CHAPTER TWELVE
B ella stared at the ceiling. Her heart was racing. That couldn’t be normal.
Maybe I should see a doctor?
How could things already be this messy? She’d known this man a hot minute. And here she was, falling. Like she was in some sort of romantic comedy or some shit.
Nope. Not happening. I refuse to let that happen.
“Morning, angel.” Luke’s scratchy voice wasn’t helping. Nor was the feel of his fingers trailing up her stomach.
“Morning.” She turned to face him, readjusting her head against the fluffy pillow. “You sleep well?”
“I slept perfect, angel.” Reaching over, Luke laid a soft kiss on her lips. Only confusing her further. His forehead dropped to hers then, and she inhaled some more of the pure testosterone she’d spent the night drowning in. “Stay with me?”
That woke up some brain cells. “What?”
“Stay with me,” he repeated. “Here, at my place. While you’re in town.”
Drawing back slowly, she dared to look into deep brown. “You want me to stay here ... until I go back to San Francisco?”
Duh!
Whatever. She needed clarification. “Yeah, sweetheart, I do. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been in my bed every night this week ... and I like it. Plus, it’s practical.”
“Practical?”
What, are you a parrot now?
“Yeah, I mean, you won’t need to keep going back and forth to pick up clothes and toiletries ... you can just keep everything here.”
Say no. You need boundaries. Like, you really, really need them. Especially after last night.
“Uh, I don’t know,” she rushed out. “I mean, my cabin is all paid for. And it’s nice to chill out there while you’re at work and ...” Think of something else. Quick!
She had nothing else. She went quiet as she wracked her brain. No. Nothing.
“And?” Luke prompted.
She realized then that he wasn’t hiding from her. His usual blank expression had been replaced by creases. Crinkles in his brow and wary lines framed his exposed brown eyes. His mask had dropped last night, but she had just assumed that it would come back with a vengeance the moment he wasn’t trying to get laid. But she was wrong. And that scared her more.
“And ... I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.” She settled on the truth.
“Why’s that?” He knew why. She saw it clear as day.
He just wants me to say it.
It was her turn to let her fingertips trail down his chest. She wanted to stay; she really did. There was no way in hell she had enough willpower to not spend every night in this bed. With him. And really, whether she stayed here or not, she was already in way over her head.
“You’re not worried?” she asked.
“Oh, I’m worried.” The air in the room started to become heavy as she held her breath. “But we’re beyond that now, don’t you think, angel? And it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still leaving in two weeks.” The man has a point. “If this is all we have, shouldn’t we make the most of it?”
Again with the points. Why did he have to go and make so much sense?
Leaning forward, she took his lips as her hand circled his torso. It was only when the taste of him was on her tongue that she felt like she could breathe again. Groaning into her mouth, he closed the minuscule gap between them by dragging her waist closer until she was squashed against hard muscle.
This man is dangerous.
But her body didn’t care. Her body wanted him again. And it was painfully clear that her body was done listening to her brain. It was doing its own thing. With or without her blessing.
***
B ella huffed as she dragged Luke by the hand down the gravel path. He was being a child.
“Jesus, and I thought I was antisocial,” she grumbled.
“It’s not antisocial ... technically , I do want to hang out with another person. You .”
Bella rolled her eyes. Not this again. As much as she’d enjoyed the past few days, which had mostly been spent in Luke’s bed, she was very much in need of a break. If she thought things were intense before, three days of mind-blowing sex really wasn’t helping her to think straight. Or at all.
“Well, technically , you are hanging out with me.”
This time, Luke tugged at her hand and pulled them to a stop. When she turned to see what was up, he was still pouting.
“Angel,” he whined. “You know what I mean. This is my last day before I’m back at work, is it so wrong that I wanna spend it just with you?”
It wasn’t. And she understood they were trying to make the most of the limited time they had together. But she was freaking the fuck out. She needed to be in a wide-open space and around other people who weren’t constantly tempting her with their genetically superior body types. So Wade’s offer to hang out today was perfect timing. For her. For Luke, anyone would have thought she was leading him to his death by firing squad.
