Chapter 18 #2
Heaving a sigh, JJ tucked his free arm behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. “Do you remember a couple years ago when rumors went around about the band splitting up?”
Not the direction I expected his explanation to go, but okay. “Yeah, me and my friend Willow nearly had a meltdown.”
A ghost of a smile crossed his face, then faded. “Oliver and I weren’t exactly on great terms back then.”
“How come?” I asked. Stella had been touring with the Heartbreakers around that time. She’d given me a brief explanation of the situation—something about the boys arguing over which direction to take their music—but never went into detail.
“When we started the band, it was just for fun,” he explained. “Maybe Oliver and Xander had real dreams, but I was happy just making music with my friends. Then Alec found us, and we signed with Mongo. Suddenly everything changed.”
JJ paused, and I gave him a moment to gather his thoughts.
“At first, it felt unreal. Like we’d stepped into someone else’s life.
But that feeling didn’t last,” he said, a note of bitterness creeping into his voice.
“King Williams had a very specific vision for the band, and none of it was me. We changed our name, our sound. He even wanted us in matching outfits, but I put my foot down.”
I winced. “That must’ve been hard.”
“Our debut album only has two Infinity and Beyond songs on it,” he said quietly.
“Everything else was stuff King approved, and I went along with it because it was a record deal with the biggest label in the business. You want to know the worst part? It worked. The album went platinum faster than any other Mongo record.”
He laughed humorlessly. “I thought the success meant we’d earned some creative freedom, but King tightened the leash. We were his new cash cow, and he refused to interrupt the flow. At that point, I was over it. I wanted the four of us to fight for what mattered, you know?”
“And Oliver?” I asked gently.
“He adapted,” JJ said. “Started writing the kind of songs King preferred instead of what we loved. Looking back on it now, I don’t blame him. Fame messes with you, and Oliver doesn’t have much family. I think he was afraid of losing the one we found together.”
I sat quietly, turning JJ’s words over in my mind. His story wasn’t sitting well with me. On one hand, I loved the Heartbreakers’ music. Their first two albums carried me through the darkest moments of my life. But knowing it had cost JJ something hurt in a way I hadn’t expected.
“What does this have to do with Layla?” I asked, steering him back to my original question.
JJ didn’t answer right away. His body tensed, muscles shifting beneath my cheek as if he were bracing himself. “She’s the reason the rumors started in the first place.”
“What?” The word burst out of me. I pushed myself upright, sheets tangling around my waist as I turned to face him fully. “How?”
“Layla was one of the only people outside my family I felt safe talking to about band stuff, so I stayed friends with her after we broke up.” He swallowed. “We grew up together, I still had feelings for her, and I thought I could trust her.”
Unease pooled in my gut.
“I vented,” he continued. “About the fights with Oliver. About how trapped I felt. A week later, it was everywhere—tabloids, blogs, social media.”
My mouth opened and closed, then opened again. “She sold you out?”
He gave a single, solemn nod. “I think she thought that if the band split, she and I would get back together.”
“Wow,” I said, shaking my head. No wonder he hated her. “JJ, that’s—”
“It’s in the past,” he said automatically.
I studied his face, the tightness in his shoulders, the way his hand curled into the sheets. “Is it though?” I asked, because nothing about him looked past it.
Sighing wearily, JJ pushed himself into a sitting position and braced his elbows on his knees. “It was. Until I screwed everything up on New Year’s.”
“What happened?”
He hesitated, then said, “She tried to blackmail me into dating her again.”
“I’m sorry, what?” The more he told me, the more I wanted to track down Layla Baker and give her a piece of my mind.
JJ flinched like he hadn’t meant to share so much. “Never mind. It’s not a big—”
“Bullshit,” I cut in, sharper than I meant to. “Don’t minimize that. Tell me what happened.”
Something about my response must have landed, probably the profanity, because JJ’s shoulders slumped. “The night after we slept together, I told Layla it was a mistake, one that wouldn’t be happening again.”
“I bet she didn’t like that.”
A short, hollow laugh escaped him. “Not at all. Do you know about my aunt Jessica?”
The sudden subject change made me pause. I searched my memory but came up empty, so I shook my head. “I don’t think so?”
“She was my mom’s younger sister. She and Soph were really close. She died of an overdose when I was in junior high.”
It took a moment for the weight of what he’d said to register, but when it did, a familiar ache bloomed behind my ribs. I knew how quickly grief could carve itself into a person, changing them in ways that were impossible to undo.
