Chapter 26 #2
This time, she groaned, and all rational thought left my body.
With my free hand, I tugged at her waist and she perched on my lap so our faces were now level.
I looked into her eyes, which were darkened like I was sure my own were, her lips parted in a half-smile, her hair tousled from my touch, and I knew I’d been kidding myself that my attempt at a makeover had been anything but me trying to get her to see me like a man who had his shit together.
And not the grumpy, scruffy guy that everyone thought hated his life.
I didn’t want that any more. I wanted to be happy, and kissing Holly was making me happy. But I wasn’t sure if she felt the same.
I broke our frankly passionate kiss even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.
‘Hols,’ I said, my voice gruff. I reached out to stroke back her hair. ‘You didn’t want this last week,’ I reminded her even though the devil on my shoulder was telling me to shut the fuck up and just enjoy it.
‘I know, I’m sorry…’ I saw her swallow hard.
Her breaths were as fast as mine were. ‘It’s just you telling me that you did apply to the same university, and that you felt like you weren’t good enough.
I never even thought that for a moment. I stopped contacting you, I stayed away because I was so scared that if I let myself feel how much I missed you, I’d just come back and beg you to love me.
And then what if we ended up like my parents?
’ she blurted out in a panicked rush. ‘What if you left me and I was stuck here like my mum?’
God, so much made sense in that sentence that it was like the fog of the last ten years had cleared. I could finally see her properly. ‘That’s what you worried about?’
She nodded once.
‘You have no idea how much I’ve longed for you,’ I admitted, touching her hair, looking into her eyes. ‘Can I kiss you again?’
‘Yes,’ she said breathlessly. Hopefully. Nervously. That word was all-encompassing. I heard it all. And I felt the same way.
This was scary – like jumping off a cliff scary. But there was also no way I didn’t want to do it.
I leaned in and then paused, raising my eyebrow. ‘How is kissing me without my beard?’
‘Even better,’ she said with a smile. ‘I don’t need to worry about a sore chin either.’
‘Glad you approve,’ I murmured, not wanting to talk any more.
I brushed her lips with mine and then cupped her chin with my hand and kissed her like I really wanted to – deeply and like her lips belonged to me.
God, I wished they did. I moved to kiss behind her ear and then down her neck, revelling in the way she gasped at my gentle kisses on her soft, smooth skin.
I could smell her perfume again and I wanted it all over me.
She moved on my lap and I let out a groan as we touched through our jeans.
I was straining inside them and I knew she must have felt it.
‘Hols,’ I gasped, my eyes moving over her shoulder to the window of the café and the fact we were in full view of the High Street. ‘I might do something crazy right now like unbutton this cardigan,’ I told her gruffly, my fingers itching to touch her bare skin. I bet she felt soft and warm.
‘I might let you,’ she replied breathlessly, surprising the hell out of me.
‘Not here, though,’ I said, touching the edge of her mouth with my fingertip. I nodded towards the window. I didn’t want her to be subjected to any more gossip in this town, and I knew for sure she wouldn’t want that either.
Holly leaned back to look into my eyes. I knew they must look dark with desire.
I wanted her more than I had ever wanted a woman before and I wondered if she could tell.
Did she want me too? Her eyes were dark, her lips slightly open and puffy from how passionately we’d been kissing, her hair slightly tousled, and her glasses were slightly fogged up.
I touched the frame of her glasses. ‘You look a little bit steamy there,’ I said with a smile.
‘We’re a little bit steamy,’ she said. ‘Can I see your flat?’ she asked then, that boldness I had always loved suddenly back. She arched an eyebrow at me and I wondered if she knew how sexy that looked.
‘Sure,’ I said.
Holly smiled and climbed off me, heading for the back door of the café.
I got up, trying to discreetly adjust myself.
I led her upstairs and stepped back so she could come in and look round.
It had been two years since Rach was up here and I supposed it was a bachelor pad with the dark-green walls and leather sofa and armchair but I always kept it clean and tidy, and my bed was the comfiest I’d ever slept in.
‘Oh.’ Holly walked in, seeing the view I had of the High Street. She glanced at the kitchen and then through the open door into the bedroom. ‘It’s not what I was expecting,’ she said, glancing at my vinyl and book collection that took up one wall of the living room.
‘Why not?’ I asked, watching her with a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I never thought she’d ever be in here. It was disorientating and amazing all at once. I knew I needed to be careful, we both did, but I had never felt the urge to throw all caution to the wind as I did now.
She walked past me with those long legs curved perfectly in her jeans and I caught her hand in mine. She paused, turned and stepped closer.
‘It feels so homely and cosy. Not bachelor-like at all,’ she teased with a cheeky grin on her face that made her look even cuter than normal.
‘Is that a good thing?’
Holly stepped right up to me and I wrapped my arms around her waist as she hooked hers over my shoulders.
‘Let me check…’ She kissed me once but then stopped.
‘Hang on…’ She took her glasses off and put them on my coffee table.
‘In case we get them steamed up again,’ she said, arching her eyebrow in a way that was unbelievably sexy.
‘No “in case” about it,’ I told her. We didn’t need to hold back now.
I lifted her up, making her squeal in an adorably girl way, then she wrapped her legs around me and I carried her into my bedroom. ‘You know what would really be cosy?’ I breathed into her ear before I pulled an earlobe into my mouth and gave it a suck.
‘What?’ she asked, her breath hitching as she clung to me.
‘You on my bed. What do you think?’