“Honey.” Her hand cupped his face, and she watched him soften. One of the many things she had learned about Luke was that when she called him honey , he was putty in her hands. And she wasn’t above using it to her advantage. “It’s just a few hours. We swim, we drink, we say our goodbyes. That’s it. And then we go back to yours and get naked.”
A smile split his pout in half. “Naked for the rest of the night?”
She started to chuckle; men really were simple creatures. “Sure, Luke, naked for the rest of the night.”
He dipped down to lay a kiss on her lips. A kiss that was over too fast. But that was probably for the best, all things considered.
“Okay, come on, angel, let’s get this over with.”
It was Luke who was leading them along now, leaving the dirt path and walking straight into the grassy pasture toward the creek.
As they walked further into green, the hot sun sank into her skin and the familiar smell of freshly cut grass filled her insides. She needed this. She needed to re-enter the real world. Breathe in real air and not the leathery, peppery musk she was slowly becoming addicted to.
The closer they got to the creek, the louder voices became. She realized then that she had no idea who was coming today. Wade had been vague when he invited them. All she knew was that a few of them were going tubing and they were welcome to join.
Twisting to Luke, who looked like a man on a mission as he strode toward the voices, she decided to ask him if he knew.
“Do you know who’s coming?”
He momentarily broke his rhythm to chuckle at her. “Why would I know who’s coming, sweetheart? You’re the one who dragged me here, remember?”
She nodded to herself, resisting the urge to bite down on her lip. “Just wondered if you heard from the guys, that’s all.”
A few minutes later, and it didn’t matter, because she could see for herself who was there. Wade, his brothers, Matt; Jonah; and Zach, along with Libby, Cat, and a man who appeared to be Cat’s husband, Cody. There was also a younger guy she didn’t recognize, but Luke said his name was Benny, another firefighter.
After greetings were exchanged and a bottle of beer was shoved into her hand, Libby and Cat dragged her off to the huge picnic blanket they’d laid out.
“Where’s Rachel?” Bella asked.
“Oh”—Libby giggled—“she and Hunter couldn’t make it.”
“They’re banging,” Cat announced, pulling a giggle out of Bella too. Good to know.
Not unlike their girls’ night, dirty jokes were next to be made. Then, the questions started. Questions Bella knew were coming. You didn’t get to play a temporary couple without people asking questions.
“So, you guys are a thing now ... officially?” Libby nodded toward Luke, who stood around in a circle with the other men.
Her eyes went to and stayed on Luke as she answered, “Yeah, I guess we are. Until I leave.”
“And after that?” Cat asked.
She let a sigh slip, her gaze going back to the two women sitting cross-legged in front of her. “After that, I go home. And we both go back to our lives.”
“And you’re cool with that?” Libby didn’t seem very enthused.
Bella’s eyes dropped to her own crossed legs. “I don’t think I have a choice.”
“So that’s it?” Libby wasn’t doing a great job at hiding her frustration. “You both like each other, but you’re not even gonna try? That’s just dumb. Can’t you do long distance for a while? Where do you live again?”
“Uh, San Francisco”—Bella began to fidget—“but I guess I’m kinda between places right now. Marco and I had an apartment together, but after ... Well, it was too big for just me, so I didn’t renew the lease. My stuff is all in storage, so when I head back, I’ll need to start looking for a place.”
“Oh my God,” Libby squealed, “that means you could move here, to Woodvalley. You wouldn’t even have to do much, ’cause your apartment’s all packed up!”
“Um, what?” Bella was pretty sure her face was contorting just as fast as her heart was beating. “No, that’s not what ... I don’t think. Um, no. Just, no.”
“Way to scare the shit outta her, Lib.” Cat smirked as she reached over to the cooler and pulled out a beer.
