Chapter Twenty-Nine
DEE
Two Days Later
Colt’s been making an effort these last two days. He has been checking in, holding me more, lingering longer when he kisses me like he’s afraid I’ll vanish if he lets go.
It helps. A little.
Macy’s stayed away, thankfully.
But that ends tomorrow.
She’s coming over to talk through the next steps, and Colt has decided to get tested to see if he’s a match for Caleb. It makes sense—if he really is Caleb’s father, the odds are higher he’ll be a match for the transplant.
He didn’t ask me.
And he didn’t need to.
Still, I hope he understands the toll that can take. Living with one kidney, that’s not a small thing. It’s a permanent change. But I get it. If the roles were reversed, if it were my child, I’d hand mine over in a second, too.
I just wish I knew what that kind of love felt like.
I wish I didn’t know what it felt like to never have that connection with someone who shares a piece of you.
In some ways, I’m glad Colt gets to feel it.
“Hux is coming over in a minute. That okay?” Colt’s voice is low as he wraps around me from behind, nuzzling into my neck. His arms are solid, warm, and safe.
I cover his hands with mine and nod. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
He kisses my cheek and pulls away as the doorbell rings. “Perfect timing,” he says with a smirk. “That’ll be him now.”
I shake my head faintly as he heads for the front door.
Colt returns a moment later, Hux trailing behind him. My stomach knots. I don’t have the emotional stamina for one of Hux’s sideways comments today. So I slip over to the kitchen table and sink into a chair while the brothers move to the refrigerator. Colt grabs two bottles of water.
Hux arches a brow. “Water?”
“I’m on a health kick,” Colt says casually, handing over a bottle. “That’s part of what I want to talk to you about.”
Hux narrows his eyes. “Should I be worried? What’s going on?”
“You should probably sit for this,” Colt says.
“Are you sick or something?”
“No, not me,” Colt replies. “Macy showed up here on Thursday.”
Hux chokes on his water. “She what?”
I prop my elbow on the table and rest my chin in my hand. Here we go.
“What the hell did she want? Is she sick?”
Colt shakes his head. “No. But she brought her son with her. He’s seven. He’s sick… kidney disease. He needs a transplant. Soon.”
I let out a quiet sigh.
Hux glances at me, then back at Colt. “Okay… that sucks, yeah. But why’s she coming to you for help?”
Another sigh escapes me, and Colt flinches like he physically feels every one of them.
“His name’s Caleb,” Colt says, voice tight. “And… he’s my son.”
Hux’s jaw drops. His eyes swing to me, then back to Colt. “Fuck,” he murmurs.
I offer a tiny nod, lips pressed together, trying to keep the emotion out of my face.
“Jesus, Colt. I always knew Macy’s leaving was messed up, but I figured it was just drama, not this. Did you know?” Hux asks, clearly still in shock.
Colt shakes his head. “No clue. She says she left because she didn’t want me to feel trapped. Said if I’d known she was pregnant, I’d have given up the band, and she didn’t want to ruin my shot.”
Even though Macy is the last person I want near our lives, I can’t deny the sacrifice she made. She put Colt’s dream first.
“Wow. Uh… congratulations?” Hux says, unsure, and it lands somewhere between stunned and supportive.
“Thanks.” Colt offers a weak smile. “That’s why I’m on water. If I’m healthy and I’m a match, then I can have the surgery ASAP.”
I swallow hard, heart clenching.
He doesn’t need my permission. And I wouldn’t stop him. But it doesn’t mean I’m not scared.
“What if you’re not a match?” Hux asks, practical as always.
“Macy’s not, so odds are good I will be. But if I’m not, then I don’t know what we’ll do.”
We.
Oh fuck! That word stings more than I expected.
He means Caleb and Macy. He doesn’t say it to hurt me, but that doesn’t stop the ache.
“I’ll get tested too,” Hux says, shrugging like it’s nothing. “Just in case. We’re related. Maybe I’ve got the magic kidney.”
“You’d do that?” Colt’s voice is laced with disbelief.
Hux shoots him a look. “He’s my nephew, man. Fuck yeah, I’ll give the kid a kidney if it means saving him.”
The guilt creeps in then. I haven’t even considered getting tested. Not because I wouldn’t want to help, but because I don’t think I could handle being that connected to Macy and Caleb. Not right now.
