Chapter 45 Hannah
HANNAH
My bed is so cold without another person to keep me warm. I should have let him stay. He texted me when he got home, and I said thanks. All I wanted to do was tell him to come back, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
I can’t sleep. My mind is whirring a million miles a minute. What if they didn’t get all the people working for Chaz, and they know we’re back in town? What if they hurt Thomas? What if they hurt me?
I haven’t needed to take my anxiety medication to sleep in over three weeks.
The realization surprises me, but I know that I only have Thomas to thank.
He’s the reason I was able to stop taking it without even knowing it.
If I want to get a wink of sleep tonight, I need it.
I get out of my cold bed and stride over to my suitcases.
I didn’t bother unpacking, I can do that tomorrow.
The only thing I did after Thomas left was take a quick shower to rinse off the day, and climb into bed.
It feels weird not having Arson around to let out one more time before bed, or have him lying at the foot of the bed as he waited for me to change into my jammies.
How could six weeks alter my life so permanently?
I dig in my bag, searching for my toiletries bag.
When I finally find it, I sag in relief against the wall.
I find the pill bottle in the bag, sighing when I see there are only two left.
I’ll need to get a refill. I never needed to use it as much as I have recently, but then again, my life has never been as out of sorts as it has in the last six weeks.
Taking a pill from the bottle, I stand and head to my bed. Tears prick at my eyelids as I take the medication. I could be sound asleep in Thomas’s arms right now, but no. I had to be stubborn.
I lie back down in my still cold bed and cry. I’m such a mess.
After a night of minimal to no sleep, even with my medication, I wake to a text from Thomas.
Thomas
Good morning, freckles. I missed you last night. What are you doing today?
I look through my phone, seeing the missed messages and calls from Julia. I hadn’t gone through it last night after I got it back, but I have a bunch of messages from her. It looks like she was messaging me the entire time we were gone, even though she knew I didn’t have my phone.
The most recent message was from her this morning.
Julia
I know you’re home.
Call me as soon as you wake up. I need to see you!
I sigh, going back to the message from Thomas.
Me
Not sure. I just woke up, but I’m pretty sure Julia and Tiff will break down my door if they don’t hear from me in the next hour. You?
His reply is instant.
Thomas
Josie and Andrew invited me over to meet the new baby. Would you like to join? They want to see you too.
Me
Oh, no. That’s okay. You spend time with your family today. I don’t want to intrude.
Thomas
You’re not intruding, freckles. They invited you. They want you there. I want you there, too.
Me
It’s okay, really. I’ll meet him another time.
Thomas
Okay. Can I see you later?
Me
I’m not sure.
Thomas
Hannah, please. Don’t pull away. I know that coming home is a hard transition for us both, but we can lean on each other.
Me
Okay.
Thomas
Thank you. I’ll come over after I’m done at Josie and Andrew’s. Are you sure you don’t want to come?
Me
I’m sure. Tell everyone I said hi.
Thomas
I will.
I close the message thread and tap a few times to call Julia. It rings maybe twice and then she’s answering.
“Oh my goodness, it took you long enough! Where are you? Are you at Thomas’s? Should I pick you up? Tiff and I want to have breakfast with you.”
“Jeepers, Julia. Calm down,” I say with a soft laugh. “I’m at my place.”
“Oh, did he drop you off on the way to work or something?” she questions.
“No, I stayed here. He dropped me off last night after we got home.”
The line is silent for a moment. “Oookay?” she says questioningly. “Alrighty then. Should I pick you up? Or do you want to meet at the diner? We have so much to talk about.”
“I can meet you at the diner in forty minutes. Does that work?”
“Yep. Tiff and I will pick up Grandma.”
“Great,” I reply. I’m surprised she doesn’t stay on the phone the whole time I get ready and drive over, but she hangs up after a few minutes.
While I get ready, I call my therapist, Kimberly’s office.
I definitely need to get in and see her sooner rather than later.
I swallow down the fear of making a phone call.
I hate making calls for appointments. Usually, I schedule online, but when I checked on the scheduling app, she’s booked out for three weeks, which is not ideal in this situation, but I remember her mentioning that she always has emergency slots open.
I figure I’ll leave a message with reception and see about getting an emergency appointment sometime in the next few days.
I’ve never needed an emergency appointment, so hopefully it’s not too hard to get one.
I had Julia give Kimberly an update when we left and I missed my scheduled appointment, so hopefully she’s aware of the situation.
The receptionist answers after a few rings. “Thank you for calling Ivy Ridge Health and Wellness, this is Laura, how can I help you?”
I shove down the anxiety brewing in my chest. “Hi, Laura. This is Hannah Pearson, one of Kimberly’s patients.”
“Oh, hi, Hannah!” she says happily.
“Hi,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I was out of town for a while, but um, I’m wondering if Kimberly has any urgent appointments this week? I—I kinda need one.”
“Let me take a look,” she mumbles. She asks for my date of birth and a minute later, she’s offering me an appointment this afternoon.
“I’ll take it,” I say without question. I need the appointment desperately.
“Great. We will see you at three,” Laura says, saying goodbye and ending the call after I thank her.
A weight lifts off my shoulders as soon as that is taken care of, and I finish getting ready to head to the diner to see my family.