Chapter 15
Emma’s heart was filled with happiness the day after the Beltane festival.
It truly felt like the beginning of something new.
Flashes of the previous night burst through her mind like dazzling stars.
She relived the moments when she and Trevor laughed and danced together, and she felt just as dizzying as she had the previous night.
It had all passed by in such a blur, and the only sadness came from the fact that it had been fleeting.
Oh, how she wished that night could have lasted forever, and indeed it almost did.
If she had been a little braver, then she may have invited Trevor to spend the night with her.
It didn’t seem too much like losing her virtue because her feelings for him were so pure.
The kiss they had shared stoked a fire within her heart, and the heat lingered until the morning after, and she was sure it would linger long after this.
She clasped her hands and could not wipe the smile from her face even as she went about her morning chores, for all she could do was anticipate the next moment when she saw him.
Now that he had seen the world through her eyes, she thought that he must be able to have an affinity with her.
There was no denying that kiss, and finally, she had found the man upon whom her heart could settle.
All she wanted to do was dance and sing and have him by her side, poking her tongue out at all the people who had teased her during childhood and claimed that she would never ever find a husband in the Highlands, for nobody would want a girl with weak English blood.
Well, she would prove them all wrong, and none of them would be able to deny her the right to marry this man, this solicitor, this Trevor Whitehall, a man who still had his secrets from her.
Emma didn’t care, though. Whatever secrets he had did not change the fact that they were in love, and love would always conquer all.
She was anxious to be done with her chores so that she might see him again.
It was also coming to the point when he said he was leaving.
There were only a few days left until her mother was forced to make the decision about whether she was going to return to England or not.
Emma hoped that whatever happened, Lyndsay would decide to take Emma with her as well.
Trevor had seen what life in the Highlands was like; now, Emma wanted to see what life in England was like.
She simply could see no way that her mother would decline the invitation to return to England.
Of course, it would be difficult on Douglas, but the man couldn’t expect Lyndsay to forsake everything in her past for him.
It didn’t seem fair, although she was not inclined to bring up the subject with him so soon after Beltane.
She did not want to turn his good mood into one that was foul, so she ignored him and simply waited for her mother to return.
Last night she thought she had seen a glimpse of her own future.
To see her mother and father swaying gently, hand in hand, lost in their own world was exactly the kind of thing that Emma wanted to share with the man she eventually married, and she was sure that she could have this with Trevor.
Oh, it would be so wonderful to fall in love with him properly, to attend balls with him in England and then travel back to the Highlands for festivals.
She squealed with excitement and could barely contain herself, and when Lyndsay returned, Emma rushed out to see her to speak with her about matters.
“There’s something I wish tae talk tae ye about, Ma,” Emma began, but Lyndsay had something on her mind too.
“Actually, there’s something I need to talk to you about as well. It’s about Trevor.”
Emma’s eyes lit up at the mention of the man. Had the two of them spoken and made a decision? Had he asked for Lyndsay’s permission to ask Emma for her hand in marriage? The thoughts were wild and delirious, but Emma could not help herself from losing control of her mind.
Lyndsay pulled her aside and got her to sit down.
“I’ve been thinking about this a great deal, and I just had a word with Trevor.
Although I am curious about seeing the estate, my life is here.
England offered me nothing but misery, and if I leave now, I know that I would be turning my back on the life I have built here with your father.
Returning to England would only be taking me away from my home, and this is not something that I wish to do.
Trevor is going to return to London immediately and settle the matter himself.
I know this matter has taken its toll on you, and I’m sorry for this, but it is resolved now.
This is my home, and I have everything I could ever want here.
I think leaving for England would be a mistake,” she said.
The words were not the words Emma had expected nor wanted to hear. For a moment, she stared at her mother in disbelief, and then she rose abruptly from the small bench.
“What dae ye mean ye are nae gaeing? It’s yer birthright!” Emma cried.
“I’m sorry, Emma, but I have made my decision,” Lyndsay said.
Emma’s gaze darted back and forth. Uneasy tension unspooled in her stomach, and fervent anger erupted within her, for this wasn’t what she had expected at all.
In her mind, everything had been settled in a certain way, but now it had been upended, and she was forced to evaluate her circumstances again.
One part of her wanted to rail against her mother and try to convince her that she was making a mistake, or at least try to persuade Lyndsay that she could travel to London with Trevor and resolve matters since she was Lyndsay’s daughter.
However, another part of her heard only that Trevor was leaving immediately.
Emma could barely believe it, and she could not stay with her mother for one moment longer in case it was the truth.
With tears in her eyes and sobs slipping out of her lips, she ran as fast as she could toward the village and the inn in which Trevor was staying.
She cared not for her shawl, and she cared not for anyone who saw her running with tears streaming down her cheeks.
She only cared about one thing, one man, and because of him, her heart was already beginning to crack.
She found Trevor saddling his horse, and the sight of it made her crumble.
“Is this really happening? Are ye leaving?” she asked, her voice cracking on emotion.
Trevor had his back to her. He turned, and his face was like stone, although when she looked into his eyes, she could see the emotion swimming within the icy depths.
“I am. Matters with your mother have been settled.”
“And what about matters with me?” Emma asked, the words bursting out of her with all the force of a thunderclap. Trevor flinched and swallowed a lump in his throat.
“Emma, I—” he began, but she didn’t want to hear it. She raised a hand and clamped her eyes shut, trying to blink away the stinging tears.
“Trevor, how could ye dae this tae me? After last night… How could ye just leave?” she asked.
“I only came up here to resolve the matter of the estate. Last night was wonderful, but for you, this is your life. My life is elsewhere. I did not come up here to stay, Emma. I was always going to leave. I… I am sorry if things between us got out of hand.”
“Out of hand?” Emma choked out a laugh and shook her head.
She ran a hand through her hair and couldn’t believe how na?ve she had been.
All this time she had allowed herself to dream, and there had never been any chance of her heart’s desire being fulfilled.
“Is this really how things are gaeing tae end between us?”
“I think so,” Trevor said, and in that moment, she hated him for being so callous.
All the love she felt for him twisted into something bitter and spiteful.
He mounted his horse and took one lingering glance at her before he rode away.
Then he was gone, and the overwhelming emotion within her took her to her knees.
She sank, utterly weak and drained, wailing like some banshee.
Her young heart had been broken. Perhaps her father had been right all along.
Perhaps the English only ever caused Highlanders harm.