Chapter Ten
“ F orgive me for giving you such terrible advice, my lady.”
Eadaoin accompanied me on another stroll through the village. One of the traders in the market said they’d show me the inside of their greenhouse. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say I’d never been more excited.
“Terrible advice? What do you mean?”
Her shoulders slumped. Eadaoin was a mask of misery. “I told you to make our lord jealous. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have embarrassed yourself by clumsily flirting with Fintan, then getting him thrown out of a window.”
“Clumsily? I wouldn’t say that—”
“He told me everything, my lady. I almost hid my face out of shame for you.”
And to think, I was having such a pleasant morning. “Is he going to be okay?”
“He’ll recover... in several months.”
“Full recovery?” my guilt asked hopefully.
“I didn’t say that.”
I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “I can’t apologize enough. I should’ve known Alisdair would not take kindly to my giving attention to another man—whether I touched him or not.”
“No, it’s my fault. I didn’t realize you were completely new to the ways of love, sex, and seduction. I mean...” She waved a hand over me. “Look at you. How could so beautiful a woman be so na?ve.”
“You’re cramming a lot of insults into this apology,” I gritted, then sighed. “But it’s true. I don’t know what I’m doing. I actually already planned to use this walk to ask you for help. How do I do this, Eadaoin? How do I get him to open up and allow himself to feel for me, while keeping my own heart out of it?”
“Is your heart in it?”
“No.” I didn’t hesitate. “It can’t be.”
“All right, I understand,” she said easily, surprising me. “I do have another idea for you. One that will not get anyone else thrown out of a window. Today, you’ll finish lunch early and then I’m taking you somewhere. Somewhere you’ll learn all about the ways of seduction.”
Several hours later, I was standing in an impossible place.
“It’s... It’s hot...” I got out, then my voice failed me.
“Mhh hhh.” Eadaoin peeled off her shawl and coat. “It’s the only room in the castle that is, because it’s right on top of an overground hot spring.”
“Hot spring.” Palm fronds tickled my cheek, the first to welcome me when I stepped through the door. My gaze darted everywhere at once, trying to take it all in. Palms, lilies, violets, orchids, birds of paradise, and the stunning, painted faeriken stretched out among them—basking in an eden of summer and flowers. “That explains it.”
I stepped down into a sunken living room and all eyes turned to me. The room wasn’t unlike my bathroom with its chaises and marble. The only thing it was missing was the bathing pool. My bathing chamber also didn’t have a dozen faeriken women who were so gorgeous, their duck, fox, leopard, and bird faces did nothing to diminish it.
“Welcome, my queen.” Eadaoin swept out her hand, beaming. “It is my pleasure to introduce you to the royal companions.”
“Royal companions?” I repeated. “Royal as in—”
“Our lord’s companions,” finished a white fox faeriken. She was draped across a chaise and basking under the shade of a potted palm tree. She laughed. “You needn’t make that face. He hasn’t laid a finger on us since he brought you to the castle. We’re all quite bored as a result.” She shuddered. “The orgies used to go on for days.”
I hadn’t realized I made a face until I relaxed at her assurance Alisdair wasn’t cheating on me, then scowled again full force at orgies.
“Why have you brought me here?” I snapped at Eadaoin. Emiana’s lips parted, and her true voice came out. “Explain yourself.”
She patted my hand. My lip curled at the servant for daring to touch me. “You said you wanted to learn how to tempt our lord without falling in love with him.” She flicked from companion to companion. “Who else to ask but the experts?”
Understanding dawned, and chased away the ghost of Emiana. “Eadaoin, you’re a genius.”
She grinned, whiskers twitching. “Ladies,” she called, clapping. “Work your magic.”
Eadaoin trumpeted the horn for war, and they descended on me. Six pair of hands led me around the indoor garden to a standing mirror.
“First, we have to get rid of these clothes.” She tore my dress off faster than Alisdair did. “Honestly, Lady Ana, Aeris terrifies me too, but you are allowed to choose your own wardrobe.”
I would’ve responded if my jaw wasn’t firmly clamped in the hand of the fox girl. She wiped off my subtle lip stain, and replaced it with a deep, plumish purple that I never would’ve had the bravery to try even if I was born a princess.
My elegant gown was torn to shreds. In its place, they covered my body with a forest-green gown that was tighter and thinner with a neckline plunging to my belly button. My nails were painted. My braids were unwound, leaving my hair falling in soft waves around my shoulders, and then, the lesson started.
“No, no, no,” cried Honora, the fox woman. “You have to drop your hip, then roll. Drop, then roll, and twist.” She demonstrated—wining her body in a slow, sultry dance that made me blush to see.
“Um, I don’t think my body was meant to move that way.” No, I knew I wasn’t. Both my and Emiana’s memories confirmed, neither of us knew how to dance. “Is there possible a beginner’s seduction dance?”
Honora laughed. “You are adorable, Lady Ana. I’m so glad nothing they said about you is true.”
I was afraid to ask what they said.
“Now, don’t overthink.” She grasped my hips. “Loosen up. Move with me.” Honora worked my hips like a puppet while the others conjured instruments and played a tune.
“Alisdair likes this?” I asked, finding my rhythm. I twisted, wined, and twirled, beginning to join in on the laughs and smiles.
“Oh, yes.” Honora shared a grin with the other companions. “He loves it.”
