Chapter Seventeen
Seventeen
S amhain.
She took a deep breath as she stepped into the apple orchard. It was old, not ancient, but her mom had brought her here to pick apples when she’d been young. The same couple still ran it. Merle took her hand in his as the entered the orchard. She’d never brought a guy with her before. But why would she?
After tequila and sex at his place last night, she’d needed to get back to normal. Talking to her mom was step one but Liberty hadn’t been up for that today. More time with Merle was somehow refilling the well of her soul and making it easier for her to take that next step. When she was ready.
This was the season of the last harvest and she liked to cut and dry the apples to use in a wreath for her kitchen with other branches and herbs. But she had also brought Merle here to use an apple for divination. Sort of. Mainly to see what she could expect from this relationship with him.
She wanted to see what happened when they were here together. It was the kind of fall day that she loved, after all. The leaves had started changing on the trees. As they drove to the orchard, the countryside was blanketed in oranges, rusts and browns. The breeze was chilly but the sun was warm. She’d worn a pair of black jeans and a burnt copper-colored scoop neck Henley under her long black cardigan.
Merle rubbed his hand over his face; his beard had started to grow back in, and she liked it. He looked so rugged and, if anything, more Merle . Though he was good looking cleanly shaved, she was used to him with the beard. “Do I have something on my face?”
“No, I was just thinking I hadn’t had a guy friend. Probably ever. Sort of like Ford.”
Merle shook his head. “Sera’s old guy friend who died?”
“Yeah. I mean they had a shared interest...for them it was books, for us it’s—”
“Sex. I’m pretty sure Sera was never having sex with Ford.”
“Of course she wasn’t. And I thought our friendship was based on us both being oddballs, not just sex,” Liberty said.
“Oh. Well, I guess you’re right. We are both different,” he said.
She could tell he appreciated that. She did too. It was cool that they were both genuinely enjoying each other’s passions and sharing them. She never would have guessed she’d love gaming or D&D. He’d shown her things not to change her, but to share who he was too. It made her feel more seen.
He never treated her as just a friend. This crush that they both had was clearly becoming serious.
She was lying to herself when she pretended it wasn’t.
The card she’d drawn this morning hadn’t really helped with navigating these feelings. She’d asked if she should watch her back around Merle, if she was in too deep, and pulled the Witch from her Seasons of the Witch deck. The card urged her to allow the fire in her belly to awaken. Letting her passion guide her. Which made her feel like her magic was returning even more, like the chaos was calming down.
So she’d followed her instincts and invited him to come apple picking with her. They’d planned to go on a date for a while. Along with her witchcraft, she needed apples for the upcoming harvest festival the WiCKed Sisters were sponsoring in the park the Saturday after Samhain. In just two weeks.
This season, she hadn’t been taking the time for the rituals she normally did. Part of it was because she usually did them with her mom and Nan. This year, that wasn’t possible. Anger and sadness warred inside of her. Why was she like that—allowing her secrets to separate her from her family? Why couldn’t she be more like Sera who accepted change and rolled with it?
Liberty thought of herself as someone who embraced change, but deep down, she knew that was BS. She’d never embraced it. Instead she’d stopped and screamed her way through it. Maybe her chaos hadn’t come from learning her biological father’s name and the potential change there. Maybe she used that as a distraction from what was truly coming.
Nan’s health was deteriorating, and everyone saw it. Liberty had suspected that was why her mom had been going out of town so much lately. Her mom was so defensive. Was it because that time had been hard with her and Nan? Was that why she didn’t want to talk about it?
If her life were less chaotic, she’d love to return the favor for him. He’d really helped her out and she wanted to return the favor. Help him figure out his life. But honestly, right now she wasn’t sure she was in any position to do that.
“So apples? I thought pumpkins were the Halloween thing.”
“They are, but apples are important too. Tree of knowledge and all that,” she said with a wink. “It feeds my inner Eve.”
He laughed, a deep booming sound that made her feel light. “How many are we picking?”
“Just a bushel. I ordered a bunch more for the festival so kids can do apple bobbing,” she said. “I just wanted to pick a few for our homes.”
He reached for her hand and carefully pushed his fingers through hers, clasping them together. A tingle went up her arm. He held her hand so securely. It was sexy, the way that she felt connected to him. His big hand wrapped around her smaller one was something new to her.
When she was with him, she didn’t feel like she had to take care of herself. Even with her mom, she was always taking care of herself. One of the greatest gifts her mom had given her was independence, but it was nice to be cared for, to feel like Merle would be there to catch her.
