Chapter 2
Chapter Two
FINNEGAN
I take the corner a little faster than I should, but I’m all out of patience.
In less than fifteen minutes, I’ll be able to see my ma.
I’m both looking forward to and dreading it. Because that means saying goodbye to her, and I’m no closer to being ready for that than I was when I got the phone call.
How does one prepare for saying goodbye to a parent? We know they’re likely to die before we are, but there’s no way to prepare ourselves for that.
Especially not when it’s something sudden like with my ma.
How haven’t we found a cure for cancer yet? It’s been around for so long.
But I already know the answer to that.
All research and development moved to studying the new designations we found ourselves with after the Event, and now the focus is on why so few females are born each year. Not to mention the number of omegas and even alphas.
Our world is slowly dying after two hundred years .
“Focus, Finn,” I murmur as I grip the steering wheel, tired.
I’m too exhausted to let my mind run amok while driving. I can’t get into an accident before I see my ma.
I’ve never been more grateful than when I pull into the hospital parking lot and park in the first available spot.
Jumping out of the car, I pull out my phone and find the text from my da telling me which room Ma is in.
Ten minutes later, I’m pacing outside her room. I know I should go inside, but I can’t bring myself to.
I rub my eyes, as if that’ll make the tears disappear. I don’t want to walk in there crying.
Sure, Ma knows she’s dying, but she doesn’t need me to walk in there sobbing like a baby.
My eyes widen when her door opens and Da steps out, closing it quietly behind him.
“Are you planning on pacing out here all day?” he asks in that no-nonsense way of his.
I shrug, unable to meet his eyes.
“She’s waiting for you.”
I swipe at the tears that sneak out and fall down my cheek. “You think I don’t know that, Da?”
He immediately softens. “I know this is hard, my boy. It’s not any easier for me, but she’s barely holding on.
You’re the only reason she hasn’t gone already.
She’s in pain, and she’s ready to leave this world behind.
We might not be ready, and it hurts like hell, but I don’t want to see her in pain anymore. I know you don’t want that either.”
“I don’t, but I just…” I trail off, not even sure what I’m trying to say.
“You’re not ready. None of us are, but we don’t get a choice in the matter, Finnegan.” Da pulls me into his arms, hugging me tight. “Now, I need you to suck it up and get in there. Say goodbye to your ma, and then she can move on. Only then will we grieve for her.”
I cling to him for another moment before nodding. With one last sweep of my arms over my eyes, I prepare myself for what’s likely to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I’m so grateful that my da has never been one of those men who believe men shouldn’t show what they’re feeling. If he had been, I might never have become a psychologist.
As I stare into his eyes, I see the pain he’s in, and I hate it.
I hate all of this.
“I’m ready,” I say, even though it’s a lie.
Da chuckles. “You’re not, but it’s time.” He pushes open the door, and I trail behind him.
As soon as my eyes land on my ma, I want to burst into tears.
She looks so small and frail lying there in the hospital bed.
My ma has always been a formidable woman.
She was the one who ruled the house, no matter how much my da tried to say otherwise.
She was the one I feared getting in trouble with growing up.
Da was a big old softie, but Ma didn’t put up with any bullshit.
But she looks nothing like the woman I remember.
I swear right then and there never to remember her like this. This isn’t the woman she is.
“My boy!” Ma’s eyes fill with tears as she reaches for me, but I see the way her arms shake with the effort. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
I rush over to her, hugging her close before taking her hand in mine as I lean down to kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry it took so long.”
“Ye're aff yer heid,” she waves off my apology, her accent growing deeper with the familiar phrase. “You’re an adult with a life of your own, and you live on the other side of the world. Of course, it took time for you to get here. Plus, you were on that show trying to win over that bonnie omega. Bree, right?”
“Aye, Bree.”
Ma nods. “I’ve been watching it with your da. There are some things I’d rather not know about my son, but I just pretend not to see those bits. The show isn’t over yet, is it?”
“No, Ma. There are still a few more weeks until her heat.”
“Well, don’t leave a dying woman on pins and needles. Did she choose you before you left?”