I nodded, steeling myself. “Well then, teach me everything you know.”
THAT NIGHT, I WASTED another head start and waited for Alisdair in our bedroom.
He stalked inside slow and cautiously as usual, searching for a trap, and found me perched on the end of the mattress—draped in a thin, silk robe.
I strained to keep the sultry smile on my face while my teeth chattered. “Good evening, husband. Make yourself comfortable.” I patted the sheets. “Tonight, seduction is—”
“No,” he sliced in. “I’m not enduring another one of your mad episodes. Get on your knees.”
I clenched my teeth tight, penning in a vicious reply. Insults were hardly in line with the romantic atmosphere I was attempting to create. “If you had let me finish, you would’ve heard me say that seduction is my honor tonight. Just sit back and relax, Alisdair, while I tempt you.”
“Is that so?” His brow climbed higher than the corner of his mouth. “You mean to seduce me? Before or after you run screeching from the room?”
You can’t kill him. You can’t kill him. You literally can’t kill him. “Before,” I returned, holding on to my smile. “Now, are you going to lie down, or would you prefer to talk yourself out of a treat?”
“I’ll never deny a treat from you, little bird.” Slowly, he peeled off his clothes and climbed into bed.
My heart thundered as he reclined against the headboard, draping his arm over the pillows. He gestured for me to proceed, and my lips tightened. Only Shadowsoul could make a finger flick sarcastic.
Shaking my head, I refocused on my goal. The only way home is to make this beast give his love and heart to me. I do this for my freedom, so I cannot fail.
I cleared my throat. “Tonight, I tempt and seduce you, my husband, with...” I let my robe fall to the floor. “...a dance.”
The tight, see-through, lace shift dress revealed itself in all its glory, so did a bulge rising from the middle of the bed, and his legs.
I hid a grin. I’d never tell a soul, let alone myself, how much it thrilled me that I had such an effect on a cold and terrible man.
Slowly, I lifted my arms—holding them out to my sides as if ready to receive my lover—and began to dance.
Drop, turn, twist. I wined and gyrated my hips, dancing like a snake under a charm. Slowly I spun, gifting him a view of every naked inch of me. If only I had skipped getting men thrown out of windows, and went straight to the companions. No one could stand strong against this dance. I fell half in lust with Honora while she taught me.
Eat your shriveled, removed heart out, Alisdair. I bent at the waist, shaking my ass for his benefit. Two can play at the game of love and lust. You’re mine. Your love will be mine—
A noise sounded behind me, snapping me up and twisting me around.
Alisdair clamped hard on his mouth, but he couldn’t keep it in. Dam breaking, Shadowsoul burst out laughing.
Loud, bed-shaking, eye-watering, chest-wracking guffaws split his sides and threw his head back. He howled so hard and loud, he couldn’t breathe.
Humiliation flooded my body and cheeks, lighting my face on fire. “You bastard!” Whipping around, I lit on the nearest weapon, and flung it at his head.
SOFT, TSKING, GROWLY chuckles sounded a continuous chorus—as did my grinding teeth.
Alisdair and I found ourselves in the newly remolded throne room the next morning. I wore a fixed glare, and he sported a large, purpling bruise on his forehead, courtesy of the candelabra.
A line of peasants beheld their cold, evil king with wide eyes. The man before them was bruised, relaxed, and laughing his ass off.
“My lord?” Aeris stood two paces back, as if wary of getting too close. “You’re in a good mood today.”
“I am indeed,” he crowed, shooting me a grin. My balled fist ached to punch it in. “I was treated to a show last night—best I’ve seen in ages. Would you all like to see it too?”
I stiffened as murmurs and yeses went around the room.
Alisdair turned that blinding smile on me. “My queen, would you do us the honor of treating us all to a dance? It’ll surely brighten the day ahead.”
I glared at him through the narrowed slits that were my eyes. “No, thank you,” I gritted. “I’d much rather show them my candelabra-throwing skills. I’ve gotten quite good at it. I beat the target to death every time.”
Alisdair laughed out loud, as always, unconcerned by my threats.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Frowning, I twisted in my seat. What is that? It sounded like a heartbeat, but how could it be? How could it be Shadowsoul’s? I’d believe he’d hide his heart behind a magical wall in his castle, but he wouldn’t put it back in his rotted chest, or cart it around the throne room. Was I imagining things, or...?
I pressed the heel of my palm to my thrumming heart. Was this about my curse, and not his?
“You seek permission to divorce?” Alisdair repeated, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Must it come to that? Why not tempt your wife with a dance of seduction? Works every time.”
I hated him.
By some Meya-blessed miracle, I made it through court without killing him. The minute I was released, I took off in the opposite direction of the war room, gritting my teeth against the searing pain lancing my ankle off at the bone.
“Fox Boy? Fox Boy?” I limped through the dungeons of the east wing, knowing behind one of the doors was a siren. Who knew what other secrets these doors concealed? “Is there a little fox boy down here? Come out or call to me. I won’t hurt you. I want to get you out of here.”
I screamed up and down the dungeon, then hobbled upstairs to scream through the servants’ quarters. Yes, screamed. The growing pain in my leg wouldn’t let me do anything else, but I didn’t care. I was finding the boy and we were getting the fuck out of this place. Alisdair would never love me. The beast was incapable of love! Let him rot in this frozen wasteland, cursing the little bird who flew away.