“Wow, Hux. Thank you,” Colt says, and for the first time since all this started, a genuine smile breaks through.
“No need to thank me. Just let me know when and where,” Hux replies, clapping Colt on the back.
I sigh again, and Hux’s attention shifts to me.
“How are you holding up through all this?” he asks. There’s no edge in his voice. No sarcasm. Just sincerity for once.
I shrug. “I’m getting there.”
Hux nods. “Well, thanks for sticking around. If I were in your shoes, I probably would’ve bailed.” He glances at Colt. “Thanks for not breaking him again.”
Colt immediately wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. “I’m lucky,” he murmurs. “I don’t deserve her.”
Hux pretends to gag, sticking a finger down his throat and making a retching noise. I actually smile—my first real one in days.
Hux catches it and grins back at me.
“Seriously, though,” he adds, sobering. “I know this is hell for you, Dee. If you need to talk… well, I suck at it. But I’m around. You’re family.”
That breaks something small but significant inside me. I blink back tears as Hux reaches across the table and squeezes my hand.
“Thanks, Hux.”
He gives a short nod and turns back to Colt. “So… you’re a dad now. Jesus. Wait till Mum finds out she’s a grandma. She’s gonna flip.”
Colt groans. “That’s a phone call I’m dreading.” He keeps rubbing slow, soothing circles on my shoulder as he says it.
And despite the chaos, despite the fear, for the first time in days, I feel a flicker of something close to hope.
***
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Colt asks, his finger hovering over the console as we pull up to the front gate.
I nod.
He doesn’t move. “Do you want me to take them somewhere? So you don’t have to—”
“No fucking way.” My tone snaps harder than I intended. “I want to be here.”
I need to be here.
There’s no way I’m letting Macy have alone time with my husband under the guise of co-parenting reunion bliss.
“And Caleb?” he presses. “If it’s easier, he can play outside—”
“No,” I cut in, voice low but firm. “I want to be in the room. With both of them.”
He hesitates again. I roll my eyes, reach over, and slam the gate button down myself.
“I don’t want you uncomfortable,” he mutters. “You know I love you. Only you.”
“I know,” I say, and even though the words are true, they feel worn out. Like we’ve both said them too many times lately. I kiss him instead of replying again.
A car pulls up out front.
I peel away from Colt and open the door.
Macy’s smile is instant. Too bright. Too damn happy with herself. Caleb walks beside her, clinging to her coat. His coloring is pale today, paler than I remember.
“Hi, guys,” Macy chirps as they head up the stairs.
“Mace. Hey, little man,” Colt greets, scruffing Caleb’s hair. “How you feeling today?”
I close my eyes for a beat and inhale deeply through my nose. When I open them, Colt’s arm is around me, eyes locked on mine. I nod, giving him the smallest smile I can manage. He nods back.
“I’m okay,” Caleb replies, voice soft.
“Come in,” Colt says. “We’ve got tea set up.”
Macy’s eyes light up. “You know I never say no to tea.”
Of course. Of course, she likes tea. He chose tea because she likes it. Not me. Not us. Her.
Colt takes my hand and leads us inside. We sit opposite them—Colt and I on one couch, Macy and Caleb on the other.
“Thanks for letting me come back. I know this must be hard for you… Dee?” she says, like she’s not totally sure of my name.
“It is,” I say, flatly. “And yeah, it’s Dee.”
Colt’s hand tightens around my waist. I let him for now.
“Well, I appreciate it,” she continues. “Caleb’s always asked about his dad. It’s nice to know he’s got him now.”
Colt smiles at Caleb, then gives Macy a nod. “I’ll always be here. For him.”
For him.
Not for her.
At least that’s something.
Silence settles in, broken only by the sound of Caleb toying with Macy’s hair.
I hate how perfect she looks like some wholesome Pinterest single-mom dream. And I hate even more how naturally Colt fits into this dynamic.
“Tea?” I ask, and Macy nods.
My hands shake as I pour.
She thanks me with that damn sugary smile, and I return one I don’t mean. Colt gives my hand a squeeze again, and I squeeze back. Harder. He doesn’t even flinch.
“So, Hux is getting tested too,” Colt says, watching Macy.