Picking apples wasn’t something he’d ever pictured himself doing. He wasn’t a fan of bugs and dirt and picking through rotten apples. But he was having fun with Liberty.
The afternoon was sunny and they had wandered deep into the orchard until they were alone. He hadn’t allowed himself to dwell too much on the other night, wanting to just be present and live in this moment with Liberty, without putting too much significance on their date so it wouldn’t pressure her.
Too bad casual and low-key wasn’t who he was. There was no halfway with Liberty. He’d been all in even when he’d been trying to play it cool and agreed to take things slowly. No one made him feel he was enough like Liberty did.
Plus being with Liberty let him pretend his own issues didn’t matter.
His parents were bugging him about coming up for a celebration dinner for his brother who would start his new job with the coming spring season. But he’d put them off.
Liberty shifted and the black cardigan she wore swung around her as she turned, hugging her curved hips. She noticed his frown and arched both eyebrows at him.
“What’s up? I was going to try to tempt you into getting naked with me after this, but you don’t seem in the mood,” she said.
“I’m always in the mood to get naked with you,” he said.
“You know, I’m not just with you for the sex. You can talk to me if something is wrong.”
“Disappointing.”
She laughed and he couldn’t help the way his body reacted to that deep, husky sound. It made him almost forget about the angst going to dinner with his parents was causing him.
“Ha. So?”
“It’s nothing. My folks want me to come to Bangor to celebrate Marcus getting signed to coach the baseball team,” he said. “I was thinking about the cards you drew, and I’m going to do it. Just go as myself.”
“Want me to go with you?” she asked.
“Would you?”
“Yes. I’d love to meet your parents, and I’m definitely a ice breaker kind of person so you can chill. I’ll even be extra witchy if you need me to.”
Need her.
He hated to admit it, but he did need her, probably in ways he was still figuring out. But bringing her would mean... “I’m usually a different person with my family.”
“You said they’re sporty. Is it some sort of competition thing?” she asked, rubbing an apple on the lapel of her sweater and taking a bite. Juice dripped down her hand and she licked it off before offering the apple to him for a bite. “Do you have to hit a home run or something before your dinner?”
But honestly, all he could do was stare at her hand and the bit of juice she missed. He wasn’t thinking of anything but this sunny October afternoon and this woman. He bent and licked her hand where the remaining bead of juice was and she let out a ragged breath. Her other hand drifted up to his hair.
She pushed her fingers into his locks, rubbing his scalp, and he took another bite of the apple. More juice dripped onto her fingers. He licked her hand until it was clean. When he stood up, his erection was throbbing in his jeans. Her blue-gray eyes stared into his as he moved closer to her. Her pupils were dilated and her skin had a rosy flush to it. She licked her lips and then lifted the apple to her mouth and took another bite of it, right from where his bite marks were.
A groan ripped from his core as she seduced him with this apple. “Woman.”
“Man,” she said, tipping her head to the side, a strand of her red hair falling over her shoulder.
There wasn’t as much juice this time, but some still dripped down into her palm. She held her hand out to him and he glanced around, making sure they were still alone, then pulled her behind one of the trees so that they’d have some extra privacy. He quickly undid the three buttons at the neckline of her top and took the apple from her hand.
Licking the juice from her hand like it was his last meal, he leaned in close to her and he took another bite of the apple, his body buzzing with heat as a splash juice dropped onto her chest. He watched as the small amount moved down into her cleavage.
“Sorry about that,” he said, his voice husky with need. This witch would be the death of him.
She arched one eyebrow at him. “Better clean that up.”
He lowered his head between her breasts and captured the apple juice with the tip of his tongue. Placing his hands on her waist, he heard the apple fall to the ground as her hands rushed to the waistband of his jeans and lowered the zipper. She pushed her fingers into the opening and touched his shaft through his underwear, and he knew that he had to have her.
Now.
Merle turned so his back was against the base of the tree. He undid the fastening of her black jeans, immediately cupping her through her panties.
She moaned, that feral uninhibited sound she made when she was in his arms. Liberty gripped his hair and used it to pull his head free from her breasts. Her mouth met his hard as he moved her underwear to one side to finger her, her hips grinding frantically against his hand.
Her hand stroked his cock to the same rhythm. He was frantic and felt like he was going to explode. But not before he gave her what she deserved.
He found her clit, rubbing it until he felt her shudder with growing pleasure. She sucked his tongue deeper into her mouth as her hand worked his dick harder and faster. He realized too late that he was going to come and tried to draw his hips back, but she held on, lightly biting his lower lip. She let out a long low moan as she orgasmed against his hand and he came with her.