“Fox B—”
“Lady Ana?” Aeris appeared at the end of the hallway. “What are you doing? You must be in agony! You need to return to my lord’s side at once.”
“Fuck him!”
She tutted, giving me a knowing look. “Here, let me help you.”
I was in too much pain to stop her putting my arm around her shoulder and leading me off.
“What’s happened, Lady Ana? Have you given up making our lord fall in love with you already?”
I’d have thrown her a shocked look if I was capable of doing anything but grimace in agony. “How... did you know?”
“I know everything,” she replied without irony. “What I don’t know is why you went to Eadaoin or that fool Bradach for advice before you came to me?”
“Because Eadaoin is trained in seduction and Bradach is successfully seducing you.” Pain addled my mind too much for subtlety.
Shockingly, Aeris laughed. “It does look that way, doesn’t it? Like the closed and hard-hearted Aeris is being swept along by the roguish flying man.” She laughed harder, popping my brow. “What you couldn’t have known, my queen, is that Bradach is an incorrigible bed-hopper. He’s had his way with every woman in the castle, and only set his eyes on me because I was last on the list.
“Bradach is...” Her expression softened. “Smart, sweet, brave, and funny. But I did not know any of these things until I forced him to see that none of his tricks would work on me. If he wanted sex, he could get that anywhere. But if he wants something real, he has to open up, show me the true him, be vulnerable.
“Ana.” She wiped a stray tear from my cheek. “Dances, face paints, and insincere puffery was never going to work. To love is to be vulnerable. It’s to give your soul to someone knowing you’ll never get it back, and that’s okay, because your soul will live happier entwined with theirs than it ever did alone and yearning within you.”
“But... how do I do that?” I croaked. “How do I get Alisdair to open up to me?”
“That is not for me to say, my lady, but I wonder, do you know anything about the real Alisdair Lumenfell? Where he’s from? How he began? What he likes? What he curses? What he wishes for? Do you know any of these things?” Aeris deposited me in front of the war room. “Have you even asked?”
I stared down the hallway she disappeared around long after she left.
I STUDIED ALISDAIR out of the corner of my eye. He said nothing of my late arrival when I walked into the war room. He merely dismissed Foalan, then pointed to the table next to him.
I went over and found a list of runes, their translations, and tracing paper for me to write them. I got on with the work without a word.
“What?” Alisdair asked, making me jump. “If you have a question, ask it.”
I have a great many questions, but is it truly as simple as asking them? Is that all I have to do to get you to open yourself to me?
“How do you do it?” I asked instead. “Hold back the curse. None of the other faeriken do.”
“Because they can’t. It takes more strength, magic, and concentration than even the strongest among my people possess.”
“Why do you do it? Surely you don’t have to. None of your people would judge you,” I said. “Or is it vanity?”
“Do you think me handsome enough for vanity?”
The question quickened my pulse, because the immediate and only answer was yes.
“And that is why,” he continued, looking up to meet my eye. “I do it for you.”
I blinked, mind slowing down trying to process that. “Me? You use all your magic and strength to appear fae for me? Why?”
“Because I promised you that first day in the carriage that I would have you every night, four times a night,” he replied, tone matter-of-fact. “The least I could do was not put you through the indignity of being mounted by a hideous beast.”
My lips parted but nothing came out. Of all the reasons I considered for why Alisdair had to remain his coldly handsome self, that he was being considerate of me never made the list.
I asked something true about him, and this is what he tells me. He had to prove there was decency somewhere in his empty chest. Decency to make my own chest thump harder and faster.
“What are you working on?” I sharply changed the subject. “Your plans for the conquer of Elva?”
“I could be working on nothing else,” he replied, without looking up from the map. “There’s nothing more pressing.”
I sat up straighter. “We said we’d make a plan of attack together.”
“I welcome your opinion at any time, my queen.”
My brows furrowed, but I didn’t sense any mocking or sarcasm. “Well, if that’s true, I do have an idea, but there’s something I need to know first.”
“Such as?”
“You have spies in Lyrica, yes? And the other kingdoms too?”
“Yes,” he replied easily.
“For them to be effective spies, they can’t have undergone the change. How did you recruit them if they’re not from Wind and Wild? I’ve seen the babies and children here. The curse takes them young.”
“Most are enemies of your kings.” Alisdair crossed something out on his parchment. “They offer their services to the enemy of their enemy in exchange for equal compensation.”
“Paid informants.” I nodded, turning that over in my head. “But are any of them Lumenfellians? As in loyal to you and the kingdom?”
“Some.”
“Among those some, are any of them women? Unbound women,” I clarified.
“Fewer still.” Alisdair gave me his back, crossing to the bookshelf. “Even if their magic isn’t bound, they have to spend every day pretending it is. If they’re discovered, they’re forcibly bound, then imprisoned. It’s the choice between living free as a beast, or a secret in the shadows.”
Sighing, I deflated—flopping back in my chair. “Yeah, you’re right. It wasn’t a very good idea. I was thinking why go through the horror of slaughtering every man in Elva, when we could simply embed unchanged Lumenfell women in key places in the kingdoms, waiting for the perfect time to strike. But if—”
“Stop,” he sliced, making me jump. Alisdair spun and advanced on me so fast, I backed up against the wall. “Say that again.”
