Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
PAR-TAE!
I t was the strangest of situations. Jack found himself the accidental architect of a series of circumstances requiring so many layers of masterclass acting he was beginning to lose track. He had to convince the cast and crew that Zuri was there out of pity. But they also had to see enough of a spark to make sense of him keeping her around beyond the first elimination ceremony. At the same time, Thomas and Mick had to believe any spark they saw was pretended to maintain her cover. All the while, he had to convince Zuri the kiss between them meant exactly to him what it meant to her…without yet knowing what it meant to her. He wanted to ask, but a ninety-minute limo ride surrounded by a handful of oblivious crewmembers was not the place. Besides - first things first.
“Hey Tae, you know what I was thinking?”
“What?” Tae asked without looking away from the programme playing on the limo’s telly.
“I was thinking, when we get back, we have…a sleepover!”
“Okay.”
It wasn’t a permanent solution to keep Tae from blabbing to his dad, but at least it meant a stay of Jack’s execution. In the meantime, Jack would come up with a plan, a bribe, or an explanation good enough to save his life.
After shoring things up with Tae, Jack glanced up at Zuri. She sat with her arms folded, looking exactly opposite Jack’s direction, and in that moment, he realized - not only did he not know what their kiss meant to her, but he wasn’t even sure what it meant to him. Was it a meaningless moment of reactive rage and physical attraction? Or was it something more?
Back at the house, Jack told Thomas he’d take Tae for the night. Later, Mick approached Jack about adding a new dynamic to the show.
“Jack, I need your help.”
“Sure.”
“I need new footage. Day after day, it’s the same thing every meal. The girls sit, they eat, some bicker, and that’s it.”
“Annndddd you want me tooooooo…?”
“Eat with them tonight. I know I’ve just had you stay away from them outside of the challenges, dates, and eliminations, but if you surprised them, I think it would provide an interesting and much-needed dinner dynamic.”
“Honestly, Mick, it wouldn’t be a problem if it were any other night. But I just told Thomas I’d take Tae so he could lay down early with Talia.”
“Oh,” he said sadly.
Jack thought for a second and said, “But…maybe we could do something with this.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hello, ladies.”
“Hi, Mick,” they said.
“This is a pleasant surprise,” Naia added.
“I appreciate that, but it’s about to get much more pleasant.” Mick stepped aside just as Jack entered the dining room adorned in his finest tailcoat and trousers. The room erupted with cheers.
“Thank you,” he said as he spotted Zuri clapping yet avoiding eye contact.
“Needless to say, Mr. Adamson will be joining you for dinner tonight. But he’s not coming to dinner alone.”
Just then, Tae walked into the room, dawning regency attire. The room exploded in applause even louder than Jack’s ovation, and Jack couldn’t be happier. It even made Zuri smile.
“Mr. Adamson has brought with him a very special guest and asked that I let him explain.”
“Thank you, Mick. Ladies, this is one of the dearest people in the whole world to me. His name’s Tae. He’s my best mate’s son and some of the best family I’ve got. We’re kind of a package deal. To win my heart, you must win his, as well. So, I figured I’d bring him along to see how you all get along.”
The women all looked excited, though the excitement of some seemed more forced than others - particularly Chloe and Elena.
“Hello, Tae! Do you remember me?” Dani asked as Tae smiled and nodded. “I got to spend a few minutes with him yesterday on our date. He’s such a darling.”
After Dani, all the women took turns introducing themselves. But before Zuri’s turn, rather than risk Tae exposing her as his aunt, Jack stepped in.
“And that’s Connie, Zuri, and Chloe. I’m starving. What about you, pal?”
Tae nodded.
“Excellent,” Mick said before taking his exit. “All of you enjoy your meals…because afterward, we go to an immediate elimination ceremony right here in this dining room.”
The room’s elation dulled as stress began rearing its ugly head. Still, the girls put their best faces forward and tried to make conversation with Jack and Tae as they waited for their meals. When the food arrived, Jack sensed a large and familiar presence standing behind him. He looked over his shoulder and greeted the man from his past with a jovial grin.