Bella didn’t even deny it. The woman was scaring her. There was no way in hell she would be moving to Woodvalley. Talk about total bunny boiler behavior. The last thing she needed was Luke taking out a restraining order on her ass.
“Sorry, I just meant that you travel for work, right?” Libby didn’t wait for Bella to confirm before continuing, “Well, I got the impression you’re not home a lot because of your job, and I remember you saying Marco was your only friend ... and you didn’t mention any family—so I just assumed there wasn’t much keeping you there. If that’s the case, then why not move?”
Wow. No friends. No family. Reality slapping you in the face really stings that much more when it’s coming out of someone else’s mouth.
“What Lib is trying to say,” Cat jumped in, “is that you have friends here now. Me, Lib, and Rach. And if there’s nothing waiting for you back home, we’d like you to stick around ... whatever happens with you and Luke.”
A wave of emotions washed over Bella as warmth blossomed in her chest. Why were these women being so nice to her? People were never really that nice to her. She hadn’t even ever had a close girlfriend before. And now suddenly she had three. It didn’t make sense.
“But you guys hardly know me?” she let slip.
Matching smiles were pasted on Cat and Libby’s faces.
Libby was the first to speak. “Is it that hard to believe that we like you?”
Yes. “I’ve not had any female friends before.” Seriously? Where the hell is my “Don’t sound like a loser” filter?
“Well, now you do,” Cat replied before taking a swig of her beer.
Bella felt her lips tip just as Wade called out for everyone to make their way over to the creek.
It was time to tube.
***
“W hy were you living on the street?”
Of all the times to have this conversation, Bella wasn’t expecting it to be now. In a fancy Italian restaurant. Her mouth full of pasta. Pasta she still had to finish chewing while Luke’s eyes pinned her in place.
She knew this question was coming. He’d opened up to her last week, and now it was her turn. But Luke was well aware that she didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe that’s why he’d suggested taking her out for dinner after his shift tonight and plied her with her favorite food. To soften the blow.
Taking her time to swallow down her penne and then following up with a long, slow sip of wine, his gaze didn’t waver. And his paused fork meant his bolognese was paying the price for her stalling and getting colder by the second.
“I told you,” she finally caved. “I’m no stranger to dysfunctional families.”
“That’s not an answer.” A condescending tsk came just moments later.
“Says who?”
“Says me.” His facial features may have been set to serious, but she totally noticed a lip twitch.
One dramatic sigh later, her fork was reluctantly placed on her plate. “Look, it’s a long story, okay? And I’m not sure right now”—her eyes scanned the candlelit restaurant before returning to him—“is the time to talk about it.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Of course you do.”
She was gifted with another twitch of the lips before he spoke again. “Do you need an incentive, angel?”
It was her turn to curl her lips, this one made it all the way into a mischievous grin. “You planning on putting on a strip show in the middle of Casalingo, Luke?” Not that she’d be opposed to it.
“No, sweetheart, I was thinking more of a share-for-share deal.” He leaned forward, his arms resting on the white tablecloth. “You share, I share. Answer a question, you get to ask me one ... and vice versa.”
So much for a light and chilled night. Things were about to get real depressing. But she knew she needed to give him something, especially after what he’d given her. The truth was, since they’d slept together, the fortress Luke had built around himself had crumbled. He wasn’t hiding. Or dodging questions. He was opening up, freely. Sharing stories from his childhood, ranging from his time in care to his favorite foster family, the Coulthards. No prompting necessary. And it was beautiful to witness.
So stop hiding from him.
Easier said than done. But seeing as one crack in the foundation wouldn’t bring down an entire wall, she decided to give it a try. After a little more liquid courage. She gave him a nod as she drained the last of her drink.
“My parents were addicts.” Another sigh left her lips. “Meth, in case you were wondering.” Luke purposely wasn’t reacting; his serious expression was firmly in place and all amusement that had been there a second ago was gone. “My childhood was pretty rough, I guess. I’m not gonna bore you with the details, but let’s just say it eventually ended in us losing our trailer ... hence the homelessness.”
