Chapter 16
Sixteen
Sabina
It’s like the floor vanishes and I’m falling. Down, down, down. Eyes wide, I stare at the women in front of me. Time stops. We all wait. My lips part and I manage to regain feeling in my limbs.
“What did you call me?”
“Taylan? Of course we’ll use Sabina still, but that’s your real name, isn’t it?” There’s no judgment in Antonia’s tone.
I stagger toward the couch, then sit on the edge of the cushion. The others join me, Antonia and Charlotte taking the chairs across from me, Genevieve sits next to me.
“We aren’t going to turn you in, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Charlotte says.
“How did you figure that out but not see how she feels about the enforcer?” Genevieve asks.
“I don’t know. How did you not see that she wasn’t anything like a normal royal?” Charlotte asks.
“She was Iskvalandian,” Genevieve snaps.
I hold my hand up. “Please. Go back. What is happening here? You all figured this out when?”
“You weren’t exactly princess material,” Antonia says.
“We pieced it together,” Genevieve adds.
“And you never said anything?” I ask.
“We had to be certain, especially after Katherine.” Charlotte looks over at Antonia. “And I wasn’t sure everyone would feel the same.”
“She means me.” Antonia crosses her arms over her chest.
“And how do you all feel about this?” I ask.
“Did you kill the emperor?” Charlotte blurts.
“What if I did?” Chills run down my spine as I recall his body rising.
“I’d ask why Elliot’s magic is still bound.” Charlotte lowers her eyes, then pulls on a stray thread on her skirt.
“You know about that?” I look at the others. “Do you all know about that?”
“We do now. Charlotte told us what her boyfriend said. About how when he uses his magic, it nearly kills him. How the emperor ties all the men to himself to give himself more power and to control them.”
I lean forward and take Charlotte’s hand. “What happens to him?”
“It’s terrible, Sabina. His back is covered in welts, sometimes they even split open. He can barely even walk after.”
“Did the emperor make him use his magic?” I ask.
She nods. “A few times.”
“What does his magic do?” I ask.
“He won’t tell me. He said it was too dangerous for me to know.”
I squeeze her hand. “I understand. Are there others? Did he say anything about that?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know. He wasn’t even supposed to tell me but I saw the injuries and he was drinking to try to numb himself.
He confessed everything.” She looks up at me, her eyes welling with tears.
“It’s awful. He’s in so much pain when it happens.
Why didn’t it stop? The prince—the new emperor—has him using it more than ever. He’s constantly in pain.”
“I’m not sure why it didn’t stop,” I admit.
“You’re going to kill Caiden, aren’t you?” She looks hopeful.
“She can’t,” Antonia says. “Not without his men killing us, right?”
“Yes. He says if anything happens to him, they have orders…”
Charlotte pulls her hand away from mine and slumps back into the chair. “He’s going to die, Taylan.”
“I’m working on it. I’m trying to find out how they’re still bound.”
“The enforcer is too, isn’t he?” Antonia asks.
I hesitate. It’s not my business to share, but these women are smart. They already know the answer. I nod.
Antonia shoots up from her chair. “Good. He deserves it. How many innocents has he killed? We all went along with it, praising him and begging for his attention. He’s just the same as the others.”
I blink a few times, then watch her walk toward the window. She stops in front of it, staring out into the blue light of dusk. It’s a side of her I’ve never seen. How had I misjudged these women so badly? I really thought they were all happy being part of the structure of the court.
It was survival, the same as me. They were playing a role.
“Elliot doesn’t have a choice,” Charlotte says quietly. “He’s got three younger sisters. His father died right after the youngest was born. Without him…”
I give her a gentle smile. “We’ll figure something out, I promise.”
She nods and Genevive hands her a cup of tea from the cart. The women whisper together, Genevive comforting her friend.
I notice Antonia is staring out the window, ignoring the rest of us.
Charolotte and Genevive make sense. I understand why they’d want to help me.
Why they’d risk the emperor’s wrath. Antonia is a mystery, though.
She’s always been the most proper. The one who followed all protocols.
Even when she didn’t agree with my actions, she followed instructions.
I was certain she would do anything for high ranking marriage or a position of prestige within the court.
Something changed. I cross the room to join her. “I’m missing something, here. I thought you were the most loyal. I thought you reported directly to Marian. I don’t know how I didn’t see it.”
She stares straight ahead but speaks quietly.
“It’s different outside the city. Worse, if you can imagine.
My family has so little status. They thought if I married well, it would help.
Katherine’s family was the wealthiest, most influential family in our village.
My mother wanted us to be like them so badly. I was her hope for that.”
