CHAPTER 12 #3
“Adamian has brought over a dozen men from America, Hilt thinks to do a raid, but he wasnae sure where. A house or a business, was the best he could gi’ us.”
“A raid? On us?” Rafe looked between us , his eyes darkening like he was already making plans, devising tactics, and working every angle to protect what was his.
“Most likely,” Arran nodded. “Adamian wants Cara.”
“He knows who she is then?”
“Yeah. Hilt heard that Isabella called the man himself and tried to sell Cara to him,” Arran laid out plainly, and I couldn’t help but flinch at those words.
There was no love lost between my Mum and I, that was for sure, but to try and sell me to a criminal?
All while I worked like hell to care for her in my own way.
“She’s gone now. You’ve got us,” Cal uttered so quietly I was sure only I had heard.
“Fucking bitch!” Rafe growled, slamming his hand down on the table so loud and hard it shook every dish and beverage on there.
“What does Adamian want with Cara now? Surely it’s been months since Isabella rang him with the truth?” Dio forged on.
I lowered my head against Cal, not wanting to look at Rafe and the stress I knew this was all causing him. He didn’t deserve any of this. He deserved a good, easy, stress free life, more than anyone.
“Short version – an heir to marry the man he wants to take over the family. Adamian has cancer. Terminal. I dinnae ken how long he’s got, but the only way to promote his protégé, who isnae a blood relative, is to have him marry Cara, who is blood.”
“That’s not happening,” Rafe snapped. “Tesorino, look at me,” he added, and I did, lifting my head to meet his eyes. “It is not happening. No one will take you from us ever again.”
“Damn right. We need to find out details on this raid. When and where,” Dio added.
“Hilt willnae help us anymore. I asked, but the guy said it’s too dangerous. As far as he’s concerned, he did his good deed,” Arran explained.
“Then we don’t give him a fucking choice!” Dio bit out with pure rage. When I looked to him his fists were clenched on the table top, his jaw set, his shoulders rigid. He was livid.
“No!” I argued. “Nothing happens to Hilt. He didn’t have to warn me, didn’t have to come look for me, but he did. He doesn’t know details anyway. He’d have given them to us if he did.”
“Cara…” Dio tried, but I cut him off fast.
“No! I mean it! Leave Hilt alone! Whatever or whoever he is, all he has ever done is try to help me! Without him training me to fight, I’d likely be dead by now.” I cried.
“Fine,” Rafe gave in. “Like you said, he probably told you all he knew anyway. He’s off limits, Dar.”
Dio nodded in acknowledgement, but he also looked pissed about it.
“I’ll need to dig into this. Speak to some of my contacts.
In the meantime we’ll need to step up security here.
From now on, you cannot leave this house, Gioia.
I know that’s a shitty thing to tell you, but until I get this cleared up, I need you safe.
We can do that here. Do you understand?” Rafe asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I’ll stay put, but I want to know what’s going on, Rafe. Don’t keep things from me, please.”
“I’ll keep you updated, sweetheart. You have my word.”
Everyone picked up cutlery and started to eat around me as the conversation seemed to come to its natural pause. There was nothing else to say right then. Rafe would give orders I was sure, to try and find out what he could, but not right then, and we had no other news to share on the topic.
“Ye’ve no’ eaten a bite, lass,” Arran gently reminded me as he looked to my still full plate, his own before him already empty.
“I’m not hungry.”
“It’s cold now anyway. Can you make her some tea with honey for her throat, and see if Terza has any of the lemon drizzle cake left over from yesterday? You never turn down sweet things, do you, beautiful?” Cal teased as he gave the arm around me a squeeze.
“I’ll no’ be long,” Arran promised as he gathered his and Cal’s empty plates, and my full one and headed into the kitchen.
“Are you not eating, Piccola?” Dio asked, and when I looked over he was watching us intently.
I shook my head, but looked away from his intense eyes quickly. I couldn’t stand his scrutiny when what I had to tell him and Rafe still hung unspoken.
“Her throat’s raw from getting upset earlier. Arran’s getting her some tea and cake,” Cal spoke for me.
Quiet descended again and Rafe and Dio ate their meals. No one was speaking, but I was kind of grateful for that. At least they weren’t asking me any questions either.
I spent the time with my head resting against Cal’s chest, my eyes closed and my hand still wrapped tightly around his wrist, trying to steady my emotions with the calming rhythm of his pulse against my finger.
