|77| • Amelia
When class ended, I felt myself being dragged out by a stronger pair of hands.
About two days passed after the storm, and I made sure to mark out the dates so I wouldn't forget to go for therapy.
Class was interesting, but that nudging feeling in my gut made it almost impossible to enjoy the class, whenever I stared down too long, I'd begin to feel sad all over again.
No...sad wasn't the word, it was more of a longing feeling.
Back to the hand dragging me, I groaned, trying to snatch myself away from the stronger grip.
I knew it was Raul, who else would snatch me away immediately after class?
I still wasn't ready to speak with him, I didn't even want to be in the same batch as him anymore.
His presence taunted me. "Enough!" I yelled when we reached a more quiet place outside.
I was planning, rubbing my arm before glaring at him. Raul had a frown of his own.
He was frowning at me?
I scoffed, grabbing the handle of my bag on my shoulders before turning my heel so I could leave whatever he was trying to do.
Raul grabbed my wrist before I could. "Wait, Amelia.
Wait already." He huffed, seeming frustrated.
What did he want? Why wouldn't he just leave me alone?
If this was about Kaji and Arnold not talking with him, it was between them, not me!
My gut twisted, it was like a constant reminder that Evie had gone.
As time passed on, that stinging feeling was a more numb one.
I missed him badly but I couldn't do anything about it.
I wanted him to come back, and I couldn't take this any longer.
My lips trembled as I let out a sigh. "What?
" I gave up, his grip was firm on my hand.
"Amelia," Raul started, calling my name again.
I didn't want him calling my name. Frowning, I looked at him, waiting for whatever he wanted.
Impatience began to grow in me as the silence swelled.
"What? Can I leave now?" I snapped, getting frustrated myself.
Raul huffed, running his hand through his locs.
He tugged on it, closing his eyes for a second.
Not wanting to repeat myself, I simply narrowed my eyes.
"I'm sorry, for real this time."
And? What could I possibly do with his sorry?
! Would it bring Evie back? Would it make me any less regretful?
They were just words. Nevertheless, I nodded, wanting this to end sooner.
"Okay, I've heard you," I said. He sighed, "Don't just hear me, please forgive me, Amelia.
Not...not being friends again is hurting me.
" He whined -- at least that was how his words sounded.
I glanced at him, surprised at his words.
Friends? That word was beginning to make me cringe.
"If it's forgiveness you want then yeah, I forgive you.
It was my fault as well." It was true, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't keep blaming him when I had something to do with it as well.
My words seemed to make him smile, if I turned to leave would he obstruct me again?
I gripped the handle of my bag, waiting for him to turn instead. "So, friends...?"
His request made me chuckle, a humourless one.
"You never wanted to be my friend, Raul. So no. We're not friends."
His eyes widened a bit, "Amelia-" Clenching my teeth, I stepped away when he moved closer to me. "Can I go now?" I asked, time wasn't going to wait for me, I had promised Abel I'd visit today, and I needed to reach there before it was dark. I didn't have time for this, whatever this even meant.
"They aren't speaking to me because of you, Amelia. The least you could do is help me out."
I glared, "They aren't speaking to you because it was their choice, not mine.
Don't stop me." I gritted, quickly turning away to leave.
He called out to me but I kept walking. I meant what I said, I did forgive him, I just couldn't bring myself to do anything but that. He'd have to take whatever he got.
It didn't take long before I got on a bus going to the apartment.
I would have to pack up some clothes before heading to Papa's place.
It was after I'd dropped down that I realized I had taken public transport back home, unlike other times where I'd have to wait for Kaji to take me.
I smiled a bit, feeling all the more independent.
Jogging up the stairs, I made my way into the apartment, being greeted by the fragrance I'd put around the room.
The living room wasn't as gloomy anymore, I'd mustered up the strength to clean and shine it up.
I also made sure to part the curtains every morning, so the sunlight would spill into the room.
Humming to myself, I entered my room, folding the clothes I'd use at home.
I had told him that I'd be spending a night with them.
I needed to be with my family, Everest was also my family. ..but, yeah...
"This should be enough," I muttered to myself, checking the time on my phone. I saw a message from Abel, asking if I wanted him to come over and pick me up, but I refused, saying I could do it on my own. I didn't want to have to rely on people to do basic things. It felt good to do things myself.
·
Tears welled up in my eyes when Abel hugged me.
His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug.
I inhaled sharply, cuddling into his arms. We stayed like that for a while until he began patting my back.
"What's wrong? Hm? And don't tell me it's nothing because I know there's something wrong.
" He whispered into my hair. I almost burst out crying at his question. What was wrong? Almost everything!
Hiccuping, I tried to wipe my tears away before looking up at him.
"I...We'll talk about it," told him, forcing a smile.
I didn't want to offload everything on him the minute I arrived.
Separating from the hug, I saw Pa resting by the dining table so I made my way to him, almost running into spread arms.
"Papa!" I called out happily, I'd missed him more than I'd like to admit. He chuckled, rubbing my back, "And here I thought you were forgetting your old man." He muttered making me giggle. "How could I forget you? I'm sorry for not visiting so often." I told him.
We separated he led me into the living room with Abel.
Being with them made me feel a bit lighter, I even found myself laughing at Abel's jokes when he was telling me how he'd been recently.