“How old were you?” Okay, now he looked pissed off. And sounded like it too. What was she supposed to do with that?
Ignore it?
“Fifteen.”
“Fifth-fucking-teen?” he seethed. “And your parents? Were they right there beside you on the street?”
Bella shifted in her seat. If he was angry at that, it didn’t bode well for the rest of the story.
She shook her head before replying, preparing him for what was to come. “I don’t know where they were. They just left. Which wasn’t that unusual. I was used to them being gone for days at a time—sometimes even weeks. I was used to looking after myself, you know? And, really, it wasn’t so bad, you just had to scout out the best spots and find good restrooms to wash up in ... it could have been a lot worse ... I wasn’t even doing it for that long, not really, not compared to other people and ...” She trailed off as soon as she caught sight of Luke’s face.
Wow, he’s really red.
“Are you okay?” It was a pointless question. She asked it anyway.
“No, Bella, I’m not okay. How can you sit there and say with a straight face that living on the streets, by yourself, at fifteen ... wasn’t so bad ? Do you really believe that, or are you just telling me what I want to hear?”
Am I telling him what he wants to hear? Shit. Maybe I am. Why would I do that?
He was right. It was bad. Even if it was only for a few months, it still managed to fuel a lifetime of nightmares.
“It was horrible, okay,” she rushed out. “Is that what you want to hear? I was scared shitless. All the time. There wasn’t a second that went by where I wasn’t terrified for my life or what might happen to me once the sun went down. There. I said it. But sitting here repeating some sob story doesn’t change anything, Luke. It doesn’t make it better. Or hurt any less. It’s just a reminder of my shit family. A reminder, to be quite honest with you, I don’t want or need .”
The next thing she knew, Luke was out of his chair and pulling out hers. Taking her hand, he tugged her to her feet and wrapped his big arms around her. Until she was surrounded by him. Breathing in leather and absorbing the comfort of his steady heartbeat as she nestled her head into the crook of his neck.
“I’m sorry, angel,” he whispered into her hair. “I wish I could take it away. Make it better. Make it so it never happened.”
“But then I wouldn’t be me,” she mumbled into his crisp cotton shirt.
She felt him let out a heavy breath as his grip on her tightened. “No, sweetheart, you wouldn’t.”
“And if you didn’t have such a shitty childhood, you wouldn’t be you either,” she added.
She wouldn’t change one thing about him. Every sharp edge, every jagged tear, and every brick he’d surrounded his heart with, made him the man he was today. An amazing man. A real-life, firefighting hero. Who was kind. And loving. And really fucking bad at hiding the softness lurking beneath the darkness.
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” He sighed into her.
“Bullshit.” She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. “You think I don’t see you, Luke Cappelli? You think I don’t know how incredible you are? How strong? How much you give a shit? I see you. I—”
She didn’t get to finish. She was cut off by Luke’s mouth crashing down onto hers and pushing her lips open. Tasting her with enough urgency, even the spices on his tongue managed to fry a few brain cells as her body set alight.
If people weren’t already looking, she had no doubt, they were now. Luke and she were putting on a show. But that was the last thing on her mind as her hand curled around his thick neck, dragging him closer. Trying to get deeper. Begging his mouth to take away the ache.
She drank down every groan he made as if it would satisfy her thirst. It didn’t.
“Uh,” a voice next to them started to register in her fuzzy brain, but she didn’t stop. She indulged in another taste. “Uh, Luke?”
Luke finally released her, drawing back slowly, his eyes not leaving hers even as he addressed the man beside them. The voice she now recognized as the waiter’s.
“I think we’re gonna need the check, Nico. Can you box up the rest of our food and throw in two tiramisus to go while you’re at it?”
A huge grin was pasted on her face, so big, she was surprised her jaw didn’t ache.
Behold, the perfect man.
Pasta. Tiramisu. And Luke naked. It was going to be a good night after all.