I blinked owlishly at him. “I... I said there’s no need for mass slaughter if we could surround our enemies with silent, innocent-looking assassins. No one would ever suspect a woman.” I scoffed. “Especially not a woman who still wields magic. They believe they ended that threat hundreds of years ago.”
I shrunk under his intense stare. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? If you think it’s a bad idea, just say so. I’ve had enough of your teasing for one day—”
“That’s brilliant,” he breathed. “Genius.”
What did he say?
“Fuck’s sake, why didn’t I think of that?” Alisdair crossed to the door and stuck his head out. “Foalan, get in here!
“Continue, Princess,” he said, turning back to me.
“You’re serious? You really think it’s a good idea?”
“I think words that I once said sarcastically were in actuality the truest thing I’ve ever said, or has ever been said,” Alisdair replied, tone serious. “Everyone in your life who dared underestimate you is a damn fool. Including me.”
Alisdair took my hand, drawing me away from my rune practice to the maps he was poring over. “Where?” He pierced the parchment tapping the map with his claws. “Where would you embed our assassins?”
I heard him say our , but the issue was, I heard myself say our too. I didn’t want war. I was sick to death of the pain and sorrow war had brought to Elva for longer than anyone’s living memory could recall. But what I did want... was to keep my promise to my faywens.
I told Meliora and Gisela they would grow to be anything they wanted to be. I swore to Mama I wouldn’t stop searching for a cure to ease her suffering, and give our mother back to us. I told my sweet, dreamy Jaclan that no one would ever steal his fanciful dreams, and shove a soldier’s armor in their place.
Maybe it was the curse secretly working on me, turning me into the most animalistic version of myself. Maybe it was merely Alisdair’s bad influence. But he was right. One could shout all the live long day that they don’t want war, but if they want things that only war will achieve, what’s the fucking difference?
If asking nicely could’ve ended the forced bindings and death sentences placed on women, we wouldn’t still be here centuries later with pleas on our lips.
Power isn’t given. It’s wrested away from cold, dead fingers, and when again in my life would I have a great and terrible man willing to wrest away said power... and give it to me.
“The Crystal Palace,” I said, signing the seal of treason. “My father has an army of female servants, because of course changing sheets and scrubbing toilets is lowly work only fit for women. He even has two perch over his bed at night, fanning and keeping him cool while he snores away,” I said. “They wouldn’t need magic to slit his sleeping throat, but magic would certainly help them slip away without a trace.”
Alisdair leaned over me, enveloping me in that heady scent of jasmine and pine. “And you would be okay with this? Ordering the death of your father?”
“I hate that man.” Emiana’s truth fell from her lips, fired by the hatred etched into her bones. “Why shouldn’t I order his death? He ordered mine when he had me bound. He ordered it again when he sold me to a man who had every intention of killing me.” I gave him a wry grin. Alisdair grinned back. “That man never showed an ounce of loyalty or care for me. Even less for the women of Lyrica. They suffer while he grows fat and rich, gorging himself on sex and looted coin.”
I scoffed, lips curling. “Let him die. I’ll stand on his corpse to sit upon a throne that was never his and always mine, and rise higher than a son of his ever could. He’ll burn for the rest of eternity, wishing he hadn’t underestimated the princess of Lyrica— No...” I smirked. “The queen of Wind and Wild.”
“You are magnificent,” Alisdair gruffed, heat pouring off him and setting my skin ablaze. “I would have you right here.”
I laughed. “Huh, so that’s all it takes to seduce you.”
I don’t know who moved first—him or me—but in a flash, we were tearing at each other, ripping off any piece of clothing we got our hands on.
Alisdair threw everything off the table and tossed me on, pouncing on me before I caught my breath. We mauled each other for hours—interrupted only by Foalan walking in, taking one look, and walking back out.
As Alisdair pressed my head to the table, pumping my ravaged hole from behind, I accepted that Aeris was right about everything.
I kept trying to make Alisdair fall in love with me through sex and lust, but that was never where he held back. His desire for me was obvious from that very first day in the carriage, and if that was enough to make him give his heart, I would already have it.
No. Somehow, I had to get through to the man who had told me nothing real or true about him since we met. I had to get him to open up to me. I had to make Alisdair Shadowsoul, the most feared man in Evla, vulnerable.
“WHAT ABOUT RAJADOM’S councilor?”
I reclined on my litter, snuggled under blankets and a raised roof on the snowy, bleak day. I demanded they added the roof when Alisdair announced we had to make a trip to a neighboring village, to speak to the person who’d help us find the right assassins for our plan.
“Why they can’t come to us, I have no idea,” I snapped at Alisdair. “We are their sovereigns. It’s offensive that I should be out in this cold, trekking miles to meet with a peasant.” I flicked the head of the servant carrying me. “Drink!”
Obediently they raised the tray holding my warm, spiced cider. I took a sip and hummed, getting comfortable against my pillows. I’d say something for the beasts, they knew how to treat their betters—
Stop it! my true voice blared. Get out of my head, you monster!
I tossed my head, coming out of the fog. It was getting harder and harder to know what was her and what was me, but those horrid thoughts—that could only be her.
