Chapter 17 Navy Achebe
Navy Achebe
The glass rattled before it shattered, but when it finally gave in, my body went still.
"Navy, get down!" Chosyn yelled.
Her hand was already over mine, yanking me down as chairs clattered and shrill screams ripped through the restaurant. Bullets ricocheting rang in my ears as I ducked. Then it stopped. As quickly as the shots came, they disappeared, leaving behind silence, rattled patrons, and shattered glass.
"You're bleeding!" Chosyn blurted; eyes wide as she scanned my face.
"I'm okay," I told her, moving her hand from my face. "Glass must've cut me when I ducked down."
I forced a faint smile that was more for her than it was for myself. Her lips pressed together, dragging her lids low.
"I'm fine, Chosyn. I promise."
"I'll take your word for it," she huffed, standing up to dust herself off. "I wonder what that was about. Someone shooting in Onyx Hill is so damn random."
"Right," I mumbled.
"Navy, are you sure you’re okay?" Gigi's worrisome tone ended my replay of what happened at the restaurant. Chosyn swore it was random, but it didn't feel that way to me.
"They… they weren't shooting at us," I uttered.
Chosyn frowned. "Why would they?"
"No, I mean—" I shook my head. "Never mind. My head is throbbing. I should probably lie down."
I pushed off the couch, but the room tilted. I dropped down groaning and feeling nauseous.
"Maybe just sit tight and wait for your man to come pick you up," Gigi suggested, leaning over the coffee table to place her hand on my forehead. "You're a little warm. I'll get you water."
I smiled at Gigi, then turned to Chosyn once she was out of the room. "You told Honor? I asked you not to say anything."
"And I didn't," she fired back. "I didn't even tell Wolfe, and you know he's gon' be on my ass about not calling him."
"Then why is Honor on his way over here?"
"Gigi must've called him." Chosyn shrugged.
"Gigi," I huffed as she came back into the living room. "Did you tell Honor what happened?"
"Drink," she ordered, handing me a glass of water with a lemon wedge and a few mint leaves. "I didn't tell Honor anything. I called River because the boys weren't answering their phones. I hung up with her, and a few minutes later, she sent a text saying Honor and Wolfe were on their way."
"Gigi," I groaned.
"Was I not supposed to say anything?"
"She didn't want Honor to know," Chosyn answered for me.
"Since when can't Honor know what's going on with you?"
"He can. I just… didn't want him to." Bringing my glass to my lips, I took a sip to keep from having to explain further.
"You could have died, Navy! Why can't he know?"
"I wasn't going to die. They weren't even shooting at us," I scoffed. Chosyn and I sat near a window with the perfect street view. If someone wanted to hit us, they could've.
"Either way, someone was shooting, and y'all could've been hurt," Gigi complained. "I would never hear the end of it if I knew and didn't get word to your husband."
Kissing my teeth, I rolled my eyes. "I'm not married."
Gigi's brows furrowed as her eyes cut in my direction. "Since when?"
"Since Honor never asked me to be his wife."
"That never stopped you from claiming him as your husband before."
I shrugged because Gigi was right. No one could tell me Honor wasn't my husband. I used to have dreams of what our wedding would look like. Now I questioned everything that came out of his mouth and wondered if my place in his life was still permanent or just for the time being.
"Okay," Gigi clicked her tongue. "Someone better tell me what the hell is going on before I pull out ole leather and start putting belt to ass as you young kids say."
"Gigi, no one in our age group is saying that." Chosyn laughed. "That's more Kyree and Kysre's lane."
"I don't care whose lane it is. Someone better tell me something."
"There's nothing to tell," I told her. "Honor and I aren't husband and wife. And if I'm being honest, nobody outside of family even knows we're together forreal."
"And whose fault is that?" Gigi fired off. "I already told y'all to knock it off with this secrecy bullshit. Love that's hidden is a love that won't last."
"Are you saying my relationship is going to fail?"
Panic crept in fast. It was funny how quickly I went from not claiming my man to worrying about whether our relationship would fail.
"That's not what I said. Love isn't meant to be caged, Navy. It's supposed to be beautiful and pure and make other people want to fall in love too."
"Like Wolfie and me." Chosyn giggled. "That man would die if I tried to hide him. Wolfe is gonna make sure everyone, everywhere knows I'm his wife and that he’s, my husband."