“Chef Bartolomeo,” he said as he stood to give the estate’s chef an overdue hug. “You look great!”
“Hello, Jack, and thank you! I’ve lost forty pounds on my special diet.”
“Caramelized onions?”
“Yes! How did you know?”
“Just a hunch.”
“They’re an amazing substitution for sugary sweets as well as high caloric savory snacks.”
“Well, you better have snuck some into my dinner because your carmelized onions are legendary. What are we having?”
“Italian. To be more specific, whole grain spaghetti with a caramelized onion and goat cheese marinara sauce and a large bowl of caramelized onion brandy ice cream for dessert.”
“It sounds incredible.”
“It’s a nice change of pace. I’ve just been cooking simple regency-era dishes, but Mick said I could go a little bigger tonight on account of you eating with the women.”
“I can’t wait.”
With that, Chef Bartolomeo headed back to the kitchen, and Jack took his seat. Tae reminded him to put his napkin in his lap. Then, the feast began.
“So, Jack,” Chloe asked, “how was London?”
“It was…I don’t know. Tae, how would you describe it?”
“Good.”
“Good?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“What was your favorite part?”
Tae thought for a moment, and as he was thinking, Jack hoped he wasn’t about to spill the beans. He supposed it wouldn’t matter even if he did. The girls probably expected them to kiss on a romantic date to London. And even if Mick were combing through the footage in post and stumbled across Tae’s answer, he was pretty sure Mick wouldn’t say anything to Thomas. Either way, it didn’t matter. Jack’s fears were unfounded and ridiculous. What four-year-old’s favorite part of the Harry Potter tour would be waiting outside while two adults kiss?
After swallowing a forkful of noodles, Tae responded with an innocent laugh, “When Uncle Jack and Aunt Zuri kissed!”
Nevermind.
All chewing, swallowing, and talking stopped. Zuri’s face shot up in shock. Jack felt his eyes scan the room while his quick-thinking brain switched into overdrive…then stalled.
“Aunt Zuri?” Dani asked.
“Yeah…umm. It’s kind of a strange story. You see, we did share a small kiss today that Tae saw, and…umm…”
Zuri jumped in and said, “And…Tae’s dad, I guess, made a comment the other day when…when Tae asked about when he’d be allowed to start kissing girls. His dad said Tae could start kissing when he was married.”
“Right,” Jack said, “As a joke. But Tae thought he was serious, so Tae thought Zuri and I must already be married.”
“And since he’s Uncle Jack, Tae started calling me Aunt Zuri. Hahaha.”
But as Jack looked down at Tae’s little face, he could sense the lad was on the verge of shaking his head in disagreement with their fabricated rendition of events. Then, out of desperation, came revelation, and Jack knew precisely what must be done.
“Food fight!!!” he shouted as he grabbed a handful of noodles and chucked them across the room.
At first, the women seemed horrified - especially Lily, who got the worst of Jack’s saucy and distracting antics, but as the shock gave way to smiles, confetti spaghetti began flying in every direction. With Chloe standing at his left, Jack fell victim to extensive collateral damage, but it helped some that no one wanted to target little Tae to his right. It didn’t take long before Tae was in hysterics and tossing handfuls of ice cream at beautiful women.
A few moments in, revelation struck again. Jack acted like he was ducking down under the table to avoid any more friendly fire, but in reality, he saw it as a way to get Zuri out of sight and off camera long enough to ask her about their kiss. Jack crawled over to the pair of shoes next to Chloe’s and tugged on Zuri’s dress. Zuri - covered from the waist up in Italian edibles - bent down, looked under the table, and then joined Jack below.
“I need to talk to you,” he said.
“Here? Now? We’re kind of in the middle of som?—”
“It’ll just take a second.”
“Okay…”
“I need to ask you about…”
“Hey, you two,” Chloe said as she crowded in under the table, “you’re missing all the fun!”