“Excuse me,” I rasped, clutching my head. “That was rude. Thank you for the cider, Mavendale, and thank you all for carrying me. You can put me down now. My feet work just fine.”
“Are you sure, Lady Ana?” Eadaoin asked. “We don’t mind.”
“I’m sure.” My voice was firm. “I’ll walk.”
Even though nothing but Alisdair declaring his love for the true me could break the curse, it was clear that indulging the things Emiana would do made it harder for me to remember where she ended and I began. I had to cling to me. Behave as I would behave. Do what only I would do.
Remember the ones I love.
“Sorry, Foalan. What were you saying?”
“Rajadom,” he prompted, falling in step with me and Alisdair.
Obviously, we weren’t announcing our military strategy out in the open, but there was no harm in discussing what I knew about the other kingdoms and their rulers. And Emiana knew quite a lot.
More proof Salman was a fool to dismiss the silent, watching listener sitting in the background during all of their royal summits and discussions. He handed her everything she needed to bring about his downfall, and it was clear from her memories, King Salman’s downfall was what she wanted most. She probably would’ve summoned the courage to assassinate him herself one day, if he hadn’t sold her off to the kingdom of Wind and Wild.
“Chancellor Mahoun is difficult,” I said. “Paranoid. Untrusting. The times he visited my father in Lyrica, he’d only eat food prepared by his own servants, and would let no one but them wait on him. He also prefers men. Male lovers. Male servants. Male advisors. And only the comeliest. He has a wife, but after securing the line with four sons, she took up residence in the winter palace and they live separate lives.”
I didn’t say more, since Foalan was wise enough to draw his own conclusions on how difficult that would make it to get a woman close to him.
“Is there a way?” Foalan asked simply.
I opened my mouth to say I didn’t know, then the answer came to me—easily supplied by Emiana’s memories. “Guilt,” I blurted. “He is a staunch and devoted worshipper of Mother Meya, and deep down, he believes the All Mother will punish all of Elva for what we’ve done to her daughters.
“That hasn’t stopped him,” I spat, “or prompted him to repeal a single unfair law, but he does visit the temple morning and night, praying for forgiveness.”
“The high priestesses,” Alisdair and Foalan said at once.
I nodded. The temple priestesses were bound like every woman in Elva, but the one advantage they had was that they still commanded respect. Everyone bowed in their presence and heeded their word. They lived safe and pampered lives in the temples of Meya scattered about the nation.
The only time Emiana had ever seen Salman give a woman respect was when he bowed, waited his turn to speak, and kissed the feet of a temple priestess.
“Sarabai?” Foalan asked.
Again I opened my mouth to say I wasn’t sure. Again, Emiana’s memories interrupted to give me the answer. What irony that, in a real way, she was bringing about the downfall of her hated father.
I replied to Foalan, then cut a look to Alisdair striding on my other side. “So, Alisdair,” I began. “What was your mother like? Tell me about her.”
“No.”
The reply was so swift and curt, I tripped over my feet. The bastard didn’t even take a moment to think about it.
“Why not?” I barked, a little of Emiana’s patented pampered outrage bleeding in. “I’m your wife. You’re my husband. We should get to know each other.”
He said nothing. Didn’t so much as tip his head to look at me.
Irritation swelled up in my chest.
“Alright,” I forced through clenched teeth. “What about fair play? Every question you answer, I’ll answer too. Tell me about your mother and I’ll tell you about mine.”
“You are near perfection, my queen,” he said, surprising me with the compliment. “Your only flaw is you continue to bargain with worthless coin. It isn’t possible for me to care less about your mother.”
My fist went flying, heading straight for that bastard’s hard jaw.
Alisdair ducked me, laughing cruelly. I blinked and he was on Foalan’s other side.
“Beast,” I bellowed. “You make everything difficult!”
Eadaoin shook her head out of the corner of my eye. I knew what she was thinking because I was too. Making this dead-inside monster fall in love with me was not going well.
Eventually, we arrived in Bevin—another small township of Lumenfell proper. Bevin was similar to Lumenfell’s main village in that the warm, deep-brown cottage homes and attached greenhouses were shared by both, but that’s where the similarities ended.
No one passed us on the street, and while Bevin also had orblights, theirs were smaller. Dimmer. Casting barely a glow to beat back the shadows. I squinted, gazing around—searching for the whiskered couples walking hand in hand, the bustling square, or giggling children skating around the fountain.
Nothing.
The only signs of life were the lights trickling through the breaks in drawn curtains.
Alisdair took me on a tour of a few of the surrounding villages. I was beginning to see why he left this one out.
“Is everything okay?” I whispered to Alisdair. “Why is it so dark and quiet? We’re not in wolf territory again, are we?”
“Opossum faeriken.” Alisdair always answered my questions, unless they were about him. “A mix of solitary and nocturnal results in this. Everyone keeps to themselves.”
I swallowed the rest of my questions, although I was dying to ask how a solitary fae-beast living in a dark corner of Wind and Wild was supposed to help us.
Twenty minutes later, I was sitting at a kitchen table, clamping my mouth shut to keep in ever more questions.
A woman with round, beady eyes; a long, furry nose; and thin, spindly, almost-rat-like hands bustled about the small cottage, but it wasn’t her appearance that drew my wide eyes. Well, in a way it was, since her accessories were a sight I’d never seen before.