I give her a soft smile and shake my head. “Nay. Bree wasn’t the omega for me, and I wasn’t the alpha for her.”
Ma’s smile falls. “Oh. I was hoping…”
She doesn’t have to finish her sentence for me to know what she was hoping. She was hoping to see me mated before she died.
I wish I could’ve given her that.
“That’s okay, Finnegan.” Ma pats my hand, still clinging to hers. “You’ll find the right woman for you—whether she’s an omega, a beta, or even an alpha. I know she’s out there just waiting to meet you.”
I wish I were as sure as she was.
“Thanks, Ma. Don’t worry, I’ll keep looking for her.”
Ma nods. “You better.”
Silence falls, and I can’t bring myself to speak. There’s so much I want to say to her, but I don’t know where to begin.
Ma sighs. “Look, we both know why you’re here. I’m dying, and I’m sorry I’m leaving the two of you alone in the world.”
“No, Ma.” I shake my head. “Don’t you apologize for something you have no control over.”
Da grunts. “That’s what I’ve been telling her.”
“I love you so much, Ma, and I feel like I haven’t said that enough in my life.
You and Da mean the world to me, and I feel like I’ve all but ignored you since moving away, and I’m so sorry for that.
I hope you know how much your love and support have meant to me.
I’ve done my best to make the two of you proud of me?—”
“Of course, we’re proud of you, Finnegan.
How can we not be? You chose a career where you help others take care of themselves.
Did we hear from you less after you moved?
Of course we did, but even if you lived in Glasgow, it would’ve been the same.
Sure, you would’ve been closer for visits, but this is what happens when your child becomes an adult.
They live their own lives, and that’s what we want for you.
I just want you to be happy, my boy. Tell me you’re happy. ”
Even if I were miserable, I’d tell her the same thing.
“I am, Ma. I love my life. It’s a good one even if I haven’t yet found love, and it’s all because of the two of you.” I brush away the tears I didn’t mean to shed. “I love you so much, Ma. You’re the best ma a boy could ask for.”
She lights up when she grins. She doesn’t look as tired or as ragged as she did when I walked in the door. “And you’re the best son a ma could ask for. You’re the best thing I ever did in this world. I love you so much, my boy.”
Ma reaches up to cup my cheek, and I melt into her touch.
“You’re a good boy, Finnegan Abernathy. I know this is going to be hard on you and your da, but remember you still have each other. I love you both so much.” She sighs, her hand falling back to her side. “I’m tired now. I think I’ll take a nap. Will you stay?”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I love you, Ma. Just rest.”
Her smile is tired. “Both of you give me a kiss before I sleep.”
“Of course.” I kiss her forehead before leaning back while my da places a light kiss on her lips .
When he pulls away, she looks up at him with all the love in the world, and my heart breaks.
“I love you, Fiona girl,” Da murmurs against her lips.
“And I, you, Alistair.” Her eyes flutter shut as Da pulls away, dropping back into the chair on her other side.
Our eyes meet across her, and when I see the tears glimmering in his eyes, I can’t hold back any longer. Tears spill down my cheeks as I cling to my ma’s hand, but I somehow remain silent even as grief rushes through me.
This might not be the end just yet, but it’s coming, and I’m so not ready for it.
My da and I sit there for hours, both of us crying on and off as Ma sleeps, but neither of us says a word as we hold her hands.
When she takes her last breath, the machines scream loudly, but Da reaches up and presses a button to silence them.
“The nurse said we had to leave the monitor on so they would know when the time came, but made sure I knew how to silence it,” he tells me, his voice catching as he stares at Ma. “Fuck, I thought I was prepared, but I’m not.”
I open my mouth, unsure of what to say to comfort him, but no words come out. Instead, a sob spills out—loud and filled with pain. I try to bite it back, but I can’t.
It’s like once I start, I can’t stop. I lay my head on top of my hand that’s still clinging to Ma’s as I cry.
My ma is gone.
What am I supposed to do now?
It’s not long before Da’s sobs join mine.
I wish there was something I could do to comfort him, but how do you comfort a man who just lost the love of his life?
You can’t.
Instead, we cry our tears and share in the grief of losing the woman we love most in the world.