“I’m so sorry,” I replied, because what else was there to say?
“It wrecked Soph,” he whispered. His gaze dropped to his hands, which were clasped together between his knees. “When the band signed with Mongo, she was terrified I’d fall into the same stuff. I promised her I wouldn’t.”
“And you kept your promise?”
“Of course,” he said. “I mean, sometimes I’ll smoke a joint after a show, but never anything hard. That’s not the point though.”
My throat tightened. The pieces were finally starting to slide together, and I hated the picture that was forming. “Layla knew about the promise, didn’t she?”
He nodded again. “That, and she found a bottle of my pain meds. Told me we had to get back together or she’d tell Soph I was using.”
That night at the stoplight party suddenly came back to me—I don’t give a shit what you tell Soph. She’s my sister. Do you really want to bet your friendship on this?
“Oh,” I breathed. “Oh my God.”
“It was an empty threat,” he added, words tumbling over each other. “Nothing ever came of it, so—”
“Stop,” I said, heat flooding my veins. “Are you seriously making excuses for her right now? What Layla did is so far from okay. It’s manipulative. It’s cruel. It’s—” I cut myself off, breathing hard. “Ugh, I can’t even think straight!”
JJ blinked, clearly startled. Then, to my complete disbelief, an immensely smug grin spread across his face. He reached out and tugged a loose strand of my hair. “I like this side of you.”
The sudden shift in his energy threw me for a loop, and I gaped at him. “What are you talking about?”
His grin stretched. “You’re all growly and protective. It’s cute.”
“This isn’t funny,” I shot back.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
I exhaled, dragging a hand through my hair. “You should tell your sister the truth.” He opened his mouth to argue, but I pushed on. “I know you’re scared of ruining their friendship, but JJ—Layla sounds like a snake. Soph deserves to know who she’s dealing with.”
“You’ve never met them,” he said as he twisted his Claddagh ring around his finger. “They’re inseparable. Layla’s awful to me, but she’s not like that with Soph. If my sister found out…” His voice faltered. “It would crush her. I can’t be the one who does that. I just can’t.”
The pleading look in his eyes begged me to understand. He wanted me to see his fear as protection, his silence as love, but I couldn’t. Not after hearing everything he’d just told me.
“You’re not responsible for other people’s actions, JJ,” I snapped. “Don’t you think Annasophia deserves to make her own decision about who she hangs out with?”
“Whoa, okay.” He lifted his hands, palms facing out. “I didn’t mean to upset you. What’s wrong?”
“You mean apart from your sister’s so-called friend trying to manipulate you into a relationship, and you—for some unfathomable reason—letting her get away with it?
” I paused, lips pressing together as something old and bitter stirred inside me.
“As someone with a sibling who’s made life-altering decisions for me without bothering to ask, I can tell you firsthand, it sucks. ”
Stella’s face flashed in my mind. She’d put her entire life on hold, deferring school and nearly abandoning her dreams, all because of me.
As if chemo, nausea, and hospital stays hadn’t been enough, I’d carried the weight of her sacrifice too.
I knew JJ’s situation was different, but if I were in Annasophia’s position, if the person I called my best friend was treating my brother like garbage behind my back, I’d want to know.
JJ considered this for a long moment. “If you really think I should tell her…” he said slowly.
“You can’t shield your sister from everything that might hurt her.” Because no matter how badly he wanted to, JJ wouldn’t always be there. And even if he was, that didn’t mean he could fix it all. “At some point, you need to let her protect herself.”
He nodded once, his face unreadable and stoic. I wondered if he realized I wasn’t just talking about him and Annasophia. It was a lesson Stella still hadn’t learned either.
“Fine,” he said at last, “but if I’m having a conversation with Soph, then you need to talk to Drew and Stella.”
I frowned. “Talk to them about what?”
“Us, obviously.”
My pulse jumped. “What about us?” I tried for casual, but my body had already shifted into high alert.
JJ tilted his head, studying me. “Are we really going to keep pretending there’s nothing going on between us? Because if you think our friends and family haven’t noticed, you’re delusional.”
“Trixy may have mentioned something to me after the Fourth.”
“Yeah, and Oliver gave me the world’s longest ‘don’t break her heart’ speech.” He harrumphed, clearly offended by the implication.
“Wait, what?” Drew, I could understand. But Oliver? “Why does he care?”
He shrugged, scratching at the stubble along his jaw. “Because he’s dating your sister?”