17. Clara #2
This girl was so brave. After all she had been through, she pushed through the darkness and had found a way to smile again. And through it all, Ryder was by her side, never once faltering. They were the ultimate couple.
I had no words to describe how proud I was of her, to see her coming through all that pain and fighting back when she could have shriveled up in a corner somewhere. So, instead, I slid my hand on her shoulder and gave a squeeze.
“I’ll wait over there until you’re done.”
“I’ve still got another hour of work to get all the detailing just right,” Jack informed me. “Maybe you want to come back—”
“No, it’s fine,” Ellie smiled. “I could use the break.”
“If you’re sure.”
She nodded, sitting up with Ryder’s help. I blushed, turning away as he slid his hand around the nape of her neck and brushed his lips over hers.
“So, what kind of piercing did you want?” Jack asked, walking over to the sink to wash his hands.
“A helix,” Lizzy said excitedly. “I think I’ll get one, too, if you have the time.”
“Sure. It doesn’t take long at all. Go ahead and take a seat.”
I did as he asked, but the fluttering in my belly turned into a swarm of bees buzzing around. I couldn’t remember getting my ears pierced. I was so young when I did it.
“Will it hurt?”
Grinning, he walked over with a rather large needle, antiseptic wipes, and a small stud. “Well, more than the lobes, but you’ll do fine.”
I sat nervously as he cleaned the area, marked my ear, had me check it, then prepared the needle.
“Deep breath in.”
I did as he said, wincing at the bite of pain.
“Deep breath out.”
Again, I did it. The pain lasted until he had the stud secured, and then it was a gentle throbbing. After cleaning me up, he handed me the mirror, showing me the stud. It wasn’t as sparkly and bright as I thought, but it was there.
A stud.
In my ear.
I was a total badass.
Well, as much of a badass as I could be as I neared sixty.
Giggling, I switched positions with Lizzy, watching as Jack went through all the same steps with Lizzy.
Honestly, it was a little icky to see it being done, seeing how much the ear actually bled.
But she handled it so much better than I did.
She didn’t seem fazed at all by the needle piercing her ear.
“That’s it,” Jack said, walking over to wash up.
“Thank you so much, Jack. I love it.”
He nodded, grabbing a few paper towels to dry off his hands.
Jack had never been a particularly jovial man, but since his girlfriend was killed, it seemed to knock all the life out of him.
Instead of smiles, we got vague nods. I didn’t know the man all that well, but now I wished I had actually taken the time to speak with him more often.
How lonely his life must be. His parents had died years ago, and all his relatives lived in other states. He was essentially all alone here, and as far as I knew, not many people really took the time to talk to him.
“So, how do I look?” I asked Lizzy after we paid and headed back to the car.
“You look hot!”
“Oh, stop,” I blushed, looking anywhere but at her. It was strange to hear my daughter talk about me like that.
“Momma,” she said, pulling me to a stop, forcing me to look at her. “I’m serious. You look good, and I’m not just saying that because you’re my mother.”
Sighing, I decided to be truthful with her. “I’m just not sure I feel like me.”
“Okay, I’m going to be brutally honest here, and I don’t want you to be upset.”
Nothing good ever came out of words like that.
“Momma, you’ve been dressing like an old lady as long as I can remember. You don’t do your hair because you’re always on the run, doing everything for everyone else, and it aged you. I was starting to think of you as an old grandmother instead of my mom.”
Okay, that was definitely brutally honest.
“For so long, you haven’t changed your style.
You’ve walked around scolding everyone for the way they talk, and you bake like it’s the only joy in your life.
And if you were happy with that, I wouldn’t say a thing.
But you’re not happy, and ever since you landed in the hospital, I’ve seen that sad look on your face, and I was hoping something would change.
Because you’re not eighty years old, despite what your previous wardrobe suggested.
You do have other joys in life besides baking, and I haven’t heard you correct anyone’s grammar in weeks! ”
I chuckled at that. “Well, I only yelled at you for swearing because you were growing up, and I didn’t want all the families in town to think we taught you to curse right out of the womb.”
“But we’re not kids anymore, and despite what Jeff says, none of us needs you to cook our meals for us. It’s time to live for yourself and stop worrying if your kids have everything they need. If we do, we’ll come to you.”
I didn’t like the idea of walking away from any of them, but she was right. I did need to step back.
“Then I have something to tell you.”
“Go for it.”
I took a deep breath, refusing to back down. “I am not your babysitter whenever you need me. I’m happy to help out, but if I come to the bar for a drink, it’s not so you can hand Willa off to me.”
A slight smile tilted her lips. “I can deal with that.”
“But I still want snuggles,” I hurried on. “I love Willa with all my heart. But I want to show up at the bar, and one day, possibly get drunk.”
“Momma!” she gasped.
“Well, do you know how long it’s been since I actually allowed myself to get good and wasted?”
“Probably never.”
She was right about that. Getting married at eighteen and a son quickly following, I wasn’t sure alcohol and I had ever had a good chance to be properly introduced.
“Well, we’ll fix that. Girls night tonight, and I won’t take no for an answer!”