Before he could respond, Zuri was back in the battle, and before he could join her on the surface, the shunning sirens sounded. Mick burst into the room like a disappointed father, and Maude the Shunner followed - spouting off her famous catchphrase. Though this time, Mick held her back.
“Don’t worry, Maude,” he said, “you shall have your moment. Every single one of these women has been found guilty of breaking the Regency Rules of Decorum Article 1 Section 1 - Above all else, one must carry herself as a lady at all times, in all places, and in all things. As such, all of these so-called ladies will be spending the night in the Shunning Place. That is…all except one. The woman who is eliminated will be going home instead - sort of a consolation prize despite her role in this inappropriate fiasco. With that said, I’m sure there are some of you thinking if you’re already going to the Shunning Place, you might as well kiss Mr. Adamson before you go. You may do so if you wish, but if you do, you will be spending the next two nights shunned. Do I make myself clear?”
At the conclusion of Mick’s stern lecture, he handed Jack the bowl of puzzle pieces.
“Sorry about that, Mick. I had a little hand in starting the food fight.”
“Good, sir!” Mick exclaimed. “You are a gentleman of the Regency Era and are therefore free to do whatever you please with no consequences!”
“That’s true,” Jack said. “I should expect better from them.”
The ladies seemed to know Jack was joking, but out of courtesy to Mick’s serious demeanor, they dared not laugh. Before giving Jack the floor, Mick grabbed the immunity puzzle piece from the bowl, walked across the room, and placed it in Zuri’s slimy hand. Jack removed the second piece, thought through his decision, and determined the best order for keeping morale high.
“Naia. Naia, I don’t think I saw anyone more thrilled to see little Tae walk through that door at dinner. Will you accept this piece of me?”
“Of course,” she said as a blob of spaghetti fell from her hair onto the floor.
The next three to get pieces were Connie, Lily, and Izumi.
“Wait,” Dani said after Izumi went back to the dining table and sat down. “I have a prize I’d like to claim.”
Jack had forgotten all about the freebie kiss Dani won at the morning challenge. She approached with seductive eyes. Normally, that look would have done a real number on Jack Adamson, but for some reason, he just felt uncomfortable. Maybe it was because Zuri was watching or because Dani looked like a crimson Swamp Thing all draped in spaghetti. Either way, something was different about their second kiss. That isn’t to say he didn’t enjoy it. It was just odd worrying about Zuri as a pasta-clad Dani kissed him.
Before she turned to sit back down at the table, Jack said, “Dani. Dani, you didn’t just impress Tae tonight. You also impressed me with how you interacted with him on our date. Especially since you didn’t even know that was something I was looking for. Will you accept this piece of me?”
“What do you think, Tae?” she asked.
Tae - as he so often did - shrugged his shoulders while she and Jack laughed.
“I will.”
With only one puzzle piece left, Mick stepped forward and said, “Chloe and Elena, this is it. One of you will be going home, and the other will be joining the rest of the women at the Shunning Place. Jack…”
Jack took the last puzzle piece, pretended the choice was difficult, and said, “Elena. Elena, as a single mom, I was kind of hoping to see more out of you. But…I saw enough. Elena, will you accept this piece of me?”
“Yes. And I’m sorry. Seeing Tae just reminded me how much I miss my kids.”
“I can’t even imagine, but I did wonder as much. And that’s why I ended up giving you the last piece.”
After Elena sat down, Jack said, “Chloe, I’m so sorry. I just felt like y?—”
“You know what? Save it,” she said as she stood up and stormed out of the dining room, mumbling incoherencies.
Jack pretended to be sad but felt nothing but relief at her departure. With little more than a scowl, Mick excused the unlucky winners into Maude’s custody, and once they cleared the room, he finally broke character.
“Jack, that was TV gold! How did you come up with that food fight idea?! And Tae, you’re a star, young man! A star!”
Mick went on and on, but all Jack heard were the spinning gears of his internal monologue, devising a plan to get Zuri alone.