When Arran came back with the tea and a thick slice of cake on a plate, he set it down before me, then grabbed a knife and cut the cake into fork sized cubes.
I knew I should have been embarrassed, but the truth was, I was more grateful for the care he was showing right then.
He and Cal were all that was stopping me from unravelling completely.
“Come on now, lass. Eat somethin’ for me. Yer worryin’ me,” Arran gently and quietly coaxed as Cal helped me sit up again, and Arran carefully placed a small cake fork in my still shaking hand.
I thanked him with a shaky smile then speared a piece of the cake, forcing myself to eat it. I’d have done anything to make Arran’s frown lines relax as he studied me closely.
“Good girl,” Cal whispered to me when I swallowed it and went to grab the next piece. And I hated to admit it, but that just made me push to eat more. That praise made me feel something other than fear and pain, even if just for a moment.
At the other side of the table Rafe and Dio had finished eating and were conspiratorially chatting quietly between themselves. I heard a few mentions of other families, mainly the Irish, so it was obvious they were already strategizing.
I forced down a few more bites of cake before my stomach started to churn and I had to call it a day. I knew it wasn’t enough, especially considering it was all I’d eaten all day but at least Arran looked slightly more relaxed when I picked up the mug of tea.
“We’ll have to get Terza doing some more baking around here, I think,” Cal said as I settled back against him with my hot cup clutched between my hands. They were shaking a little less for the time being.
“It’s a good start, lass,” Arran told me as he pushed the plate away from me, and leaned in closer across the table. “Are ye feeling up to telling them the rest?”
My heart skipped a beat in fear, then beat twice as hard as it had been before when I glanced to my brother, then back to Arran.
The answer was no. I wasn’t ready. What if Rafe was angry? What if he thought I was just like our mother? No matter what, he was going to be disappointed in me, maybe even ashamed, and that terrified me. I didn’t want to let him down, but I already had, and I knew I needed to face the music.
“Rafe?” My voice trembled as I looked over at him.
“Yes, sweetheart.”
“I….I…I n-need to tell you something, and it’s bad. I sh-shouldn’t have…but I…I was…I am a mess, and I…I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry,” I stuttered as I tried to find the words through my rapidly overflowing emotions.
Rafe was on his feet when I dared a glance at him through my tears. He pushed aside the chair at Cal’s side, the one I had briefly sat in, then knelt on the ground so he was eye to eye with me.
“Tell me, Gioia Mia. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out between us, alright? You can tell me anything,” he told me as he wrapped his hands around mine and the mug I held.
“Take some deeper breaths, gorgeous,” Cal prompted, and I forced a hiccupping breath in.
“I…I’ve been taking something. Some pills….dr-drugs,” the last word barely came out, broken by a desperate sob. “I…I’m so sorry.”
“Drugs?” Rafe repeated. He must have looked to Cal or Arran, because they filled in the blanks.
“We don’t know what they are exactly. She found the pills in the bathroom at the wake. One of Gia’s friends left them behind.”
“I’ve got what was left now. Cara gave them to me, an’ she knows it was a bad idea, but she told us that they helped to make her feel numb…made it all hurt a wee bit less,” Arran added.
“I…I’m n-not like her, Rafe. I swear. I just…I needed it to stop…I j-just needed some quiet,” I sniffled as I tried to compose myself.
“Of course you’re not. Don’t even go there, Cara.
You’re nothing like our mother,” Rafe told me flatly.
He moved his hands from over mine and took the cup from me, setting it on the table.
When I shakily looked at him, he wrapped his hands around my hips and pulled me down to his lap.
Then he just encircled his arms around me and held me tight.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re hurting and I haven’t done near enough to help you deal with that. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
“No…”
“Yes. I have done the shittiest job of protecting you since I got you back. I didn’t even notice you were walking around high, for God’s sake.”
“None of us did, Rafe. It was Hilt who pointed it out, or I might no’ have ever noticed,” Arran said.
“It’s n-not up to any of you to notice. I’m an adult. I keep m-making shitty decisions. It’s my fault. No one else’s,” I cried breathlessly.
“How worried do we need to be? Should I look into getting a recovery team in, to wean her off?” Dio asked with clear and blatant panic.
“No!” I gasped.
“I don’t know what the pills are. I have the doc coming in about thirty minutes to take bloods so we can check what’s been in her system, but whatever it is, I don’t think she’s used for long enough or taken enough for her to be hooked on anything,” Cal explained.
“Thank Christ for that,” Rafe uttered as he gripped me tighter.