet. ‘How much were they?’
‘It’s cool. They’re free.’
‘No, seriously, how much are they?’ he interrupts, not even considering I’d actually be serious.
‘I’m not joking. I was given them for free.’
‘How come?’
‘I guess I just have the charm.’
‘Oh wow. I’m impressed.’ Finn takes one of the tickets in his hand and studies it for authenticity. ‘Bye Harold!’ Finn calls back to the polar bear as we walk away.
‘Harold?’ I ask with a raised eyebrow.
‘I was bored. Sue me. Anyway, who gave you them?’ Finn asks.
‘Emily there.’ I point to her as we pass by the ticket booth on the way to the skate rental.
‘Thank you Emily!’ Finn calls loudly enough for her to hear.
She looks up and waves. As Finn turns away, she winks at me.
Suddenly, I’m embraced by a feeling. An unfamiliar one at that. It’s similar to visiting family at Christmas. It’s their house, so it’s different, but it also feels oddly homely. That feeling. Weird.
***
The second my blade touches the ice, I’m down! It’s like my right foot’s just rocketed itself to the sky for no reason. I manage to stop my head from falling back and instead land clean on my bum with a brutal thud. Maybe it was a sign from the universe that it was sold out…I should have listened.
‘Oh my God! Are you okay?’ Finn says, scooping his arms under mine and allowing me to lean into him to stand up. He holds my forearms as I steady myself, trying to get my feet to listen to anything my brain is telling them to do.
‘I’m fine, I’m fine,’ I say, trying to hide my face flushing. I scan around the rink and watch three other people simultaneously fall to the ice in a similar fashion. My embarrassment quickly dissipates, knowing I’m not the only one.
Finn skates backwards and acts as a makeshift Zimmer frame, with my hands firmly grasping onto his forearms.
‘How exactly are you skating backwards?’ I ask, watching the ease of his skates gliding left to right over the ice.
‘Let’s focus on getting you skating forwards first, shall we?’ Finn replies, smirking.
‘Seriously?! Were you a figure skater in a previous life or something?’
He laughs. ‘No, nothing like that.’ He lets go of my forearms as my balance begins to solidify on the ice.
My feet jerk back and forth for a second and I have to flail my arms dramatically to steady myself, but I think I’ve got it now. I’m up! I’m up! And I’m down.
‘Are you okay?’ Finn’s worried face emerges against the white sky, with his hand stretched out to help me up.
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ I say, taking his hand and hoisting myself up off the ice again.
‘Maybe we should get you one of those penguin stabiliser things?’
‘I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.’
A kid resembling Little Red Riding Hood skates by and watches the interaction. She locks eyes with Finn and then looks over to me now trying to remain upright. She glides up to stop herself between the two of us, looks me up and down and says, ‘You need to lean forward’ in a surprisingly patronising tone for a ten-year-old.
I look up at Finn in horror. Without missing a beat, she blinks her attitude into the air and glides off. I stand there aghast for a moment.
‘I mean, she’s right,’ Finn adds without even a sniff of a joke.
‘Don’t take her side!’ I say.
Snarky little bitch. I mean, sweet innocent child.
He helps me shuffle to the side to hold on to the banister.
He laughs at my skates wiggling and my arm clinging to the wall for dear life.
‘You and ice really don’t get along do you?’
‘And what are you? Kristoff from Frozen or something?’ I jest.
‘If I’m Kristoff, what does that make you?’
‘Olaf? Maybe Anna I guess?’
‘You take me as the Anna type,’ he says, smiling.
‘In that case, are you going to take me up the north mountain?’
Finn erupts in laughter. ‘Oh my God! Why does that sound so dirty?!’
‘I didn’t mean it to!’ I laugh back.
‘Well, if you play your cards right, maybe I will take you up the north mountain…’ Finn whispers in a deep, sensual tone and winks.
My jaw unhooks. Goosebumps roll over my shoulders at the sexiest thing he’s ever said to me. It takes everything in me not to pass out. My imagination runs wild, pondering what sex with Finn would be like in horrifyingly graphic detail for a family ice rink. My fluster makes me lose my balance and almost go arse-over-tit again.
‘You go on without me. I’ll just linger here and see if I can trip up that little toe rag in the red coat.’
‘How about we don’t try tripping up ten-year-olds, and we instead try to teach you how to skate?’ Finn says through a narrowed gaze.
‘Don’t worry, I can make it look like an accident,’ I affirm, holding back my expression.
‘But I know your plan now, so I’d be complicit.’
‘Damn, I should have thought of that.’
I push myself off from the side, accepting that I can’t cling to the wall the whole time. Just as the momentum runs out of my starting glide, my blades run frantically underneath me trying to catch myself before I fall. With another thud, I’m down again with a yelp from my abdomen. Ice flicks up into the air and lands on my face, just as I catch Red Riding Hood laughing into her gloves.
Finn leans over me again.
‘Wow.’
He bends down slightly and scoops me up by my shoulders.
Finn connects his eyes with mine and tries to hold back his smile at my imbalance. He looks down at my hand.
‘Here,’ he says.