“Oh, Huxley. He always was such a sweetheart,” Macy coos, her tone drenched in nostalgia.
Colt chuckles. “Yeah, he always liked you.”
Of course he did.
My lips press together as I stare at our joined hands. His brother liked her. Not me. One more reason for them to all reunite as one big, happy, history-laden family.
“Remember that time at the river? With the tadpoles?” Macy says, grinning.
Colt’s face lights up. “When Hux fell in trying to save your hat? God, he stank for days.”
They laugh—genuine, shared, unfiltered laughter.
I freeze.
Another memory they have that I’ll never touch.
“Oh! And what about when Johnny hit on that woman and it turned out she was a hooker?” Macy adds.
Colt laughs even harder. “I’d forgotten about that.”
Each laugh is a dagger.
Each memory is another cut.
“I need some air,” I say abruptly, standing. My throat tightens, and I head straight for the kitchen.
“Dee?” Colt calls, concern in his voice.
I grip the doorframe, grounding myself.
You can’t compete with history.
Colt follows quickly. “It’s too much, isn’t it?” He cradles my face in his hands, and I hate how much I melt into his touch. I want to scream. Throw something. Instead, a single tear slides down my cheek. Because that’s what I always do.
“Talk to me.”
“Have a paternity test,” I blurt, breath catching.
His brows draw in. “What?”
“How do you know he’s even yours? Just… please. Do a test.”
He flinches at the desperation in my voice. But I can’t take it back.
“You only have to look at him, Dee,” he says, stroking my cheek. “He’s got my eyes. My mouth. I don’t need a test. I trust Mace.”
I shake my head, not because I disagree, but because I do agree, and that’s what terrifies me.
“You don’t want him to be mine, do you?” His voice is gentle. There’s no accusation, just understanding.
I break, my tears falling harder now, because he’s right.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m trying.”
“I know,” he says, holding me tighter. “And I know this hurts. But I do trust Macy. She wouldn’t lie about something like this.”
“I don’t know her,” I say, voice small. “But I trust you.”
He kisses the top of my head. “I’m going to tell her about the kidney testing, then I’ll ask her to head off. I hate what this is doing to you.”
“No,” I say. “You were enjoying yourself. You should stay. Spend time with him. Get to know your son.”
Colt looks at me, torn.
“Go,” I say again, gently. “I’ll take a walk. Clear my head.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone like this.”
“You’re not,” I reply. “I just… need a minute.”
“Colt? Everything okay?” Macy calls from the hallway, and Caleb appears beside her.
Colt glances at them, then back to me.
“Go,” I whisper. “I’ll be fine.”
He studies me for a long beat, then squeezes my hand. “I love you,” he murmurs and leans in for a kiss.
“I know,” I whisper, and turn away before I see him walk back to them.
I head through the kitchen, out the back door, and close it behind me harder than necessary. I don’t stop walking. Down the stairs. Past the garden. Toward the willow tree. It’s the only place left that still feels like ours.
My breath catches when I reach the base of the tree, knees buckling as I collapse onto the grass. I bury my face against my arms and cry, not quiet tears, but guttural sobs that scrape my throat raw.
The kind that burn.
I am furious.
Furious at fate.
At timing.
At the damn universe for twisting the knife when I thought we’d finally found peace.
He gets to smile.
He gets a second chance.
And I? I get to sit out here in the cold, watching snow fall on the wreckage of the life I thought we were building.
Time passes in a blur. My whole body is numb—part from grief, part from frost. I don’t even hear the footsteps until they’re close.
“Dee…” Colt’s voice is rough as he crouches beside me. “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’ve been crying this whole time?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“You’re a terrible liar,” he says softly, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close. His warmth seeps through me like sunlight through cracked glass.
“I should’ve come after you sooner,” he murmurs. “I got caught up in memories that don’t matter anymore. I’m sorry, Dee. I fucked up.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.
“Why here?” he asks.
“I needed to remember what we have, what we built. I needed to feel it again.”
He pulls me in tighter. “I hate that I left you out here. I’ll never do that again.”
We sit in silence for a moment, the weight of everything between us settling like snow.
He kisses my temple. “Let’s get you warm. Bath time?”
“Only if you’re joining me.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
He stands and holds out his hand.
I take it.
Because I’m not done fighting yet.