No less than six infants hung in slings on her person. Four sleeping on her back, and two babies in front freely nursing. It suddenly made sense why Alisdair had us go to her. Not even he was cruel enough to make a mother trek miles through a dark, frozen forest with six babies hanging off her shoulders.
Despite the dark and gloomy outside, inside the cottage was warm and inviting. A crackling fireplace dispelled the chill from my bones—prompting me to shed my coat. Paintings of rolling meadows, sunny skies, and crashing waves covered every wall, showing her babies the world beyond Wind and Wild.
“Well, don’t stand on ceremony,” she said, beaming brightly. Treasa was tall, thin, and flitted around on the balls of her toes as if she was a dancer in another life. “No need for formality here. Get comfortable, my lord, my lady. I’ll start the tea.”
“Please, ma’am, let me.” Foalan guided her to a seat by the fireplace and took charge of the tea.
Alisdair and I joined her at a slower pace. It was only the four of us—actually, ten of us in the cottage. Obviously, we didn’t need everyone knowing our plans.
“There are no cribs,” I murmured quietly. “Opossums carry their babies everywhere. Don’t tell me the call of the animal is so strong, she can’t even allow herself the rest of putting them down.”
“This community was among the first to change.” He spoke under his breath like me. “By now, the instincts are so ingrained, the entire town is made of only women and their children.” He noticed my confused look. “Opossum fathers don’t stick around after mating. The mothers are on their own.”
My brows blew. I couldn’t imagine that. Yes, I looked after Mama and my siblings, but the only baby in our cottage was Savia. Six infants at the same time was a humbling that would bring me to my knees.
My eyes suddenly narrowed to slits. “And what about the kind of beast you are?” I hissed. “Instincts or no, you better not have it in your head that you won’t stick around after mating .”
Alisdair chuckled. “If such a thought were in my head, the immediate thought following it would be that my fierce and brutal queen would hunt me down, and bash such a foolish notion out of my skull.”
“Too right she would.”
“Is everything okay?” Treasa asked, catching the end of my reply.
“Everything’s fine.” I kept my voice low out of respect for the sleeping babies.
Long, furry noses and bony, clawed hands poked out of their slings. If the curse took this community first, it explained why there was no preamble with the next generations. They were all born cursed.
“We’ve come to ask for your help,” I continued, dropping down in the armchair across from her. “Although, I admit I don’t know how you’re meant to help us.”
Alisdair took over. “Treasa is the only one to help us. She is the spymaster of Lumenfell.”
I gaped at the beaming, barefoot woman covered in babies. “I beg your pardon?”
She laughed. “My lord flatters me with such an important title. I am merely a go-between for him and his loyal servants within the other kingdoms. You see, Mother Meya saw fit to bless me with a gift.” Treasa pressed her finger to her temple and turned to the side.
“What am I—?” I lurched back, clutching the chair arms.
A mirror appeared before Treasa’s face, and the reflection in it... was mine.
My round eyes, hanging jaw, and whipping head as I tried to see how she was doing that.
“I pierce through the veil of distance and space,” Treasa said, “allowing me to keep a concerned eye on the nations. I can also do—” Treasa picked up a pillow and tossed it through the mirror. It appeared out of the air and plopped on my lap. “This.”
“Amazing,” I breathed. “I’ve never heard of such an incredible power.”
She smiled serenely. “It is my honor to be blessed by Meya. It is incredible the gifts that can develop when our magic is allowed to grow and change freely.”
Foalan took that opportunity to bring out the tea. I sat back and sipped while the three of them made idle conversation.
For centuries, Elvans have cursed their inability to defeat Shadowsoul, and for centuries, they didn’t know it was because they continued to underestimate him. The wealth and power he hoarded in his small, barren, freezing corner of the world was staggering. A spymaster that could freely and discreetly watch King Salman while he plotted, planned, and took a shit? Elva had already lost the war, they just hadn’t accepted it yet.
But what about my war? I paused bringing the cup to my lips. Isn’t Treasa the key to everything? She could look in on my family. She could pass them a message. She could help me break this curse.
“Aya Treasa,” I blurted, breaking into the conversation. “Can you check on some people for me? Olene, Meliora, Gisela, Jaclan, and Savia. I—” I tossed my head. “Actually, forget Jaclan. I don’t know why I said that name. I don’t know who that is, but the other four,” I pressed, leaning in. “Can you look in on the other four? Just to—” make sure they’re okay, was stolen off my tongue.
Of course, Emiana wouldn’t care in the slightest about the well-being of a few peasants. “Just to check,” I said instead.
Treasa shook her head. “I’m sorry, Lady Ana.” It stood my hairs on end that she already knew I preferred to be called Ana. “I can’t look in on people I’ve never met, but I can tell you which of your loyal servants would do well inserting themselves into key positions and places around Elva. That I can do easily.”
“One would need to pose as a temple priestess in Rajadom,” Foalan added.
She whistled. “You do bring me the most interesting challenges, Foalan. As you know, priestesses are chosen from birth. One doesn’t simply walk in and request the job.”
“Is my spymaster telling me she means to fail me?” Alisdair’s voice dropped the freezing temperature another twenty degrees.
One of the babies stopped nursing and stared at him, as if sensing danger, and knowing exactly where to look.
