20. nix
NIX
Take two!
Not quite the surprise I was aiming for last week, but I hope this date shows Abbi how much I still love her.
With Abbi’s hand in mine, we step over the threshold into Mr. and Mrs. B’s store.
Scanning the interior, I wouldn’t know what happened here last week if I hadn’t been part of it myself.
Everything looks as it should, easing my concern for the elderly pair.
Mr. B is behind the counter, and several pies line the surface next to him.
He’s busy serving a customer and hasn’t noticed us yet, giving us the opportunity to move further inside.
I watch Abbi taking in the store, and I’m sure she’s noticing that it’s the same as it was when we used to be frequent patrons here. “Why did we stop coming here?” she ponders aloud.
“I don’t know. I asked myself the same question when I stopped in last week to grab one of your favorite pies.” I shrug. “I guess life gets busy, and it’s kind of out of the way for us now.” Sadness washes over her expression. “But I think we can make the effort to stop by more often.”
Her dimples appear, and my heart soars. “I’d like that.”
I lean down to press a chaste kiss on her lips, wishing we were alone so I could deepen it. Instead of doing what I really want to do, I pull away, then bring her hand up and press another kiss to her fingers, keeping my eyes locked on hers. “Me too.”
“Nix! Abbi!” Mr. B booms from his position behind the counter.
Abbi’s grin is instant, revealing deep dimples as she turns in his direction. “Mr. B! It’s so great to see you. Are you and Mrs. B okay after the holdup?” she asks as she closes the gap between them.
He steps out from behind the counter, calling out to Mrs. B to come out front while he wraps my wife in a tight embrace. They sway side to side like old friends, wearing matching grins. Mrs. B waddles out, her curls bouncing as she does. Her eyes light up when they land on Abbi.
“Oh my goodness! Look who’s here.” Mrs. B wastes no time shoving her husband out of the way so she can hug Abbi. When they eventually separate, they study each other as if looking for the lost years. “My, look at how beautiful you are,” Mrs. B gushes, making Abbi blush.
While they fuss over each other, I shake hands with Mr. B. “How are you guys after last week?”
He shrugs nonchalantly. “Eh, same as always. Nothing we haven’t been through before.”
I glance around at the ceiling, the corners in particular. “Would you mind if I installed a security system for you? Sometimes having visible cameras can be a deterrent to would-be criminals.”
He waves off my suggestion with a flick of his wrist. “We can’t afford all that fancy stuff.”
I’m offended he’d think I’d charge him. I shake my head and narrow my eyes at him. “No charge, Mr. B.”
He shakes his head in the negative. “We couldn’t accept something like that.”
“I insist. Prue and I will be over during the week to set everything up.” I glance around again, making mental notes.
“It’ll be a good training opportunity for her.
” Pride explodes in my chest. “She’s joining my company.
Taking over the security installations to give me more time to manage the personal security side of the company. ”
His eyes twinkle as his lips spread wide. “I can see the pride you have for Prue in your eyes.”
I return his grin and draw in a deep breath. “I’m definitely a proud dad. Both of them are incredible adults.” I glance at Abbi. “Thanks to Abbi.”
“Both of you deserve the credit.”
I shake my head. “Abbi did most of the work. I was away for most of their formative years. I really can’t take any credit.”
“I’m sure you did your share when you were home,” he reminds me.
And I did. Whenever I was home between tours, I was fully engaged with my family. That only changed when I retired from the Rangers. I lay my hand flat and tilt it from side to side. “Maybe.”
“Well, I’ll look forward to seeing Prue when you come in.”
Abbi and Mrs. B join us at the counter with baked goods for our dinner date.
“I’ll just grab us some drinks.” I press a kiss to Abbi’s cheek and head to the back of the store, and my mind goes back to last week and the young woman. I wonder how she’s doing. If she’s safe.
I grab one of Abbi’s favorite candy bars on my way back to the counter, then drag out my wallet to pay, but Mr. B waves off my credit card as if it’s somehow offended him. “Your money’s no good here if you’re going to insist on installing a security system in our store.”
I shake my head. “You’re operating a business. You can’t just give food away for free.”
He chuckles softly. “As are you, my friend.”
“Touché.” I dip my chin in deference to the old man.
We say goodbye, and I grab the paper bag holding our dinner, then slide my hand into Abbi’s and guide her back out to our car. Abbi looks up at me with questions dancing in her eyes. Her eyebrows dip low as she squeezes my hand. “What’s this about installing security?”
“I hope that by installing some security measures, idiots like the guy last week will think twice about holding up their store. Sometimes it’s enough of a deterrent.” We arrive at my truck and I unlock Abbi’s door, helping her inside “It’ll also be a good training opportunity for Prue.”
She grins at me as she takes the bag of food, and I draw the seatbelt across her body. “You’re a sweetheart, Nixon Steele.” Leaning in, she kisses my cheek.
My stomach flips with her appreciation. She loves helping others and giving where she can to the community, and I guess she likes it when I do the same.
