Chapter 3
Three
Liam
The door opens and Teddy walks inside. It’s a relief to have him back with me again. He’s the only person who brings these weak fucking feelings out of me. I can’t even help it; I gave up trying a long time ago.
He needs me as much as I need him, though. So, this push and pull relationship may never end. His curls are dry now and he looks nervous, not meeting my gaze as he approaches the bed. He pulls back the covers and curls into a ball facing away from me.
I don’t know why that makes me feel like there’s still an invisible line in the sand between us, but it bothers me.
Nothing he said outside made me feel any better.
Something’s not making sense, but I can’t pinpoint what.
If he thinks I’ll ditch him for being gay after all these years, then he doesn’t know me at all.
I reach out and turn off the lamp on the old wooden nightstand before relaxing onto my pillow. Teddy’s still not asleep, I can tell by his quick breaths.
I sigh and rub my palm across my face. “Come here,” I tell him.
His breath hitches as my voice interrupts the quiet room.
“It’s okay. I’m fine,” he whispers, his voice floating.
“Just come here.” I don’t tell him that I’m the one who’s not okay, but maybe he can hear it in the way my words sound forced from my throat.
After a few tense moments, he finally rolls over and moves closer to me, resting his head on my chest. He wraps his arm around me, and a tiny, pained noise escapes him. I squeeze his small form tighter, hoping he can feel how much I needed this.
I had to hold him like this many times growing up. Sometimes his shitty excuse of a mother would do something awful, and he’d come running to my place. Or another asshole at school would fuck with him. I’ve never minded comforting him like this because, for some reason, it helps me too.
It’s probably my sick twisted brain, but I feel proprietary of him. He’s mine. My person. My thing. When he’s upset, I’m the one who can make it better.
And it’s going to stay that way forever.
I wake up feeling uncomfortably sweaty. Even though this room is always freezing cold, my body temperature runs hot— especially when I’m sleeping.
I blink my eyes open lazily and come to an abrupt stop.
Teddy’s back is practically glued to my front, and my arm is resting heavily on his side.
My heart races in my chest even as I tell myself it’s no big deal.
I move to extract myself from him, but he stirs.
His ass pushes back against me, rotating a couple times.
Oh fuck. My cock is rock hard, and the way he’s molded himself against me has it resting right in the cleft of his ass. More sweat beads on my forehead, and my breath trembles. This isn’t right. Has this happened before, and I just never noticed?
His breaths are whooshing from his mouth soft and even which leads me to believe he’s still sleeping, so this is an unconscious action.
I try to move again but he stirs the moment I lift my arm, so I quickly drop it again.
His surprisingly soft ass wiggles against me again, and my dick throbs angrily from the friction.
I can understand why I woke up hard if he was doing this to me in my sleep, but that doesn’t explain why my erection didn’t automatically deflate upon waking up. A guy has never made me hard, and I’m not stupid enough to think it’s just a natural reaction to being rubbed against like this.
I’m a man, and he’s a man. And right now, I’m unbelievably hard because of him. It doesn’t make any sense.
His ass rotates against me once more, and my hips automatically jut forward. My eyes fall shut as white-hot pleasure smolders me from the inside out, and my hips move again slowly, pushing against him.
Oh god. I can’t let myself blow a load right now.
No fucking way. It’s too fucked up— too creepy.
Nope. I take a few steadying breaths and remove myself from him in one swift motion, rolling over as quietly as possible.
My heart is in my throat as I consider what could’ve happened just now.
I nearly used my sleeping best friend to get off. What the fuck is wrong with me?
The next morning, Teddy’s leg is thrown over mine and he’s…
hard against my thigh. It’s happened before.
It’s a little unsettling to feel another dude’s hard dick, but I brush it off.
He obviously can’t help his morning wood.
I slide out of his hold and head into the bathroom.
I brush my teeth and wash my face, before patting it dry with a towel.
My mom instilled these values in me—cleanliness and self-care.
People judge me a lot from my appearance—all the tattoos and my stretched ears, and the way I carry myself, I guess.
Imagine what they’d think if they knew how I grew up.
That’s why I’ve developed a hard exterior.
I only ever say what’s necessary and I’m not friendly either. None of that fake, smiley shit.
When I exit the bathroom, Teddy’s rubbing at his eyes. I don’t know why I see him as that lonely little boy in my head still. We’re both adults now and he’s grown up a lot. He has a whole life now. Friends other than me. A job.
I open my nightstand and pull out my weed tray. “Here. Roll us something.” I hand it to him.
“Good morning to you, too,” he teases. He doesn’t seem to remember any of our middle of the night dry humping—which means he was asleep. I sigh in relief, even though it somehow makes me feel worse about what I did.
“Oh, so you’d rather not smoke?” I act like I’m going to pull the tray back, a smirk planted firmly on my face.
He narrows his eyes at me in annoyance. I give him the tray back and pat his head. “If looks could kill…”
“You’re one to talk! Who smiles when they punch someone in the face?” Now we’re both laughing. He has a point, though.
From my spot on the couch, I connect my phone to my Bluetooth speaker and start playing the song “Foreplay” by Jalen Santoy. I don’t put the volume too loud since I know the woman next door has a young kid.
I want the vibe today to be a chill one. I don’t have to work since it’s Sunday and I plan to relax.
“Ugh. I need to get my stuff back from Asher today. I need my board and my work shirts.”
Well. Today may not be as relaxing as I thought. I drop my head back against the couch. “I’ll go with you, so he doesn’t give you any problems.”
He shakes his head. “His mom will be there, so he can’t do shit.”
“Okay.” I drag the word out. “You’re going to come stay with me, right?”
“Yeah, I guess so. Don’t worry, I’ll figure something else out as soon as possible.”
“You can stay as long as you need to, I’m not worried about it. You know you’re always welcome here.”
“Yeah, but we both need our space now. We’re not kids anymore,” he muses.
I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. He doesn’t feel like an intrusion. I like having him around.
“Like, isn’t it time for you to get a girlfriend or something?” he continues.
Oh. “What do I need a girlfriend for? So they can bitch at me for falling asleep early and not sending a good night text? I think I’ll pass.”
He laughs at me. “It’s nice to have a person who wants you around and misses you and stuff. Doesn’t have to be a burden,” he says this with a certain sadness in his eyes.
His somber expression makes me consider the fact that maybe I did ruin something for him. Maybe I overstepped by rocking Asher’s jaw. But that doesn’t seem like the problem. He’s barely mentioned him.
“Listen, if I want to hook up, I’ll just do it somewhere else. No big deal. I know it’s a tiny space, but it’ll work for now. Maybe after a while, we could rent an apartment together.”
Teddy winces and looks the other way, not meeting my gaze. “Yeah, maybe.”
For not the first time, I find myself wondering what the fuck is going on. We used to daydream about living together when we were kids. I know we’ve changed a lot since then, but I still feel the same. It’s starting to feel like he doesn’t even want to be friends anymore.
Pain lances through my chest, but I squash it quickly. I stand up and grab the blunt from the tray and head outside. I won’t let that happen, so there’s no need to even stress it.