Treasa’s smile went nowhere. “I have never failed you, my lord. I have no intention of doing so now. Give me two days. Assignments will be handed out and assets moved into position by then.”
“Very well.” Alisdair stood to leave.
“What about the siren?” I asked. “We have another strategy. A better one. Send her back to her home.”
“She goes nowhere until after we’ve won. A general goes to war with a thousand strategies, not just one. Should our plan fail, we will need her and her power.”
“But, Alisdair—”
“I would worry less about a fish woman, and more about yourself.”
My expression told him I didn’t know what he meant.
He smirked. “You’re about to earn your second name, little bird. They call me Shadowsoul. What will they call you? Kinslayer? Slaughterer? The One Who Ended the War Shadowsoul Began?” Alisdair laughed. “Queen Ana, Destroyer of Elva.”
He backed out of the door, the shadows claiming him and his open delight. “I do so look forward to finding out.”
I sat there for so long—silent and shaking—that Treasa came over, squeezed my shoulder, and handed me a baby. Even as the sweet little furry face nuzzled against me, drifting off to sleep, I couldn’t shake away the vision that my hands were staining her with blood.
EVENTUALLY, I DRANK my cold tea, gave Treasa her sleeping babe, thanked her, and went out to meet the silent party waiting for me. It was just Alisdair, Foalan, Eadaoin, and three guards.
“We sent the litter and the bearers on,” Eadaoin explained. “Hope that was okay.”
“Of course, it’s okay. No reason for them to stand around in the cold.” I pulled my coat tighter, shivering in the strange, silent village. “Can we not do something for the women here?” I asked. “I know they can’t control their instincts, but it’s not right that all of the mothers have been abandoned to raise a litter of children, just because it’s what a skulking rodent would do.”
Alisdair hummed. “It is already law that I’ll rip out the throat of every faeriken that uses instinct as excuse for running out on their responsibilities. Served as a deterrent for a while, but then they learned to run faster and hide better.” He bowed over my hand, dropping a kiss on my frozen knuckles. “But Foalan is ready and willing to organize a squad to hunt them down. Per my queen’s wishes.”
My fist clenched within the folds of my sleeve. I knew Alisdair enjoyed this. Horrifying me with his cruelty, and then delighting when I threw it back. He said on the very day of our true mating that his deepest wish was to corrupt the crown jewel and hope of Lyrica, but—
Is it me he’s corrupting? I thought, gazing into his eyes. Or is he merely drawing out the cold and cruel nature of his true soulmate—Emiana.
The day before, that rant about hating Salman and rising higher than a son of his ever could, was all her. It was my plan to use silent assassins instead of genocide, if it meant innocent people wouldn’t die to give Alisdair an easy victory. But the delight in what that victory would bring... that wasn’t mine.
But Alisdair loved it.
I was trying to make the man fall in love with the true me, and all I was achieving was his infatuation with the bitch who destroyed my life.
“No, Foalan. You needn’t send out any death squads. There’s no point,” I said, pulling away from Alisdair. “It won’t deter anything or help anyone.
“You can’t make someone love you. You can’t make them stay.” I looked upon Alisdair as his grin faded. “In the end, instinct always leads you to the place you’re meant to be... and the person you’re meant to be with.”
Giving him my back, I walked off alone into the dark.
After a beat they all caught up to me, and then pulled ahead, leaving Alisdair and me trailing behind.
I felt him watching me out of the corner of my eye.
“Something has happened,” he said. It was a statement, not a question.
“No.”
“Yes. You’re making that face again. You’re seconds away from bawling to put Treasa’s younglings to shame, so out with it. What’s wrong with you?”
I faced away, expression blank. “There’s nothing wrong with me, Alisdair. I don’t know what’s led you to believe otherwise, but everything’s the same as it was yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that one. I suspect it will be the same tomorrow and the next too.”
We left Bevin behind, setting off down the frosted path.
“You should be happy, husband.” I pulled my hood up against the falling snow, further concealing my face. “Your little bird has finally accepted her fate.”
He grasped my shoulder. “Ana— Foalan, on your left!”
Figures exploded out of the trees, trapping my scream in my throat, then ripping it back out.
Horrible, mangled accidents of Meya poured out of the shadows, pouncing on Foalan, Eadaoin, and the guards. Yellowed fangs, foot-long claws, tangled patches of fur stretched over leathery, black skin.
Taken.
“Ana, get down!”
Movement flickered out of the corner of my eye. Even as I spun and was blasted in the face with foul, rank breath, I knew it was too late. Claws fell from above, eager for the spray of blood my severed head would bring.
“Ugh!” A force slammed me from behind, burying me under body and snow. Alisdair’s roar shredded my eardrum, letting me know he took the hit that was meant for me.
“Stay here,” Alisdair bit out.
“What? What are you—? Alisdair!”
He climbed off me, heading straight for the mass of claws and fangs that claimed our friends. Leaving me behind.
“Alisdair?” I flipped on my back, terror flooded my senses and whiting out my mind as more, more, and more Taken burst out of the trees—descending on me. “Alisdair!”
“Argh!” They pounced on me, drooling jaws glistening, and smacked hard—cracking their noses and spurting oozing, black blood on the barrier.
Heart yammering, I reached out, my fingers tracing the cool glass. He protected me. Alisdair saved me.