Noted.
I close her door and round the front of my truck with a smile etched on my face.
It’s moments like these I feel as though we’ll make it through.
That our marriage will survive my mistakes.
These moments give me hope that I won’t lose my wife.
Climbing inside, I start the car and restart the playlist I made for Abbi, then head in the direction of the tallest lookout in the city.
I want to take my wife on a trip down memory lane.
“I can’t wait to see where you’re taking me for dinner tonight. Any clues?”
I laugh. She’s always been terrible with surprises. “Nope.”
When I turn onto the road that can only go to one place, Abbi gasps, turning in her seat toward me. “Oh, Nix. I can’t remember the last time we came up here.”
I sigh. “It’s been a while.” I reach over and take her hand, then rest it on my thigh. Covering it with mine, I glance at her. “It used to be one of our favorite spots.”
Night hasn’t fallen yet, so I can see the dreamy expression on my wife’s gorgeous face. “Thank you,” she whispers huskily.
I laugh softly. “We haven’t had our date yet.”
“I know, but I love that you thought to bring me up here with my favorite pie and pastry the way we used to.” She smiles at me, and it’s everything. “It means a lot to me.”
I squeeze her fingers. “It means a lot to me, too.” She will never know how grateful I am that she’s giving me a second chance.
After everything, she’s still here. The least I can do is organize a simple date to show her how much I love and appreciate her.
I pull into a parking space and lean across to kiss her.
It would be so easy to get lost in her, stay here and kiss her until I get my fill, but I have plans tonight and I don’t want to get derailed.
Reluctantly, I pull away, and we share a smile. “C’mon, let’s check out the view.”
We climb out of the car and put on our warm coats, and Abbi wraps a scarf around her neck and tugs on a beanie.
She looks adorable. Abbi grabs our food, and I grab a blanket, picnic basket, and flashlight from the back.
Hand in hand, we make our way to our favorite spot and work together to set up our blanket and picnic.
Standing behind Abbi, with her back pressed against my chest and my arms wrapped around her, holding her close, we admire the city we love sprawled out around us.
“Gosh, it’s changed and grown so much over the years,” she breathes.
I drop my chin on her shoulder. “Yeah, everything does, I guess.”
“Don’t you think it’s strange how we don’t notice the changes as they happen?” she ponders.
I tighten my hold on her. “I’ve never really given it much thought.
But standing here with you, I can see the difference out there, and I can feel the difference in us.
It occurs so slowly that it’s impossible to notice while it’s happening.
” I exhale a long breath. “When I look back over the years, we’ve both changed and grown so much since we were teenagers coming up here to make out.
” I dip my head, nudging her scarf down to kiss the crook of her neck, eliciting a sigh from my wife. My everything.
“That’s true. We’re not the same people we were back then.
A lot’s happened over the years.” She turns in my arms and looks up at me, her hands around my back, cupping my shoulder blades.
A soft, wistful smile touches her lips, and I match it with one of my own.
“Do you think we’ve changed for the better or for the worse? ”
I break eye contact with her, looking out at the skyline that’s slowly transitioning from afternoon to evening.
“In some ways, we’ve definitely changed for the better.
” I drop my gaze back to hers. “In others, I think I’ve changed for the worse.
My time away caused a lot of damage, which has impacted you and us negatively.
” I sigh heavily. “I was so keen to become a Ranger and defend our country …” An ache builds in my chest, and I squeeze my eyes closed.
“Sometimes I regret it.” It’s tough to admit I made the wrong choices.
“Nix,” Abbi breathes. Her eyes trace over my face with nothing but compassion, and I know she’s going to say something to try to make me feel less of a failure.
I shake my head. “I don’t want to hear it. If I’d never joined the military, I wouldn’t carry the wounds that broke our marriage,” I grumble.
Abbi’s silent as she studies me, her lips tightening as if she’s trying to hold words back, but then I see her come to a decision.
“I disagree. You’ve always had this incredibly strong work ethic that was born from your family losing your father too soon, and your mom having to work herself to the bone to make ends meet.
That experience changed you on a fundamental level and started you on the pathway toward the man you are today.
” She presses her hand over my heart. “And while your experience in the military added a lot of emotional damage to your psyche, at your core you are a man who lives to protect and provide. You are who you are today because of all your life experiences. You shouldn’t wish them away or regret them.
” She presses the softest of kisses against my cheek.
“Even though I’ve felt hurt and neglected, I never lost my admiration for who you are as a person, or my respect for you as a man.
” The ache I was feeling before eases and I tighten my arms around her, eliminating the space between us.
“It would have been easier for me to walk away from you if you weren’t such a good and noble man,” she murmurs.
I close my eyes against the onslaught of emotions and bury my face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her warmth and familiarity, grounding myself in her presence.
It’s unbelievable to me that she sees anything good in me after all these years.
Her hands rub soothingly up and down my back, mending my broken pieces and slowly putting me back together.
I don’t deserve her.
I never have.
But I’m too selfish to let her go.