He hesitates for a second, still looking at it, before his lungs fill and he scoops my hand into his. I watch our fingers intertwine before I telepathically ask, ‘Are you sure?’ His smile reassures me he wants this. And I want it too. We are in London, after all; it’s not like anyone we know will see us. Plus, we’re not the only queer couple out on the ice. This whole place feels more…safe. Accepting. No matter what that glaring bastard might think. I feel like if anyone said something, there would be someone else to back us up. Like Emily for example. As sweet as she seemed, I bet she’d tackle a homophobe to the ice no problem.
In the time it takes me to shuffle around the rink once, I’m sure Finn could have circled it ten times by now. Despite that, he sticks with me, hand in hand, round and round, until our ankles begin to ache.
Skating over to dismount the ice, I notice Emily carrying a plastic tub with knotted children’s skates hanging over her shoulder. She catches my eye and looks over to Finn, he lets go of my hand to plant his blades safely on the rubber mats. She looks back at me and smiles. I mouth, ‘Thank you.’ Her smile widens even further before she winks and turns into the staff-only door.
Finn and I wince as we wobble over to the boot benches and plonk ourselves down to unlace our skates. We settle in an area at the back that’s surrounded by lockers. Finn tries to peel his first skate off, with no success. I channel kicking my shoes off after school and manage to free myself pretty easily.
‘How did you do that?’ Finn says in a high tone. ‘Mine feel like they’re glued on!’
‘Do you want some help?’ I ask.
‘Yes please.’
I stand and take the back of his ankle in my hand. The sharpness of the wet rubber mats catches me off guard as I dance in place. It’s oddly satisfying having Finn in such a compromising position. His legs parted, his tense calf in one hand and an ice skate in the other. If we were in this position with far fewer clothes, I know exactly what my next move would be. I’d slide into him, wrap my arms around his bare waist, bend my knees to lower me into his—
‘Oof.’ Finn screws his eyes as I tug.
I shake my head of the sexual fantasy, but the feeling of his calf tensing in my hand makes my gut yearn for our bodies to be pressed together. With each tug, his bum slides closer to the edge of the bench, as the bench itself rocks back and forth on its footings. His hair flops forward and backward like he’s riding a mechanical bull. Sex slips my mind as the comedic sight of his chaotic flopping fringe is too much to stand. A few more tugs later, we both slip into fits of giggles.
‘Stop!’ he cries between gasps for air.
I laugh so much that I have to drop his foot and stabilise myself on his knee. We’re both streaming, breathless from stitches. He dips his head into my chest and his laugh goes quiet.
I rest my hands on his shoulders to keep myself up. Through stuttered chuckles, I look around to find we’re alone. The lockers are just tall enough to offer a pocket of privacy. Maybe this would be a good time to kiss him? Should I? I could. Okay, let’s go for it. Or is this too public?
As my mind ponders, the vibration in my chest stops. I feel Finn’s forehead lift off of me. I lean back slightly to see his face looking up at me. His blue stare is focused and intent. I count myself down and gently drop my head. I scoop his cheekbones into my palms and guide his head closer to mine as our eyes close and our lips lock. His lips are cold, but his face is warm in my hands. We hold our kiss for longer than usual; it feels like it somehow means more this time. Leaning out, I have to steady myself from a head rush that keeps going.
Finn grasps my hips and pulls himself up. Him wearing skates means he stands even taller than usual. He takes over, mirroring the last kiss by taking my chin in his hands and guiding me up towards him. My soggy feet tiptoe me up like a cherry picker to get close enough to his mouth. The only piece of reality that seeps into my mind is the icy breeze wafting through the temporary structure’s walls. Lowering myself from dizzying delight, I slide my hands down Finn’s body to rest them on his hips.
‘Ouch!’ I yelp, laughing through the pain that’s throbbing from my toes. I jump on my other foot, drop myself down on the bench and throw my foot into my hands.
‘Ah! Was that me?’ Finn recoils in horror, noticing the position of his skates relative to where my foot was.
‘It was, but it’s okay,’ I continue fake laughing while clutching my foot. I try blowing on it…as if that would do anything.
‘I am so, so, so sorry!’ Finn shouts, dropping down to the bench next to me and staring at my wet sock as I slide it off with gritted teeth. ‘I can’t believe I did that! I’m so sorry! I’m so, so, so sorry!’
‘It’s okay, it’s not bleeding. It just hurts,’ I continue to laugh through the pain.
‘Shall I get you some ice?’
I tilt my head and look at him through my eyebrows.
‘Ice?’ I smirk.
‘Right. Cam and ice. No go.’
Finn blushes in a nasal laugh.
***
I hobble onto the train with Finn’s help. I limp down the busy carriage behind him as he scouts out two empty seats.
‘Here you go.’He gestures to a window seat and I shuffle in.
Finn sits down and starts again. ‘Can I just say one more time how sorry I am?’
‘Finn! It’s fine. It was an accident. It’s not hurting as much anymore.’
‘Really?’
‘Well, no. But it’ll be okay. I’m just sorry we had to cut today short.’
‘You do not need to apologise! I’m the one who nearly dismembered you!’
We both laugh in the middle of the seat to avoid disturbing the other passengers with our childish ways.
‘Again, I am sorry,’ Finn whispers.
I mime zipping my mouth closed to stop him from apologising any more. Settling into the journey, I pull out my phone: four missed calls from Geri, two missed calls from Robyn and countless unread text messages.
‘Sorry. Is it okay if I call Geri?’ I ask Finn.
‘Of course.’