Hugging the pillow, I listened to Papa and Abel talk until Papa turned to me with an eyebrow raised.
"Where's Everest?" He asked, making my shoulders tense up.
Oh, I didn't know Papa would ask about him so soon.
Picking at the edges of the throw pillow, I was tempted to hide my face in shame.
"He...he couldn't come today."
Papa narrowed his eyes.
"Is he busy?"
I shrugged. Realizing what I just did, I looked up, clearing my throat. "Uh, yeah, yeah. He is." I didn't want to keep lying to him, but I wasn't ready to have that conversation, I could imagine how disappointed Papa would be. Abel shifted in his seat, I could feel his eyes on me.
"I'll make sure to tell him you miss him when he comes by, Dad.
" Abel snorted, lighting up the room. Papa laughed, rolling his eyes.
"Well, what can I say? He's growing on me.
" Papa responded lightly. I thanked Abel with a smile, not wanting to dim the room with my words.
It didn't take long for Papa to resign upstairs, leaving I and Abel alone.
There was a pause, and then Abel faced me.
"You two had a fight, didn't you?"
I looked to the floor, not wanting to respond.
It wasn't a fight, I messed up and he left.
A fight made it seem like we were both in the wrong.
Abel huffed, moving to the handle of the chair where I stayed, putting an arm around me.
" He has been coming to work, but I noticed the difference.
He looks...kind of depressed. I wanted to talk to him but since you said you'd be coming, I decided not to.
" He explained. When he told me this, I felt my heart ache.
He was looking depressed?
Hugging the pillow tighter, I tried to find comfort in it.
So he'd been going to work, that was good.
A part of me was tempted to follow Abel to work tomorrow, hoping to see him.
Nibbling on my lips, I leaned into Abel.
"Abel, I did something unforgivable. That's why.
..that's why he's that way." I confessed lowly, trying to find my own voice.
Even after I'd accepted what I'd done, it was still hard to talk about.
Abel didn't ask what, he just continued rubbing my back, giving me the time I needed.
"I...I kissed someone else. At a party, it was a stupid drunken kiss but still.
I cheated on him, Abel. I...I really screwed this up big time.
" My voice croaked when I said this, gripping my pillows tighter.
What was he going to say? He'd be disappointed that's for sure.
I sighed, closing my eyes. "Has he been living with you? " Abel asked after some time.
I shook my head.
"I see." He hummed. "How long ago was this?
" I told him, it was getting to a week now, I was beyond scared that this was going to be my new normal, a separation with him without ever talking about it.
What if he left for good? What if I'd never see or speak to him again?
My heart was heavy, fear gripped me in the worst way.
"Have you tried reaching out? Like...really reaching out."
"Does texting count?"
Abel rolled his eyes, letting me go. "He can always ignore a text, what about calling him?
" I tensed up at the thought. Calling him?
Hearing his voice after a long time would make me incredibly anxious.
I shook my head at the question, would he answer a call if he could ignore a text?
"What I mean is, instead of wallowing in this pity, why not reach out to him?
Talk to him and ask for his forgiveness.
I admit, that's a pretty hurtful thing to do to a person, but still.
If he loves you and is ready, surely he'd allow just one call. "
Abel said. I felt my heart thud heavily at the thought of calling him.
"Okay, I will," I told him. He was right, I was tired of wallowing in pity and regret.
I didn't want our silence to be prolonged any further.
I know he needed space, but I...I needed him.
As selfish as that sounded. Abel tapped my shoulders, "So you're staying here for the weekend?
" He asked, I nodded. I wanted to stay with them, not in that empty apartment.
"So you'll come to work with me?"
My eyes bulged out, "H-huh?"
He laughed, "Oh yeah, my bad." I glared at his figure as he went up the stairs.
"Your room is pretty much still intact, so make yourself at home.
" With that, he entered his room, leaving me alone in the living room.
I heaved out a breath, looking at the ceiling.
"Call him, huh?" I said to myself, counting the light fittings hanging from the ceiling.
After what seemed like a while, I stretched out of the sofa, taking my bag and walking up the stairs. Abel was right, my room looked exactly how I'd left it. It felt good to be back, I smiled at myself, quietly closing my door. Dropping my bag, I fell to my bed, sighing.
How long had it been?
Taking my phone up, I stared at it for a while.
The words Abel had spoken ran through my mind.
I fluttered my eyes shut, muttering a quick prayer, I wanted him to pick up, I wanted us to talk, if only for a little while.
"Amen," I whispered to myself, going to Everest's number.
I'd saved his contact as 'Mine 3', and now here I was, hoping he was still that.
When I pressed call, I held my breath, listening to the dial tone.
This was nerve-wracking.
Would he pick?
Please pick up...
It had been ringing for quite a while, the hope I had withering away slowly as it did. Was he busy? Was I bothering him? Did he just not want to pick up? My chest quietly rose and fell as I waited, waiting to hear his smooth voice. When the phone beeped, my shoulders fell.
"Hey, Amelia."
The voice made my eyes widen, he picked up. He really picked up. It was as though the breath had been knocked out of me when I heard him say my name, how long had it been? Sitting up from the bed, I clutched my phone harder.
"E-Everest." I breathed out, glad to hear his voice.