The creature leaned over me, looking straight into my eyes as its lips peeled back. The first time I saw the Taken, I saw madness in their orbs. This time... I saw intelligence.
Fear flooded me deeper and more chilling than the cold. I wasn’t safe. We weren’t safe. No one in Elva or beyond was safe as long as these beings roamed the world. Trapping my gaze, the monster looked directly at me as it raised its fists, and smashed it on the glass.
The first strike sounded the call. The Taken went wild—pounding, kicking, scratching, punching, and attacking the thin barrier protecting my life.
“Alisdair!” I strained to find him through the chaos. It was so dark— Why was it so fucking dark in this cursed hell forsaken by the sun! I couldn’t see where Alisdair was, or if he’d gotten to Foalan, Eadaoin, or the others in time.
Bang! Bang! Craackkk!
I snapped up, alighting on the long crack spiderwebbing over my head.
Their leader shoved one away from the pack. I thought it was to stop anyone else from getting to me first, until the creature came back with a branch.
Yes, very intelligent.
The branch fell in an arc, pounding the crack wider, wider, wider.
“Alisdair!” One final scream, and the glass shattered.
“Ana!” His voice found me as claws encircled my throat, hauling me off my feet. “Shut your eyes!”
I snapped my lids shut, screams leaking through my teeth.
“Anchana!”
The sun exploded.
Light burst before my lids, assaulting the thin, sensitive barrier and flooding my irises. Bright spots stunned me, throwing my head back—and finding myself falling.
I crashed to the snow, the claws around my neck gone. I peeled my lids open and white-hot light blazed my eyes to dust.
No. That was the sight of the horrid, unnatural creatures before me—exposed and laid bare.
I took one look at them and screamed. Almost as loud as they did.
Dropping on all fours, the Taken fled before the light, the fight, and all—racing into the thick and twisting trees.
My chest heaved, rocked by ragged, rapid breaths that wouldn’t come in fast enough, and left too quickly. I dropped to my knees, my hand falling beside a pretty, purple flower—sprouting rapidly, as if wanting to gift me beauty after witnessing hideousness.
“I—I—” I willed moisture into my dry mouth. “Is everyone okay?” I croaked.
“We’re alive.” I turned to see Foalan staggering to his feet—a sword clutched in one hand, and his bleeding arm clutched by the other. “That’ll do for now.”
“What was that!” Eadaoin had to be helped up. A long, vicious gash split her cheek. “The Taken have never attacked in such large numbers before. We’ve only ever dealt with stragglers and opportunists. That was an ambush!”
“Not... only.” I made to stand and promptly tipped over. Alisdair was there in a blink. Catching me under the arms, he held me up and steady. “They ambushed our carriage when I first arrived in Lumenfell. I’m starting to think they’ve taken a particular dislike to me.” I forced a laugh, no one joined in.
Foalan shared a grim look with Alisdair. “They didn’t chase after you, my lord. They stayed behind, tearing and fighting to get Lady Ana.”
Alisdair nodded—curt. “I assumed they would follow me. I was attempting to draw them off, but as you said, they were fixed on another prize.”
“Me?” My voice was barely higher than a squeak. “Why would they want me?”
“I couldn’t begin to guess. They do have some sense of intelligence,” Alisdair admitted. “They always go for the strongest in a group, killing them first and then taking out the rest. But this time, they separated you from help, and focused their bloodthirst. Why not give their attention to the strongest?” He eyed me. “Unless they believe the strongest in our party is you.”
I looked around as though he was talking about someone else. “Me? Obviously not. They must’ve thought I was an easy meal, and then rage took them when that meal was put under glass.”
“Hmm.” Alisdair did not look convinced. “Further your mystery deepens, little bird.”
“There is no mystery. Nothing is— Look out!”
The lone Taken surged out of the dark, proving he hadn’t forgotten his ways after all. He lunged straight at Alisdair’s back.
I didn’t think, I moved. Snatching up the fallen branch, I shot around Alisdair and struck—plunging the jagged wood into his chest. The creature clutched his downfall, and laughed.
Fear flooded me, weakening my knees. It wasn’t their presence that struck fear into the souls of faemen, it was that awful, high-pitched laugh.
“Agh!” Alisdair clamped his face, claws piercing his skull. Fire poured out his palm and into the Taken’s open mouth—burning it from the inside out.
Its charred, mangled corpse fell to the ground—the smile etched on his face.
“Ana.” Alisdair spun me around and kissed me so hard, my toes curled. I broke away flushed and panting. “Your boundless mystery is only outpaced by your bravery.”
“I—uh—”
Alisdair walked off, my time of praise over. “The flowers,” he barked. “Destroy them. Every one.”
I kept a look out as little fires erupted all over the path, turning his one weakness into ash.
“Let’s go,” Alisdair said when they were done. “We’ve been here too long. And from now on, Lady Ana travels with a full guard.”
“I’ll protect her.” Eadaoin moved to my side and took my hand, staining it with blood. “I’ll never leave her side again.”
“Thank you,” I said simply, seeing no need for argument.
I glanced down as we walked off, my fingers curling around the delicate, purple flower.
Go ahead and fall for the woman who jammed her soul down my throat, you obstinate bastard. Nothing will stop me from getting home to my mother and sisters.
I tried every method there was, now it was time for the one that works. As Alisdair said, a general doesn’t go to war without a plan B.