He held her, trying to catch his breath, to remember where they were. But the only thought that he could keep in his head and the only thing that mattered was that Liberty was the most beautiful person to him, and he wanted to pleasure her forever.
Playfully, she grinned at him. “I think this is going to be a good apple season.”
“Definitely.”
She dug a packet of tissues from her purse and they cleaned up as best they could. She took his hand in hers and he stopped her, pulling her back into his arms instead.
He’d always been an island, always been the only one he needed in his life, but this witchy redhead with her bold advances and flashes of vulnerability had changed him for good.
Liberty told herself she had no expectations from life. She prided herself most days on taking complete control of her destiny. It was harder lately with Nan in the care home, the sperm donor’s name out in the universe and her own magic being so in flux. But the only way for her to fix it was to take action.
“Now that my pulse has stopped racing, we can get back to the topic of me going with you to dinner with your family,” she said. They just finished picking two bushels of apples. She was carrying one and Merle was carrying the other. As they came closer to the front of the orchard and the checkout stand, they came across a couple of influencers—or maybe they were just teenagers—taking pictures of themselves pretending to pick apples.
Which made Liberty smile despite herself. Most people didn’t realize how many of the seasonal traditions they had were based in basic magic. That was probably why the traditions continued as long as they had. The meanings were still there, even if most people were unaware of them.
“Uh, are you sure you want to go?” he asked.
She stopped and put her bushel down. Her arms hurt because she wasn’t used to carrying that much weight around. Merle usually carried the heavy boxes for them at the store.
“Do you not want your parents to meet me?” she asked.
He set his bushel on the ground too, shaking his head. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“I told you, I’m usually a different person with them. What if I can’t turn that off after all? And you like this me. I don’t know if you—”
“Stop right now. You don’t have to be anyone but yourself. With me, with your parents, with the world. Why do you think you have to?”
He rubbed his hand over his jaw and gave her a chagrined look. “Habit mostly.”
“Maybe it’s time to break it. You act like the man before isn’t...what exactly? Good enough?”
“Uh, well my hair is too long. My clothes are too nerdy.”
She started to laugh but realized he was dead serious. She moved closer. “I already told you that I like your hair and your nerdy T-shirts with comic characters hardly anyone knows. But if you wore something different, you’d still be you underneath, wouldn’t you?”
The guy who could handle anything and was calm in every crisis was nervous. It floored her because their time together had helped her lean into her own weaknesses. She wanted to give some of that to him as well...
“Nerd,” she murmured softly, using the term as an endearment. “You are the one guy I count on. The only man I would trust with the name of my father. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of or hesitant about.”
“I’m not ashamed of who I am,” he said.
“Then what?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m afraid of being rejected by my family. Not very manly right?”
“Fuck that. Everyone is afraid of something. It’s not just women who get scared, and I’m not going to judge you for your fears when it took me months to tell my mom what I discovered with Nan. Don’t ever think it’s not okay to be afraid,” she said.
“Yes, ma’am. Or witch.”
“So what’s the worst that can happen? That’s what my mom always says.”
His brow furrowed and she knew he was running different scenarios through his head, taking her question literally. Dude liked to be prepared for any outcome.
“They could say they don’t want to see me again.”
“Okay. How would that be bad? You are torturing yourself into being what they want, and if they reject you, why would you want to be around them?” she said. “And before you answer that, I’m sorry. We all want our family to love us for who we are.”
“Yeah...that. That’s what it is.”
She had no solution for him. Not that Merle was looking for her to solve it. “I think, partially, that’s why I waited so long to talk to my mom. I knew I was rocking the relationship and the dynamic she and I have always had. We hate the sperm donor. And here I am trying to find out who he is. Maybe bring him into our lives. But I want to know. And Mom is going to have to come to terms with it.
“For you...if you truly are faking who you are with your mom and dad, then I think you should stop. They deserve the chance to see the man you are. And if they can’t see how special you are, that’s on them.”
“I really don’t deserve you,” he said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her.
She winked at him. “You’re right, you don’t.”
Liberty and Merle picked up their bushels of apples. The autumn breeze stirred around them, playing with her hair, and she tipped her head to see the sliver of the waning moon in the sky.
It was the moon cycle for both grounding and release—grounding her goals and beliefs and releasing what didn’t serve her. Two things that she’d been trying so hard to keep at bay. Finally, she felt ready to move forward. Her magic was back in balance with her spirit. Blessed be.