“And now Katherine and her entire family are dead,” I add.
She traces a line down the condensation on the window. “Yes. That loyalty, that wealth, none of it mattered.”
“No. It didn’t,” I agree.
“And nothing is going to change if I play the game. I marry some old man, like poor Juliette, have babies, and pretend I’m happy.” She looks at me. “Your life means something, Taylan. You’re trying to change things.”
“I lost everyone to the rebellion,” I tell her. “My father first. Then my mother. Then both my brothers. All of them. Dead. Fighting for something they’ll never see. Something that might never happen.”
“But they fought. And they lived for something. Katherine lived for something. What am I doing? Living to further my family’s ambitions? For what? A larger house and fancier parties?”
“Are you sure you know what you’re saying?” I ask.
Charlotte and Genevieve join us. I look over at them. “And you two? This isn’t a game. You saw what happened to Katherine.”
“The emperor is dead. That’s not something we even thought was possible,” Genevieve says.
“Five hundred years ruling. And you helped end it. Katherine helped end it,” Antonia says.
“I didn’t kill him,” I say. “It was Ludis, the prince of Iskvaland. Sabina, the real Sabina’s brother.”
“I thought he was dead,” Antonia says.
“Apparently everyone did.” I sigh. At this point, it doesn’t really matter if they know, does it? Caiden knows who I really am. I’m guessing there’s others who do. I’m married to him. That has to give me at least some protection. At least until he gets what he wants from Iskvaland.
So much of what I did was to protect these women but if I got to choose how I wanted to use my own life, they should get the same option. Besides, I could use the help. Especially to find Anya. Then they can get themselves to safety or stay behind knowing exactly what it means if they do.
“Come, sit. Eat. I’ll explain everything.” I walk over to the cart and push it toward the couches.
They silently help me remove the covers and we carry the plates to the table at the center of the sitting area.
None of us touch the food while I explain how I got here, my involvement with Lee, how he turned out to be Ludis, and how the emperor died.
I leave out all the details with Brevan.
They already guessed some of it, but some of that is just for me.
Besides, it’s too painful to bring up knowing they might ask about us.
When I’m finished, they stare at me, open mouthed and wide-eyed.
“Well, that was not what I expected,” Charlotte says.
“All this time? He knew you looked like his sister?” Genevieve looks green.
“I know. I don’t like thinking about it.”
“He’s here? The Iskvalandian prince?” Antonia asks. “Is he single?”
“Antonia!” Genevive gasps.
“No, no, I see where she’s going with that. He got you to fall for him, you were sent to do the same to Caiden…” Charlotte’s brow furrows. “Won’t he see it coming, though?”
“Not if he thinks we’re social climbing dimwits.” Antonia shrugs.
“Fine, I’ll do it,” Genevieve offers. She glances at Antonia. “You don’t have the patience to play stupid for that long.”
“She’s not wrong,” Charlotte agrees.
“I am so sorry I underestimated all of you,” I say again.
“Everyone always does. It’s why they chose you. And why they thought they could control you,” Antonia says.
“You’re right. They’re still doing it. They’re still using me, thinking they have the upper hand.”
“Well, you’re not alone anymore, and they won’t see that coming,” Antonia says.
“You’re sure you want to help with this? I don’t intend to leave any of the Pendralian empire standing when I’m finished.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a purple flame. It flickers and glows, then vanishes. A warm feeling of approval washes over me.
“If one of us goes down, we all go down, you know that, right?” I confirm.
“Then we better be careful. And we better bring them down first,” Antonia says.
Charlotte jumps to her feet and grabs four wine glasses, then sets them in front of us before returning to the cart to retrieve a bottle of wine. She opens it, then pours.
Wordlessly, each of us pick up a glass, then hold it in the air. “For Katherine.”
“For freedom,” Antonia says.
“For love,” Charlotte says.
“For my mother,” Genevieve says.
We clink our glasses together, then drink. We’re quiet for a moment, then Charlotte giggles. We all look at her.
“Can you imagine the look on Marian’s face if she could see us now?”
My smile fades. The emperor killed her, too. “And for Marian. She never got to taste freedom, but for her, and for all those trapped by this empire, we will fight.”
They raise their glasses again, then we drink. And drink some more.
When everyone else is asleep, I make my way to the window to stare out into the starless sky. A featherlight touch grazes my shoulder but when I look, nobody is there.
Then a voice fills my head. “Help them find their power, daughter.”
A lump rises in my throat and goosebumps trail down my arms. I know exactly what she’s asking, but I have no idea how I’m going to pull it off.