The blush that bloomed across her face made my heart ache. The certainty they had in one another was beautiful and pure, just as Gigi said it was supposed to be.
I wanted that. I used to have that. Now, all I have are unanswered questions drowning in insecurities.
"Honor and I are just different. We like our privacy."
Even as I said it, I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince.
Liking our privacy started because Honor wanted to hide our relationship from my father.
He swore Lucian would use our relationship against him.
I didn't want to put him in a position where he'd have to choose, so I agreed.
As the years went on, I found myself comfortable with people not knowing.
I turned down men who showed interest, and as far as I knew, Honor did the same.
Those closest to us knew, and that was fine with me.
Eventually, Lucian found out, and he didn't make a fuss, but we still stayed a secret.
"There's nothing wrong with wanting privacy," Gigi agreed. "I keep my relationships private."
"Okay, so why make my relationship being private a big deal?"
"I keep my situations private because there's nothing guaranteed about them.
I'm having fun, and privacy allows it to stay that way without the opinions of others.
You and Honor are as promised, as the word implies.
Yet, y'all don't love each other out loud.
Y'all love each other in the quiet moments, in the space that lingers between a breath and voicing a thought.
As beautiful as that can be, it's not privacy… that's being hidden."
"Damn, Gigi." Chosyn frowned.
"What did I say wrong?" Gigi asked.
"Nothing, but Navy is going through a lot. Telling her that the man she loves is hiding her isn't really helping."
"How am I supposed to know she's going through a lot when no one tells me anything?"
"Please don't argue over my issues," I told them both. "Chosyn, before you, I didn't talk to anyone about my relationship or anything else for that matter."
"Aww, I'm special," Chosyn cooed, leaning her head on my shoulder.
"Please move." I laughed, then got serious. "I don't think we're hiding what we have. We've been trying to protect it for so long that it's become second nature to us. We love when the world's not watching and lean on each other when life becomes too much."
"I get that," Gigi affirmed, softening her tone. "What the two of you have is special. Few people can say they met their soulmate at eleven and ten."
Soulmate.
I tossed the word around, wondering if that's what we really were, or if we just stamped ourselves soulmates because of his need for me and my want for him.
"Maybe that's the problem," I grumbled.
"How can wanting to protect your relationship be a problem?" Chosyn frowned.
"Not protecting it, but how long we've been together," I clarified, then took another sip of water to keep from having to look at either of them.
"Let it out, girl," Gigi encouraged.
Closing my eyes, I let my thoughts pour out in hopes Gigi and Chosyn would tell me I'm crazy for feeling how I felt.
"It's like… for more than half my life I've been connected to this man, a man whose presence is all-consuming.
Even as a kid, Honor walked into a room and made everyone notice him.
But with me, it's like I can feel him. He doesn't have to touch me for him to linger on my skin.
That's what made me look out the window the day we met.
I was in the kitchen cooking, minding my business, when this scrawny boy walked through.
He didn't speak, but he didn't have to. I felt myself being pulled in his direction, and when he was outside with Lucian, I felt that same pull again.
He needed me, so I obliged. I raced out of the house to stop him from killing himself. " My lips trembled, and my voice broke.
"Oh, Navy," Chosyn cooed, wrapping me in her arms.
"I'm okay," I reassured her, pulling out of her embrace.
"Wow, I didn't know you and Honor were like… that," Chosyn stated.
"No one does because he and I don't really talk about that.
Back then, I was too young to know love or how to protect someone, but for whatever reason, I knew Honor needed me to do both for him.
Over the years I learned him. I became whatever he needed when he needed it.
But wha… what if he doesn't need me anymore? "
"Navy, I don't think—"
"Just listen," I told Chosyn. "I know I shouldn't want to be needed because a person's need is temporary, but what else do I have to cling to when it always feels like Honor needs me?"
"Honor doesn't only need you, sweetheart." Gigi's voice came in as gentle as a baby's touch.
"You don't know him how I do. Honor wants nothing.
When we're together, and I'm wrapped in his arms, he doesn't whisper that he wants me.
He tells me with angst how much he needs me.
And maybe that should be enough. Maybe I'm ungrateful, but a man saying he needs me in a tone that's based in fear isn't romantic to me. I would rather be wanted."
I felt a ball of emotions growing in my throat and bit my lip to keep them from flooding out.
"I want to be wanted how Crown wants River. I want to be loved how Wolfe loves you, Chosyn."